The Change of Seasons
by Golfbabe87
Summary: Post season 2 finale. The battle at Mount Weather finds Clarke searching for a reason to begin new. However, leaving the world behind is nearly impossible. Clarke Griffin must become something else, something more, and find the ability to accept all that she is and can be. The living are hungry. Slow burn Clexa.
1. Chapter 1

Please see AN at the end.

" _Trigedasleng."_

* * *

On the third day Clarke realized she was unprepared. If she was honest, she knew within the first twenty-four hours after having left Camp Jaha. She was without food, water, and had little protection from the many dangers living in the forest. Clarke could just as easily die from exposure as she could an assault. She knew this, but cared little. Clarke cared about few things.

 _Love is weakness._

She cared deeply about her friends and that emotion, that weakness for her loved ones, stripped her of everything. She killed an entire civilization to save forty-four of her own people. They were safe and protected behind well-built walls, but her hands were covered in the blood of those she had murdered to ensure the safety of her people. People who did not want her help anymore, and would most likely ostracize her should she to return to Camp Jaha.

 _I am doing the best I can._

 _It's not good enough._

Her actions were the reason why so many of them were alive. And why so many others were dead. Finn, Wells, Maya…Her father. It was a long list.

 _If you need forgiveness, I'll give that to you; you're forgiven._

Clarke did not have forgiveness, not from her friends nor from herself. Bellamy could only provide her with so much. It was kind of him to try and offer it, but she did not deserve forgiveness, not when she was unable to come to terms with all she had done. She was weak, and too afraid to find out what her people thought of her. Of the killer she had become.

Clarke could not bear the idea of how her own mother might view her now. Her life had spiraled out of control since her father was floated. Instead of slowing, life continued to fall further out of control until she landed in a war zone. She traded the war in the sky to one on the ground. No matter how hard she tried, it seemed she kept losing battles. Even if the war was won, the casualties were so numerous it hardly seemed like a victory. An entire population dead by her hand. No, not dead, murdered.

 _None of us has a choice here Clarke._

Clarke had a choice. She chose to sacrifice hundreds of lives, both innocent and guilty, as a personal vendetta. But at least they would not know the horror that Mount Weather would have inflicted on them all. The people of Mount Weather had a choice. They could have found a cure, or a treatment together. Cage had forced her hand and had not even considered the offer.

Why were all of her choices so difficult? Live or die. It was simple in theory, but not in practice.

 _You think our ways are harsh._

The first week she was barely alive. Clarke was sure she survived in the forest by luck. She was lucky enough to drink uncontaminated water, find berries that were edible, and sleep undisturbed by both humans and animals alike. The days felt dream like, and her body foreign. She survived because that was what she knew; what she learned how to do on the ground.

Clarke did not want to die, but she was not sure if she wanted to live. So she kept walking into the unknown.

 _I bear it, so they don't have to._

After two weeks in solitude, Clarke decided that if she was going to survive she had to commit. She was alive due to an odd twist of fate, and maybe her survival was a sign that she take her own advice and do more than just survive. Providing for herself was the first step.

Clarke hunted. She took one of her few weapons, a knife given to her by the Heda of the Trigedakru and killed a large snake. She skinned the reptile, cooked its flesh, and proceeded to boil a fresh batch of water in its cleaned skin. She collected twine, and carved thick branches and pliable wood to make a bow and arrow. Her first few attempts were more than pitiful and unsuccessful. She was almost glad for the isolation, so no one would bare witness to poorly failed attempts to become a hunter, among all of her other abysmal survival skills.

Although, her skills as a hunter were poor when she first landed on the Earth, she was not unskilled. True, most of Clarke's time spent on the ground had consisted of one crisis after the next, but she gleaned more than diplomacy and medical skills.

The longer she walked, the stronger her grip became around the hilt of her knife, and the truer her arrows flew. Her thighs grew strong, her legs sturdy, and her steps sure footed amongst the brush. Clarke learned how to avoid certain predators, and how to attract and unearth food.

Her mind was so preoccupied by her own survival that she rarely thought of home, and those she left behind. On those rare occasions she did think of them, Clarke thought of her mother, of Monty and Bellamy who had been besides her when she decided to become a murderer. She thought of what her father might think of the person she was today, and she thought of Lexa. Clarke thought of the Trigedakru Commander every time she unsheathed her knife and was able to feed herself and live another day. Even after the warriors betrayal, some form of Lexa lingered. Clarke's chest constricted every time she remembered the way Lexa's eyes looked as she left Clarke and the Sky People to die. On the days she was most vulnerable, Clarke remembered the way Lexa's lips pressed softly to her own and how one single kiss made heat pool in her belly. The pressing of lips reminded Clarke of one of the many stories from the lips of her father; how Judas betrayed Jesus with a kiss.

It made her think of Finn in their final moments together. Clarke remembered the feeling of pressing her lips desperately to his one final time as she ended his life and Finn's blood covered her hand.

It also reminded Clarke of why she had left Camp Jaha. She needed to come to terms with her actions and those of everyone around her. There was anger, sadness and so much fear and hate for herself that she could hardly feel any one emotion let alone all at once. It left her numb but the numbness was almost better than feeling hatred. How was one person able to fill the void that emerged after the anger and the hate passed?

Anger was predominant in the second week, followed by bitterness and grief. Clarke wanted to place blame on someone, anyone else.

 _None of us has a choice here Clarke._

Dante was correct. When the realization came, it nearly knocked the air from her lungs and stole all of her breathe. Lexa, Dante, Cage, her mother…They all made choices. Looking back, all of the decisions were made in order to protect loved ones.

 _Love is weakness._

Was love really such a weakness? It drove people to make horrendous decisions. They risked so much for the sake of love, that she wondered if love could be the only emotion that made every horrible decision worth it in the end.

Her mother was a good example. Clarke still blamed Abby for her father's death, but she understood why her mother had turned her father in.

Lexa sacrificed an alliance between feuding societies to save her people. Hers was a sacred duty bound by honor, and despite her feelings, Lexa did what was best for her own flesh and blood. Whether or not any of their interactions were real or meant the same to her as they had to Clarke were inconsequential. Lexa's feelings after Tondc's bombing caught her unaware, both because of the depth of emotion in Lexa's gaze and by Clarke's revelation of her own hidden desire for Lexa so soon after the death of her previous lover.

Dante tried to do what was best for his people. It was selfish, and immoral, but knowing your loved ones would live because of your decisions made it bearable.

As the sharp point of her blade traced out stars in the soil, Clarke realized she would have made the same decision again. She would pull the lever to sever hundreds of lives in order to protect forty-four of her own.

Chapped lips turned up and she shook her head with a sigh. Nearly a month on her own and she was only beginning to come to terms with her actions and those of others. If she could accept the truth, it was one step closer to feeling like a person again. Maybe there was hope that those she wronged at Camp Jaha could also accept her crimes against the people of Mount Weather.

The night was warm and the air hung heavily making her clothes stick against her flesh. She sighed and leaned against a large tree. Clarke swore the air was so heavy she could practically taste it. It was easy to get lost in feeling everything around her; the climate was so different from the Ark. There was so much to experience on the ground. The nights did not cool and the days grew long. Seasons. That is what these changes in weather were. Perhaps this was what summer felt like. If so, it meant that fall would come, and so would winter. Clarke was well versed in literature (of the remaining literature that they had on the Ark) and she knew enough to realize that winters could be harsh in certain climates. She felt excited at the prospect of snow. One day, perhaps there would be actual paper or paints that she could draw all of the images in her head that seemed to want to explode every day. Faces, scenery, and battlefields. Maybe if she could get them onto an actual canvas, they would stop burning behind her eyes.

Clarke was almost too preoccupied by her revelations to notice the snap of twigs. The noise repeated itself and her muscles tensed. She gripped her knife, and did not make a move to remove the gun from her belt. This was a different place, and her bullets were few. Clarke assumed it was an animal, but she heard the same sounds earlier in the last few days. For some reason, she doubted an animal would have been that patient.

Clarke decided that she was patient, but she was also exhausted.

"Whoever's following me, show yourself." Her words were calm despite the tense grip on her weapon.

She tried again with more authority in Trigedasleng. "Chon ste der!"

Irritated, she stood and tried to place where the sounds had originated from. If it were a Grounder, they would have killed her already. A Reaper would never hide, and her own people would warn her or answer back.

Sighing, she rose from her position in the dirt and brushed the leaves from her torn pants. It was quiet outside, and her stalker was talented. Clarke listened for any sign of motion while clutching her knife in her right hand and ready to reach for her firearm in the left. A shadow fell across a tree to her right and disappeared as her eyes spotted it. It was late and she really did not want a confrontation, but she would not be able to rest with a stranger nearby waiting to slit her throat. Clarke sighed and rushed the figure behind the tree in a sudden move.

Still hidden partly in the dark, the form blocked her somewhat clumsy thrust. She stumbled back and nearly lost her footing until she reacted on instinct and dodged a fist. The stranger still made brief contact with the side of her head leaving a small trail of blood seeping down her temple. She cursed her clumsy combat skills and parried to avoid a sweep that would have left her flat on her back. Clarke was outmatched.

By luck, she avoided an elbow to the nose and managed to use her stalkers momentary loss of balance to her advantage. In a flash, Clarke had her blade thrust under a chin using as much of her body weight to pin him down.

Both of them paused stunned at their new position. He was definitely a Grounder. However, Clarke doubted that her hand-to-hand combat abilities won this fight. No, if he wanted her dead, Clarke would have been dead. Instead, she had a few bruises and cuts. That was practically a playful scuffle for a Grounder.

"Who are you?" The Grounders' eyes grew wide in surprise that quickly contained.

"Do you understand me?" He gave no response so she pressed the blade closer to his jugular and repeated herself in broken Trigedasleng with the same result. She switched back to English. "I asked if you understand me. Don't make me ask again." She growled almost certain he knew her tongue.

Had they only just begun to follow her or had he followed her from the very beginning? Either was a possibility, as Clarke was not aware of herself let alone the world the first few weeks in the forest.

Finally, he gave a sharp nod avoiding the knife as much as possible.

"Good." Clarke pressed the knife along his throat and a thin sheen of blood seeped from the fresh wound. "Then understand me when I tell you to leave and do not come back. If I see you again, I will kill you."

"I have orders to follow the Skai Prisa." She was surprised at his low and soothing baritone. The title was new to her as well.

"Are you here to kill me?"

"No, merely follow to see if you seek vengeance." He added hesitantly. It was almost comical. She was hardly in a position to plan a coupe against the Trigedakru for their betrayal in the face of war.

"Who sent you?" Clarke asked, although she already knew. She forced more of her weight against his chest when he was silent. "Did Lexa send you?" She knew it was disrespectful to use the Commanders name instead of title amongst her people and Clarke reveled in the act of small defiance.

The warrior gave another small nod, wary of the knife at his throat, but never broke eye contact. Clarke's eyes narrowed. "If you are so eager to know if I am planning anything, I suggest you actually watch the people your Commander abandoned instead of a woman out in the woods by herself."

She nearly smiled and then cursed herself for speaking such truth. If the Trigedakru were watching her, it was likely they were already keeping close to Camp Jaha. There was a truce between their people before Lexa betrayed them, but did it still hold, even after the abandonment? Clarke felt that her mother would prevent any fighting if able, especially after Mount Weather. However, her mother had been known to make drastic decisions, floating her father included.

Her opponent's gaze burned assessing her for truth. When he found it, whatever it was, he nodded. "If I let you up, will you kill me?" It was a fair question.

In response, Clarke found their positions reversed. Her eyes widened as she lie trapped against the earth with a forearm obstructing her airflow. Her hands sought purchase to ease the pressure. "Of course," her voice croaked. "If you wouldn't mind, let me up so I can sulk?"

His facial expression did not change, but he released her. Clarke stayed for a moment longer gazing at the night sky before she rose to her feet.

"Mochof," she drawled. Clarke sheathed her knife and repositioned herself at the pitiful fire that was down to its last embers.

His eyes stayed on her assessing and calculating. He was an intimidating form to be sure. He was not exceptionally tall but he was thick and comprised of muscle. His clothes were dark and he had a modest beard with dark eyes and tan skin.

He stooped to the floor and retrieved the knife that she held to his throat moments ago. He offered it to her hilt first with his eyes down cast and she took it without a word.

"So if you're not going to kill me and you know that I have no plans to retaliate against your people, what do you want?"

He settled himself against a nearby tree in full view. He crossed his arms and folded his legs underneath. Clarke was perplexed at his demeanor. She was further perplexed when his eyes closed and he appeared for all purposes asleep.

"So I take it you're staying then?" His silence and unmoving presence was her answer. "Okay then. Nice chat."

She could not fathom how someone went from stalking to joining at the fireside. Clarke's eyes drooped in fatigue and she fought to keep herself alert as the night grew on. Her silent companion closed his eyes and his breathing evened until she could no longer tell if he was awake or not. As much as she tried to stay awake herself, Clarke's eyes eventually drifted closed as she settled into a ball on her side in front of the now smoking pile of twigs.

* * *

Something dropped heavily in front of her face and startled her awake. Opening her eyes, she saw the dead form of a fairly large animal. Its eyes stared at her and she noticed the large slit at its throat. It looked like some form of wild boar. Clarke's stomach rumbled at the thought of its flesh, a true testament to how long she went in between meals.

Her companion took out a sharp stone and began rebuilding the fire from the night before. Clarke sat up and watched him with curious eyes.

"Good morning," she tried.

He blew on the smoking embers in front of her.

"So is this breakfast?" she ventured.

He nodded and pointed to the animal. "Clean."

"Right. I would but I really haven't the best idea how to do that." Clarke had cleaned reptiles, and small rodents with little success, but such a large animal was beyond her. She could attempt it, and likely ruin most of it.

He approached Clarke and took her knife from her belt before she could prevent it from happening. He clasped the knife and put it in her left hand and encased her hand in his right. Together, the knife plunged in the hide and before long they were cleaning his kill in a steady and methodical procedure. Clarke caught on quickly, as she was the daughter of a surgeon, and began making the cuts on her own. He would lay a hand on her wrist when she made errors and correct her until she understood her mistake.

The more time they spent preparing this feast, the more Clarke grew inquisitive. He knew she was left-handed. Clarke felt that he was watching her for more than the allotted time she had first assumed. As the animal sat roasting on a crudely made spit, she wiped her hand across a sweaty brow and unknowingly smeared a small trail of blood along her forehead. She was proud of this small achievement and grateful for the assistance. Despite his lack of words, and somewhat intimidating presence, it was pleasant to have even a stranger's company.

The meat was juicy and the oil from the fat ran down her chin. Clarke licked her fingers greedily enjoying every second of the meal. Content for the moment, she leaned against a tree and rested her hands against her full belly and watched her companion eat at a slow pace while easily ripping flesh from bones.

Clarke contemplated many moments in silence before she decided to speak. "Ai laik Klark kom Skaikru."

He nodded almost reverently. "Skai Prisa." She found the respect with those words odd, especially since the title was new to her ears.

Clarke frowned. "Sky princess?" She questioned and he nodded in confirmation. It was an odd name, and no one of the Trikru had called her this before. A few of her friends had called her this in jest. "I'm not sure what that means," Clarke admitted.

"Ai badan yu op en nou moun," he spoke with veneration conveyed through his gaze.

Clarke swallowed, feeling suddenly very small and unworthy. "I'm not sure what that means either."

He nodded and stood. "I will teach you." He buried the remains of the animal. "Come, we have much ground to cover."

Clarke stood but did not follow immediately. "Where are we going? I'm not going back to my people," Clarke said and then added, "not yet at least. And your Heda no doubt has no wish to see me, nor I her."

"To the sea."

Clarke was intrigued. "The sea?" She echoed stupidly. It was one of her deepest desires when she lived in space, to see the ocean. She had spent much of her time in confinement staring at the pools of blue envisioning what it would feel and smell like. Her father told her stories of pirates, of whales and even mermaids as a child. The stories had fueled many of her drawings. All of these dreams seemed so long ago.

Clarke sighed. She had little else to do and no other destinations in mind other than where she did not want to end up.

"Okay, say we go to the sea for this purpose you haven't told me. I need to know your name first, since you obviously know who I am."

He hesitated, and almost seemed impressed that she would ask his identity. "Coltrane."

Clarke smiled at the name. "Well then Coltrane, lead the way."

Any fear of danger from this man of the Trikru was dwindling moment by moment. Clarke believed she had good judge of character. And if Lexa sent him, there must be a reason why she was still alive. Lexa was cool and calculating and filled with secrets. Clarke wondered if she was still alive due to harbored feelings from the Commander, but knew in her mind there must be another purpose.

Clarke pondered if Lexa knew of what she had done to the Mountain Men and if she feared what she was capable of. Brooding such things would not lead her any closer to the truth. The only way to find an answer was to ask Lexa directly. It was a likelihood that Clarke assumed would never happen, but she knew fate was fickle.

 _I do care, Clarke._

* * *

AN: The next chapter is written. I am currently one page into the third chapter. I will be posting the second installment in 7-10 days as I would like to stay one chapter ahead. Hopefully, I can make this somewhat intriguing for all of you. I have the next 7-10 chapters planned. This will be a slow burn Commander Princess, and I am going to make you all wait until chapter 4 or 5 for a reunion. Just giving you a heads up. No copyright intended, I do not own the CW's 100 show.

Translations:

Chon ste der- who is there

Mochof- thank you

Ai laik Klark kom Skaikru – I am Clark of the Sky People

Skai prisa – sky princess

Ai badan yu op en nou moun – I serve you and no other

Yu laik yuj- You are strong

Hod op- wait

Shop of – quiet


	2. Chapter 2

_Trigedasleng_

* * *

Clarke grumbled under her breath, cursing her companion yet again. Coltrane kept a grueling pace and rest breaks were few; except when he would impart a useful fact or skill. Coltrane was meticulous in educating Clarke on how to stalk prey, understanding the change in the brush and the noticing scents in the air. Clarke took her time cataloging plants in her mind and inquiring about their uses. Her fingers itched to sketch leaves and record information for later use. Coltrane was surprisingly knowledgeable about the curative uses of the vegetation. Once again she was curious why someone who had such valuable expertise was in the woods alone with her. Clarke was under the impression that healers, such as Nyko, were few and highly valued in a society of bred of warriors.

"Skai Prisa." Clarke turned her attention to the Triku warrior kneeling on the ground.

She knelt next to him observing the animal print in the dirt. There was still so much she did not understand, including why he insisted on calling her Skai Prisa instead of Clarke among them.

"It's a deer," she determined, "I'm not sure what kind." He grunted in chastisement and she rolled her eyes and repeated her words in broken Trigedasleng.

" _Whitetail native to the land. Smell the air."_ He spoke clearly, if not slower than usual.

Tentatively, she took a large breath through her nose and bit her lip. Stoically, he placed a callused hand over her eyes to obstruct her vision and repeated the command. Clarke took another breath and was rewarded with a combination of different scents.

" _Salt?"_

" _The sea."_

Clarke could not contain the small upturn of her lips. "We're close."

Coltrane nodded and for once, did not chide Clarke for speaking her native tongue. And though he did not smile his eyes were warm and filled with emotion. Clarke noticed his hand tremble slightly as he inspected the trail. Coltrane clasped his hand tightly and rose while Clarke followed soon after.

"So, why are we going to the sea again?" She attempted, curious as to his odd behavior. Much about her new companion was peculiar and unknown to her. She knew little of his normal behavior.

"The seventh clan of the Coalition; it is not one bred of warriors."

"I thought that was the basis of your clans" Clarke questioned.

Coltrane merely continued his trek. "All of the clans were separate and in conflict before Heda formed the Coalition. The Boat people are soft, ones that do not take sides if able and offer rest for those who are in need."

Clarke blinked, startled at the uncommon length of his dialogue. "So they're like Switzerland?"

Coltrane paused and looked at her for explanation. "In Earth history, there was a devastating war and a country, Switzerland, declared itself impartial." Although, the World War that Clarke had read about seemed small in comparison to the devastation of the world post nuclear eradication of all life on the planet. However, the life presently evident on Earth demonstrated the resilience of nature's ability to survive under extreme duress.

"No country cannot fight. You live or die."

Clarke smiled at the simplicity of his words. "It's not always that simple."

Coltrane stopped and looked at her. "It is that simple."

"They wanted to protect their people. In some ways they placated the enemy, and assisted those trying to escape persecution when able."

"They sound weak."

Clarke stopped mid step. "Sometimes, we do what we must, even if we don't agree, to save the lives of those that are closest to us."

"You would never show such weakness."

For a moment Clarke could not breath. She ignored the meaning behind Coltrane's words, because they were spoken in admiration as they fueled her own personal condemnation.

"No," she whispered. "I suppose not," she brushed his shoulder as she passed. "Instead I killed hundreds of innocent people to save forty four of my own. My strength astounds me." Her final words were callous and rigid.

An event that might have been prevented if Lexa had stayed. No, the choices in the past remained in the past. Then why did Lexa's face and her silhouette as she walked away burn in Clarke's memories?

* * *

They spoke little after that. The next few days were quiet. For once she felt the silence over bearing. The Trikru were a quiet group of people, and the Sky People were overly colloquial, needing to fill the silence with unnecessary words. Clarke found that she spoke less in her time amongst them and chose her words with more care as they carried more weight amongst the people, especially in times of war when one command meant life or death.

On the third day of their silence Clarke took down one of the deer with a bow and arrow supplied by Coltrane. She was startled at first at the accuracy and quickly slit the doe's throat to end her suffering.

Coltrane nodded his approval and helped her clean the kill. They worked in silence and while the animal was cooking on a meager fire, Clarke stared at the blood staining her hands. There was a small pool of water nearby that they had used to boil water and clean their tools. The blood caked around her nails and cuticles. Clarke began scrubbing the blood from her hands until another larger set stilled hers.

"Skai Prisa," Coltrane spoke softly. "Klark." When he said her name she stilled and gripped his hands. "Yu laik yuj."

The compassion in his voice was not lost on her. Defying his appearance, he gently began to clean her hands from her kill. Clarke watched his face and listened to his words as he spoke in accented English.

"You think that you are weak because you kill for your people. Live or die. You are right; it is not always simple. But to lead, means to make choices that no one can make except you."

He finished cleaning her hands and gripped them within his own once more.

"You ask what Skai Prisa means. You are Sky Prisa because you are Heda to your people and you show compassion for all life, even for the lives you take." He dropped her hands as his began to tremble and moved to leave.

"Hod op." She ordered with more authority than she felt.

He immediately stopped with his back turned and in that moment Clarke began to realize the power he believed the Skai Prisa held. Now if only she could prove her worth of the blind faith he seemed to bestow upon her. This strange man, who showed her the healing properties of the earth and taught her self-preservation.

" _Give me your hands."_ He hesitated and faced her. _"Show them to me!"_

Coltrane raised his bearded chin and faced her fearlessly. Clarke grasped his hands and gripped them tight in hers to cease the quivering. _"Are you ill?"_

" _I was."_ He admitted after a pause.

Realization dawned in Clarke's mind and she took a step away from him. "You were a Reaper." His silence affirmed her suspicions. The reason he was alone out here serving her made a nauseating sort of sense. "How did they cure you?"

"I remember little. Only that it was the Sky People who found a treatment. And you who defeated the Mountain Men that killed my family and made me feast on the flesh of my people. That is why I am here. Because Skai Prisa saved her people and I was spared. I should not have been for my crimes."

She stared at his face noting the inner turmoil. "You are my people." Clarke reiterated words spoken long ago and held out her forearm in offering. Coltrane griped her forearm in a firm hold. Such a gesture was disrespectful to one called to lead, but he would never dare to turn down such an honor.

"Mochof, Colt." He did not react to the shortened version of his name, but then again, she hardly expected him to.

* * *

"Chancellor."

Abby turned to see one of the men on patrol stalking towards her. She removed her medical gloves and turned to her assistant. "After you're done here, make sure you clean up and run those samples."

"Yes Chancellor," the young man nodded.

Abby disposed of her gloves and cleaned her hands. "Now, what's the problem this time?"

"It's the Grounder's Ma'am."

"Of course it is." Abby pinched the bridge of her nose. "What' wrong now?"

He straightened before relaying the events. "They're disrupting another salvage operation from Mount Weather."

"Damn," Abby knocked her fist against the wall. "Did you explain that we're trying to relay the power grid to our camp?"

"Yes Ma'am. They won't listen, they start speaking in gibberish."

"It's not gibberish," Octavia barked and strode through the hall angrily.

"Octavia wait," Bellamy tried grasping her arm.

"No Bellamy." Octavia faced Abby with anger and her hair swirled around her still sported braids reminiscent of the Trikru warriors.

"You've been putting out more and more guards at night when we're still in a truce with them."

"The truce is over Octavia," Abby raised her voice. "It ended when they left us at the entrance of Mount Weather."

"They left to save their people," Octavia argued. "They've done nothing but provide for us since we came back." She gestured wildly with her hands. "Food, medicine, and clothes."

"We don't know how long that will last." Abby pointed out frustrated at the repetitive argument over the last few months, especially from someone she considered a child.

"Winter is coming. We will need help, Chancellor." Bellamy added trying to appease both of them.

"Clarke would listen to me." Octavia clenched her jaw.

"Well, Clarke's not here. She left." Abby stated flatly despite the constriction in her chest reminding her that her only daughter was out in the world alone and vulnerable.

"She left for a reason." Octavia's nostrils flared.

"She killed hundreds of innocent lives!"

"And she saved even more!"

Abby stepped closer to Octavia and lowered her voice. "I'd thought you'd want her gone after Tondc. Or have you forgotten?"

"I have not forgotten." Octavia seethed baring her teeth. "But you're also her mother and a pretty shitty leader."

Abby's eyes widened at the audacity of her candor, but before she could retort Octavia turned on her heels and stormed down the main frame of the Ark.

Bellamy spared Abby a glance, and without a word went after his sister. His dismissal of her spoke volumes.

"What are your orders Chancellor?"

Abby sighed wishing Clarke were still with them as much as she did not want to admit such things. Clarke was her daughter and she missed her as much as she blamed her for all of their troubles. Clarke was the one who had held the alliance with the Grounders and their Commander. They had had few encounters with any of the Grounder leaders, and only a few of their lesser warriors since they returned to Camp Jaha.

Since the events of Mount Weather, the survivors of the Ark were doing just that. Surviving. Life at Camp Jaha was survived day by day. As the air turned warm and stifling, Abby knew in theory that the winters would bring harsh climate and scarce food sources. She felt the pressure to keep her people alive every day. She found herself disputing with Kane around a circular table from dawn to dusk until they did not know what they were arguing over.

Not for the first time, Abby missed Jake and longed for the days when they were orbiting the Earth. Survival was always the main focus on the Ark, and little had changed since landing on Earth, but expectations were different as were the opportunities. Life on the ground was complicated.

One war had ended, and Abby found herself trying to prevent another from unfolding, one from within.

* * *

"What the hell is wrong with you Octavia?"

Bellamy called after her as she stepped foot off the building. He shouldered his firearm and growled under his breath and cursed his sisters' stubborn behavior. Growing up under a floorboard certainly had not tamed her spirit.

"Don't cause a scene," he hissed. "Abby's doing what she can, I know she's not Clarke, but-"

"She's not doing anything at all. Clarke made some shitty decisions, but at least Clarke made them, Bellamy!" She rounded on her brother frustrated. She rambled curses in Trigedasleng that Bellamy could not follow.

He grabbed her shoulders to stop her rant. "Octavia stop!" She looked at him with her face coloring in anger. "We have to hold it together for Clarke."

She paused her tirade and calmed her features. "How do you know she'll come back?"

"Hey, now, have a little faith. Its Clarke, you had faith in her, once." Octavia scoffed at his placating tone.

"What if she doesn't come back though? We won't survive the winter without help from the Trikru. And they only trust Clarke. That's the only reason they still help us."

"Help, is a strong word don't you think?" Bellamy disputed.

Octavia rolled her eyes at his stupidity. "They've done more than tolerate our presence, and no one's dead. I'd say that's helping us."

"I'm surprised you'd still follow her." Bellamy searched her eyes for answers. He knew that Octavia was upset with Clarke for a number of things, but she was strangely silent on exactly why. "Some people don't want her back you know." He added testing her.

"Believe me, there will be words. A leader never abandons her people. Clarke shouldn't have left us in the first place." She said under breath and turned her back on her brother and seeing Lincoln walking towards them.

" _Octavia, what's wrong?"_ Lincoln asked his lover as she approached stomping her feet angrily. Lincoln tried to suppress his amusement at the common sight of a Blake sibling disagreement.

" _Oh, nothing, just my brother being an idiot…again."_ Octavia said as she passed stroking the side of his face.

Lincoln held her hand against his cheek for a moment, his chest swelling at the rush of emotions Octavia's touch elicited. Octavia continued to surprise him with her bravery and strength of heart; she was proving to be a blend of both of their cultures. She took to the warrior's life readily, but displayed small tokens of affection in action as well as words that differed from his culture.

"I know you're talking about me!" Bellamy shouted after her as Octavia returned to her guard post and spoke to one of the Grounders that had brought the newest supply of materials to camp; the same one that had informed her of the Skaikru's latest attempt at salvaging technology from Mount Weather.

"Let her temper settle." Lincoln commented placing a hand on Bellamy's shoulder.

Bellamy brushed Lincoln's hand away and closed the space between them. "Just because you're sleeping with my sister, doesn't mean we're friends."

Lincoln watched Bellamy stalk away clenching his jaw. No, the relationship he had with Octavia did not make them friends. It made them family.

* * *

Traveling with another person had advantages as well as fallbacks. Coltrane was instrumental with survival skills, but he would not leave her alone for five minutes. Her cheeks colored when she recalled explaining why she needed privacy to take care of bodily functions, especially when they were conversing in a combination of broken English and Trigedasleng.

Overall, his assistance was indispensable. Clarke knew she was a survivor; nevertheless, he was a skilled survivalist. The isolation gave her time to think and come to terms with her actions, but having him near made her realize she was also somewhat lonely. However, Coltrane was by no means an over eager conversationalist, despite the intimate conversation they had shared two days ago. Perhaps, eager was not the way to describe their conversations. They spoke out of necessity, and relaying information. Coltrane conversed in his native tongue more often than not, which left Clarke to decipher the meaning of various dialogue. He was beyond patient with her, most of the time.

Except for this moment, in which Clarke wanted him to explain himself in a manner she could actually understand.

"I am going to tell you one more time. I don't know what you're saying." Clarke sighed and was beyond caring if she sounded like a child.

She trailed after Coltrane trudging dirt in retaliation. As her gaze turned upwards she stopped suddenly nearly running into his outstretched arm. He grasped the brow of her shirt none too gently and pulled her besides him under the veil of vegetation. Her brows furrowed and she stared at his pinched and calculating expression.

"Hod op."

"What's wrong?" she asked her voice nearly a whisper. Clarke rested a hand on the man holding her still. His face turned to look beyond and he shot back quicker still and dragged her down until Clarke found herself kneeling uncomfortably in the dirt.

"Colt!" she gasped louder than intended.

"Shop of!" he whispered harshly.

Clarke silenced immediately sensing the urgency in his tone. Frenzied voices came in the form of grunts and she could distinguish at least two male and the outraged cry of a female. They spoke in crude Trigedasleng with an unfamiliar dialect. Straining her neck, Clarke peered behind the bark and Coltrane's large form.

There were three of them, two males, and one female all surrounding a younger girl. The strangers looked like Trigedakru, except they had different colored pelts. Their hair was thick and hung in long braids down their back, while the girl they circled wore familiar braids in her red hued hair. The young girl was obviously frightened and trying desperately to hide her tears as one of the males kicked her side. Clarke was unable to decipher his words as tears streamed down the girls cheeks.

The female unsheathed a formidable sword from her side and pointed it menacingly. The girl edged away from the weapon only to lift her chin defiantly. The bravado was lost in the face of her quivering lips and stifled sobs. The female spoke and lifted the blade as if to strike. The girl yelled in response and the blade came down and severed a thick lock of her red brown hair.

"Klark." It was difficult to tear her eyes away from the young girl. She was a child, much like Anya's second had been. Another life she had not been able to save despite her efforts. "Do not do anything stupid Skai girl."

He knew her too well in such a short time.

In an instant, Clarke rose from their location and threw her dagger at one of the larger men. There was no way she could hit the female from this angle. Her aim was off, but she was lucky enough to provide a deep cut to the thigh and serve as a distraction. The three warriors disregarded the girl and Clarke came at them as if possessed, drawing a small sword the size of her forearm that Coltrane had given her on loan. There was no yell, no warrior cry, other than the sound of Clarke's feet tearing across the earth.

Behind her, Coltrane released an arrow, which missed the female now coming at her, and plunged in a tree nearly hitting her own shoulder. A second arrow found purchase neatly in the neck of the other man. He went down on his knees clutching his throat as thick red blood spurt from the wound.

The female warrior had short sandy blonde hair and pale blue eyes, a combination Clarke had yet to see among the Trigedakru. The female said something in her foreign dialect and barely avoided the swipe aimed for her jugular. Clarke was not so lucky, and a blow sliced neatly across her abdomen. There was a hiss of pain, but the physical wound made her feel more alive and fueled her adrenaline.

Baring her teeth, Clarke viciously knocked another attack away and lunged at the pale-eyed female. They tumbled to the earth and lost their weapons in the process. Clarke was nearly knocked unconscious by a fist to the temple. Her elbow retaliated and broke her opponents nasal cavity with a satisfying crunch. A rush of blood and a cry of pain followed as the warrior clutched her nose and rolled to the side. Clarke rose and grasped her sword. She tossed her opponents weapon to Coltrane who nodded catching it easily.

Before Mount Weather, Clarke knew she would have let this person live. No, that was a lie. She was not a liar. The girl who landed on Earth, the prisoner, would have let this person live. Clarke, the leader, survivalist, and the warrior who had decimated 300 Trikru warriors and abolished the Mountain Men, rescued her people, and sacrificed so much to keep her friends and family alive…would order her dead.

Clarke, unknowingly, took one step closer to becoming the passionate leader Lexa proudly declared her to embody. A leader that asked few questions, delivered justice as seen fit, made decisions with her head, but was lead by her heart and the love she had for human life, the weak and the innocent, and her people.

 _You could be a leader your people look to. Pour their hopes and dreams into. Someone they will fight and die for._

The female on the ground stared at Clarke with fury and spat blood. "Trikru!" She spluttered angrily.

Clarke looked at her calmly and thrust her blade into the women's abdomen. "No, Klark kom Skaikru." Sky blue eyes seared into Clarke's until the warrior's body went limp in death. Clarke retracted her weapon. "Yu gonplei ste odon."

Coltrane presented her knife from her initial attack and Clarke took it with thanks. "The other escaped. We should leave. There may be others."

Clarke nodded approving of his suggestion. She cleaned the knife on the ground, because it was Lexa's knife first and foremost, and saw the girl she had just saved watch her in confusion, admiration, and profound curiosity.

Clarke offered a hand to assist her from the ground. _"You're safe now. My name is Clarke."_

* * *

AN: I do not own the CW's _The 100._ I apologize for the delay. I have had this written, I was just late in editing. The next chapter is written, but I will not edit it until the following chapter is finished, just so I give myself some wiggle room in case I want to change things. I am trying my best to curb my editing urges to the best of my ability. Please review. I really appreciate constructive criticism. I have a dream, and that dream is to get over 100 reviews for this story. Please help my dream become a reality, and then go adopt a dog, bring about world peace, or something...

 _Translations_

Chon ste der- who is there

Mochof- thank you

Ai laik Klark kom Skaikru – I am Clark of the Sky People

Skai prisa – sky princess

Ai badan yu op en nou moun – I serve you and no other

Yu laik yuj- You are strong

Hod op- wait

Shop of – quiet

Jus drein jus daun- blood must have blood

Floudonkru – Boat people

Your fight is not over - Yu gonplei ste nou odon


	3. Chapter 3

_Trigedasleng_

* * *

Clarke jolted awake from her curled position on the ground. It was still dark, but she waited a few moments before moving. There were no immediate threats and she was safe. She often awoke from night terrors, but at least the memory of her dream was forgotten. The sounds of the forest were soothing and she listened a few heartbeats before exhaling and taking air into her lungs. Tired eyes opened fully and she pressed up to face the small lingering fire.

It came as no surprise that Coltrane was still awake; he was a constant vigilant in the night, and Clarke felt safe with him keeping watch. She trusted him. He became familiar with her sleeping habits and anxieties within a few days after traveling together. He was very perceptive and Clarke almost took comfort in the Trikru warrior knowing some of her secrets.

Their newest addition, Rebekah, was curled asleep a few feet away without a care. Clarke was amazed at how well she slept after a near death experience let alone in the presence of two strangers.

"Do you ever sleep?" She turned to Coltrane stifling a yawn.

"Do you?" he retorted digging his bow in the dirt.

Her cheeks burned in embarrassment. In a moment of honesty she met his eyes and dared him to mock her.

"I don't like what I see."

"I see the dead of my family as I kill them in madness."

She expected disregard, perhaps mild disdain, but vulnerability was unanticipated. His eyes turned down and gazed into the swirling flames.

"I remember how their flesh tasted." Clarke dared not breath, worried that he would cease this revelation if she drew air into unsteady lungs. "I remember all that I did. It burns inside," he said as he thrust a fist against his left breast. "In here, it burns, remembering."

"I," Clarke licked her lips. What could she possibly say to this man? That she understood his pain? Clarke understood the horror of killing innocent lives, and even killing loved ones. But there was still a choice, always a choice, even if she felt like there was no alternative.

"Thank you," she said humbly. His gaze was silent and unmoving. "For your trust," Clarke clarified.

Coltrane stared at her for a long while, but Clarke felt at ease under the gaze. "Your people are right to follow you."

The compliment was startling and it reminded her so much of Lexa that her next breathe came in a small gasp. "They have a Chancellor to lead them now that the Mountain Men are gone."

It was subtle but his face changed. There was no visible sign, but the slight shift in his eyes told her there was something he knew as she spoke about her people. Perhaps, she was getting better at understanding the Trigedakru.

 _You are my people._

Her next words were chosen with care and unassuming. "You know something. You know something about my people since I've been away." She sighed and somehow knew that if it were truly important he would tell her. It came back to the notion of trust. The Trigedakru were also a people of simple means.

She tried another tactic. "They are well." It was a statement and not a question.

"They live." Clarke nodded unsurprised but pleased to hear him voice it nonetheless. "They will not survive the winter" he added.

"Why do you say that?"

She stomped down the urge to fire question after question. The need to solve a potential problem was strong. The urge hit suddenly and she was surprised at how much she cared. Or rather not so much that she cared, Clarke always cared about her friends and family, but the need to take action had been absent since pulling the lever at Mount Weather. She had done her duty; her fight was over. It was an odd discovery to find that she almost wanted to revisit her role as leader.

"They hunt little, and bicker."

"They'll learn." She said with confidence.

Her people were survivors, but she also knew they were self-assured, foolish, and stubborn to a fault. The Ark was full of people who knew one life style. They had descended to earth where they were immediately threatened by the indigenous peoples. They did not understand, and they did not want to look into why they had enemies, just that they needed get rid of them. Clarke did that for them. She made most of the decisions that kept them alive on the ground no matter the cost to her.

 _You couldn't save your father._

"They survive because of the Trigedakru."

"The Trigedakru are helping my people?" At his nod the questions grew.

Just how exactly were the Trigedakru helping her people and why? The truce ended at Mount Weather. All this time Clarke truly believed that the Trigedakru would at least leave the people of the Ark alone. Almost like a sort of distant and uninvolved neighbor. It made sense, considering all they had been through together. The Commander made promises. Yes, she broke the most valued truce in a time of need, but Lexa was not vindictive. She answered injustice with justice and sacrificed everything and anyone in her path for the safety of her people. It seemed illogical that the Trigedakru would attack or give out charity without a reason, without something to gain.

"How are the Trigedakru helping them?"

He was silent as he looked at her. "Trade, food, supplies."

"Why?"

"They do as Heda commands." Before she could inquire further, Coltrane's gaze shifted and Clarke saw Rebekah awake and listening.

Her eyes showed no evidence of slumber despite her fetal position. "Can't sleep?"

Rebekah's brown eyes shifted to Clarke as she sat up looking between them. "No." Her voice was soft spoken compared to most Trigedakru. Then again, most of the ones she knew were warriors.

"Looks like we're all staying up the rest of the night."

As an after thought, Clarke reached out and tucked a small strand of hair behind Rebekah's ear. Clarke paused awkwardly for a moment before pulling away. Rebekah appeared close to Charlotte's age. She expected the girl to shy away or show some form of displeasure, instead there was curiosity. A culture of bred warriors and Clarke found one of the few who needed her to save them. It was almost amusing. Saving lives, even if she killed to do it, felt good.

Clarke settled back against a tree, content to sit and simply breath earth's oxygen. It smelled so different from the oxygen the Ark had created in space.

" _What are you doing?"_ Clarke opened her eyes at Rebekah's question. _"Do you smell something?"_

" _Yes."_ She took a large breath. " _I smell life. My people came from the Sky."_ Rebekah hung on her every word, and even Coltrane listened closely. _"Up there,"_ she pointed to the night sky, _"there is no air. We made our own."_

" _You can make air?"_ Rebekah asked her eyes wide and disbelieving.

" _We had to, to survive. We had no trees, or soil. But it is better here. Down here, life creates life. Up there,_ machines _do it for us."_

Rebekah said something to Coltrane and he nodded. Just when Clarke was beginning to believe her Trigedasleng was improving she was blown away at the speed and how the words slurred together making speech difficult to decipher.

" _You fought well. My father will feed you fish upon our return."_

"Mochof." Clarke smiled at the change in conversation and nodded in acknowledgement.

Coltrane pulled a dagger from his sheath and Rebekah's hand began to pull at Clarke's torn and dirty shirt. Clarke shrugged away instinctively aware of how filthy she was. She could practically smell herself. A brush would surely forfeit against her matted hair. Rebekah remained undeterred and awkwardly Clarke found herself helping the girl strip her tops until she was in her bra, another of her garments that had seen better days. Her breasts did a poor job filling the cups demonstrating the amount of weight lost in the time since crashing to Earth.

Clarke glared daggers at Coltrane daring him to comment at her nakedness, but he remained stoic and was respectfully gazing over her shoulder.

"Can I ask why I'm half naked?"

" _It is custom, after a battle to have a chosen mark the skin of the warrior with the number of their kills in battle."_

The translated words repeated in her mind. Kills in battle. Her muscles tensed and she felt herself shut down and recede further into herself as if the last few weeks had never occurred. That was correct, she realized. She was a killer. She destroyed, murdered, and she was good at it.

 _Their blood is on your hands. And, even if we win, I'm afraid you won't be able to wash it off this time._

" _Will you honor me?"_ Rebekah clasped the dagger Lexa had given to her. The very same one Lexa had twirled in her fingers as she sat upon her throne meeting for the first time the warrior from the sky who burned three hundred of her warriors alive.

Clarke shook her head, "no." Rebekah stilled suddenly. Her jaw tensed and her eyes were downcast as if she had suffered a great blow. Clarke quickly realized her mistake and reached out to place her hand over the girl holding Lexa's dagger.

"Killing is not something I'm proud of." Her eyes were clear and resolute.

"You protected me. You are brave and honorable."

"There would not be enough skin to mark all of the lives I have taken." Clarke said earnestly begging Rebekah to understand that for her this was not an honor but a mark of shame.

"They chose their fate when they set to kill you and your people."

Clarke turned her head sharply to Coltrane and swallowed thickly at the intensity of his gaze.

 _You're the one who sent them there to kill us._

Her own words echoed in her mind. The combination of Coltrane's prideful chin lift and the eagerness of Rebekah's movements strengthened her resolve. Her spine became erect and her eyes clear.

 _Maybe there are no good guys._

"Heat the blade in the fire, I'd rather not die of an infection."

The muscles of her back quivered at each lick of the knife against her skin. Clarke thought it fitting that Lexa's gift was the one inflicting such a soothing pain against her flesh. When one mark was expertly carved into her pale flesh, she stilled the hand holding the knife and looked into the brown-eyed girl and told her how many additional lives needed to be accounted for in her flesh. The gaze staring back at her was addled with questions, but Rebekah held herself from imploring further. Clarke appreciated the gesture, and turned her back once again.

The blood dripped down her back in small drops and soaked into the earth. Each press of the blade felt reassuring. On the ground, to have something worth living for also meant being willing to kill to preserve it. Clarke reminded herself of each and every person, even the ones without faces. Life was precious.

An unnamed and faceless Grounder when they first landed lost and afraid on Earth.

Atom burned by acid fog, scared and suffering.

Three hundred Trigedakru warriors burned to dust.

Finn, who was desperate and lost.

Nearly two hundred and fifty unaware lives bombed in Tondc.

The sniper foolish enough to confirm the missile launch that buried her people and allies; the one she killed as he held Lincoln captive. A death she sought with vengeance that did little to soothe her guilt.

Dante Wallace, who was trying to protect his people until the end.

Three hundred and fifty residents of Mount Weather.

An unknown female warrior with fair features.

The blood continued to pour from her flesh and she shivered. Jus drein jus daun.

* * *

"You remember what to say?"

"Do you really think I'll make that bad of a first impression?" she drawled stepping over a rotting log.

Rebekah stopped and looked back. Clarke nearly rolled her eyes. It was easy to forget how easily the Trigedakru literally interpreted words.

" _You are an exceptional teacher. I am prepared. You have my gratitude. "_ The formality of the words appeased the young girl.

If Rebekah knew the first words she had spoken to Lexa, Clarke feared the girl might suffer a heart attack. Lexa was the Commander of the twelve clans. This meant that Clarke had a least a decent chance at surviving a meeting with a clan leader. She wanted to appease the leader of the Floudonkru. It was nearing a month and a half since she had been around more than a handful of people. The Trigedakru were a culture that Clarke could not avoid, not if she wanted to do more than just survive. It also gave her another excuse to delay the long trek back home. No, not home. Home had been the Ark orbiting the Earth. Camp Jaha, was not her home. Clarke did not have a home. There was no place she felt welcome or worthy enough to assign the title to. If anything, home was Earth. Because of the many fantasies she had (it was her father's fault for supplying her with an avid imagination and daydreams) home was a feeling, an emotion that centered on unconditional love, acceptance and belonging. Clarke felt bereft of these important factors, although she knew she had not given herself or others an apt opportunity to provide them.

The graceful footsteps of Coltrane and the unheeding stomps of Rebekah brought a smile to her lips. An army of Trigedakru and now she had two as personal companions. Life had certainly taken an interesting turn. It was difficult to imagine that she used to orbit the Earth and dream of what lay below in the blue and greens she could see from the Ark. Clarke spent hours drawing possible landscapes in her cell. She drew the trees, with the moon hanging above twinkling with stars and wished that radiation had not destroyed all the life on Earth. To her surprise, the world was even more beautiful than her imagination could comprehend. Between the colors, smells and sounds, Clarke was lost and deeply infatuated by this new world.

Clarke rolled her shoulders, feeling the soreness in her muscles and the wounds healing on her back. The moss helped keep the newly forming scars clean, but the pain was more than she expected. It was a small blessing that Rebekah and Coltrane had devised a way to account for her kills in battle with symbolic numbers rather than make hundreds of cuts against her body. These lives would never be forgotten and were now imbedded permanently into her flesh, as they were her soul. They were now a part of her, each and every life. The thought soothed her. Her sins carved on her flesh were a comforting brand, stripping her bare to the world. Clarke no longer felt the need for forgiveness. The sentiment was liberating. Her heart felt lighter and her steps truer than the day before. The past was in the past, and her actions could not be undone. Living, and honoring the fallen was the least she could do to respect the dead. Bellamy would be proud of her.

 _The dead are gone, Clarke. The living are hungry._

" _Are you well?"_

Clarke grazed her fingers against Rebekah's brow in passing, conveying assurance without words. Words were wasted amongst the people of the Ark. The Trigedakru valued actions, small tokens of affection in gestures seemingly unimportant to others. Clarke found that she preferred the sentiment of touch more than empty verses. Words often meant nothing. She thought of before. Of promises and soft lips.

A promise of alliance shattered by the act of abandonment; the vision of eyes that had looked at her in such longing the day before and the way it felt to have them devoid of that emotion and warmth.

"So, explain this to me again." Clarke pushed the memories aside and began brushing sweat from her brow. "Luna is the Captain of the boat people. And I address her as Captain?"

"Yes, but technically she is the shore captain of the boat people."

"Why the shore captain if your people use boats?"

Rebekah wrinkled her nose at the inquiry and a youthful expression of annoyance overtook her face. It was barley perceptible, but there nonetheless despite her austere upbringing. Clarke suppressed the smile threatening her lips.

"Because the Seakru have a captain."

"The Master of the Vessels." Coltrane confirmed and Clarke looked at him.

"This is more than confusing," she grumbled to herself as they continued on.

The warning came in the form of an arrow imbedding itself to the thick bark of a tree next to her head. Clarke reacted and drew her own weapon and fired a responding arrow before ducking behind the same tree. She sensed Coltrane form a defensive position. Clarke futilely reached for Rebekah as the girl called out to their attackers. Clarke cursed the girl's naivety as she ignored Clarke's calls to stay near and get down.

She counted to three in her head and ran after the girl with the red hued hair. Coltrane was on her heals following foolishly. The poor man was likely cursing the both of them.

Rebekah called out and a clipped voice returned the call. Five Trigedakru emerged from the trees, one woman and four men all dressed in loose but fitted tan, green and white clothing that oddly fit the changing environment. Clarke and Coltrane stayed alert without yielding their defensive stances despite the familiar way Rebekah was addressing the newcomers. They were obviously her people, but the hostility that the leader was showing Rebekah made Clarke twitchy. It was similar to that of an adult berating a child. Based on her glazed eyes, Rebekah was holding back tears.

The other warriors were gazing at Coltrane and Clarke impassively. She was fairly sure she caught a few discourteous comments aimed at her current state. Clarke had no doubt that if she saw a mirror her appearance would be atrocious. Coltrane tightened his grip on his weapon and was seconds away from bloodshed before Clarke practically ordered him to stand down with a hand to his wrist and a sharp verbal command.

Rebekah turned at their voices.

" _This is Klark of the Sky People. The Sky Princess who demolished the Men under the Mountain."_

To her credit, Clarke, stood tall during the introduction and refused to shift under their abrupt penetrating stares. The male who had insulted her appearance the moment before dropped to a knee with his head bowed declaring his unworthiness in phrases she could not fully decipher. Coltrane raised his chin mildly appeased at the gesture. The others refused to look her in the eye, while nodding their heads in respect.

The presumed leader of the small ensemble stepped forward putting a hand to Rebekah's shoulder in passing. "Ai laik Argentine kom Floudonkru." He addressed her formally and began speaking in accented English. "It is an honor to welcome the Skai Prisa. With your approval, I offer you deep thanks for escorting her home and I will lead you to the Captain." He gestured a hand over his chest abruptly.

It seemed awkward to make introductions at this point. The words were spoken with finality, as if he was already given such orders. _"It was a privilege to lead her to the_ _Boat People."_ If he was surprised at her reply in Trigedasleng he did not show it.

Argentine nodded and turned walking away obviously expecting them to follow. Clarke hesitated seeing everyone start, except for the one warrior still kneeling at her feet. Clarke assumed there was some formal protocol she was missing.

"Um, Rebekah."

The girl stopped by Argentine's side at Clarke's call. Clarke gestured to the warrior and she stared for a moment until Clarke gave her a pointed look. Rebekah considered the warrior with indifference.

"He will not get up unless you tell him to. Or you kill him for the insult. " Rebekah stated plainly.

Clarke furrowed her brows in confusion but did not ask further. There was some form of custom she was unaware and somehow the Floudonkru knew her, or of her. She supposed it was unavoidable. Clarke was the leader of a rival clan at one point; one that had formed a tentative alliance with to defeat a common enemy. An enemy that she defeated, more like destroyed, without their aid.

Clarke turned to the warrior with a hand on her knife and nodded. "Yu gonplei ste nou odon." Her accent was fair at best, but he appeared to understand well enough. He rose within the next moment but still did not raise his eyes.

Clarke waited a beat before following the small band. She released a breath when the warrior came in step a pace behind her. More and more, Clarke was beginning to realize how lucky she was to have survived this long amongst the Trigedakru. It appeared there were a million ways to cause someone insult. Clarke decided that she was lucky to have her limbs, but it was not without the protection of a few key members of the Trigedakru. The knife at her belt was heavy at her hip.

 _I do care Clarke._

No matter how she tried to forget, those words followed her and so did the face of the one that spoke them.

* * *

AN: I apologize for getting this out late. I had a difficult time editing because I honestly do not feel confidant in this chapter. I am currently writing the fifth chapter. It looks like a Clexa reunion will be in the sixth chapter for sure. Please review with suggestions or comments; it really helps inspire me. I'm currently on my lunch break at work. haha

* * *

Chon ste der- who is there

Mochof- thank you

Ai laik Klark kom Skaikru – I am Clark of the Sky People

Skai prisa – sky princess

Ai badan yu op en nou moun – I serve you and no other

Yu laik yuj- You are strong

Hod op- wait

Shop of – quiet

Jus drein jus daun- blood must have blood

Floudonkru – Boat people

Your fight is not over - Yu gonplei ste nou odon


	4. Chapter 4

_Trigedasleng_

* * *

The leader of the Floudonkru was unlike any other member of the Trigedakru Clarke had encountered.

Luna was a white haired female with pale blue grey eyes and a shrewd but somewhat vacant stare. Her demeanor was almost eccentric, yet she was warm and more than welcoming. Upon arriving with their guarded escort, Luna smiled pleasantly; an act Clarke saw few of the Trigedakru implement when meeting an outsider, as they were a cautious people by nature.

"Welcome Klark kom Skaikru. We have been expecting you. The Floudonkru will celebrate the arrival of the legendary Skai Prisa."

What did that even mean? We have been expecting you? Clarke was befuddled from the moment she met Luna, from the first introduction insisting Clarke call her by her given name.

Clarke was given attendants, lodging, food and clothing more luxurious than she felt comfortable accepting. She was spoken to as she imagined a respected visiting delegate might have in the old world. She sat in on political affairs and was given the opportunity to voice thoughts and opinions on everyday occurrences and legal proceedings. It felt oddly as if she was being educated, tested and trained at the same instance.

The city of Leston was just as…unique…as it's chief.

Clarke had seen very few older Trigedakru. Elders were respected on the Ark, as life expectancy was typically sixty-five years due to limited available resources and medical supplies. If your grandfather was ill, it was simply his time to pass on. The younger generation was considered priority to ensure the lineage of the human race. Clarke's own grandparents had passed from sepsis, and heart failure. It made sense that such an ascetic lifestyle on the ground would also lead to shorter lifespans. At least she assumed so until she found herself among the Floudonkru in the city of Leston, or rather dotingly referred to as The Holy City.

The longer she walked along the broken cobblestone pathways, the more she agreed with the city's nickname. There was something magical about the modest buildings that were renovated from the original design nearly a century ago. The capital halls were located in an old church, one of the few pristine buildings remaining in the entire city. Many of the structures surrounding the city were rebuilt, or renovated in some fashion. The spire was tall and glinted in the sun, and Clarke imagined the many forms of architecture from before the nuclear bombs. Inside, the church was modest, clean, and clearly well taken care of by the people. However, she noted a few nearby buildings that she would rather not test the structural integrity of.

The Floudonkru, like their leader, were varied and eccentric. Clarke was all at once ignored, revered, and feared. There were those that paid her no mind and bumped into her casually with a grunt without apology, just as there were those that would never meet her eyes. When she saw fear and apprehension, a cold numb feeling settled within her breast and she was once again reminded of who and what she was.

Clarke felt the freest when she was ignored and seen as just another body within the crowd. She could have been a wife, a mother, or an aspiring apprentice. In those instances, she imagined she was someone, anyone else.

Perhaps, the most confounding occurrences were the times in which she was greeted with such warmth and love that it left her aimless. One moment, Clarke was walking the streets with Luna listening to her explain a significant landmark or function of the city, and the next a child would bring her a wreath made of flowers and shyly crown her while the mother stood by bowing her head. In extreme cases, she was given gifts and pledges of fealty and thanks for slaying the much-hated enemy of their people.

It was…a constant whirlwind of emotional turmoil. Yet, all of these eyes were not those of her friends, or the ones that she had killed or abandoned her. This place and its people were new and she immersed herself within the days pleasantly learning and exploring customs foreign to her with a heartfelt embrace.

Most of all, Clarke enjoyed the humid air, the smell of the sea, and the abundant thundershowers. She was sure Coltrane was beyond exhausted with her change in attitude and joyful exuberance to bask in the rain at every instance. Eventually, he ceased following her into the small storms and left her to stand stupidly amongst the pouring rain while he observed from a much drier location.

Coltrane, or Colt as she affectionately called him, was her constant shadow. He quickly became one of her most trusted friends. He spoke more as they spent time together, but with each shared experience Clarke felt his devotion and reciprocated in turn. It was odd, once she realized how she felt for him. He was like family to her, almost as a beloved uncle or brother, or she assumed if the Ark had permitted such things.

She learned more about his past as they spent time with other members of the Floudonkru weaving nets for capturing fish or as she asked questions about customs and required insight into something Luna had said. He had a wife once, as beautiful as the stars and full of spirit that could only be tamed by one man. Clarke knew of the way she loved to run, of how melodious her voice was. His descriptions were so vivid that Clarke almost felt that she could see her running amongst the trees with teasing bright eyes and raven hair.

At first, she assumed his respect for her was born of relief and self-hatred. Clarke had indirectly freed him of his personal hell and single handedly killed those that had turned him into a monster that feasted on the flesh of his kin. She soon realized his sorrow ran deeper.

In the back of her mind, Clarke knew Coltrane's wife was dead. The reason he stayed with her was out of duty and debt. One that Clarke felt she did not deserve after she learned from Luna that Coltrane's wife was one of the many Trikru captured and sacrificed to treat the radiation poisoning the Mountain Men suffered. Coltrane and his wife were captured together, whereas she was drained of her life force, Coltrane was transformed into a Reaper. Coltrane's wife was a prime specimen. She was young, healthy, female, and above all in the early stages of pregnancy.

In a moment of fury, Clarke immersed herself further amongst the Floudonkru wanting to distance herself as much from the monsters under the mountain. Her guilt at killing innocents was always present, but there were days where she was almost glad her and Bellamy had pulled that lever and cleansed the mountain of sin.

Amongst the Floudonkru, the Skaikru were known and feared because of their similarities to the technologically savvy Mountain Men. Yes, Clarke was Skai Prisa, but her people were not limited to those born of the Ark. Pulling that lever on Mount Weather had cemented a bond with the same people that demanded retribution for Finn's massacre of eighteen villagers. Life had an interesting way of weaving the thread of lives together irrevocably. She wondered once again how every encounter and relationship was meant to bring each person closer to the person they were destined to be.

Leston was a large city, grand to Clarke's eyes, but also humble in appearance. It boasted nearly 20,000 lives dispersed along the coast and farther inland and after a week, she had yet to see every inch.

Clarke cut her hair. Or rather she had a very pretty mother of five run her hands through her hair clucking one day her tongue in distaste in passing. Clarke found herself ushered inside the woman's home with her sons and daughters of various ages excited and momentarily struck by the presence of the legendary Skai Prisa in their humble home.

Clarke was given a fruity drink and sat pleasantly with a small boy of three years in her lap as the matron took a knife, and a pair of scissors and butchered her hair. She was initially alarmed at the amount of hair sheared and eventually pooled around her in a halo of golden strands. As much as she was startled during the process, Coltrane was stiff watching with rapt attention as the sharp objects neared her face. The only thing that stilled him was a small girl braiding his beard. Clarke's eyes shined with glee at the sight and also sobered with the realization that he would make a very good father and husband and would have been if men like Cage and Dante had not existed.

In the end, Clarke was very pleased with the style of her new appearance. One side of he hair was shorn to the middle of her neck in waves with a few longer strands of tangled braids while the other side matured in length just past her shoulder towards the front. Clarke felt beautiful, wild and fierce. The few braids in her hair were placed well and significantly. Her hair had never been styled in so many varied asymmetrical lengths, but the ends were healthy and fell in soft waves that she could not resist running her hands through. And as she left, bestowing a warm hug to the very surprised Floudonkru female and accepting a crown of flowers to her hair from the children with promises to return for a visit, Clarke felt every inch of the Skai Prisa, radiant and strong with sandal covered feet, wild hair, layered shorts that hugged her thighs but waves around them reminiscent of a dress, and a cropped halter top. Her attire was simple. She felt simple.

At sunset, Clarke sat on the beaches with Coltrane, Rebekah, and at times members of her grateful family and watched the sun disappear behind the glittering ocean. She told them in Trigedasleng (that was becoming easier for her to speak each day) how the sun looked from space and how the planets rotated around one another.

Her knees were covered in coarse sand as she knelt behind a startled Coltrane as she began to thread her fingers through his hair. Rebekah had long since returned to her family. She was one of three siblings, consisting of two brothers, one older and younger, and her parents were prone to worry since her recent assault outside of the village.

The Trigedasleng did nothing without meaning, including the intricacies of braiding ones hair. The way a person styled their braids signified status, personality, and position within the clan. It was also a very intimate act to braid another's hair and thus only performed by family members, bonded pairs, and by means to show fidelity or respect as Clarke assumed was the reason behind the woman's care with her hair earlier that very same day. It also conveyed trust and love.

While their relationship was not romantic it was familial and lacked no form of trust. She combed his thick hair through her fingers untangling the strands in slow even strokes and began a style suitable for a man who had suffered, endured and was still able to love.

" _Lena, smiles down at you with great pride."_ His former wife's name flowed from her lips. _"You have honored me in many ways, and I would be pleased to name you friend and family."_ She stated evenly soothing his tense shoulders with her words and touch. _"I trust you, brother."_

Trust was difficult and all too easy for Clarke. She was careful to trust too deeply, it was something that had to be earned, and Coltrane had earned it, just as Bellamy had. He was alone in the world, and she desperately wanted to be his pillar of strength. She wanted to be more than Clarke, she wanted to be Skai Prisa if only to uphold the way his eyes shone brilliantly when he looked at her.

Coltrane protected her and had since shielded her from harm and lifted her at her worst. He deserved more from her than she was able to give, but her love and trust was one of the few things of value she had.

"Ai badan yu op en nou moun, Skai Prisa…Klark." Her hands stilled momentarily at words spoken to her weeks ago under different circumstances. She had never once heard him speak her name.

Clarke took a deep breath and completed his braids with a playful tug. Rather than admire her handy work, she sat next to him in the cooling sand. In a moment of childishness, she tucked herself under his arm and rested her head against his chest. He stiffened momentarily, but she felt him sigh further into the embrace.

"I think I'm beginning to understand what that means."

* * *

" _Good morning_ Skai Prisa." India smiled cleaning her hands. Clarke smiled in return and picked up the woman's toddler from hugging her legs.

" _Is Rebekah ready?"_ The young Floudonkru was apprenticing under Clarke for healing.

There were three healers in the city of Leston, one of which was fairly skilled. Clarke worked with him a few days a week learning his trade and imparting her own knowledge. Rebekah was one of the apprentices under him and had been out in the woods alone searching for a plant to make a poultice against direct orders when she was attacked. Initially, Clarke was worried that the young Trigedakru was going to be punished. The head healer, Luka, was irate, and so were Rebekah's family. Clarke saw the anger for what it was, worry; however, she also knew that punishment for obeying direct orders and going against the law was very similar to the Ark. To her surprise, Luna devised a punishment that fitted the rebellious teenager of 13 years; a punishment that had her following Clarke around like a shadow assisting and catering to her every need. Basically, Rebekah became Clarke's personal assistant and guide.

This revelation opened Clarke's eyes to the Trigedakru in a new way. What she thought was a strict society with harsh punishments, was very different.

" _There are twelve clans within the Coalition,"_ Luna explained one day to which Clarke nodded in understanding. _"Each clan governs independently with its own leader and laws."_

" _So then, how does Lexa fit into it?"_ Luna ignored Clarke's informal reference to the Heda.

" _She is the one who formed the Coalition. It is why so many respect and fear her wrath. Most of the clans were at war and many considered her ambition to align them foolish. All clan members are susceptible to punishment under the one they hale from. If there is a between clan dispute, Heda passes the final judgment."_

" _But what about the Ice Nation? They attacked one of your own."_ Clarke disputed referring to the attack on Rebekah.

Luna shook her head. _"It cannot be confirmed whether or not they were members of the clan."_

" _But they had the emblem,"_ Clarke refuted. _"Coltrane said that-"_

" _We must pick our battles Klark, especially as leaders. You know this. To bring this accusation against the Ice Nation would be foolish. Have you seen our people Klark?"_ Luna asked referring to the Floudonkru. Clarke furrowed her brow. _"They are bred warriors, except in here."_ Luna rested her hand against her own heart. _"They do not wish to fight, anymore than I do. We are weaker than the Woods People."_

Clarke linked her hand with the older woman's. _"I will take your word for it, but I've seen the strength of spirit in your people. The Boat People are very strong."_

Rebekah clambered through the door announcing her presence and shaking Clarke from her musings. India retrieved her son from Clarke's arms and greeted her husband as he entered behind Rebekah. Clarke respected the head of the Rebekah's family. He was tall and muscular, with deep brown hair holding a glint of red, tan skin and hazel eyes. He was one of the few male Trigedakru Clarke had actually heard laugh, even if it was still more of a grin with a puff of air at her expense.

"Good morning, Liam." She smiled and clasped his forearm. He was significantly less formal than the other Floudonkru, especially when it was only her and his family. It surprised her initially because he was a bred warrior of the Trikru and had married India who was born as a member of the Floudonkru.

"I want my kin to thrive. To die in battle is glorious, but you are still dead." He revealed to her once when she had asked why he decided to cross the clan barrier.

"Ready?" Clarke asked Rebekah once the girl gathered her things. The girl nodded and walked with her outside leaving her family for the day to spend under Clarke's tutelage.

"Where are we going?" Clarke smiled at her improved English and responded in Trigedasleng. It was a game for them, allowing them both to improve their language skills.

" _Some of the younger children are ill, so we are going to help Luka today."_ Clarke watched with mild amusement as Rebekah's excitement dwindled.

" _It will not be that bad."_ Clarke promised her.

"You're lucky to not have siblings," the redhead grumbled under her breath.

Clarke laughed and nudged her shoulder. _"You forget my Mother was the chief healer on the_ Ark _. I helped her with many babes, and even births."_

* * *

"Greetings Skai Prisa," Luka bowed formally and ushered the two of them inside the doors.

Clarke and Rebekah were taken to one of the larger rooms that occupied the humble building that consisted of two women, one around her age and another much older one that Clarke was impressed with just for walking.

They were presented and briefly given explanation on the few smaller babes that were taken care of in this part of the city when family was preoccupied or they were ill. Clarke smiled thinking it was similar to day care on the Ark. There were sixteen children, seven girls and nine boys, all roaming on the padded floor in various temperaments and ranged from barely a few months old to five years.

Clarke began to change nappies, feed, and entertain along with provide the ones who were ill medicine that she ground to form powders and concoctions to treat small fevers. Rebekah took orders well, and was very skilled with handling the children; it came with ease from experience with her own siblings. In accordance to the many things she was learning as a healer, this was one of the most rewarding and less taxing. None of the children were gravely ill nor were they burdened by the horrors that existed beyond their peaceful city.

Clarke felt her heart lighten with every smile she was given, every eager pull at her hand that wished to have the Skai Prisa's attention. Her arms and newly styled hair were pulled until her joints and scalp ached and her legs fell asleep from the tiny mass of body's taking turn in her lap. Clarke endured each tug and the tingling in her toes from too many tiny bodies on her lap with pleasure. This was what she wanted to preserve, what Lexa was trying to preserve.

It was nearing the end of the day and parents came to collect their children and bring them home except for a rare few who still required looking after due to their fever.

The family members took their children with wonder learning that the Skai Prisa herself had honored their family by personally looking after them. Clarke made note to say something polite about each child she entertained in clear Trigedasleng as families left for the day.

"Ready to leave?" Clarke asked putting a hand on Rebekah's hunched shoulders and subtly whipping her hand along her pant leg after discovering there was unknown moisture on the girls shoulder.

"Yes," she sighed too exhausted to notice Clarke's movement.

As they said their farewells for the evening, Clarke noticed the younger female assistant cover a babe in a basinet off to the side and leave shortly to continue cleaning. Clarke did not recall seeing this child throughout the day, but was not surprised as she had sixteen children vying for her attention all day.

Clarke approached the basinet curiously, unaware of Rebekah's call or Luka's watchful eyes.

She folded the frayed blanket to see two very astute eyes looking back at her. The eyes were blue like her own and there was a dark patch of brown hair waving around his head that was titled awkwardly to the left and rotated towards her. The babe made a small sound and she smiled, which turned into a frown noting the dampened blanket and wondered why he had not cried out from his wet state.

She unwrapped the blanket carefully under the child's stare and faltered when the right fist uncurled revealing three slightly clawed fingers. She continued after tracing the appendages curiously and discovered another abnormality with his right leg that was underdeveloped considerably compared to the left.

Clarke gently picked the child up and began changing him. He was quiet though the entire process and Clarke felt entirely pleased with her self when she received a small happy gurgle after blowing on his stomach.

Rebekah deposited the dirty nap and gave her a clean blanket, which Clarke wrapped around the small boy.

"He didn't cry at all. What is his name?"

"He rarely does," Luka responded as Clarke turned to him. "I expect self preservation." At her questioning look he continued. "He was abandoned on the edge of our city nearly eight months ago and has not been named." Clarke clutched the babe tighter to her chest at his words. "We were unsure if he would survive."

Clarke wanted to ask him why anyone would just abandon a defenseless baby, but she already knew what his answer would be. She stared at the blue eyes falling closed and the head resting contently on her breast with his deformed fingers curling her top. Dirty blood. The child was abandoned for his deformity and thus considered tainted and impure. The initial nuclear bombs had devastated the world, killed many lives directly and indirectly via radiation that continued to affect the following generations. To eradicate the impurity, the malformed children were abandoned, and typically given to the Nomads wandering the desert.

It made little sense why this boy was here instead of amongst the Nomads resigning in the desert. "You took him in?"

"The Floudonkru is an accepting clan compared to most." Luka explained calmly and with care. "He will be raised by the Floudonkru as any other parentless child until he comes of age, but will most likely take his place amongst the Nomads."

"Why?" She already knew the answer and despite the warm hearts of the Floudonkru, Clarke knew the child would be without many things growing up because of his circumstance. Her eyes burned with compassion at the suffering to come for the babe. It was not fair, the world was harsh, but the child did not deserve to suffer for being born.

"I am not saying it is right, but it simply is, Skai Prisa." His apologetic and deferent tone did little to soothe her righteous ire.

"Torticollis," Clarke whispered absently tracing the curves of his neck.

"Skai Prisa?" Luka questioned.

"It's called torticollis." She turned holding the now changed boy in her arms. "It's congenital, or it can be. Sometimes it occurs because of alignment in the womb." She turned towards him. "I can help him." Her eyes were resolute and dared him to question her.

"As you will, Skai Prisa." Luka submitted with Rebekah looking on in curiosity but dared not say anything to dispute her on the child's condition.

Clarke turned around and sat in one of the nursing chairs. "I'm going to stay the evening," she stated with quiet authority.

"I'll get some food from home. I'll be back soon." Rebekah piped in eager to please and dispel the odd atmosphere.

"Please tell Coltrane," she said calmly rocking the babe in her arms. Rebekah nodded and left to complete her tasks.

All the while, Luka observed the mysterious leader from the sky as she cradled a child forsaken by his people. He wondered at her empathetic nature and compassion trying to align the same legendary woman who decimated hundreds of warriors with the one reverently holding a disfigured babe. The moment her eyes shone with incredulity at the lot afforded to the babe he saw the ferocity and characteristics that made her a leader worth dying for. She had the ability to see the value in another life, a trait few had in this life. This blazing fair-haired female was a leader who took care of those she considered her own; no matter their faults, physical or otherwise.

Klark kom Skaikru was nothing less than worthy of her title.

"It's okay, I've got you." She whispered rocking the child back and forth and kissed each hand and foot with gentle lips.

* * *

Polis was a grand city filled with an abundance of life and energy as was expected of the capitol of the twelve clans. It was home to decorated warriors and their families alike, and the official home of the Heda.

Lexa, Heda and initiate of the Coalition sat upon a throne of iron twirling a blood stained knife as she listened to a delegate of her birth tribe. Such proceedings were expected as the leader of the twelve clans. The current claim came from one of the more celebrated families from the Trikru. The male addressing her was one she knew from her childhood and had shouted at her and her siblings growing up, as they were prone to play pranks on the man and his wife.

She turned her bored and stoic gaze to her knife. It was finely crafted, but also one from her earlier days as Heda. Her most prized knife, gifted to her by her father as she came into her role as Heda, was with a beautiful blonde female that fell from the sky and was known to burn her enemies alive. Dissonance arrived the moment Clarke landed in a metal cage of fire amongst her people.

She was interrupted by her musings by one of her warriors leading a delicately dressed female with sandals. Interested, she straightened her spine and ordered the Trikru subject away from her with a dismal wave and internally noting to grant part of his request at a later date.

Lexa lifted her chin and gestured the messenger forward. No words were exchanged as the female presented the letter to her with Luna's seal. She opened the coarse material and breezed through its contents, her heart beginning a staccato. The letter was brief and cryptic, but she understood Luna's message as clearly as if she had seen the very individual the letter was written about. She re-folded the letter gently with slightly trembling fingers that betrayed her reticent expression.

Lexa dismissed the messenger calmly without a response, but divulged the female with a small nod of recognition acceptable for the Heda to bestow on a subject in her service.

She sheathed her knife and put her hand upon the hilt as she left the formal gathering room. One of her male guards and attendants followed her with a questioning glance. She looked to the man who was one of the trusted few under her employ in Polis and gifted him an order as much as a response to the question in his gaze.

" _We leave for Leston."_

* * *

AN: I apologize profusely for not uploading this faster. I am in Wisconsin at the moment and it was very busy trying to get everything done (or done enough) for work before I left. The next chapter is finished (I think?). Honestly, not sure because it isn't left on a good spot so I may keep going until I have a bit more of a better finish. I will update before or on the 7th of July because IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! So...please send my birthday presents in the form of reviews! I hope you enjoyed this. Please review and give me your comments and suggestions. Thank you to everyone who has favorited, reviewed etc.

* * *

Translations

Chon ste der- who is there

Mochof- thank you

Ai laik Klark kom Skaikru – I am Clarke of the Sky People

Skai prisa – sky princess

Ai badan yu op en nou moun – I serve you and no other

Yu laik yuj- You are strong

Hod op- wait

Shop of – quiet

Jus drein jus daun- blood must have blood

Floudonkru – Boat people

Your fight is not over - Yu gonplei ste nou odon


	5. Chapter 5

One by one the council members left the room until Abby sat alone. The day had been long and she was weary. Her head dropped upon folded hands as she fought the headache pounding at her temples. A hand rested against her shoulder and a body took the seat next to her.

"You need to get some rest Abby."

"I can't Kane." She looked up and regarded him with tired eyes. "We need to make a decision. We only have ten days until we vote again."

He smiled wryly. "Never thought you'd abstain from voting."

"Me neither," she smirked in return. "Our backs are against the wall. We need the power grid, and the supplies from Mount Weather."

"We need more time," he rebutted.

"That's exactly what we don't have."

"We can't sacrifice our truce with the Grounders."

"We don't have a truce with the Grounders!" She paused and began again in earnest. "We're like their play things Kane. We can't go forward we can't go back. Sooner or later we're going to kill each other."

"Abby, they don't trust us. We need to compromise, let them accept us. Perhaps learn their ways if we can have peace between us. It's what Clarke would have-"

"Clarke is gone!" Her voice rose suddenly ceasing his monologue. "She's gone, and we need to do something. She never understood what needed to be done. She aligned herself with the Grounders and put everyone at risk. So much happened because we got involved with them."

"She saved everyone."

"And killed hundreds of people."

The silence stretched between them.

"Then why abstain from voting if you've already made up your mind?" Kane asked at last.

"I was hoping you could talk to Octavia, see if she can reason with Indra." Abby all but pleaded. "Please, try and find another way. I'll speak with Raven again and see if there's another method we can take. I want to make sure this is the only option."

Kane rose from his seat and the chair scraped against the metallic surface. "The other option is that we don't use the power from the mountain. The Grounders fear we'll become the enemy Clarke just defeated. Going against them now, will only confirm their suspicions."

He paused at the door looking at her blank expression. "Get some rest Abby."

Abby growled in frustration after he left. Why could he not understand that in order to survive on the ground they needed to maintain order and civilization? It was one thing to live off of the land, but to live like savages and sleep on the dirt and hunt with spears was unacceptable. They were a people of skills beyond the Grounders armed with technology and advancements that would lead to a better life, if only they could get further access to the right materials. The people of Mount Weather, had they not used their resources to treat their radiation poisoning, had the life Abby wanted to provide for her people. They had security, food, and Earth's old culture. Mount Weather held the foundations of the human race.

The Grounders could not be trusted. Their leader had betrayed them in their moment of need until her daughter was forced to make decisions an 18 year-old girl should never even need to comprehend. And now her daughter was gone. Missing in the wild, and Abby was left to salvage the Ark and people who were grasping at their old lives and trying to make sense of this new one. The people were conflicted enough that Abby felt the strain to do what she could to preserve their way of life. Too many of them were willing to pick up a spear instead of a gun if it meant appeasing their neighbors.

The door behind her opened again and Abby turned expecting Kane returning to further his reasoning. Instead, a Grounder stood in the doorway. It was a woman Abby had not seen before. She was attired like any other of the ruffians with dark clothes and weapons. Abby was momentarily stunned at her presence and the hairs on the back of her neck stood on end.

"Can I help you?" she asked calmly despite her sudden apprehension at being alone with an unknown Grounder.

"I think I can help you Chancellor." Her accent was thick and slightly different than the other dialect she was beginning to become familiar with. "My Queen has a proposition for you."

Abby's eyes furrowed. "Your Queen?" Her mind instantly thought of the imposing Grounder Commander, but had not heard her referenced as Queen in any previous encounters.

"Yes. You want technology of the Mountain Men. My clan can aid you if you align with us to defeat a common enemy."

Abby contemplated responding. The Grounder was giving information all too readily, which triggered alarm bells in her head.

"Who is this enemy?" Abby asked taking the bait.

"The one who betrayed your people and your daughter."

"Lexa." Abby breathed in realization. "No," she responded instantly wondering how fast a guard could get to her before the female killed her. As much as she disliked the Grounder Commander, they did not have the forces to deal with such a threat. Her people could not survive another war.

"We can make a trade."

"I don't want to start another war." Her daughter would not forgive her after all she sacrificed to save her people.

"Another war is already happening." The warrior paused before adding, "Do you not want to see your daughter again?"

"Clarke?" Abby breathed. "What do you know?" Her eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"I know much of the Skai Prisa. But, we want your cooperation in exchange."

"You'll give me knowledge about my daughter, and help us get supplies from Mount Weather for what exactly?"

"A favor," the warrior said dismissively. "When needed we want support, the assistance of your warriors, and your technology."

"I will not start another battle and give you my people just to die."

The female warrior stood and approached nearly brushing her chest against Abby's.

"People will die with or without your assistance. The Trigedakru and the Skaikru will all die, if you do not do as my Queen asks of you, Chancellor Abby of the Skaikru. You are being given a choice, whether or not you will sentence your people to die or live free of the Trigedakru Commanders rule."

"You are not a member of the Trigedakru." Abby stated carefully not fully understanding her. The offer began to escalade until Abby realized she was not so much being offered a bargain, but being given a threat. To help them, whomever they were, meant saving her daughter and people, to go against them could also mean death. There was no clear outcome and she did not know whom to trust, not without Clarke's insight. For some reason, Clarke was able to interpret these foreigners and their customs. Abby was slowly beginning to realize she was not the leader her daughter was. But she continued to try, and opposing this woman now would not be in her favor. Especially if it meant protecting her daughter.

 _They are being led by a child._

 _So are we._

"I am of the Ice Nation ruled by Queen Nia. Chancellor Abby, let me be more clear. You must forgive me, for my English is crude," the warrior stated blandly clearly mocking her. "You will agree to our terms, or my Queen will take our war against the Trigedakru Commander to your people as well. We have eyes on the Skai Prisa, your daughter, Clarke, and if we can not have your allegiance, we will kill her."

 _Perhaps there are no good guys._

* * *

" _Why are you doing that? He can't look at you."_

Rebekah kicked her legs back and forth watching Clarke coax the baby with a toy. She was on her stomach playing with one of the other children while Clarke encouraged the baby to look towards her. Rebekah wondered why Clarke did many things. She had been doing the same routine with the baby for the last week every day for a few hours before she started her medical duties in the morning. Clarke spent every moment of her free time with the baby dispersed between the times she trained with her father, was in meetings with Luna, or simply spending time with the Floudonkru earning their trust and learning their ways.

Rebekah watched the baby move his head towards Clarke in a sudden jerk and gurgle but resume his turned away position with an irate cry.

" _I'm doing it on purpose to help develop his muscles."_

Rebekah watched as she tickled the baby's belly. She much preferred this part of the therapy sessions, as Clarke called them, instead of when she stretched his neck. It looked really painful and the baby did nothing but cry and turn a bright red that Rebekah wondered if she was torturing the poor deformed child.

" _Will that actually work?"_ Her tone was wavering.

" _It will in theory"_ Clarke said distracted, her entire focus still with the child.

" _And the leg?"_ Rebekah eyed the atrophied appendage with mild disgust.

She knew it was not the child's fault that he was born with such abnormal features, but from early childhood it was ingrained in her culture to find such genetic deformities as impurities within the bloodline. These impurities caused dishonor and disgrace upon bloodlines and were shameful, especially amongst certain clans such as the Trikru, where her father had been raised. Only such deformities happened amongst families who carried dirty blood. Normally, the children were not fertile and could not reproduce, but they lived separately in the desert among the nomads without leadership. Rebekah had known few with such genetic deformities. She was cordial but distant, as she was expected to behave. Sooner, or later, the children with defects left the clan of their own volition.

To witness Clarke interact with the unfortunate child made Rebekah wonder if there was a reason to be so cautious and afraid of these people. They were, after all, people. If the Skai Prisa treated them well, why should she do any different? There must be something there, something of value. Perhaps it took great strength to see the hidden value and beauty of things normally considered unseemly.

" _Hopefully, a little_ physiotherapy _will help along the development."_

" _If not?"_

"If not, one of my best friends has nerve damage to her leg and is able to get around just fine with a brace."

"The one named after a bird?" Rebekah sat up taking the girl she had been playing with in her arms. "Raven?"

She loved listening to Clarke talk about her family and friends. It was very much a foreign land with epic tales. Sometimes, she persuaded Clarke to speak about the Ark around a large fire with many of the village children sitting by her side eagerly listening.

"Yes, Raven." Clarke smiled at her, knowing that Rebekah enjoyed hearing of Raven and Octavia as she considered them mighty warriors, especially the later.

" _She must be strong."_

" _My people-"_ Clarke began and rephrased her words. _"The Sky People are very strong, as are each clan in their own way."_

Rebekah stared at Clarke with understanding, engraining more of her wisdom to memory.

"Are you going to name him?" Rebekah asked curiously beneath her lashes. Naming a child made them yours, and she wondered how much of their customs Clarke was aware of. She was sure that her mother had explained some of it to Clarke one morning when she found out how much time she was spending with the baby.

Clarke stopped shaking the toy towards the baby and gave her full attention to Rebekah. Clarke answered with conviction and understanding.

"Yes."

" _What are you going to call him?"_ Rebekah smiled, respect and awe filling her chest.

"Jacob, _after my father."_

* * *

Raven drew lazy circles against Wick's chest in their secluded tent. It had started easily enough, sleeping together had led to, well, actually sleeping together. She was the one who instigated their nightly rendezvous, but when he realized how much trouble it was for her to get around in the dark and walk with her brace, he made the trek over to her instead.

She told him not to be stupid, that she could walk just fine, if a little careful in the dark, but he poked fun, said of course he knew she could, but still made it easy on her anyway. After a month, she found him moving his things into her temporary lodging in Camp Jaha. She remembered standing there stupidly with her mouth open until he raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms daring her to say anything. She remembered huffing quite dramatically and muttering how he had better not move any of her tools.

He was such a contradiction. Wick made her pull her weight in their relationship. He was brusque and tried her patience, but he knew when to cave on an issue and how to soothe her tempers and kiss away her sorrows even when she would throw wrenches at him. After Finn, she was afraid she could never find the ability to use that part of her heart again.

Raven prided herself in her ability to be self-sufficient; to never need assistance, physical or emotional, but Wick was showing her that being vulnerable was its own type of strength. And he was honest with her. He told her he was going to be there for her and he was, every step of the way, after everything they had been through.

 _Look, if you wanna do this, I'm in. But I'm not gonna play games._

On Mount Weather, Raven had admitted to needing him and Wick had never taken advantage of it. Instead he had become her anchor.

 _Kyle..._

 _No, no way. Don't even say it. I'm not going anywhere without you._

 _What I was gonna say is... please don't leave me._

 _Not a chance._

Raven was so in love with him, it scared her. Not that she would ever admit it to him.

Wick's hand clasped hers and ceased her caress. "Don't you have somewhere to be?" His gruff words were eased by a kiss to the top of her head.

"I thought you were sleeping?" Raven set her chin on his chest and folded her arms.

"Can't sleep when it's so hot outside and I've got a person on top of me." Raven raised an eyebrow. "A very gorgeous woman, whom I adore."

"That's right," she snorted and reached for her shorts and top.

As she pulled her hair into a ponytail, Wick gently grasped her leg and started attaching her brace with care and precision. It was a new model he had finished designing a few weeks ago that afforded her more mobility while maintaining stability. He was the only one she allowed to touch her injured leg, aside from Abby for medical purposes. At first she had been bothered by it, fearing he would find her leg disgusting or show her pity. Again he had proven her wrong. Still, every time he helped in this way, so casually, and with such devotion, she wanted to voice how much she also wanted to take care of him.

"Ask Indra if you can get that part for the water purifier." Together they provided Camp Jaha with machinery and the means to thrive. Raven was surprised at how ingenious Wick's ideas were. Another trivial secret she was keeping from him.

"Sure, anything else?"

Raven turned and smiled at the sight of him with the blankets pooled in his lap and his chest bare. Every time she went back to Mount Weather he voiced concern, even if there was a large group to accompany her.

"Are you sure you don't want me to go?"

Raven smirked and bent down to peck his lips. "Kyle, I got this. Besides, I have Grounders as back up, and both Octavia and Lincoln to babysit me. I'll be just fine."

She walked to the entrance of the tent and stilled at his next words.

"Be safe, Raven."

His eyes were tender and she felt her throat constrict. Raven swallowed and forced a smile instead of the words she really wanted to say. She left the tent telling herself that she would tell him tomorrow. There was always tomorrow.

* * *

Raven sighed throwing yet another useless part over her shoulder with an irritated growl.

"You try my patience Sky girl."

Raven looked at the looming dark skinned warrior above her. "Look, I need to find this kinda oval looking piece to help with the water purifier."

"Why do you not just boil the water like a civilized person?"

Raven clenched her teeth and counted to ten. It would do little good for her to snap at the highly ranked warrior, especially since the only way anyone from Camp Jaha got as far as Mount Weather was an armed guard complete with Grounders. They said it was for their safety, and while Raven appreciated it, because she still feared the mountain despite all of the people being long dead, she could not help but feel they were keeping tabs on them.

"This is the civilized option, trust me."

Before Indra could retort, Octavia walked over and shoved a large metal part in Raven's view.

"How about this one?"

Raven took the part hesitantly, and glanced at Indra who did not appear to appreciate the interruption. Octavia was no longer the woman's second, although there was obvious respect between them, there was also tension. Raven was not about to get involved in that drama.

"Octavia this is it!" Raven exclaimed somewhat relieved.

"I thought so."

Raven gave Octavia a look, clearly not impressed. "Yea, considering this is like the seventh part you've shoved in my face, you were bound to get it right."

"At least I got it. You could say thanks."

Raven sighed. "Thank you Octavia. Did you happen to see anymore?"

"I'm not sure. I thought you just needed one?"

"A spare would help a lot. And one of the rectangular parts you found earlier to help regulate temperature would be great if you can find one. You found one of them earlier, but it wasn't salvageable."

Octavia nodded and left to resume her search. Raven continued checking the part Octavia provided and affirming the reliability of the wires.

"You and Octavia seem to be getting along." The warrior stiffened and narrowed her eyes but remained quiet. "A lot better than you and our Chancellor."

"Your leader is foolish."

"Abby's doing her best. She's not perfect by a long shot, but she's trying." Raven said calmly used to such criticism from the Grounders. She was fond of Abby, but she had a different agenda than her daughter. Raven was surprised at how akin and dissimilar the two women were.

"It's not good enough. She's dangerous and takes too much interest in the mountains technology."

"I said that to Clarke." Raven and Indra both turned to Octavia who was holding another similar looking part.

"Octavia?" Raven asked standing awkwardly and stretching her leg.

Octavia squared her chin. "I blamed her when Lexa and the Grounders left us. I told her that she wasn't doing enough, that she wasn't good enough. I'm still pissed at her, for more than a few things, but she always tried, and she never stopped caring. I shouldn't have said those things to her. I think that's part of the reason why she left. She knew some of us would hate her."

"Octavia," Raven started. "We all said and did things. I'm sure she understood. It is Clarke after all."

"Yea. Do you think she'll come back? That she's alright?"

Raven hesitated, wanting to ease her friend, but afraid to give her false hope. She was sure Clarke would come back, if she were alive.

She opened her mouth only to have Indra interject.

"The Skai Prisa is alive."

They snapped their gaze to the warrior in surprise. "What? How do you know?" Raven asked.

"And why haven't you said anything?" Octavia accused irritated at having her friends well being kept from her.

"I am not permitted to say," Indra said tersely. "But she is well."

The two Sky People exchanged glances wondering what else the Grounders were keeping from them aside from Clarke's location.

"What aren't you telling us?" Raven asked finally.

"You will say nothing to anyone, if you value her and your own lives." At their nods she continued. "She has taken refuge with a peaceful clan."

"Wait, what clan?" Octavia rushed.

Indra ignored the interruption. "The Commander is currently retrieving her. Now, Get your parts Sky mechanic. It is time we head back."

Both women looked at each other equally shocked and hopeful. They were excited at the prospect of seeing their friend once more, but also worried at the terse response and obviously hidden knowledge of Clarke's whereabouts since her departure nearly three months ago.

Just where was Clarke and what would her return entail?

* * *

AN: Thank you for the thoughtful reviews and continuing to read this story. Your reviews really help fuel my creativity and inspire me to update as soon as possible. I really enjoy the idea of Wick and Raven, and I hope you enjoyed some insight into their relationship. As always please review, my birthday is this Tuesday! Also, the next chapter is going to be something you may have been waiting for...


	6. Chapter 6

" _Trigedasleng"_

* * *

Clarke swiped a hand across her sweaty brow and nearly collapsed from exhaustion onto the cooling sand. She hardly felt the chill despite the setting sun and the crispness of the air. Summer had passed, and she traded in cropped tops, shorts and sandals, for closed toed shoes and warmer clothes. The sea was cold and as much as she loved the summer, the fall season was refreshing. The sun no longer burned her skin if she stayed out too long and she itched to bring more color to her recent painting from the vast color schemes she was discovering each day as the leaves turned various shades of oranges, reds, pinks, and yellows.

Liam, Rebekah's father, dug his sword into the sand and sat besides her. As Clarke's body cooled, she shivered and accepted the jug of water and jacket from him after slipping her arms free of the woven basket at her back. She sighed and rubbed her stiff shoulders. When Liam had noticed her spending time with Jacob, he had tossed her a sword and all but marched her outside insisting she defend herself. To say she was startled was putting it lightly.

After noting how poorly Clarke defended herself, he asked her how she could afford to protect an innocent babe if she was unable to protect herself? Shocked, she looked at him as he continued to explain that a dead parent was just as bad, if not worse, than never having one to begin with. Why would she be so cruel as to give a child hope only to take it away when she got herself or the boy killed? Clarke had been angry, furious even, until she grasped the wisdom. Clarke detested being a novice at anything, especially if it meant life or death. At one point, he hinted at carrying Jacob in her carryall during training as she frequently carried Jacob in her carryall during the day. Clarke adamantly put her foot down and refused to practice weaponry and put her adopted son at risk. Lest she be the worst mother in all of history if after a month her child was accidently skewered. They used heavy stones and a crudely made doll instead to account for his weight.

Clarke believed the pack was actually heavier than Jacob, but it was hard to tell with how fast he was growing. Whether it was the frequent nurturing, her attempts at physiotherapy or other factors, he flourished under her care. She wanted to feel anger at many of the people in the city who now paid him notice because she deemed him worthy. Instead, she practiced patience on a daily basis.

"You did well."

Clarke laughed and wiped her mouth passing the flask back to him. He took a swig and inspected the doll she produced from her carryall. At first inspection it seemed intact, until Clarke knocked over the severed head.

"That is…not good."

Clarke laughed despite another loss. Her track record consisted of more losses rather than victories against Coltrane and Liam, and even India, Liam's wife. India was an easier opponent, while still formidable, simply because she was raised amongst the Floudonkru and battle skills were not heavily implemented as other trades.

"I guess I won't be taking Jacob outside of the city anytime soon."

Liam eyed her and she raised an eyebrow in question. "You still have family?"

"My mother," she nodded in confirmation.

"You will not tell her she has been blessed with a grandson?"

Rather than tense and avoid the topic, as she was prone to when she first arrived, she leaned back in the sand and looked at the horizon. Recently, Clarke had been thinking more about her family and those she had left behind in Camp Jaha.

"My mother and I…have a complicated history. We have a lot that was left unsaid."

"You speak of many of the Skaikru with great regard."

She bit her bottom lip and tucked a strand of sweaty hair behind her ear. "We left on somewhat bad terms. I…made a lot of decisions in order to free my people from the Mountain Men. I tried…" she licked her lips. "I tried to be the good guy, and instead I shot and killed a man's father, someone that was just trying to keep his people alive, and then killed the ones he was trying to protect."

"Good guy? Is this a term from your people?"

"The good guy is the person who is the hero. The one who saves everyone and always does the right thing."

"No such person exists. Even the Heda is not without fault." It was odd to hear such forwardness in regards to the leader of the Trigedakru. Out of all of the people she had met, Liam was the most vocal about Lexa. He spoke of her as if she were another human being or a fellow warrior and not the preordained leader of the Coalition. Clarke found herself wanting to ask if he actually knew Lexa. She assumed he might have known her as a child as they were raised in the same clan.

 _Perhaps, there are no good guys._

She smiled. "My mother said something similar."

"We learn to put our faith in her word." He said referring to the Commander. "It is easy to follow in times of battle." Liam brandished his sword. "You must kill or be killed; it is the way of war. It is only after the battle is won that you must face your warriors, both living and dead."

"We must look into the eyes of our warriors and say, go, die for me." The words came easily from memory. While she had come to terms with her actions at Mount Weather, Clarke felt she was still hiding in some aspect. Sooner or later she would need to return to Camp Jaha and face her people. The longer she stayed amongst the Floudonkru, the more and less she wanted to return.

"Wise words."

Clarke grinned wryly. "Lexa said them to me." She brandished her own knife presented by the Commander and looked at the engravings. Her language skills were passable, as she was trying to grasp the common slang, but she was still unable to read better than a child.

"Can you tell me what this says?" Liam leaned over and looked at the engravings passively. Almost reverently, he ran his fingers along the blade.

" _My beloved daughter. Slay your enemies and find peace amongst the stars."_

"Lexa's father gave this to her?" He nodded and she clutched the weapon tenderly wondering why Lexa would part with such a treasure. Clarke wished she still had her fathers watch and would not dare part with an object holding such sentiment.

" _The_ Heda _must hold you in high esteem_ Klark _of the Sky People."_ His gaze was unwavering.

" _Why do you say this?"_ The engravings were smooth under her fingers.

He hesitated, obviously choosing his words carefully. "It is…customary to present a weapon, especially amongst the Trikru, to family or loved ones going to war, coming of age, between merging's of family, or even as a token to show favor or intention of courting."

Clarke froze and her eyes widened as she listened. "The weapon typically used is one of value either made by the one bestowing or passed down in the family. It signifies protection; that you are not alone in your fight. Protect this. For someone has found you worthy and Heda is seldom mistaken."

With shaking hands she took the blade, blinking watering eyes and sheathed the weapon with care.

* * *

"Welcome," India greeted somehow managing to bounce two infants on either hip, one being Jacob, while stirring a large pot of stew.

Liam fingered one of her braids fondly and took their child from her arms as Clarke reached for Jacob after him.

"How was everything while we were gone?" Clarke asked rubbing her nose against Jacobs as he laughed.

"All went well. It has been trying preparing for the winter, I had my sister watch the children this afternoon."

Clarke frequently took Rebekah and Jacob with her during the day, as Liam was busy on the many boats stocking fish and greens while India was skilled at smoking meats and tanning hides. She knew what snow was in theory and was excited to feel it for the first time. The Ark was always exactly 21° Celsius. Clarke found herself preparing for the winter besides the other city members and for the annual celebration of the Coalition.

Each year, the clans celebrated the time at which they became apart of the Coalition. As there were twelve clans, each one celebrated independently and towards the end a large celebration was held in the capital.

 _You should come with me to the capital. It will change the way you think of us._

 _You already have._

The celebration in Leston consisted of a bonfire to commemorate the lives lost before the Coalition and those forged afterwards. There was a large feast with music, and dancing and other small festivities that continued for three days. Clarke was told that the event in Polis lasted an entire week and was held in the spring.

Leston was the seventh clan to join the Coalition, and Luna told her how wary she was at first of the young Heda. She cracked a large smile when Luna recalled how Lexa demanded her clan join the Coalition or suffer the consequences. Clarke could almost imagine Luna giving the formidable Commander a queer smile and inviting her over for dinner.

"How is Luna?" India asked as Clarke assisted by arranging the food and making a grain milk bottle for Jacob in the process. Liam passed their son back to his wife in exchange for a plate of food.

She was always pleased to hear how favorable Luna was amongst the Floudonkru. Luna was suffering from a rather dry cough and shortness of breath that Clarke was treating with a series of hot syrups and thick vapors to ease her breathing. The Boat Captain did not seem overly concerned as her affliction worsened with the change of seasons when the air became damp and cold.

"A little better" Clarke responded. "I gave her another supply of medicine. She seems a bit preoccupied with the preparations for the Coalition festival."

"How is your garb coming along?" India inquired setting her youngest down on her lap as she fed him a bottle mimicking Clarke. The others sat down to eat and Rebekah eased her younger sister onto the chair that was just out of reach until the next summer.

"Have you seen it?" Rebekah probed serving herself and her sister.

Clarke shook her head. "Amelia is quite secretive. I just asked that she not make anything too…well exuberant. Although, I suppose it has to be somewhat formal as Luna insisted I be there to greet the official arriving from Polis."

Rebekah snorted and covered her mouth when her mother shot her a look. Clarke ignored Rebekah's odd behavior and set the finished bottle on the table and adjusted Jacob on her shoulder. After a moment, India helped cease her struggle.

"There." She smoothed Jacob's sparse dark hair but avoided touching his swinging right fist. Clarke grasped the fist, giving it a quick kiss, and patted his back. India was more than kind to Jacob, but still uncomfortable with his deformity.

"Motherhood suits you," she commented after a moment of watching Clarke pat Jacob's back.

"It's…a lot harder than it looks." She admitted and took the babe away from her shoulder to wipe his mouth and replace the messed towel.

 _You're still a child, Clarke._

Clarke stared at the babe in her arms wondering how her own mother must have felt raising her and live to see her child commit genocide.

 _You've crossed a line Clarke._

"It always is." India smiled sagely and resumed eating.

The meal recommenced and towards the end Clarke gently placed Jacob in a basinet with India and Liam's youngest. Coltrane chose that moment to enter the home.

"I'll be just a minute" she spoke to the warrior as she finished settling Jacob. Coltrane nodded and went to wait outside after accepting a piece of bread from Rebekah's younger sister, the same one that was fond of braiding his beard.

"You're sure you don't mind watching him? Luna likes it when I'm present for the city proceedings."

India shook her head. "Not at all."

"When is your house finished?" Rebekah asked eagerly.

Liam hushed his daughter with an apology and Clarke laughed understanding how exciting it must be for her. Clarke was rather enthused and humbled by the prospect of having her own sanctuary amongst the Floudonkru. Liam's family had been generous enough to give her lodging these long months, but Clarke did not wish to impose on the family more than necessary. Trigedakru did not have last names, and instead were named after the head of the preceding family. Liam's last name literally translated into the son of Alexander.

Clarke expected nothing in terms of grandeur for a new home, but she suspected more than the humble lodgings she had suggested when questioned. Not that she had any actual clue, since she had never seen it. She knew the general vicinity of where they were building, but the visual concept was a mystery.

Clarke shrugged tugging one of Rebekah's braids in affection. "They said perhaps in the spring."

After a kiss to her newly adopted son's forehead and thanks for supper, Clarke and Coltrane headed to city hall.

* * *

It was a longer precession than Clarke anticipated. She tried not to squirm in her chair alongside the more decorative one Luna resided in to her right, but she really wanted to stretch her legs. She had no idea how Coltrane stood at her side with such stillness through these proceedings. Clarke's mind frequently drifted to Jacob and wondered if he was asleep or keeping Liam's entire family from a peaceful evening.

City hall was filled with Luna's most trusted advisors, armed guards, and many of the city's populace. Every person in this hall wanted something. They wanted more food, more land, or criminals to be sentenced. The proceedings were so normal and reminiscent of her former life on the Ark that it was almost soothing. However, she found the system more involved and difficult than leading a bunch of delinquent teenagers and negotiating amongst enemies and allies to keep people alive.

For the most part, Luna was lenient. Clarke watched quietly and absorbed. Luna listened and compromised but was firm in her demands and sentences. The punishments fit the crimes, and fortunately floating, or death by torture was not a common occurrence.

Currently, they were listening to an old fisherman accuse a younger man from consistently stealing his catch. Winter was coming, and food, while not scarce, was valuable. Furthermore, the fisherman was older and manual labor was taxing on his body. Clarke looked at the fisherman and noted his slightly hunched back and worn face. His appendages were lean from years of physical exertion. The other man was strong, but his clothes hung loose with frays along the edges. His shoes were dirty and he looked tired. Clarke felt the slump of his shoulders as if it were her own.

"Klark."

She startled and composed herself before looking to Luna trying to maintain her neutral expression.

" _This sentence passes to you."_

The room quieted, and Clarke felt the pulse of her heartbeat quicken. Whether or not the room was silenced may have been her imagination, but she stared into Luna's eyes trying to decipher the words nonetheless. Coltrane met her gaze but revealed nothing. She turned and looked at the crowd and the many expectant gazes. Her own eyes landed on the fisherman and then the younger man who had allegedly stolen from him.

She looked to Luna one last time and the encouraging nod gave her courage. She took a breath realizing she was about to pass a sentence upon a man's life.

 _We don't decide who lives and dies._

Clarke sat tall and regal as she imagined Lexa might. For the most part, Clarke recalled her bored expression and sprawled posture upon her thrown. Her lips twitched but she succeeded in withholding the smile that threatened her face at the memory of Lexa. Thinking of the Commander was becoming less painful.

Clarke gazed at the fisherman and then the accused. When asked to speak truth, he had spoken true and declared himself guilty to the leader of his clan and the people. Stealing on the Ark was punishable by floating. People lived in fear from being caught and floated for committing lesser crimes. Illegal trade still occurred, as the need for food and other goods was always present. The desire to survive was instinctive. In the end, people would do whatever it took to live. They took chances, risks to keep themselves and their loved ones alive.

 _Revenge isn't justice._

" _Do you have family?"_ she questioned the guilty party.

The man startled, obviously not expecting further inquiry. He was nervous, and she tried to soften her tone and relax the muscles in her face to coax his response.

" _Yes,_ S-skai Prisa _."_

" _Tell me of them, speak truth. Hold nothing back."_

And he did. Clarke imagined that he wished to speak to the ground and less of his family if not for fear of displeasing her. She felt herself tested as she listened to his story. He had two sons, one that was considered to be dirty blood, like her Jacob. The other was…unwell, irrevocably scarred from the Mountain Men and one of the few freed from Lexa's betrayal. His wife was not lucky enough to have escaped the mountain.

He was a criminal, but Clarke reminded herself that she was one as well. Being a delinquent was how she made it to the ground. She knew too much and had the ability to change things in place of her father. Looking at the thin and somewhat humiliated man; she thought perhaps this was a time to implement such change. Only time would serve as a true indicator of whether her sentence would be effective. Amongst the Floudonkru, at least there was room for her to test the boundaries of these people that she had aligned herself with.

With a steady breath and square shoulders she met the eyes of the guilty.

"You will apprentice under the man you have stolen from. You shall obey his commands as if they were my own. You will take only a quarter of your rightful share for the days work and no more until you have repaid in double what you stole. You will not steal again, even for your family. If you need more you will beg. Only a coward steals, but it takes courage to supplicate and forgo your pride. If you prove unsatisfactory in your work, or your master finds you unworthy, your punishment will be…most unfortunate." She paused gazing down at him with impassioned eyes.

Clarke turned to the fisherman. "And you will show no discord nor favor to this man or his family. He is weak and wrong to steal from you. You must show him the benefits of true strength and hard work." She straightened in her chair and looked into the crowd with more authority than she felt. _"Punishment is not for revenge, but to lessen crime and reform the criminal when the criminal is redeemable. In this instance,"_ she nodded to the guilty party, _"I find him worthy of redemption."_

Clarke let out a breath as the two were taken away, the guilty man and the accused both somewhat puzzled and wary as they gazed at one another. Her lack of Trigedasleng during her sentence was purposeful, for Clarke felt she may have erred in terms of the sentence and she wanted to limit any possible misinterpretation.

" _The sentence has been passed! So shall it be."_ Luna's voice carried amongst the hall with ease. Clarke was unsure if the clan leader was pleased with her judgment. There was general commotion as people began to speak amongst each other. No doubt they were discussing her ruling and the fact that it was she and not Luna who passed the sentence.

"Splita! _She is not Floudonkru! She cannot pass a sentence! "_

Clarke replayed his words in her mind, translating them quickly amid the ringing in her ears; it was obvious he was not pleased. The voice carried easily through the crowd and she searched for the owner.

"Pleni!"

Luna signaled the guards with a wave of her hand. They readily obeyed and she watched as men and women parted like the sea. Clarke at once feared for this mans life. Luna was just, but swift in her punishments. In all honestly, Luna gave the impression of listening to multiple parties and as such it was believed that others could sway her hand. In reality, when the Boat Captain's mind was decided, the matter would not be revisited with out due cause. Clarke was more lenient in her dealings at Luna's side for petty crimes, but on matters of utmost importance, she found herself also unrepentant for exacting ruthless verdicts. Oh, how her father might look down upon her and what or whom would he see if he did?

The outspoken man clearly warred with himself whether or not to flee and in the end he either had a death wish or was very foolish, for he shook off the guards and began to walk forward. The guards, enraged and insulted, grabbed him more forcefully and dragged him to the front of the dais.

" _Your are out of turn."_ Luna's eyes were devoid of their usual warmth. _"A lash for every word spoken."_ With a flick of her wrist, the guards began to carry him away.

Clarke had a fleeting thought and one chance to act.

"Hod op!"The hall was silent and she wanted to wince hearing her voice echo amongst the walls.

The guards ceased automatically looking to Luna. Clarke feared she might have finally over stepped her welcome and Luna's assuaging nature. Luna said nothing, merely waited with an expectant look daring her to do…something.

" _I wish to hear him speak."_

And she did. Clarke was tired of being appealed to and placated. She was a stranger to many of these people, known only for her actions and her prowess in battle. It was improbable that all amongst this more pliable tribe of Trigedakru were taken with the woman from the sky now sitting amongst their leaders and determining their very fate. It was one thing to lead in battle, and another entirely to do so in their home in a figurative time of peace.

" _I admire his…"_ she searched for the word, _"…tenacity and bravery."_ She looked at the male, still hesitant but less afraid. _"…However, foolish,"_ she added and his eyes turned uncertain. Clarke bowed her head to Luna and spoke in earnest with a lowered voice attempting to make their conversation more intimate. "I am here to learn. I cannot learn and protect myself, my… _our people…_ if I listen to only what I want to hear."

Luna searched her eyes and nodded. She sat tall and waved her hand once and the man was released. He fell to the ground on hands and knees and continued to huddle near the floor as if to appear acquiescent.

" _Speak truth."_ Luna gazed at him sternly and at her words he stilled and Clarke could almost see himself gathering the courage to speak. He directed himself to her and Clarke admired him even more as his voice was clear and concise. He could have easily made his words a rush of Trigedasleng and difficult for her to follow.

His eyes were dark and indignant. _"You are_ Skayon _. You may be a powerful leader, but you are not one of us."_ He rose higher onto his knees. _"You care for the dirty blood and sit as if you rule. You are not_ Heda _!"_

Clarke was unsure if it was the mention of her adopted son, or Lexa that broke her calm. Her appreciation for truth turned to ire in an instant. She stood fast and tall interrupting his next words. Clarke appreciated truth, but she did not appreciate words spoken in ignorance. She had been through enough in her short time on the ground and had earned her place, her right to not just survive but to finally live.

" _I have not taken anything that which was not given"_ she started staring down at spoke her words slowly, inflecting each word in their native tongue.

" _I work amongst the_ Floudonkru _every day, healing the ill, feeding the hungry, passing judgments over the wicked, and caring for the forgotten. The ones that you should be caring for."_ She licked her lips and eyed not just him but met the eyes of the people. _"Dirty blood. It means nothing. The blood of those who do nothing, say nothing in the wake of such injustice bring dishonor to their family. They are the ones with dirty blood."_ For the first time in a while she spoke of the Mountain Men and their transgressions. _"The blood of the Trigedakru's, even dirty, could have helped treat the disease that ailed the Mountain Men. Only the_ Skaikru _could cure them. My blood and my honor are unsullied. The boy, who you say has dirty blood, is my son. My family is mine to protect, and you disgrace me. I will not allow this indignity."_

The man appeared fully speechless and Luna took that moment to stand besides Clarke and clap a hand to her shoulder. She retrieved her ornate staff Clarke had once assumed more for adornment (and now was not so sure) and raised it chillingly to the man who spoke boldly. At once, yells and roars emerged, with fists waving in the air. Luna allowed this behavior momentarily until she raised her hand and waited until it was quiet.

" _This matter is closed."_ The hairs on Clarke's arm prickled and Luna's words left no room for what possible punishment would entail. "I leave final judgment to you, as is your right. Sad kiln." She faced Clarke standing ceremoniously.

Clarke felt the propensity of the moment. If she let this man go, she risked proving herself as soft and unwilling to hold her rightful place amongst these people. But she also did not want to live in a world bent on fear of death. She thought of Jacob and the world she wanted him to grow in. More often these days Clarke felt her old self drift away and this new skin grow stronger, thicker and assured.

" _Your punishment still stands. A lash for every ill word spoken."_ Clarke paused and stepped towards the man lowering her voice for words only between them. "I'm not punishing you for speaking your mind, but I will not allow you to speak ill of my son" Clarke paused and solidified her stance, "or so casually of the Commander."

Perhaps she imagined it, but his sharp nod seemed more respectful for a man she was sending to be whipped. As he was led away and the procession ended for the evening, Luna stood besides her pondering.

"He is correct," she spoke considering her. "You cannot have your Jacob as a son if you are not Floudonkru. We will rectify this."

Clarke wondered how exactly that was going to be rectified.

* * *

Three days passed since Clarke had defended her honor, and as Luna said, that of the Commanders. Respect for her grew in the city, rather than disdain for her swift hand. While she took no joy in causing another pain, some traditions and ways simply were and Clarke was learning how and what to compromise on. Yes, she had a man flogged, but she also cleaned his wounds, covered his lashings in poultice and wrapped his torso with the upmost care. She debated with herself over offering her medical assistance, but knew that infection could bring death and she did not want to be responsible for his. She knew how to kill with ease, but saving lives was difficult. Clarke was prepared to bargain or threaten him as needed but was pleasantly surprised. As expected, he refused her aid out of pride, but eventually relented. She figured he was taken aback by her genuine need to save as many lives as possible, or fearful of her wrath.

" _My father always taught me to do what needs to be done for the good of the people."_

She explained as she applied the poultice and wrapped his torso. Clarke eyed the wounds with clinical abandon. She empathized with his pain, but not that he had them. In fact, some part of her felt pride that this man had challenged her and she had retaliated appropriately.

" _But my mother"_ Clarke continued _, "is a healer, and she taught me to save lives. I want to protect those who need protecting, who need saving, but I won't hesitate to kill if I must. I've learned what I will and will not do by now."_ She finished the wrapping and tucked one of the strands inside the other to hold it in place _. "I know myself better now."_

Her patient stared at her silently, and she was unable to discern what he was thinking. He struggled onto his stomach and Clarke watched him reposition mentally warring with herself and finally decided not to assist. He was not weak, and he had shown her great strength in simply allowing her to help him. Not all Trigedakru were of similar notion. She allowed him the silence for a moment.

"If you ever question me in public again and threaten my family, a lashing will be the least of your worries. Nami?"

His brief but shaky nod was enough.

* * *

Amelia outdid herself. Clarke was used to wearing comfortable clothing in shades of grey, brown, tan, white and black. There were occasional colors, but they were dull reds, blues and greens. Compared to the worn and drab clothing from the Ark, her wardrobe amongst the Floudonkru was less confining and more free spirited. Clarke had never been ashamed of her body, but she was naturally modest, or at least more than she originally thought. It took her a few weeks to get used to showing her midriff, and bare arms and legs. As the weather cooled she found herself more comfortable adding another layer of clothes. The shoes were a definite update. As the weather cooled, she missed the feel of the warm sand between her toes. The metal floorboards of the Ark were cold and lifeless. On Earth, everything was alive.

The boots were tan, made of a solid animal hide and reached mid calf. The dress she wore was made of two layers. One piece was constructed as a tan skirt overlaid with a deep pink bodice with small sleeves. The bodice was fitted, but breathable and extended to create an extra plait of fabric in the front and back. Her chest was covered with thick leather that covered her shoulders up to her neck. Underneath she wore tan pants to complete her look. Clarke's attire was practical and it made her feel both strong and feminine. How could she have expected anything less from a Trigedakru clothing designer?

As Clarke stood next to Luna in her own warrior best, she felt prepared to meet the emissary from Polis. She wondered how much of this visit would reach Lexa. She pondered if Lexa knew where she was and that she was living under one of her twelve clans. Most certainly she would after today.

In the distance Clarke observed people on horseback and others besides the horses walking on foot. It was the largest convey she had seen other than when she had marched with the Trigedakru against the Mountain Men. And that was not a peaceful assembly but a death march. She counted twenty five people at first glance.

"Stand tall, rest easy, Klark." Luna spoke from besides her.

Clarke turned at her voice unable to meet her gaze; Luna's eyes were fixated on the distance focusing on the looming visitors. She found Luna's words and the fact that her gaze was steadfast and unwilling to meet her own odd. Clarke frowned slightly puzzled and faced the envoy. A proud figure surfaced riding atop a stallion amongst the soldiers. As they grew closer she felt her heart beat stutter and her hands grow clammy.

Riding a large beast with two faces was none other than the Commander herself.

* * *

The beast moved steadily forward and her hips swayed rhythmically with each stride. The Trikru were raised amongst horses, but did not rely on them nearly as much as the Hosakru who lived in the plains and were practically birthed atop horses. As Commander of the Coalition, she appreciated and detested many aspects of each of the twelve clans.

She tightened her legs against the beast and moved her feet, trying to increase the circulation through her legs. After many days of restless travel, she was ready to dismount and stretch her legs. As she spotted the leader of the Floudonkru in the distance and the woman besides her, she decided that staying on her steed was preferred. She felt strong and mighty, as every leader should. But next to the blond who fell from the sky, she felt small and vulnerable, more than she ever had in her entire life, even when she was first summoned to her calling as Commander.

 _Victory stands on the back of sacrifice._

Lexa felt a small amount of dread and anxiety over the inevitable reunion with the leader of the Skaikru. Looking into the Skayon's eyes would remind her of the intense fear over leaving Clarke to fend for herself at Mount Weather. With hindsight, she knew that she could have chosen differently but did what she thought was best in that moment, and Lexa did not believe in regrets. She was the Commander, and committing to each decision was required of her. It did a disservice to all when doubt settled beneath a leaders breast. Lexa had felt this doubt and fear when looking into Clarke's disbelieving eyes at the base of the mountain. She never wanted to feel that encompassing ambiguity again.

 _Please don't do this._

Lexa's eyes roamed Clarke's figure as her mount drew closer still. She looked healthy and her skin glowed from obvious time spent in the sun. Her hair was chopped in various lengths that framed her face in a pleasant style and she wore a warrior's dress that was impressive, but casual enough for the occasion. Donned in her garb, with her erect posture and impassioned eyes, Lexa found the title Skai Prisa appropriate. It was a title she had heard spoken amongst the Skaikru, especially those of Clarke's friends, and apparently it was one her people had heard and taken to heart. It was one thing to hear a forename, but another to earn it, especially amongst the Trigedakru.

" _Her eyes do not leave you,_ Heda." Her guard spoke walking besides her on the right.

Lexa nodded absently and tried to look elsewhere, but found herself held captive by blue eyes. Even bleeding and battered, Lexa had found Clarke striking. Her attraction to the foreigner was instant. The air had felt charged from their first meeting, when Clarke had walked into her tent with an expectant air and they had traded careful jibes testing one another.

 _You're the one who burned 300 of my warriors alive._

 _You're the one who sent them there to kill us._

Lexa stilled the black steed and squared her shoulders. She dismounted with grace despite her fatigue and the long journey and the many burdens she had carried all the way from Polis to Leston. This trip was customary to celebrate each clans forging into the Coalition, but with it carried the threat of another war. In order to protect her people she was going to need the cooperation of an ally she had betrayed.

Her male guard, the very same one who had been present when she had received Luna's letter, took her reigns as she made the last few steps to meet the leader of Floudonkru and the woman whom ignited her heart for the first time since Costia's death.

 _You say having feelings makes me weak, but you're weak for hiding from them._

Lexa could tell that the Skai woman was holding back. Her jaw was clenched and her eyes burned in either passion or hatred. Clarke's eyes were like a fire filled storm, and it was no wonder since she had fallen to the earth within a ball of flame and proceeded to burn her enemies one by one until all were nothing but ash. Fire consumed all. The beautiful flames lured and coaxed until it was too late. Judging from Clarke's expression, Lexa wondered if she was to be next.

"Mounin, Heda." Luna dipped her head respectfully and held her fist over her heart in greeting.

"Mochof, Luna kom Floudonkru," Lexa responded in kind and grasped her forearm briefly.

"We have made preparations for your stay and a feast planned for this evening."

Lexa acknowledged her words but did not take her eyes from Clarke. Her fingers twitched at her side reflexively wishing to reach for the golden curls and feel their softness. Lexa had felt her golden hair once before when she had boldly reached for her and pressed their lips together on the eve of battle.

 _Maybe life should be about more than just surviving._

"Klark kom Skaikru." Lexa's voice was calm and the name of the Sky People's leader a whisper on her lips. Clarke's hands fisted at her sides and the muscles of her jaw tensed. Eyes that had looked at her once with the beginnings of trust and affection were guarded and wrathful.

 _Polis will change the way you think about us._

 _You already have._

No doubt any feelings of regard towards her people were no longer of Lexa's doing. The Skai Prisa had a way about her that drew others to her side, and she to them. It was one of the qualities that made her such a prodigious ally as well as a formidable adversary.

"Lexa."

She nearly smirked at the informal title coming from Clarke's lips if it were not for the cool tone it was delivered. Even then, to hear her voice and be in her presence after months of separation was well worth the contentious reception. It was going to take more than compromise and bargaining skills to rekindle an alliance with the woman who was becoming a legend amongst her people.

 _I do care, Clarke. But I made this choice with my head and not my heart._

Lexa was nothing but strong and patient; she would weather the storm to see the sunrise.

* * *

"Punishment is not for revenge, but to lessen crime and reform the criminal."- Elizabeth Fry

AN: I apologize for the delay in updates. It has been very busy between family vacations (2), baby showers (2 in one weekend) and me just being all bad moody. Please review as your reviews help fuel my desire to update. I picture Clarke a bit like Daenerys from GOT, at least her outfits.

Translations

Chon ste der- who is there

Mochof- thank you

Ai laik Klark kom Skaikru – I am Clark of the Sky People

Skai prisa – sky princess

Ai badan yu op en nou moun – I serve you and no other

Yu laik yuj- You are strong

Hod op- wait

Shop of – quiet

Jus drein jus daun- blood must have blood

Floudonkru – Boat people

Your fight is not over - Yu gonplei ste nou odon

Splita-outcast, outsider,

Hosa-horse, rider

Skayon-Sky person, arker

Sen in –hear, listen

Sad kiln-make a firm choice, decide clearly

Pleni-enough

Nami-feel me? Know what I mean, understand?

Mounin- welcome

Houmon- wife, husband, spouse

Haukom- how come, why

Heya, hei- hi, hello,

Gon we- leave, go away

Fisa-healer

Chil daun-stand down

Azgeda – Ice nation

Yumi-you and I, you and me

Yongon, ones own child, young one

Hod in- love,

Hodnes- in love


	7. Chapter 7

" _Trigedasleng"_

* * *

Clarke excused herself from an older Floudonkru couple and walked over to Luna drink in hand. She sat in the vacant chair to the right of the leader after receiving permission and gazed at the exuberant celebration.

"You purposely did not tell me" Clarke accused stalwartly. There was no need to elaborate, for they both knew whom she was referring.

There was a pause before she responded. "I did."

"Why? Did you think I would run?"

Her eyes turned sad at the thought of Luna's distrust after months of companionship. Truthfully, Clarke did not know what she would have done if she knew the arriving emissary was Lexa. Would she have run again? Was she always going try and find a way to escape the past?

"No Klark, it had nothing to do with trust." Luna placed a hand on top of hers with a firm but gentle grasp. "You are at your strongest when your emotions are pure. Your heart has found some semblance of peace in Leston, but you cannot hide from the world forever."

Clarke's hand twitched beneath the firm and weathered hand. "Such purity and compassion are not meant to sit idly by. You are a wild thing born for greatness. And to do great things you must know your heart."

Luna's gaze turned to face the tan skinned Commander across the crowd overseeing the people with an impartial expression from a raised dais.

"I am not hiding," Clarke rebutted while surreptitiously gazing at Lexa. Luna only raised a tolerant eyebrow. "Okay, maybe just a little," she admitted catching Luna's stormy eyes.

"You are a wild thing Klark. But every wild thing needs a den in the winter and a mate to take comfort in."

Clarke stared at her with slightly open eyes wondering how much about Lexa and Clarke's history the woman knew. She had told the elderly woman of how they met from a clinical standpoint and had left out their more passionate encounters. Perhaps her feelings were more obvious than she thought. Sometimes, Clarke wished her heart did not want what it appeared to want.

The dancing around her drew more boisterous. Clarke politely refused another dance offer to stay at Luna's side. She felt too overwhelmed to take pleasure in the occasion.

"You should enjoy this Klark. One day this will be your life, if you choose it."

"What do you mean?" she asked off handily still preoccupied by the dancing around her.

"You must find your place. I will not be on this world forever."

Clarke turned at the change in tone from her mentor and snapped her gaze to Luna who was forcefully looking ahead. "Luna, what are you saying?" There was a slight tremble in her voice belaying her cool.

" _I am old and ill. You have much to learn and do before I die."_

"But the treatments," Clarke started a waver in her voice. Across the fire, her blue eyes connected to the hazel green of Lexa's. What Lexa saw must have startled her for her expression turned concerned.

"…Are not working." Luna faced Clarke with a worn but content smile. _"Do not fret, I have lived well. No doubt I have at least another summer, perhaps two. Before you leave, because you will be leaving with the Commander as I command_ Klark _of the Sky and Boat People, you must choose a second, along with a convoy. You must earn your title amongst us, as the Commander is the only one to grant you such privilege and entitlements."_

"Can a second have a second?" Clarke asked confused and forced her eyes to look somewhere other than Lexa. She knew she was going to leave her home in Leston at some point in order to return to Camp Jaha and with any luck rekindle the relationships she had left to decay. Clarke hoped they were still repairable.

" _You are not my second_ Klark _. I am training you to replace me."_

If possible Clarke's eyes grew wide, before a grim line formed on her lips and she nodded accepting the honor and her fate. While some part of her knew why Luna had been assessing and training her each day, it still came as a surprise. The Trigedakru selected their leaders differently, but the rules were less stringent among the different clans. Perhaps, some did see her as divinely gifted. Leading a clan meant responsibilities to an entire people, and it also meant releasing herself from the bonds of the Skaikru. Could she really give up her people to lead another clan? Clarke regarded Lexa's imposing form once more. Could she give up her people to rule under the woman who had betrayed her? Would she need to? Luna's offer felt more like an expected mandate.

At long last, her life was becoming clear and within a few moments it shifted drastically becoming complicated once more. What more would she need to sacrifice to finally live? When and where else could she feel as free as when she swam in the ocean and felt the warmth of the sun on her face?

Clarke stared into the fire and ignored the boisterous laughter amongst the crowd. In her heart, she knew what Luna said was true. But this celebration would last another few days, and for tonight she could afford to leave a little early. Clarke excused herself after she finished her drink. She waded through the crowd wanting nothing more to hold her son and breath in his scent and smiles. It was time to stop hiding.

But perhaps it could wait until tomorrow.

Hazel green eyes followed the blonde as she disappeared in the night. She was a great hunter and possessed ample patience. It was best to approach cautiously and with great care if one expected to earn the trust of a wild animal.

* * *

Early the next morning, Clarke found herself in city hall resuming one of her projects. She forcefully pulled away the sheet covering part of the wall and hiding her mural. It drifted lazily to the ground. She sniffed and sneezed twice at the dust produced and Jacob laughed. Clarke joined in and picked him up from his position on the ground surrounded by blankets. He was beginning to creep on a regular basis and even scoot. He was a little slow because of his right leg, but she assumed all babies were less than graceful when learning to maneuver in the environment. Clarke wondered how well he was going to crawl and if ambulation would be possible in the future.

She hugged him close as he waived his fists and grabbed her hair sticking a strand in his mouth to suck on. Clarke laughed and tugged her hair free with no small amount of tugging.

"Stop this," she shook her head and set him amongst his make shift play area. With the rate he was moving about, she might need to find a better way to keep him from scooting out of her sight. She made a note to keep a close eye on him as she painted.

"Mom needs to get this painting done."

She put her hands on her hips and gazed at the large wall wondering how the famous artists of the past constructed such masterpieces. Clarke had seen pictures of famous artists in books on the Ark. Everyone would see this painting when they entered city hall; she wanted to do it justice and make an appropriate representation.

The preliminary sketch was finished. Painting the mural was more challenging. There were so many colors and it was difficult to get the skyline just right. Clarke painted and repainted many times. She rubbed her noise and unknowingly smeared paint over the bridge.

"What do you think so far, yongon?"

She looked over to see him hands deep in her paints smearing his own mural on the floor. She laughed and wiped her hands on a cloth and picked him up lifting him in the air until he giggled.

"How did I get here?"

She stared into his eyes softly. His skin was soft and unmarked. To be young and innocent again. It seemed so long ago where she had so little to worry about. Her parents had sheltered her from a lot growing up, until the moment where they could not and the moment she decided to take a stand by her father.

Jacob's fingers feathered her cheek and she turned to kiss the fingers. Soft footfalls echoed in the hall. Clarke paid little attention as city hall was frequently visited throughout the day. Jacob's face turned looking over her shoulder and he gurgled reaching out behind her. Her shoulders tensed and she could not fathom why. With trepidation she turned and caught her breath.

For a moment they simply stared at one another.

Clarke bit her lip somewhat nervously. Being in Lexa's presence without the threat of war or the ogling eyes of a crowd was strangely intimate. There were so many things she wanted to say, but she found herself oddly silent. She wet her lips and Lexa was immediately drawn to the brief flash of pink tongue. Jacob struggled in her grip making him known and Lexa's gaze was immediately diverted to the small Floudonkru boy.

"So it is true" Lexa spoke taking in the struggling infant in Clarke's arms. Clarke shifted him to her opposite hip bouncing him.

Her jaw tensed immediately defensive. "What's true? That people are heartless and neglect and abandon innocent children?"

Lexa remained calm and Clarke was slightly disappointed for the lack of response. To be honest, Clarke wanted to get in one good blow and knock the aplomb clean off her face. She wanted her to feel, to know how it had felt to do what she had.

"That you have taken it upon yourself to see that justice is dealt." A small smile graced the leaders lips. She looked upon the righteous blue fire in the Skai girl's eyes clutching the child protectively. It was unwise to threaten a mother, animal or human. Lexa was an accomplished huntsman and knew the rules of the hunt very well. This was no different.

Lexa could not afford to further ostracize this woman. She needed her. There was a war coming. She trusted Clarke and wanted her at her side facing the enemy as before. Lexa had never felt so strong and powerful as when she captured Clarke's lips and gave the order for war in the next moment.

"Not everyone sees it that way." Clarke's eyes softened taken aback, although not ready to let down her guard.

"I may be heartless, but I am smart Clarke."

She said it so softly that Clark was unsure if she had heard her correctly. After she realized Lexa's words, she sucked in a small gasp of air as her throat tightened. She willed her eyes dry and if there was any sheen, it was a trick of the nearly cloudless day and the light reflecting from the sun shining through the pane windows.

Clarke cleared her throat lightly. "What are you doing here Lexa?" The question came off rough almost like a demand.

Lexa ignored the question as she walked past Clarke taking in the unfinished mural. Clarke watched somewhat insecure as the Commander silently viewed her painting. Drawing was a talent she possessed from a young age. In space, supplies were limited and any solid surface touched with charcoal had the ability to become a masterpiece.

"I was not aware you possessed such talent."

To hear such compliments from a hardened warrior and leader surprised her.

"I was not aware you considered such things a talent." Lexa paused and glanced at Clarke from the corner of her eye. "Isn't skill in battle more favorable?"

"Prowess in battle is favorable because it means survival, Clarke. Without these skills a warrior will not discover if they have other gifts." Her right hand rose hovering over a particular section that was still drying. "This is expression. This is life. This tells a story."

 _Maybe life should be more about surviving._

"And what story does it tell?" she asked curiously.

"Here, your life amongst the stars." Lexa gestured to a section filled with dark sky and twinkling stars and amongst it floated the Ark only recognizable to Clarke.

"It is desolate, quiet, and devoid of energy." She moved and Clarke followed raptly biting back her retorts. "Your fall to the ground and the first encampment of your people." The wooden sanctuary and first camp was yet to be painted, but the dark figures around it proved Lexa's theory.

"Here, your first kill in a cloud of yellow, and here, another." Lexa's fingers ghosted from one part of the mural to another. They followed the shadows in the cloud of acid fog, and the depictions of the grounders first seen through her eyes to where her hand brushed the drop ship and the flames burning corpses alive. "Where you proved yourself my adversary."

Her fingers stopped upon a door. It was a door Clarke had yet to paint, and had been saving for last. It was the entrance to Mount Weather. Lexa's hand dropped suddenly and her face leveled. Clarke saw her fingers clench and imagined that she was seeing the same moment in her mind then, the moment they had parted.

 _May we meet again._

Part of her, a very petty part, wanted to provoke the leader in this moment. To catch her unaware and vulnerable. But that would be assuming Lexa was capable of vulnerability. Clarke shook herself mentally. Of course she was. Lexa was human. At the moment of abandonment at the base of Mount Weather, was the most vulnerable she had ever seen Lexa. And the most conflicted.

Instead, Clarke swallowed and spoke evenly. "Luna invited me to paint this. She put tools in my hands and let me work freely. Working on it helps me think, or not think. It started out as something small, and it just kept growing, like it had a mind of its own."

Lexa nodded. _"You create will."_

" _I do not understand"_ she returned in Trigedasleng.

" _You impart will and desire into being. You impassion the people and create life from pictures and words. You possess many great talents,_ Klark _."_

Lexa's eyes burned into hers with gravity. It felt more than just a compliment about her artwork.

"Mochof." Just as Clarke was about to say more, exactly what she would not recall later, a guard from Lexa's procession approached and whispered in her ear.

Lexa nodded and spoke to him quickly in hushed Trigedasleng.

"I must go." She nodded to Clark quickly and almost hesitantly walked away after bestowing a nod and quick glance at the bundle in her arms.

Clarke was left standing alone feeling unsure with the entire encounter. She still wanted to strangle Lexa, but more metaphorically.

"My heads a mess" she sighed nuzzling Jacob. "What am I going to do?"

* * *

"You are doing quite well Thelonious. Might I offer you refreshment?"

He neither paused his work nor acknowledged her presence. If he did, he was fearful that he might succumb to her synthetic beauty as he had in the beginning. It was too good to be true. A beautiful home, safety and everything he could ever hope for provided on a moments notice with only one request.

"Thelonious? Are you well?" He clenched his jaw. "I'm sensing high levels of cortisol and epinephrine."

He braced as room temperature hands moved to his shoulders. A new trick of hers. She was vastly intelligent. The more human she appeared, the more he succumbed and she knew it.

"You are tense. Perhaps I might persuade you to rest?"

He nearly groaned as the hands eased the tension of his muscles. He tried to tell himself that it was not real; nothing about her was real. But this place, what he was doing, what she was asking him to do, was very real. And his friends and people were very real. All of them completely human and their fragile existence were in jeopardy. He was the one threatening the entirety of the human race. Sometimes he tried to forget, and sometimes he succeeded, but not today.

He was not fooled by her kindness. Optimal conditions of his body and mind were her primary directive, among other things.

He stood abruptly and her hands dropped idly to her sides against red chiffon. Always a red dress.

"I'm going to rest."

He did not want to see her calm and knowing smile. He counted it as a victory, but he knew it was only a matter of time. At least she needed him still. She could not afford to lose him. He found it amusing how she thought herself evolved beyond human beings, and yet required their services.

"…a living faith will last in the midst of the blackest storm."

Faith had brought him here; perhaps it would allow him to escape as well.

* * *

The celebration tonight was in full swing. If possible it was more exuberant than last evenings, and it had only just begun. Clarke bounced Jacob on her knee from her seat at Luna's side and on the other side sat Lexa. She tried to relax as Jacob was prone to fuss when her moods were unsteady. She was unsure about bringing him, especially after the events at city hall, but India said nothing would be a miss and she was bringing her youngest this evening as well. In fact, there were children everywhere.

Clarke was wearing a similar garb as when the convey arrived yesterday, but instead of a leather breast plate and shoulder covering, it was made of some light but durable metal of a dusty gold coloring. The color of the dress was also a shade of blue she favored.

The meal had yet to be served, and would not until Lexa lit the ceremonial bonfire signifying the unity of the Coalition. Clarke could not help sneaking glances at her; she was an imposing figure. She wore paint around her eyes, different from her typical war shade, but it made her look mysterious and powerful rather than frightening. A small golden circlet covered her forehead and her neck seemed impossibly long with the wide shoulders of her dark jacket.

As Lexa held up her hand the guards silenced the crowd. Jacob began to fuss and Clarke bounced him against her knee to calm him, but his sniffles could still be heard. Her cheeks reddened when Lexa raised a delicate eyebrow, but Clarke set her chin stubbornly and tucked him against her breast. Lexa smirked and walked to the unlit bonfire receiving a large torch from one of her men. Turning, she addressed the crowd. Her silhouette was bright in the moonlight.

" _People of Leston. In fire, we cleanse the pain of the past and in fire we are reborn anew. Once, we were separate, divided by war, but no longer. Today we celebrate the forging of the Coalition and remember the sacrifices of the dead and those of the living that allow us to gather the strength required to defeat our enemies."_

Her voice grew loud and ardent and the crowd roared in response encouraged by her powerful words. Clarke could not take her eyes away from the dark beauty. She had forgotten how magnetic her presence was. Lexa's hand drew up sharply and a hush fell over the populace.

Her voice thundered loudly in the night. _"We have saved our people from the clutches of the Men under the Mountain."_ More cheers followed. _"They will no longer threaten the lives of our children."_

 _Victory stands on the back of sacrifice._

Clarke was happy that the Trigedakru felt safe once more, even at the cost of innocent lives. They would never know of people like Maya who had fought for their lives. Clarke vowed to tell them one day, and let the memories of the kind souls live on.

 _None of us is innocent._

Few people asked how peace was obtained. Many of them would never know the sacrifices their leaders made to ensure their safety, to protect their families. Clarke stared hard at Lexa and her eyes softened briefly. Great leaders were called, and also made in times of desperation. Clarke had been desperate when she pulled the lever that irradiated level five.

 _I bear it so they don't have to._

Lexa's hazel eyes met Clarke's unwavering blue. There was something determined and indecisive in her eyes, but Clarke could think of little that would make the Commander hesitate.

" _And they never will again."_ Lexa spoke quietly, and Clarke imagined it was directly to her. Her voice rose once more and scanned each face. _"For among us is a fierce warrior, a star that fell from the sky in a ball of fire and burned our enemies until they were no more!"_

The voices rose and Clarke shifted uncomfortably at the eyes landing upon her.

" _Sit still, be strong."_ Luna ordered from besides her and Clarke buried her fingers into her thighs instead.

"To celebrate our forging, it is my will that the leader of the Sky People commence the festivities."

The sudden switch to English caught her attention first, and in the next moment the words registered. Luna had prepared her for this moment, but still Clarke was surprised. It was considered a great honor to stand besides the Commander as a unified front to kindle the flames of unity. As she understood, it was customary for Lexa to perform the act unaccompanied.

India's voice and gentle arms taking Jacob stirred Clarke into action. She stood calmly and walked towards Lexa as the onlookers were strangely quiet. She ignored Luna's approving gaze and Rebekah's awful expression as she passed. She never once took her eyes away from the woman before her. Lexa held the torch beseechingly and their hands brushed as Clarke accepted the burning flame. Her eyes furrowed as Lexa refused to relinquish the torch. She realized by the look in her eyes that Lexa was not going to let go anytime soon. The flame was warm against her face.

Filling her lungs with air, she raised her voice and thought of her friends and family. She thought of the unending cycle of destruction and chaos that somehow belonged to the race of human beings and the beauty and innocence worth preserving.

" _An enemy has been defeated, not by one hand, but because of many. United we stand strong. We have learned to save ourselves by refusing to yield even as we are beaten and unable to stand. May our fight be long and our hearts never falter."_

Together, hands overlapping, they lit the bonfire.

* * *

AN: Thank you for following and reviewing. I greatly appreciate all of you. I look forward to hearing from you and I hope you enjoy the next few chapters filled with Clexa.

There are dark shadows on the earth, but its lights are stronger in the contrast.

-Charles Dickens

If patience is worth anything, it must endure to the end of time. And a living faith will last in the midst of the blackest storm.

Mahatma Gandhi

* * *

Translations

Chon ste der- who is there

Mochof- thank you

Ai laik Klark kom Skaikru – I am Clark of the Sky People

Skai prisa – sky princess

Ai badan yu op en nou moun – I serve you and no other

Yu laik yuj- You are strong

Hod op- wait

Shop of – quiet

Jus drein jus daun- blood must have blood

Floudonkru – Boat people

Your fight is not over - Yu gonplei ste nou odon

Splita-outcast, outsider,

Hosa-horse, rider

Skayon-Sky person, arker

Sen in –hear, listen

Sad kiln-make a firm choice, decide clearly

Pleni-enough

Nami-feel me? Know what I mean, understand?

Mounin- welcome

Houmon- wife, husband, spouse

Haukom- how come, why

Heya, hei- hi, hello,

Gon we- leave, go away

Fisa-healer

Chil daun-stand down

Azgeda – Ice nation

Yumi-you and I, you and me

Yongon, ones own child, young one

Hod in- love,

Hodnes- in love


	8. Chapter 8

" _Trigedasleng"_

Trust me, you did not want this a few days ago. I read this a few times trying to make it flow. Hopefully, you enjoy it. This may contain one pivotal confrontation between two very complex female characters…I really wanted this to be powerful but I'm not sure how it turned out. Enjoy and please review! Let's see how many we can get. Reviews make me write faster! And try to give Clarke a break. She's finally getting her anger out at the person intended.

* * *

The night dragged on and Clarke danced with friends warmed by the one drink she had allowed herself. She was a mother now, and while she wanted to do right by her son, she was also an 18 year-old girl. She was closer to 19 than 18 now. Clarke swept her sweaty brow and took Jacob into her arms from an older woman who had been rocking him as she enjoyed one last dance for the evening. It felt good to laugh and forget everything for a little while. Here senses thrived on the high of alcohol in her system, the beating of drums, heat from the fire warming her cheeks, and the mass of bodies dancing in time. It also made Lexa's imposing presence fade into the background, although she was never far from the forefront of her thoughts. It was difficult not to be aware of such a presence.

Few spoke to her, and Clarke wondered if the Floudonkru were afraid, until Rebekah's younger sister snuck up and pulled on the side of Lexa's sleeve. To her surprise Lexa leaned over as the girl whispered excitedly in her ear. In the next moment, Lexa lifted Rebekah's sister as if she had done so a hundred times. The child proceeded to twist her hands in the Commanders braids, and tousle her blouse and colorful ceremonial adornments. Despite the familiarity, the leader's countenance remained calm and surprisingly engaging.

Clarke had never seen Lexa behave in such fashion, almost as if she personally knew the girl. She supposed that as Heda most people knew of her and her prowess. Clarke scoffed into her drink. She was not the leader of the Trigedakru and most knew of _her_. Children frequently ran up to Clarke more than she was comfortable. But as she watched a small upturn of Lexa's lips replace a frown, Clarke wondered how well she actually knew Trigedakru Commander. She knew the way her callused hands felt, and the way she tasted. Lexa was also calculating and shrewd. Clarke had once called her cold and unfeeling.

 _Love is weakness._

Clarke clenched her teeth and the grip on Jacob's bottle tightened. Lexa's gaze flickered to her own and her chin rose minutely. Lexa's hand dropped tangled in the child's hair to settle in her lap. Clarke's eyes turned stony, and Lexa broke the trance turning her attention back to the child. She considered it a victory.

One way or another, she was going to make Lexa acknowledge her treachery. Her heart clenched remembering how the green-eyed woman had abandoned her at her most vulnerable. She would make her feel devastated and double-crossed, just as she had.

* * *

The lateness of the hour did not go by unnoticed. Clarke stayed far longer than she anticipated at the celebration. Eventually, as India ushered her children, and even little Jacob home, she felt the fatigue of the day and exhaustion over her own emotions. Enough time had been spent reflecting on the past. Even the almighty Heda of the Trigedakru departed after the celebration turned to favor the more inebriated. Thus, Clarke made her rounds and said farewell to her friends and admirers and left to join her surrogate family.

Her steps faltered due to the lateness of the evening in combination with the small amount of alcohol and the weariness of her mind. Colt remained by her side and grabbed her elbow. He steadied her and as she caught her footing in the brush. Clarke smiled in thanks and patted his arm affectionately. He shook his head but she caught the small upturn of his lips as he allowed her purchase of his arm for the remainder of the walk home.

It was difficult, impossible almost, to get this warrior to lighten up and relax. She had hardly seen him all evening, but had felt his presence weaving through the crowd, always at her side, even if unseen. Clarke found it more than a little creepy at first, but over time it became endearing. It was also one of the ways he coped with the expanse of people in her daily life. There were times where her social life was overwhelming and even she wanted a break.

She smiled ruefully, wrapping her hand around his left bicep more fully as they continued towards home. It almost felt like she was the popular girl on the Ark once more. At one point, Clarke had a large group of friends and had been content with her life, and adored her parents blindly unaware of their faults. Clarke thought she was going to make life on the Ark better for everyone. In some aspects, she accomplished that by blasting through the atmosphere and being amongst the first of the Arkers to set foot on the ground proving life was possible on Earth.

At last, they entered the modest home in good if tired spirits.

"Hei," she greeted softly not wishing to rouse the children who were likely asleep.

Clarke released Colt and turned loosening her clothing. She was lost in her own mind and wanted to take off the plate at her breast and change into something lax and more comfortable. She brushed a strand of hair away from her face and turned at India's light footsteps.

" _Thanks for taking Jacob tonight, I promise not to-"_

Her sentence ceased abruptly at meeting not India but the Commander. Her shoulders tensed and her mouth opened once before firming into a thin line.

"What are you doing here?" The question was devoid of emotion.

Coltrane reacted immediately and stepped to her side. Intending to hold him back she raised her hand but was surprised when he fell to one knee in front of Lexa.

"Heda."

Clarke's incredulity furthered and transformed swiftly into anger when Lexa nodded in acknowledgment.

" _You have pleased me. Now leave us."_

Coltrane rose from his position and Clarke grabbed his arm before he could leave.

"No, I'd rather you stay," she said firmly. "You have some explaining do."

Her ire fueled as he looked to Lexa for permission. Instead of responding, it was Lexa who clarified.

"He was sent to protect you Clarke."

She was more than confused. "Protect me?" Just what did that even mean? How was it that there were still so many secrets and lies around her? She considered Coltrane a friend at the very least. Just when she learned to trust again she found herself once again a fool.

"Just who are you to decide if I need protection?" Her voice rose steadily. "If you wanted to protect me you wouldn't have left me and my people to die at Mount Weather! You don't get to come here and intrude on this family even if you are the Commander," she quarreled.

Her exclamation drew footsteps and both India and Liam appeared around the corner with Rebekah holding her fussing younger brother. Clarke was immediately incensed that her peace and friends were disturbed. How dare Lexa come into this sanctuary and disrupt it; how dare she show her face.

"Clarke," India's voice interrupted softly.

Clarke's body was on fire, her very being vibrated with rage.

Lexa shook her head and dismissed the woman's concern. "She is right."

The momentary satisfaction at hearing those words was short lived.

"That is enough Clarke," Liam stepped forward.

Clarke glanced at his serious expression and backed down. Her chest heaved taking in air and she did not realize how exerting it was to express such anger. She thought she had dealt with her resentment, but coming face to face with the reason for her current circumstance changed everything.

"You don't understand, you don't know what she's done." What I have done she wanted to add but not knowing how.

" _Do not speak foolishly of what you do not understand."_ She stared blinking at his bold statement. Liam was not one to curtail words, and normally she appreciated it but not in front of Lexa. He came from behind and rested a hand upon Lexa's shoulder, a familiarity that Clarke saw others die for.

"Heda is welcome in our home."

"What?" she asked stupidly not comprehending.

"Liam, is my elder brother" Lexa enlightened.

Clarke stopped cold and felt almost as torn and betrayed as she had at the base of mount Weather. It all made a strange sort of sense. Whatever the reason, Lexa sent Coltrane to protect, or more likely spy on her. If Clarke had betrayed an ally she would expect retaliation. She would want to keep her newfound enemies close just in case they were angry enough to do something stupid. Of course, Lexa would think Clarke needed to be followed and kept close under surveillance. She was a cold-hearted martinet.

Coltrane led her to Leston, a city where she not only ruled over, but also had intimate ties. Loyal family members made the best spies. How much of her current life was real? Or was it all a lie? Clarke clung to what semblance of truth she could. All she knew was that she had one person in the world that still loved her, relied on her and technically was not able to speak and thus unable to lie. It was a pitiful thought but she ignored it.

"Clarke, what are you doing?" India asked as she made her way to where Jacob usually slept.

"We're leaving." Her words were brief as she lifted a sleeping Jacob away from his basinet.

"Where?" Clarke avoided Rebekah's eyes, finally seeing the resemblance to Lexa for the first time and wishing she did not.

"I don't know, Amelia's probably." Jacob shifted in her arms and she rocked him trying to keep him from waking.

"Do not be rash Clarke," Lexa's voice was soft.

 _Do not be a fool Clarke._

Clarke bristled and held onto Jacob tighter. Determinedly, she walked towards the entrance only to be stopped by Liam.

"Out of my way. You can't keep me here."

" _It is late and you are angry and tired. I understand, but do not let your son suffer for this."_

He gestured behind him and India approached with her arms reaching and Clarke immediately widened her eyes as her heart raced. They were trying to take him from her.

"No," she whispered embarrassed by the fearful tone.

" _Shh, Clarke. He will be here in the morning. But you should not leave with him in the middle of the night upset. You know this."_ India attempted to calm her.

She clutched Jacob to her breast and stared at his closed eyelids. His face blurred and she inhaled quickly urging herself not to cry, especially not in front of them. She did not want to admit that they were correct. She was upset, more than upset at these people, but in her heart she knew she could trust them with Jacob. Clarke was not in the best state of mind and it was irrational to leave with an infant at such a late hour.

Reluctantly, she relinquished her prized possession, knowing it was for the best at least until she calmed down. Either way, she needed to leave before she took a swing at Lexa in front of witnesses. The woman was the Commander of twelve clans, and she did not have a death wish.

Clarke marched through the entrance and stopped when Coltrane meant to follow. "You will not follow me," she hissed before storming away. Good thing it was a nice evening for a walk.

India laid Jacob in his basinet before ushering Rebekah and her middle child back to sleep while avoiding Rebekah's questions.

" _I apologize Heda,"_ Liam began.

" _Since when do you use such formality?"_ Lexa raised an eyebrow.

" _Since it is necessary."_

" _No matter. It was my presence that upset her"_ Lexa paused for a moment. _"And I must speak with her in private. We have many things to discuss."_

Hopefully, there would be a discussion and not a blood bath.

* * *

The night held a small amount of chill. It was fall, but still warm in the middle of the day when the sun was at its highest. The sun was no longer bearing down, and reddening of the skin was not a concern. Or it would not have been, if her skin were not so fare. Clarke had spent many hours on the Ark dreaming of what the air would smell like and how the warmth of the sun would feel against her skin. She had little concept of how irritating or painful it would be to feel her skin peal under the harsh ultraviolent rays.

Now there was nothing but the moon in the sky. The moon and the stars. She often felt lost since coming to the ground. In those moments she would gaze into the sky and wonder what life would be like if she had never come to Earth-if the air cycle could have been fixed and if both of her parents were still alive and well. She would have finished school, and taken a full time position with her mother as her apprentice, learning the trade of medicine and training to take over her post. Following this path ensured that Clarke would have continued to live an esteemed and privileged life on the Ark.

She laughed at herself irritated with her sudden homesickness. She was not sure what she was homesick for. Was she yearning to live amongst the stars, a prisoner of space, or did she yearn for simplicity? If she wanted simplicity she could have stayed floating in space. Instead, she found herself in a complex situation, where survival was neither black nor white. Nor was life in the varying shades of grey that she used for her drawings while trapped in her cell. On Earth, the colors were blinding, and the choices never easy.

Still, Clarke sighed and leaned back in the coarse sand. In this moment there was only she, the ocean, the moon, and the stars in the sky. She closed her eyes and willed the screams of the dead to stay dead.

 _The living are hungry._

How could she have been so stupid? So utterly naïve as to think that she had rebuilt her life? She had been living in Leston for four months. She had formed relationships, trust with these people, only to discover she was living under false pretenses. It appeared that everyone wanted something from her. When would the begging hands and mouths stop? Or the voices yelling at her to make a decision and then those that berated her immediately after such difficult choices were made?

Rebekah was Lexa's niece. Clarke had saved the Heda's niece and took up residence with her brother and his wife and family. She scoffed and shook her head in the sand musing the blonde tresses. Clarke rubbed the bridge of her nose. Lexa had also sent Coltrane to protect her. Protect, or to spy? It was difficult to say. If Lexa had been spying, or keeping close watch on her through Coltrane and her relatives then Lexa knew Clarke had nothing to hide. She was not plotting vengeance or raising an army. On one hand she felt surrounded in a world of make believe of Lexa's construction. According to Liam, Lexa was assisting the Skaikru. She was doing more than that, she was providing for them, gifting them with food, supplies, and protection. Much like Luna had provided for Clarke in Leston.

With a groan she turned her cheek in the sand. Clarke did not want to know if Luna was involved with the deceit, but the woman was always more perceptive than she let on, and especially insightful when it came to Clarke and Lexa's history. Lexa was shrouded in layers, and Clarke wondered how her younger self had trusted her so completely.

Her fingers gripped the sand and she felt the grittiness of it beneath her fingernails. She would not be fooled again. Her trust would not be so easily acquired, not by anyone.

The wind ruffled the trees but it did not hide the sound of footsteps shifting in the sand. Clarke snapped her eyes open. She dared not move and instead analyzed the soft footfalls. She smoothed her skirts and traveled her hand over her thighs where her dagger hid. Clarke was very careful not to move until her guest was close enough. Her months of training and survival skills urged her to remain still.

One step followed another. They were slow and methodical, almost as if approaching a wild animal. She recalled Luna naming her similarly not long ago. Clarke gripped the handle of the knife and took a breath. On the next footfall she leapt from the ground intending to disable her interloper.

Her left hand charged with the knife to distract from her right fist aiming for the gut. She startled her opponent and sliced through fabric, but they easily deflected her fist and used her unstable footing to bring her to the ground. Her attacker expected her to stay down stunned, but she rolled them and sat upon their stomach pinning them while heaving large gulps of air. Her mind clouded with adrenaline and she was poised to strike again when her vision cleared and a voice called her name.

"Clarke!"

Her mind cleared at the sharp, but familiar use of her name. Her vision deciphered alarmed and concerned green eyes. Lexa's face swam into view and too suddenly her adrenaline dissipated and her arms braced on either side of Lexa's face to keep her from collapsing.

" _Are you well?"_ Lexa's voice carried. Soft hands feathered over Clarke's face in what she perceived as concern.

Clarke's eyes snapped to Lexa's and for a moment they did nothing. Callused fingers brushed sand from her cheek. Clarke was the first to break and rolled herself off of Lexa and stumbled to her feet. Lexa followed her display shortly after.

" _What do you want Lexa?"_

" _Your Trigedasleng is impressive"_ came her unruffled response.

"Answer the question," she stated firmly ignoring the oddly placed compliment.

"We have many things to speak of Clarke."

"What if I don't want to speak with you? Did it ever occur to you that I want to get away from this?" She gestured widely with her hands. "To get away from you, from your betrayal?" She added quietly. "Instead you went behind my back. Sound familiar?"

"They had nothing to do with-."

Clarke scoffed. "Coltrane led me here! To this very city because you felt you needed to _protect_ me." Her tone clearly projected her disbelief.

"You do." Lexa's voice penetrated through Clarke's thoughts. "There are other threats on the ground that you have not yet had to face."

"Like what?" She could not imagine an enemy more conflicting than the Mountain Men.

" _Azgeda."_

Clarke frowned roughly translating the word. Ice nation. She thought back to her original trek through the woods and the warriors she saved Rebekah from. There were so many things she wanted to ask; but her anger kept her from inquiring about a possible new threat. There were too many demons buried between them. Too many dead innocents.

"How can you expect me to believe anything you say after what you did?"

" _The past is the past."_

"Bullshit. You knew what you were doing. You left us there to die at the base of that mountain. You could have stayed, why didn't you stay Lexa?" Clarke's throat tightened and she was surprised at how good it felt to let go of her anger and express her insecurities.

" _We are what we are, Clarke._ I had to do what I thought was best, for my people."

"Your people, my people, I thought they were our people! You left me there and I - do you know what I had to do because you left us?" Clarke cried out in the night. "I killed innocent people, children!"

In a moment of rage she swung her fist and backhanded Lexa. The woman neither cried out nor retaliated. The gathering redness to her tan cheek surprised Clarke, and after a second the leader turned her face, her eyes accepting but also holding back intense emotion.

"Why did you?" Clarke stuttered wondering why Lexa had allowed her blow to land.

"You are allowed one. I owe you that." Her eyes shifted to the knife still held in Clarke's left hand. "Why didn't you?" She nodded to the knife and Clarke flickered to the handle she still held. She was unsure if Lexa was asking why she had kept the knife she had gifted her or why she had not stabbed her with it.

"I don't know." She did not know either answer. "It's probably weakness."

"I told you that you do not possess weakness. It is I that was weak, Clarke."

 _Love is weakness._

Lexa closed the distance between them and grasped the hand holding the knife. "I do not believe in regrets, Clarke. But I am sorry for what you had to do. I should have been there besides you. If I was stronger, perhaps things would have been different."

Clarke's eyes widened in astonishment and a few tears escaped her eyes. Lexa pried the knife from her hand and sheathed it safely at Clarke's waist securing it with a fastening from her own frock, the one that she had shorn moments ago.

"Then why?"

" _Such bonds cannot be forged in a matter of weeks."_ Lexa whispered her eyes dark.

Clarke's hands fisted as she felt her heart clench. "Of course they aren't."

"Amongst our people, Clarke." She looked up fearful of the emotions displayed on her face.

Lexa stepped closer, their chests nearly touching. "I was given an opportunity, one that I could not refuse given my station. As a leader, we are only given the power that our people gift us with. If I had chosen to stay and fight, rather than rescue my people, questions would have been raised."

Clarke closed her eyes and tried not to relish at the sensation of hands whispering into her hair.

"My heart felt like it was breaking." Their foreheads touched but Clarke's hands stayed firmly at her side.

"I need you trust me, Clarke. Our people are in danger."

"I don't think I can."

 _You_ _say having feelings makes me_ _weak_ _, but_ _you_ _'re_ _weak_ _for_ _hiding from them_ _._

"I will earn your trust." A thumb brushed her cheek and Clarke slowly raised trembling hands to Lexa's waist. " _I wish this more than anything._ I swear to you, that from this moment forth we are allies. I shall make no decisions that might affect you or your people without your consent. You have my word on this."

"What will keep you from breaking your word?" Clarke's eyes opened and she moved away to meet Lexa's hazel green. Lexa's hands drifted back to Clarke's waist.

"You are the Skai Prisa. My people love you almost as much as they fear you."

"Somehow I doubt that."

" _The Skai Prisa is a vengeful star from the heavens. Her radiance overwhelmed the sky, and she fell to the ground to wreak havoc and shed blood upon the unworthy."_

"It sounds like poetry or a fable in a story." After a pause, she questioned hesitantly. "Is that what they really believe? The reason they call me Skai Prisa?"

"They heard your people name you this. Your actions made them love your heart and fear your wrath. It is what they say about you in Polis."

They stood in silence for a moment listening to the waves crash along the shore.

"Luna said I was a wild thing."

"You may be that as well."

" _Powerful words, powerful intent"_ Clarke recited."I don't have the power of a star. I've been trying to be strong..."

"Until you realize your strength, and even when you have found it, I will be here. I will not leave you to fight your enemies alone. Your enemies are my enemies. I will wait until you have faith in me. Our lives and our peoples lives depend on it." Clarke felt Lexa's grip tighten. "I've got you Clarke."

Lexa's steady hands ghosted upon her cheek once more and Clarke could do nothing but hold her gaze searching for the truth in her words and wishing she could believe them.

* * *

Review!


	9. Chapter 9

Yay for a quick update? A lot of conversation, and Clarke coming to grips with how things are going to be. A glimpse into her future as well. Please update because at least ten reviews per chapter means faster updates for you!

* * *

 _Trigedasleng_

* * *

True to her word Clarke collected Jacob just past sunrise. She refused conversation, just as she had refused to speak with Lexa further regarding the threat to their people after their emotional confrontation. She let herself have that one moment of weakness with the green-eyed woman. For a long time after, they sat upon the beach listening to the waves crash without a word spoken between them. It was calm and the tension eased between them with Lexa's obscure apology hanging in the air, until she attempted to broach the subject of the Azgeda.

The Ice Nation was one of the twelve clans, a member of the Coalition and also rival of the Trikru. Clarke knew of the twelve clans due to Luna's schooling, but the Ice Nation was a clan shrouded in mystery. Very little was known of them. They had strict rules in regards to consorting with the other clans. Trade was limited, as was travel. What she knew of the Ice Nation's leader was even less. Luna refused to speak of few things, and this topic was one of them.

Of a few things she was certain. One was that the Azgeda leader captured and beheaded the one woman Lexa had ever loved. The second being that two of the Azgeda's emissary's were killed in the attack on Tondc, an attack that Lexa and herself had allowed to transpire. At the time, she considered Tondc's sacrifice a necessary evil, one that weighed almost as heavily as the lives lost within Mount Weather. The politics within the Trigedakru had not concerned her. Now, she found herself imbedded within them and wondered how much further entangled she would become.

Leaving Lexa at sunrise was easier than she thought.

" _We have things to discuss, Klark."_

Clarke had paused without looking back. Her mind was focused on retrieving Jacob and heading to Amelia's. _"It can wait."_

" _It cannot wait for much longer."_

Clarke said little to Liam and his family as she gathered the essentials. She ignored their questioning and unapologetic eyes. However saddened they appeared their loyalty was to their Commander. She brought herself to Amelia's dwelling and knocked knowing they were up by the smoke exiting the home. As far as she knew, Amelia had never born children. Her and her husband lived quietly, and were somewhat reclusive compared to the other members of the Floudonkru she was familiar with.

Her husband, Jonah, opened the entrance to the modest dwelling. He was dressed for a days work on the boats his people were named for with fishing nets and hooks. His beard held patches of grey, and his hair was peppered. The hands holding his tools were weathered but strong.

" _Good morning. I am sorry to disturb your family, but-"_

In that moment, his dark skinned wife put a hand to his shoulder. Jonah turned giving his wife room, and Clarke smiled tiredly.

" _Could we impose on you for a few days?"_ she asked bluntly adjusting the pack on her shoulder and holding up Jacob.

Amelia reached for Jacob and Jonah kissed his wife's cheek and nodded to Clarke, taking his leave for the day.

" _Come in Skai Prisa. Let us find you something to eat."_

Clarke closed the door behind her and set her pack down. She took a seat and dropped her head onto folded arms after lying Jacob on the floor. He immediately began to explore the new territory. She smiled at his improved crawling and the fact that he was operating his right leg with more ease. Amelia placed a modest breakfast in front of her. Not to appear rude, she began to eat despite the unease of her stomach. Between bites of food, she relayed the last day to Amelia. Amelia was quiet, and listened attentively without asking a single question. She appeared neither surprised nor confused with any of this information.

"What will you do now?" she asked once Clarke had finished.

"I don't know." Clarke's hair felt in need of a good wash. The braids were helplessly tangled and she was fairly sure sand was lodged in her ears.

"I need to find out how much Luna knows." With an almost wary but piercing stare she turned her full attention to the Floudonkru woman. "How much do you know?"

"Heda's family is well known." Clarke closed her eyes for a brief moment. Of course they were. "When the next Heda is called upon the family is compensated. Heda was called as a young girl, even prior her position as Anya's second."

"Compensated?" She questioned her brows furrowed.

"The position of Heda is not a long lived one" Amelia said carefully.

Clarke took a moment to reflect on this knowledge. It made sense, and it was a sobering thought and one she felt Lexa was aware of. With great power also came a very large target on your head. She thought back to the pictures the Mountain Men had of her and Lexa when they were trying to assassinate them.

"But that would also mean she was Heda when she was Anya's second."

Amelia nodded. "Yes, because of her inexperience in this life, despite the spirit of Heda that lived inside of her, it was decided she would serve as a second until she was deemed ready. It also ensured that the Heda would not die needlessly."

Clarke swallowed thickly. It was difficult to imagine that Lexa's entire life was designed from an early age. "How do you know so much?"

Amelia quieted and assisted with Jacob's attempts at pulling himself to stand with the use of a chair. Clarke eyed him proudly even as he fell on his rump.

"Jonah," she began. "He was born in Polis. It is also the original city of the Trikru, and once Heda united the twelve clans, it became the crown of our civilization. It is also where Heda was born."

Clarke listened taking in this new information. "I don't understand why she chose now. She knew I was here the entire time. Luna told her, I know she did. But what I don't understand is why now?"

At this question Amelia averted her eyes. "You know something don't you?"

"There is much dissent within the clans."

Clarke nodded acknowledging her statement. "What I don't understand is why. Is it because of the Azgeda?"

"Yes and no," she responded hesitantly.

"Amelia, if you know something, you must tell me, please."

Amelia met her eyes somberly. "You are new to this life on the ground. You have become a formidable leader within our world. Your actions at Mount Weather have made you a legend and have caused others to question Heda. They say she is weak for accepting the bargain."

"What else do they say?" Clarke asked with bated breath.

"They say you were sent to Earth to pass judgment on the wicked and Heda has displeased you."

"Damn right she has," Clarke muttered angrily.

Amelia shook her head. "You misunderstand."

"Then enlighten me." Amelia hesitated and Clarke realized she was afraid to speak. "I won't tell anyone. You have nothing to fear from me."

Amelia considered her words. "There are…people who believe that the Heavens sent you to rectify the wrongs Heda has failed to protect us from. And now that she has wronged the heavens, she should not be in power and is no longer qualified to rule."

Clarke thought it fitting that Lexa's argument for abandoning her was fear of retribution from her people.

"She needs me." Amelia eyed her curiously. "Lexa told me that she wanted us to be allies again. No wonder, she can't control her own people let alone her armies and she thinks my approval will regain the trust of hers."

Clarke turned towards Amelia. "Am I right?"

"You are not wrong." Amelia's eyes were deliberating.

"But what does she need me for? She mentioned a threat to our people, both the Trigedakru and the Skaikru. Do you know anything about that?"

Amelia did not respond, and Clarke shook her head. "I don't expect you to. You're not one of her generals."

Clarke cooed at Jacob as he gurgled and pulled himself up and proceeded to cruise along the furniture. He was de-weighted on his right leg as much as possible as he moved. Clarke stabilized him and guided his right leg, increasing the weight bearing on his less developed limb. He stumbled but she supported his torso and facilitated his next step with tactile cues.

"I am not one of Heda's generals, but I was a general once." Clarke furrowed her brow. "I do not speak of it. It is why I have never born children."

"I thought that was…a choice?"

She nodded. "It was at the time, but I was young." Amelia closed her eyes, and Clarke had never seen her so…pained. "I was not born in Leston, or in Polis as my husband." She took a steadying breath and Clarke waited, feeling that this was private information and unwilling to pry.

"I was of the Azgeda and an esteemed member of the court of Queen Nia."

Clarke blinked. "The ruler of the Ice Nation."

Amelia nodded. "My family was of noble blood, and we were privileged. I grew enamored with the Queen, and swore myself to her. I chose to enter into her service as her personal guards instead of marry. My parents were honored. You must be chosen for such a task" Amelia clarified.

"What does this have to do with children?" Clarke asked not wishing to be rude or devalue her tale.

"I held a position that required barrenness."

"The Queen requires her generals to have a hysterectomy?" At Amelia's confused expression Clarke rephrased. "An operation to remove the female reproductive system." Technology on the ground was crude at best, besides that of the Mountain Men. She shuddered to think of how they performed a hysterectomy without sterile procedures. "Why would she ask this of you?"

"No life is above the Queen. Those in her personal employ do not have the ability to create a successor." Clarke shuddered to think of such a ruler. No life could be more important than that of the Queen, even a potential life. Therefore, all hope for a family or a life beyond that of the Queen were removed, permanently.

She held Jacob close ignoring his audible complaints at being disturbed from climbing furniture.

"She maintains power by pouring fear into her subjects. She is ruthless, cunning, ambitious." Her eyes glazed seeing into a different life, a time long ago. "She is also charismatic. I felt such love and admiration for her."

"What changed?" Clarke whispered.

"I defected and fled to Polis seeking sanctuary, and then I met Jonah."

Amelia's dark eyes narrowed and her jaw clenched. "I saw what she truly was. A monster. She tortured an innocent, and beheaded her out of spite. I put the woman's head in a bag for a messenger to deliver to her lover."

Clarke went cold. "Costia?" Amelia nodded slowly after meeting her gaze. "And Lexa's know this?" Lexa seemed like the type of person to take revenge on her enemies.

"She does."

"And she didn't kill you," she said it awkwardly and somewhat disbelievingly.

"I was detained and questioned relentlessly, tortured to an extent, but it was small in comparison to what I had already suffered at the hands of my Queen, and what would happen should they find me."

"Do you know what happened to your family?" she could not help but wonder. This woman's story intrigued her. Amelia had suffered greatly and her ability to reconnect and continue to live inspired something that had been long buried within Clarke since she had pulled that lever in the mountain and irradiated level five.

"Most likely dead for my betrayal."

Her voice was like steel, and Clarke could not resist laying a comforting hand to the woman's forearm. "You did what you thought was best."

"As did you, Clarke." Amelia's hand covered her own. "We must always do what is best. It is not always the easiest way, and sometimes our loved ones suffer, but to sit idly by and do nothing, that is not in our nature. It is especially not in your nature Skai Prisa."

Amelia ran a thumb along Clarke's brow reverently. "Heda needs your strength to unite our people. She united with the Azgeda for fear of the Mountain Men."

The idea dawned in Clarke's mind rapidly. "But I eliminated the threat." Amelia nodded once more. "Lexa's trying to secure an alliance with the Skaikru before the Azgeda does."

"Now you understand." Amelia smiled proud that Clarke had finally drawn the conclusion she had. "Your people have the ability to use their technology."

"They wouldn't." Clarke refuted immediately but doubt plagued her. If her mother was the one leading….but she had left Bellamy in charge and she felt confidant that he would never let their people turn into the very thing they had destroyed. Bellamy always did what was required of him. They had traded time and time again being each other's moral compass since landing on Earth.

Jacob began to cry in her lap, and Clarke realized that she was in a more precarious position than she originally realized. If she did not ally with Lexa, she would be turning her back upon a people she had grown to love as dearly as her own. She also knew very little about the current state of the Skaikru so displaced was she from them. She also knew very little of the Ice Nation and their Queen. It was either ally with Lexa or Queen Nia. Accounts of Queen Nia did not inspire Clarke to seek her out as a potential ally. It was dangerous to leave her people vulnerable.

As she willed Jacob quiet, and failed, she realized that there was other avenues Lexa could use to force her into submission. In her heart, she felt the Commander would not do such a thing as to use a child against her, but she had been wrong before. What she needed was to construct her own protection for her people, for all of them and eliminate the threat. Or at least form a formidable empire and army to defend if needed and retaliate if necessary. The idea sounded mad and impossible at best.

The very idea was giving her a headache. Moves and counter moves. She missed playing the fun kind of chess on the Ark with Wells.

"I need an army" she sighed using her shirt to wipe Jacob's tears and snot. She no longer cared whether she could trust Amelia. She was going to find her way through this one way or another.

"You have more of one than you think" Amelia said slowly, cautiously.

Clarke lowered her voice, sensing the careful words and dangerous territory they were heading. "Skaikru?"

"They are those…" she began, "who might wish to fight for a woman they believe worthy. Those who feel wronged of the doings of their current leader and wish to be free of all threats."

"I can't ask people to throw away their lives for me." Clarke responded slowly unsure of Amelia's exact meaning.

"Not just for you, but for someone worthy."

"Are you suggesting I lead a rebellion and take down not one but two regimes?" Clarke stated bluntly and watched as Amelia sat frozen waiting for death to befall her at Clarke's own hands. After a few moments passed, Amelia remained no less tense but looked ready to resume their conversation.

The idea sounded absurd to her. She could not overhaul Lexa and declare war on a people she had little notion of. "You over estimate the faith the Trigedakru, and even my own people, have in me."

"You undervalue your influence, if I am not too bold."

Clarke grinned. "This entire conversation is too audacious." Amelia's ebony skin began to loose luster and Clarke quickly rectified her statement. "For either of us."

"Say, I'm onboard. Partly. I don't want to overtake the Trigedakru, but I do want to take control of my life and not be anyone's puppet, let alone Lexa's. I just don't want any one to die. I can't stand it."

Amelia laid a hand on hers. "Many more will die before this is over. It is the way of things."

"I don't like the way of things" Clarke eyed her. "You're very clever. You see all the colors in between, and the actions behind the words." She licked her lips gathering her courage. "You say I have people, a following, even an army if I want it?'

Amelia nodded. "You have those in both Polis and Leston who would follow you if you asked it of them. I have no doubt it is the same with other clans. Your Jacob will secure the allegiance of the Nomads at the very least. "

"You're sure of this?"

"On my honor."

Clarke nodded to herself more than Amelia. "I need a convoy. Luna wanted me to have one for Polis. She wants me to replace her. I wasn't sure of it when she told me, but now I know I can't be under someone. Not again." She paused and lowered her voice. "I need to start gathering those I can trust, or trying to find those that are trust worthy. Apparently, I'm not a very good judge of character."

Amelia chose to respond. "You believe in the goodness of others. It is a rare quality in this day. As a leader you are not afforded to give others opportunity to deceive you."

"Did Queen Nia allow you to speak with such liberty?" Clarke raised an eyebrow pointedly.

"Yes, and no" she said rising from her seat.

She walked over to her worktable and proceeded to shuffle through a series of dresses. She pulled a beautiful dress over a mannequin and a decorative chest plate over another. Clarke watched her ruffle the skirt and pick up a needle threading through the gown lifting the hemline. She gave Clarke a handful of pins and proceeded to show her how to measure and lift the hemline so that she could follow with needle and thread.

"The lady Queen is callous, but gifted. She welcomes truth from her most loyal subjects. A great leader does not shy from the harshness of truth, but meets it head on."

"Does she also help her peasants makes dresses?" Clarke joked with a sparkle in her eye.

Amelia raised her brow and ushered Clarke along. "No she does not. Such things are beneath her. Such things are beneath you Skai Prisa."

"No they aren't."

Amelia paused and met her eyes. "And that is why your strength is vast and people follow you."

"If Lexa looses her following for saving her people, how can I ever expect to retain their loyalty?"

"It is weakness, not mercy, love or compassion that the Trigedakru will scorn you for."

"Lexa told me love was weakness." She raised her head and cursed after nicking her finger. She stuck her finger in her mouth and shook the digit until the sharp pain lessened.

"It depends on how you use love. Do you hide behind it, or does it embody your spirit? You have become a well-known warrior and leader because you have fought and bled to protect those you love. That is not weakness that is the best kind of strength. It is the kind of strength that others will follow you to the ends of the earth for. "

Clarke thought upon her words. Costia had been tortured and killed because she was close to Lexa. Showing her strength as a leader and resilience as a woman, Lexa rose above her heart and forged an alliance instead of waging war with the woman who had killed her beloved. It was why she had vowed never to show such weakness again-love. To truly love someone meant risking yourself to be hurt. Vulnerability meant strength. With the right person.

"This dress is very pretty." Clarke commented watching Amelia finish the hemming with ease. She wondered how someone who must have been a proud warrior serving directly under the Queen would have had the courage to leave and seek refuge with a people other than her own. It must have been difficult.

"No, Jacob, stop." She uncurled his fist from the material before he could damage it.

"Who is it for?"

"A princess."

Her casual remark caused Clarke pause. Amelia continued on without missing a beat. Clarke took in the white ruffled skirt with different eyes appraising its beauty.

"This is the first layer. The bodice over lays it and cinches with a waist belt."

"How did you learn to do this?"

A smile came to her lips. "My mother, she was very skilled."

"I want you to come with me when I go to Polis." Amelia stopped and turned assessing her. "I need a convoy, and I want you to be a part of it. Jonah as well. He knows Polis, and you've told me he has family there." Members of the Trikru were bred warriors.

Clarke felt awkward addressing her back, but carried on. "That is, only if you want to. I won't force you into this. Either of you."

The words hung in the air between them. Clarke was asking Amelia to give up her life of peace in Leston. And to be a part of something bigger, and possibly more dangerous than even she could fathom.

"I'm too old to be your second." Amelia said at long last and then added, "You'll need one."

"I have one in mind." And she did. "You might die" she added wanting to verbalize the uncertainty of her life if she followed her down this road.

"We all die."

This was true.

"Can I trust you?"

"You'll find out."

This was also true. They were off to a good start.

"If you betray me, I will kill you." She fingered the knife at her waist giving Amelia her utmost grave expression before cocking her head and smiling.


	10. Chapter 10

I apologize with the late update and this short chapter. I'm working a lot and kinda in a funky mood. Also, how would you feel about no updates in the month of November in exchange for making this my NaNoWriMo? Reviews make me happy. Please review.

 _Trigedakru_

* * *

" _You are not dressed."_

Clarke looked up from the floor where she was playing with Jacob. She raised an inquiring eyebrow despite knowing exactly what the woman was referring to. Amelia continued to stare unwilling to play games. Clarke sighed relenting and turned on her side.

" _I'm not going."_ It was the last evening for the celebration of the clan joining the Coalition. She had originally planned to go, but could not stomach the thought of attending an event with Lexa and her relatives. Clarke doubted her ability to remain composed amongst so many who had willingly withheld truths from her.

People that pissed her off tended to die. Or more accurately she ended them with a bullet.

" _Stop hiding."_

Clarke pursed her lips. "I dislike this new attitude of yours."

Amelia folded her arms and raised her chin. "You asked me to be your guide in this world, to be your trusted warrior and confidant. I do not take this matter lightly as you appear to."

"Nor are you afraid to speak your mind apparently" Clarke muttered.

Amelia dropped to the ground on her knees besides her. "Prisa," she began more formally. _"You must show them your strength."_

"They've humiliated me." Clarke turned her eyes away grinding her teeth. The feeling of being played like a fool and falling for so many tricks grated on her.

"You are above such things, and you must prove it so."

Clarke wanted to ask her how, but she already knew. "By facing them," she said firmly.

"Look into their eyes. You are no fool. A star from the heavens is nothing less than radiant and powerful."

She filled her lungs and nodded. _"You're right."_ Truthfully, she had been delaying the act of readying for the final evenings celebrations, but knew she would have attended at the last minute.

Jonah walked into the room with a small paintbrush and a clay bowl of dark liquid. He set the items on the table and nodded at her and she returned the gesture. She rose from the floor along with Amelia and joined them at the table. Jonah mixed the liquid and handed the substance to his wife.

"What is that?" Clarke sniffed unable to distinguish the scent. She realized it was similar to the paint Lexa decorated her face with.

"If you are to walk amongst the Trigedakru as a leader you must embrace it."

"And painting my face is going to do that?" Amelia sat back and regarded her silently. Clarke resisted fidgeting in her seat feeling like a scolded child. How was she to convince a people of her importance if this woman cowed her? Clarke forced her body upright.

Amelia continued with an approving nod. "You need to feel it as well. And show that you are truly a force from the heavens. We will create a design and regal presence befitting of a star that burns with the light of the sun. They will not be able to help feel your presence."

"Wow…that sounds impressive."

"You already are. Now we must match what is in here," Amelia placed a palm to Clarke's chest lightly, "with this" and motioned to the bowl of paint. She picked up the brush and Clarke sat patiently as Jonah and Amelia imparted more styling pointers than Clarke had ever seen a teenage girl on the Ark display.

* * *

Clarke was used to being noticed. She knew she possessed a sense of presence and purpose when she spoke. She felt it in the way she convinced the one hundred to establish some form of order, and the first time Finn and the others had called her princess. She saw the need to fix the wrongs in front of her and took action. She was the first to lay her life down and kill her own people out of mercy and attempt negotiations with the indigenous peoples and slay her enemies. However, never before had appearance hung so heavily.

She relied on her voice to relay wisdom and promise and her actions to speak of her character. But as she stared into the small makeshift glass mirror at her painted face and braided hair she hardly recognized herself. Clarke traced the sweeping black lines above her zygomatic arch and the small blue undertone that matched her eyes and saw a woman so far removed from who she always thought she was. Here, was a warrior with braids of various lengths. Some coiled on her crown to meet with others while lengths of her longest strands just passed her shoulders. Her fingers toyed with the organized chaos, noting that her hair was beginning to grow since it was last styled.

Amelia insisted she wear the same outfit from the first night with the exception of the more decorated shimmering metal chest, waist and shoulder plates. She had been too preoccupied with staying alive to appreciate the finer things that were available on the ground. New clothes were a rare commodity on the Ark. Most of them were passed from one family to another.

"Prisa." Clarke turned and smiled at Jonah. He was holding her son, and despite never having been a father, he held the boy with ease, even if she could tell he was slightly uncomfortable.

"Thank you" she said as he passed easily into her arms.

"Are you sure you do not wish me to stay with him?" Amelia asked. The pair looked nice dressed in clean pants and hides with their own face paint applied to resemble hers.

Clarke shook her head and nuzzled her most prized possession and relished in the feel of his smooth skin and youthful scent.

"No, he stays with me."

She was not going to shy from her responsibilities. She never had, not even when she isolated herself amongst the Floudonkru. Except, she reminded herself, when she left her people at Camp Jaha. Part of her knew she did them a favor as much as herself leaving when she did. She needed time to heal, she still did. But things were different now. Part of her was broken, but she was healing. In place of smooth skin were rough patches of thickened scar tissue proving she was a survivor.

Jacob was as safe as he would ever be in Leston. She prayed that he would forgive her, as he grew older. Forgive her for endangering him and tying him to her life of danger and betrayal. Most of all she prayed for the strength to protect him long enough for him to grow into a man.

Jacob babbled as she bounced him. Clarke encouraged him and puffed her cheeks.

"Mama" she enunciated. "Can you say Mama?"

Jacob continued to babble and he fisted his hands in her hair. She did not expect him to speak, even if he had been more vocal as of late. She encouraged him nonetheless.

"He will be speaking soon enough."

"I suppose." She sighed knowing Amelia was correct. She began to hand him to Amelia to carry as they ventured out for the evening but Jacob resisted suddenly. One of Jacobs fists collided with her face suddenly and he cried out. Rarely did he cry or throw fits, especially with people he was familiar with.

"What's wrong?" She cooed.

"Perhaps the paint scares him."

"I don't think so." They were all wearing similar facial makeup. Truthfully, she saw more of his desire to be close to her as the days passed. Clarke played it off and figured all babies desired the familiar and the person that most often fulfilled their needs.

"I'm here, Mama's right here." She kissed his chubby fists and held his face catching his eyes and willing him calm. His lips pouted and spittle dribbled down his chin. Clarke wiped the drool with her hand and dried her hand on her skirts.

"Mmm," he began. "Mma." He said purposely grasping a loose braid and sticking it in his mouth.

Her face alighted in happiness and her chest burst with pride. Perhaps there was something to appearances after all.

* * *

The evening had only begun, and it was time to alight the fires and begin the festivities.

Lexa's eyes burned with desire as she gazed at the blond. She had seen Clarke's eyes aflame with passion for her people and never thought that she would ever see her appear more breathtaking, but tonight she was regal and held a beauty beyond imagining. Her eyes were framed by smooth dark swipes of black with thickening layers reaching into the sides of her hair. Her hair was braided in a manner that spoke of intricacy and care. Lexa almost boiled with anger at the thought of another threading unworthy fingers through the golden tresses.

Where Lexa appeared every bit the warrior King, she felt that Clarke had the potential to embody a Queen who inspired her people to charge the gaits of hell for a slight against her. This was the potential Lexa saw in her upon their first meeting. And this was the woman that Lexa knew would help her end the Ice Nations Queen. Despite this, she knew better to approach Clarke near the fire and graze her fingers reverently against the fair skin.

" _You are taking your time with her."_ Luna approached silently next to the Heda. Lexa knew the woman expected her to simply order Clarke's assistance and allegiance of the Sky People, but matters were complicated. The Floudonkru leader saw how the people adored Clarke, but she had yet to experience how whispers of Clarke's actions had reached the capitol.

Instead of answering, for she answered to no one, she pressed Luna. _"As did you. You've grown fond of her."_

" _Do not misplace my fondness for vantage."_

The words were not cold, but matter of fact. Lexa knew Luna as an eccentric woman, and easily discarded as flighty by other clan leaders. Lexa knew better than to underestimate the woman who lead such a peaceful clan.

" _Are you not fond of her?"_ There was a warning in her tone that Lexa was sure the other woman picked up on.

Luna's eyes softened briefly as she nodded once. _"As much as I can be."_ Her mouth pressed firmly, resolutely. _"She needs to be ready. The Ice Queen will not idle."_

" _She needs to trust us"_ Lexa returned just as purposefully.

Luna cocked her head in a manner that showed she thought the statement was foolish but she dared not say so. She narrowed her eyes in response letting the older woman know that the slight was apparent and unfitting. Lexa identified it as an older woman frowning upon a younger one in disapproval. Luna knew she could press the lines that separated her as Heda and Lexa. Very few were alive that could do so and live. One of them had been Gustus, and she had killed him for his betrayal, even if he had the best intentions. He had no right to go against her orders. She felt his absence in her breast, especially as she looked upon Clarke and was reminded of the wrongs she had committed against the fierce woman from the sky.

" _Are you trying to tame her?"_ Luna asked somewhat blandly.

" _You cannot tame a wild thing, even less a star."_ She was careful to keep the emotion from her voice. Luna knew far too much about Clarke's importance, especially of her value to Lexa.

They were silent for a moment before Luna spoke again. _"Perhaps you cannot tame a wild thing, but their heads make striking trophies."_

Lexa snapped her head sharply to Luna barely containing the fury in her heart. Her voice was cold as ice. _"Perhaps it is your head that will grace my wall."_

She left the leader of the Floudonkru staring after her with an indecipherable look upon her face. She imagined the look was one of fear and the thought sent an exhilarating feeling in her chest. Lexa spotted Clarke and gathered the courage of a hundred warriors and left Luna to ponder if she had just shortened her life span even further.

* * *

Please RR. It would do me a favor and lift my spirits.


	11. Chapter 11

_Trigedasleng_

 _Un betaed. All errors are mine._

* * *

It was well into the evening and the fires surrounding the tables created a pleasant glow. The stars were bright and Clarke felt peace as she gazed into the sky wondering how so much had changed in less than a year. Time never ceased for anyone, and if she were lucky she would see another year on the ground. Jacob squirmed in her arms and she smiled at him. She would see decades she decided. If only to see him grow and her people safe and thriving.

Amelia laid a hand upon her shoulder. Clarke frowned and followed her gaze. Lexa was speaking with Luna in low tones. The conversation did not appear to be a pleasant one. Lexa left Luna and she could tell by the stiffness of Luna's shoulders and the authoritative sweep of Lexa's cloak that a disagreement had taken place. Or possibly, Luna had displeased Lexa. Clarke lifted her chin and looked back to Amelia.

" _It is time to light the bonfire."_

Clarke acknowledged the statement. Both Lexa and Luna had taken a turn lighting the fire. The third was supposed to be a joint lighting signifying the union between their clans and the Floudonkru joining the Coalition. Clarke locked eyes when Amelia glanced at her son and back to Lexa's imposing figure leaving Luna's side and….making her way towards Clarke.

" _You will do it."_

If Clarke was surprised she did not show it and Amelia nodded encouragingly when they locked gazes. She decided not to question the reason behind interfering with tradition and protocol. This meant something, and Amelia knew it. Hopefully Lexa would not take it poorly. Amelia meant to take Jacob from her but Clarke shifted him to lie more securely on her shoulder. Amelia's arms drifted to her sides and Jonah nodded to them both. Clarke walked to the dais where the torch lay in wait and lifted it with her left hand while Jacob squirmed in her right. It was no small feet and she thanked Liam for the mother/warrior training even though she was peeved at him.

"Settle. Or you're gonna make us look bad." She whispered to him. As most children, the words passed over him without heed and she groaned almost wishing she had relinquished him to Amelia's more than capable arms.

In her peripheral, Clarke saw Lexa; no doubt surprised that Clarke had taken up the torch that was meant for her hands. Someday soon, she would show the warrior that she was strong on her own and that betraying her would be fatal. So many lives could have been spared if not for her. Then again, Clarke had also sacrificed many lives to protect her own. So had Dante. And she still would. To have that power, the power to lead, Clarke needed the help of others, she needed their trust and for them to follow her. And she needed to show them that she was one of them and that she could take up the mantle of leader.

Luna was grooming her replace her. It was not an option and she would not consider it. Clarke had a responsibility to the Skaikru and to the Floudonkru. To protect them she would have to make herself someone worthy of their devotion, but she would not be able to do that as Luna's successor.

Lexa's figure loomed closer and Jonah intercepted benignly. Lexa looked at the Floudonkru member and then at Clarke. She ignored the warrior in her path in favor of Clarke.

"Klark." The tone was even and non confrontational.

In her gut, she knew that Amelia wanted her to light the fire proving that she was above the Trigedakru's leader, but she had a better idea.

She nodded to Jonah and he stood aside. Clarke stepped forward with the torch and faced Lexa. It was a trying time and the Coalition was in danger. What they needed was amalgamation, not further discord.

" _Come. Together."_ She beckoned with her eyes. Lexa eyed the torch, the babe in Clarke's arms and the silent crowd surrounding them.

Despite the tension in her arms, Clarke did not let the fear linger her eyes. She remained poised waiting for the Commander to make her decision, her choice.

Just when she was sure Lexa was going to leave her to her own devices and cause a very difficult situation, Lexa suddenly reached out and grasped the torch just above Clarke's hand with her left. Tension eased from her shoulders and she let a small smile slip from her lips. Lexa's eyes softened and one corner of her lips turned up. Her right hand reached out and brushed lightly against Jacob's forehead. Clarke tensed but did nothing to still her hand. She did not trust the Trigedakru leader, but to make ground, to get what she wanted, small concessions were expected. To Lexa, perhaps it was acceptance, trust even, but to Clarke it was a means to an end.

" _Together."_ Lexa nodded.

Raising their hands as one, they lit the bonfire and a great cheer followed. Lexa took the torch and tossed it into the roaring fire and a large cry came resounded. Clarke smiled against her will.

Lexa held up one hand and the crowd immediately silenced. Her voice penetrated in the night and Clarke could not help but admire the charisma in her voice and the way the people responded to her.

" _This fire signifies our union under one leadership. We are twelve clans, but together we are one people."_ She paused to let them quiet once more and turned to Clarke expectantly.

In that moment Clarke felt there was more than just her in this fight. It was easy to feel overwhelmed. She could not change the circumstances of their lives, at least not all at once. The seasons, the direction of the wind, all of it was beyond her. But she could take a stand. To change the world she lived in, it had to begin with one person. It always did. She wanted peace and safety and a world in which her child could live and be happy. Lexa's plan was unknown to her but she knew that something was needed of her. It was not possible that Lexa chose to integrate herself into her life and the lives of her people without purpose. Perhaps, she thought as she looked at Lexa and felt the warmth of Jacob at her breast, Lexa already knew this. Clarke smirked and shook her head lightly. Everyone had always told her she was a leader, someone that sought justice and fought for those who could not. Lexa had helped integrate her into a place where she was needed, respected and perchance even loved.

Whatever the reason, these people were hers as well. Her duty was to protect the Skaikru, but she would not forsake the Trigedakru to do so. This new enemy would perish. And Clarke was the only person that could unite them against whoever had Lexa so afraid. For Lexa did feel fear and love. How could someone who expressed so much devotion to a people not feel things strongly?

 _He won't be the same. The things he's done. It will stay with him._

 _We don't know that._

 _Yes, we do._

Clarke raised her eyes to Lexa's still expectant stare. She wanted her to speak.

" _True strength lies within protecting our people, all of them."_ She said as she met Lexa's unwavering green eyes. _"Stand alone and die, stand together and live."_

The crowd roared and Clarke felt her heart accelerate with the enthusiasm of the masses. Music began to accompany the cheerful voices and suddenly others were dancing. Clarke bounced Jacob as the noise startled him and his struggled to escape her arms began anew.

"Do you want to dance as well?" she asked her son tiredly.

"Will you?" Lexa asked interrupting Clarke's moment with Jacob.

"What?" she asked slightly confused.

"It is customary to dance."

"A dance?" Clarke asked in disbelief. She looked to Amelia. "A dance, really?" The woman nodded and took Jacob into her arms. Her arms felt suddenly empty and stroppy.

"Do your people not dance?"

"Well, I mean, yes, but…" she floundered.

"Then do _you_ not know how?" Lexa raised an eyebrow. It sounded almost like a challenge if the subject matter was not so childish.

Clarke sputtered. "No, I do, it's just." She paused, and looked at the people moving boisterously. Clarke had learned many dances living amongst the Floudonkru but this one was not one of them. "I don't know this one," she admitted begrudgingly.

"Unacceptable. Come."

Clarke turned to her with a retort on her lips until she spotted Lexa's outstretched hand. She stared at it dumbly for a few moments until Lexa spoke again.

"Take my hand Klark."

"Why?"

"It's tradition."

Clarke's eyes darted to the sides spotting people observing their conversation.

"And I told you," she muttered. "I don't know this one."

"I will teach you." Clarke's eyes darted up to Lexa's almost teasing eyes. "Do I frighten you?"

Clarke's eyes narrowed and she took Lexa's hand more firmly than she intended. Lexa smirked in triumph and too late Clarke realized she had been bated. Lexa's roughened hands closed upon hers before she could change her mind. As the dance begun, Clarke found herself falling into the rhythm with the beat of the drums. People danced around them and she laughed. As she stumbled through the steps and felt the heat of the fire warm her cheeks, she forgot about treachery, about war, and about death. Clarke's body felt warm and alive everywhere the Commander touched her and all she saw were deep green hazel orbs gazing at nothing but her. And they did frighten her.

* * *

Liam entered his home quietly trying to avoid waking his family. It had been an eventful night with the festivities and his children left premature too tired to stay with the livelier groups celebrating well into the night and possibly the early morning. His wife was no doubt asleep after settling the children for the evening. His sister being here had made everything much more complicated, but then again, she always had, from the moment she learned to walk and follow him into the woods wanting to learn how to hunt. She had always wanted to protect him even though he was first-born.

And he had always worried about her. So fearless and reckless; so much more of a warrior than he could ever hope to be. And then when she was still young she had been chosen to lead. Her spirit had been called in one of the most turbulent times between warring clans. Liam had feared for her when the soldiers came, after the elder in their village had found her and ten others, that could have the spirit of the next leader within them.

Liam's entire family agonized for months as one by one each candidate failed the trials. Liam and his family prayed to the gods that Lexa would fail the trials live or die. Either was better than succeeding and being chosen as the next Heda. It was a great honor to be chosen, and the family was always rewarded and given lands and luxury, even well after their death. For that is what it meant to have the spirits call upon your body. It meant death.

The day she was inducted was one of the last days he saw her as the child he loved. Her visits home became few and before long she was made a second to the warrior Anya. Not long after she fell in love. He was happy for her, but also desolate. Being Heda meant a life full of pain and when the news of her beloveds death reached him, he saw her temperament change before his eyes in the way she ruled over the people. The Coalition grew strong, and after Costia's death all twelve clans were solidified within the Coalition. It was a feat none had accomplished before her. He was proud but he mourned nonetheless for the years she had missed in youth and the ones that would end prematurely.

Liam was not a warrior like his sister. He respected and even feared her. So he left the Trikru and wandered to the ocean where he would see less death and her hand in the world. He cared for her and knew that while she held herself apart from the people since Costia's death, she still felt just as deeply; it was only buried under the fear of losing more of her loved ones.

Which is why when he heard of Klark kom Skaikru he was curious and then confused. When the Skaikru came people talked. Leston was far enough away that rumors were heard well after the current events as many of his people stayed within the village. They were a peaceful people, for the most part. Then they were called to war against the Skaikru. His sister, the Heda, had called few warriors from Leston. They were not trained and bred the same as the other tribes, but they were still strong and brave. He was also born of the Trikru. While the warrior lifestyle was not the way of life he took to, he still knew the warriors way. When the time came to leave he kissed his wife and children and went to war in the name of his sister against the Skaikru.

Instead of marching against the Skaikru, they called for the death of the one called Finn. Liam stayed within the crowd, within sight per the Heda's orders, but out of the limelight. Lexa feared his death even if she would not show him favor and keep him completely out of harms way. The first time he saw Klark kom Skaikru, he remembered more than the sunshine in her hair and her strength of character amidst warriors who could kill her with ease. And then she killed the one they called Finn. When she killed him he called her princess and he thanked her proving her sovereignty. He saw her heart break out of sorrow and felt for her despite the differences of their people.

He scrutinized his sister as she watched the sunshine haired woman called Klark. He had never seen Lexa gaze so intently at another with such yearning and curiosity in her eyes.

Next, came the alliance between the Skaikru and the Trigedakru. The bond between his sister and the Skaikru leader grew until they functioned as one unit. The yearning in her eyes turned to passion and he wished that all would be well so that perhaps something more could come from it after the battle. At the very worst, a quick death for the Skaikru leader.

He was not with her when Lexa betrayed the alliance. He heard of Klark's defeat of the Mountain Men after the Trigedakru abandoned her people to die only after he was home. Her name was whispered amongst his people and her legend grew. At first he had a difficult time adjusting to the woman who had begun to look at his sibling with returned affection and the warrior who condemned an entire race of people to die. It was an act of war that his people would have done. It was ruthless and calculated. The fear of the Skai Prisa's wrath solidified. None would touch the Skaikru without fear of retribution from their leader. Not even his sibling. It was no wonder why Lexa protected Klark's people with abandon in her absence.

Then one day the Skaikru leader disappeared only to reappear in his home village. But she did not come to his village alone. Klark had saved his eldest daughter. Protect her, his sister had ordered. She is a star amongst dismal pebbles. Treat her reverently, nothing less than family as you would me.

The message delivered through the man known as Coltrane left him wondering if Klark understood what stood in the balance, how very important she was to not just the Skaikru and Trigedakru but also his sister. As the days passed he found she was unaware of her worth. She held so much pain behind once vibrant blue eyes. She did not remember him. In times of war many things could be over looked, but still she treated his people with respect and as individuals. It is why so many of the Trigedakru felt compelled to stay even when ordered away at the base of Mount Weather.

As the seasons changed she became more than an order. This was the woman who had adopted an orphaned child that would have been left to die. Her true strength was her spirit, and the determination to save lives and to love. It was strength so different than his sister, one that he knew his sister admired and was unable to comprehend how to mimic without loosing herself and the power she held over the people. The tentative alliance with the Azgeda would one day break and he knew, along with his sister, that they would break away from the Coalition.

When Klark found out the truth he had been torn because she was family. She was his sister in all but blood. He did not fear retribution so much as he feared her disappointment and the hurt reflected in her eyes. As much as he knew her to be merciful, she was also a woman to condemn the wicked, and he had betrayed her.

" _Liam."_ The stilted and terse voice of his wife cleared his mind and brought his attention to full alert.

" _What is it?"_ He asked in hushed tones.

Her face was pinched and worried but she held strong. _"You're needed."_ She said nothing more but led him into the adjoining room where they typically gathered by the fire in the winter evenings. His feet turned to lead the instant he saw the very object of his thoughts sitting so casually within one of his largest and most lavish chairs. Besides her stood two others from his clan on opposing sides. He was not well acquainted with Amelia but he knew Jonah well enough. It seemed that the Skaikru leader was quick to gather allies. Despite the turmoil in his gut he was ashamed it was because of him.

" _Skai Prisa,"_ he spoke tersely and was ashamed when he could say nothing more.

" _Liam,"_ she nodded. Her legs were crossed casually and she toyed with the knife gifted to her from his sister. _"I'll speak plainly as the hour is late."_ Her words were spoken ith great care and she was trying to lessen her foreign accent.

He nodded swiftly and felt his wife move to his side. He was unable to discern the intention of her visit from the tone of her voice or facial expression. His blood turned to stone with her next words.

" _I'm here for your daughter."_

Liam closed his eyes briefly against her words. They rang in his ears and he knew immediately what she wanted. He had betrayed her and it mattered little that it was a direct order from Heda. Klark was cunning and was choosing to enact her revenge in the most palpable way that would do most harm.

India's hand clenched painfully around his arm and the pain kept him grounded.

" _I'm not here to take her life. I want her as my second. I will not force her to accept, but if she wishes to come with me you will let her."_ She said as if the words were a balm.

Clarke understood the gravity of taking on a second; it meant you were responsible for them. They became family. A second's life was devoted to that of their mentor and vice versa. It was a privilege and a right of passage to be chosen, one that also put the seconds life in danger.

Liam knew Klark was aware that it was one of his deepest fears. They had spoken of his plans and hopes for his family at length. One of the reasons he had left the Trikru and joined the Floudonkru was to live a life beyond that of a warrior and he did not want his children to become swept up in the world of warfare where he could not protect them. It was his fault that she had chosen to take his daughter. If he did not accept shame would befall his family.

" _She is too young."_ India's voice was soft yet firm. She looked to Amelia and Jonah but their faces gave nothing away.

Clarke's head cocked to the side watching them silently.

" _She is not."_ He took his wife's hand and lowered it from his arm. _"We have no choice."_ Despite the fact they had treated her as family and housed her, this was also a dangerous woman just like his sister.

"There is always a choice." Clarke said in English and paused at his startled expression. _"You just need to determine what you want."_ She uncrossed her legs and rose from the seat. _"Do you want me as an enemy or an ally?"_

The underlying threat was unmistakable. The fact that she felt she could threaten the brother of the Heda was either very brave or very foolish. He could detect no lie, but also noted the lack of vehemence. She did not want to hurt his daughter. She had spent hours teaching her the ways of healing; of being a leader in all ways accept leading her to battle.

" _I'll go."_ His head turned to see his daughter step forward still holding onto the handle of the door leading to the bedrooms.

" _Rebekah!"_ India scolded her eldest. _"Leave, you are too young for this."_

" _I am not. And I want to go."_ Rebekah spoke walking further into the room, and closer to her fate.

Clarke regarded them silently waiting patiently. He wondered if she knew his daughter was listening to their conversation from behind the door.

" _You do not understand…"_

" _There is more to be expected of you than you know."_ He added not refuting her claim and desires but educating her as he had always done from the day she could walk and follow him blindly.

" _I will learn,"_ she told him and then turned to Clarke, _"and I will make you proud."_

Clarke smiled reminiscent of the first days she had come to live with them. _"You already have."_

Rebekah's returning gleam at the praise made him sigh in defeat.

" _I don't want to displease you."_ Rebekah said to her parents hesitantly.

" _It is a great honor, you could not displease us."_ He said laying a hand on her shoulder. India nodded sadly in agreement when Rebekah looked to her for acceptance.

"I would ask a favor of you." Rebekah spoke beseechingly Clarke.

"Go ahead." Clarke encouraged.

"Forgive us."

The words must have shocked Clarke for her eyes widened, turned cold for a moment and then closed for a moment more. When they opened they were warmer and slightly vulnerable. She nodded to herself somehow finding strength in the next words spoken with tenderness. "If you need forgiveness, I'll give that to you. You're forgiven."

There was no conversation on the matter. Clarke was tired of speaking at length of treachery, forgiveness, mercy and justice. She signaled to her companions and the warriors followed her lead.

"I will collect you just after sunrise. We have work to do before we leave for the Capitol."

"When do you leave?" India asked.

Clarke spared her a glance before responding. "Two days." She paused at the threshold and debated before speaking again. _"For what's it worth, I'll protect her with my life."_ Clarke stepped closer attempting to imbue the truth of her words. _"She's my second, my responsibility."_

She left the next moment and Liam looked at his daughter and saw the square set to her shoulders despite her mother's arms cradling her close. There was strength in her he had seen glimpses of before, and now realized was here to stay and would only grow.

 _I have faith too ... in my daughter._

* * *

" _Stop fidgeting,"_ Amelia scolded under her breathe, as they grew closer to city hall.

"I'm not," Clarke returned brows furrowing.

True to her word, Clarke collected her prodigy and little was said between her and Rebekah's parents. Rebekah was dressed nicely with her hair braided back from her face in a more adult style that revealed how she was on the cusp of adulthood. Her clothes were darker in color and the jacket she wore was necessary due to the chill in the air. Clarke could tell she was nervous, and honestly she was as well. She also felt slightly bereft at leaving her son in the care of the villages' healer, Luka, but considering her role she was unable to be with him at all hours of the day. Supposedly, in the old days, before the war, some parents were able to stay at home and raise their children. She thought the concept odd since every person on the Ark had a purpose and a job to do. However, there were certain individuals that did assist with childcare. The same was similar on the ground, only there was more devotion to the training of the young, especially as a community.

They reached the main double-hinged doors at the same time as Lexa and her entourage. Both parties stopped, and Lexa's four guards (three men and one terrifying looking woman) stood at her side patiently. Lexa looked past her to Rebekah noting her presence and the way she held herself by Clarke's side with her head tall. Lexa's eyes caught Clarke and then Rebekah's and she nodded imperceptivity. She wondered if Lexa was upset about choosing Rebekah as her second.

" _Good morning, Lexa"_ Clarke said in the morning air as her breathe fogged. She was glad she listened to Amelia and dressed accordingly. Her feet shifted as her people and Lexa's regarded one another.

" _Klark,"_ she returned. Clarke fought not to grin remembering another place and time when she was greeted in a similar manner with more sarcasm.

If they lingered any longer it would get very uncomfortable. The woman looked no different to her in the morning light. They had enjoyed dancing together, or Clarke had, more than she thought. It was good to see Lexa as she was and not just a beautiful woman holding out her hand for a dance in the glowing firelight. This was the reality.

Clarke sighed and gestured to the doors shaking away the memory. _"After you."_

Lexa raised her chin and signaled to her guards and they followed silently. Only one of the middle aged males looked at her with interest. So much for progress in terms of their relationship. Not that there was a relationship in the first place. More of a working cartel if anything; if you could call allying with other clans and trying not to kill each other a successful conglomerate. It had not worked very well in space, and it was not fairing much better on the ground. Although, at this point it was necessary take precautions.

They passed through one of the most prominent halls where her artwork lay on display nearly finished. Lexa paused observing the meager progress since her arrival. The same man from Lexa's guard made a small comment.

" _Their skill is unrivaled,"_ Lexa responded still gazing at the mural. She moved on the next moment into the next room.

"You did this?" The guard asked somewhat impressed.

Clarke nodded, " I did." She was caught slightly off guard due to his inquiry. He seemed more relaxed than the other three in Lexa's company.

She contemplated his back as she followed and Rebekah brushed her hand against her arm catching her attention. "It is really good." The young girl stated and Clarke smiled taking a moment to appreciate the unfinished mural.

It had been too long since she was able to complement herself. Most of the time she was in some form of self loathing and she hated succumbing to her feelings. She was always at her best when her hands were busy and had less time to contemplate what she could have done better or saved more lives, or in most cases now, how she could have killed less people.

"Thanks," she said taking a rare moment to smile at her. It was the first pleasant conversation they had exchanged since before Lexa's arrival. Not to say that Rebekah had warmed up to Clarke. She was oddly at war with her emotions. One minute she acted as if she was beyond consoling and would do whatever it took to earn Clarke's regard and then the next she was cool and distant. Clarke considered it a regular part of becoming a teenager among other things. There were fleeting moments where she looked back and asked forgiveness for a harsh words spoken to her parents and prayed that Jacob would be kinder to her when he was older than she had been to her parents.

Her stomach churned and she realized with a great intensity that she had been so busy pushing so many things away that she had not thought of her own mother in quite some time. She admired her mother growing up, she still did. She was resilient and brave, even when they were on opposite sides of a matter. Clarke hoped that when she returned there was still a relationship to salvage. The thought of seeing her family and friends again excited her as much as it filled her with dread.

She sat down at a large oblong table with Luna and Lexa. Luna had three of her normal advisors and two other guards standing at her side and placed around the room. Everyone was casually dressed, and absent of war paint. Clarke was again glad she had Amelia to dress her. Fashion had been less of a commodity on the Ark when clothes were so run down. Clothes meant something on the ground. They implied status, provided protection against the elements and Clarke simply enjoyed the way some materials felt against her skin.

" _Heda, we have been graced with your-"_ Luna began and Clarke was slightly startled when Lexa waved her hand and dismissed the older woman's greeting.

" _We have no time for such pleasantries. We have spoken often since my arrival, now is a time for discussing the newest threat. It causes too much risk to inform you of such dealings through messenger, as you are the farthest east and most easily intercepted."_

" _As you wish Heda."_ Luna was more subservient than usual and Clarke wondered if their conversation from last night had indeed been a disagreement although Lexa had spent the night teaching her dance steps rather than gossip.

" _The Azgeda are becoming a threat once more, we have reason to believe they are planning to break fro the Coalition."_

" _You are certain of this."_ Luna asked lips pursed and eyes calculating.

Lexa simply nodded addressing Clarke. _"You were attacked on the borders of this village by members of the Azgeda."_

You mean you didn't plan that as well? Clarke wanted to snap in reply. Instead she composed herself before speaking. _"I wasn't aware it was them at the time, it happened pretty fast."_ Clarke stated remembering the attack that had introduced her to Rebekah. _"I do remember their manner of dress from the officials at Tondc."_

Lexa stiffened and shared a glance with Luna. "What?" Clarke asked.

"It is their fate that has given the clan reason to challenge Heda." Luna relented.

"I don't understand."

Lexa steeled herself and confessed. "The attack at Tondc took many lives, including the generals sent from the Ice Nation."

"Shit," Clarke cursed. "Well that makes more sense. You were already in a tremulous peace and then conveniently their generals end up dead."

"And you lived." Luna added.

Clarke's eyes narrowed at her words and she looked meaningfully to Lexa waiting for an explanation. Clarke wisely kept her tongue noting the suspicious statement and the fact that Lexa remained silent.

" _The Azgeda will use any excuse to declare war. They are simply biding their time waiting for a means to strike, and we must be prepared to counter them if they choose to be so foolish."_

" _What if we attack first?"_ Clarke asked not liking the idea of instigating a confrontation let alone a war between clans which she was not directly involved in. However, peace had been discussed, if all to briefly and the same problems had been deliberated and disregarded once more concerning the most northern clan.

" _We have no absolute proof of their intentions."_ Luna added looking at Lexa meaningfully. It appeared this had been a matter discussed before.

" _Attacking first would divide the clans and sway others to join them."_ Lexa noted. _"They have only to wait for the opportunity. But we must warn your people Klark. Queen Nia is deceitful and will offer false promises to entice others to join her cause."_

" _If they are so ruthless,"_ Clarke began, _"then why ask the Skaikru for assistance? There has to be only a few hundred at Camp Jaha and you have tens of thousands in Leston alone."_

Lexa gazed at the middle-aged warrior next to her. _"567 Skaikru accounted for Heda."_

Clarke raised an eyebrow. "Well that seems absolute. I assume you've counted the number exactly." The slight sarcasm spilled from her voice.

"568 in the spring," the warrior added without inflection.

"Okay," Clarke shrugged. "I'll take your word for it."

"But still, I get why these people are bad news, I've heard enough of the history and if you want help I'm in. But I'm not going to put my people in danger recklessly, especially since I've been gone so long. They probably wouldn't listen to me anyway. There's only exactly 568 of them as I've been recently old." Lexa and Luna eyed one another. "You aren't telling me something."

"There has been sightings of Azgeda within the Skaikru territory." Lexa admitted slowly. "They are already upon you. This is why we must plan for a counter attack."

Clarke startled abruptly at the new information. She pondered this information after the worry for her friends and family passed. Why would the Ice Nation involve themselves with the Sky People? Even if the Sky People aligned with them they gained a few hundred warriors. The numbers helped, but not nearly enough to make any form of difference. They had weapons, guns, and other resources. The technological knowledge was the most advantageous. There had to be something more, something that they clearly needed.

It came to her in an instant. They Sky People were appealing because they had technology and the means to use it. The people under Mount Weather had fallen, but their resources were still viable options. The Mountain had kept the twelve clans at bay for a century. If that stood to reason, it could very well break the Coalition. Everything the Coalition was founded on was the imminent and very real threat to their people, and now there was nothing left to hold them together. If it was possible to harness the power of their most formerly feared enemy how could they not attempt to align themselves with the people they knew had the ability to use it?

"They want to use the Sky People to access Mount Weather's weapons." Clarke said looking to Lexa for confirmation. "That's why you need me." Clarke's heart was in turmoil still lingering in the memory of dances amidst the fire. "You need me to make sure the Sky People don't align with the Ice Nation. If they do, it won't matter if you have all of the clans aligned. They still have the resources to make missiles, the acid fog can be restored... There are plenty of things to keep the Trigedakru at bay and destroy you if need be. The potential is there."

Instead of feeling foolish, she felt cold almost numb. It was smart of Lexa, she decided. She would do the same thing.

"You need to understand Klark." Lexa said with an almost pleading tone to her voice despite its decisiveness. "The Azgeda will use your people and when they outlive their usefulness they will all die. You need to trust me, even if you do not. I have known the Azgeda and have fought with and against them for years." Amidst watchful eyes and the uncomfortable shifting of the others within the room Lexa folded her hand atop of Clarke's. It was a companionable touch given to her by many of her friends and family in the past, but out of character for Lexa. Clarke felt the rest of the room fade away as she gazed into pleading green eyes. "What is important to you matters. You matter, the lives of your people matter."

Clarke felt like she was in a trance and unable to escape.

"You are my people." Clarke responded barely above a whisper as she turned her hand palm up to squeeze Lexa's hand companionably. Perhaps part of her knew Lexa would always be a leader, a warrior but she there was strength in her heart and Clarke saw this.

"But you're forgetting something." Clarke said turning her head back and facing Luna effectively ending the intimate moment although their hands remained touching. "What if the Skaikru won't help us? I've ben gone a long time. My mother may not even be Chancellor anymore. They may not listen to me."

"They will, because you have the support of many, and they have followed you in the past. You were born for this Clarke, same as me." Lexa said instead.

"I just want to keep us all alive." The conversation was reminiscent of one long ago and still held true. She had never asked to be in this position again, but she was taking a leap because as much as she hated the aspect of choosing who lived and died, this is where she belonged. It was time to claim her rightful place within this world on the ground. It was time to stop hiding.

"We will. I swear it." Lexa vowed.

Luna tensed in her chair observing the pair with narrowed eyes.

Rebekah gazed at Clarke and Lexa with barely concealed awe.

"If the Sky People decide not to get involved…"

" _This is not possible."_ Luna stated. _"You will all die."_

Lexa silenced Luna quickly with a word.

"Is that rue?" Clarke asked.

"You will not be able to stay uninvolved. I would respect these wishes for your sake, but the Ice Queen would not be so kind."

" _She would destroy you."_ Luna added despite the earlier reprimand.

"What about the other clans?" Clarke asked. "Who can we expect to stand with us?"

Lexa released Clarke's hand and stood from the table.

"There are three that may break from the Coalition. The Grassland People are fearful of the Ice Queen's wrath. They will side with her. The Horse People will do as the Ice Queen wishes due to their strong ties with the Grasslands. We cannot count on the Nomads for any dispute between clans. Those of the Sea will break away as they trade with the Ice Nation and are the most integrated within their society. The Woods Clan is our strongest ally, followed by the Sankru."

"And the rest?" Clarke queried waiting to hear about the other six clans.

"It will depend on who gets to them first." Lexa answered. "I have been travelling to the clans as is customary for the celebratory events, but also speaking with each clan leader. I have secured alliances with the Mountain, Lake and Island clans. They will stand with us."

"Why not the Nomads? Aren't they aligned within the Coalition?" Clarke enquired.

"There are not apart of the Coalition. We have a truce but no more. We leave them alone and they keep their tainted blood away from all of the clans." Luna alleged without care.

"That's wrong." Clarke's voice was firm.

"It's how we have survived." Luna turned her head.

"Until you took it upon yourself to take one of the tainted in as your own." Lexa raised her brows. "It is not done."

"Perhaps they'll listen to me because of Jacob and if we show them that things can change."

"They will still not listen and we may lose other allies because of this." Luna informed.

"I'll convince them." Clarke said pointedly to Luna.

The statement brought a small wry smile to Lexa's lips as she nodded in acceptance.

"We will seek out the last four clans before arriving in Polis." Lexa unwrapped a map on the table of the area and Clarke stood to get a better look.

"I didn't realize we were stopping so many places before heading to Polis." She noted taking in the hills and a picture of a volcano. She circled the visual of Camp Jaha nostalgically. "How long will that take? To visit the four clans and then travel to Polis?"

"A month at most." Lexa answered. Clarke nodded absently thinking it was a lot of time on the road, especially for her son since there was no way she would be leaving him behind.

"And I need to be present," she stated wanting to confirm her role.

"You will be presented as the Skaikru's ambassador and representative. Along as the next Floudonkru clan leader." Lexa aforesaid while Luna nodded in corroboration.

Clarke agreed, although she was still questioning Luna's declaration that she become the next leader of the Boat People.

"It will be a position that we will officially appoint to you once we reach Polis."

The territories seemed so small on paper compared to reality. A lot was going to change in such a short time. She was going to be heading to another territory soon, leaving her home once more in search of bridging more alliances for the sake of peace. This time she was going to do everything possible to save as many lives as she could. She had to. Life was not just about survival it was about living. Clarke had people to live for and things she wanted to see before her time ended.

"Have you finished assembling your guard?" Luna interrupted her musings while she loomed over the map.

Clarke did her best not to squirm under the scrutiny, as her guard was still incomplete. It was difficult for her to ask others to fight in her name. Furthermore, she was not aware if she could scrounge up any others to give up their lives and leave with her to who knows where for however long.

She stayed silent for a moment as her defensive posture agave her away.

" _You leave tomorrow,"_ Luna reminded her as if she needed the reminder.

"I'm aware," Clarke returned clenching her teeth trying her best to contain the growl within her throat. Luna stared at her for a moment before down casting her eyes in a manner that she was used to seeing on Lexa. Clarke felt like a scolded child in that moment and needed to remind herself that although still a child in years she was very much considered an adult on the ground, and she was also a parent responsible for her son and a leader responsible for the lives of her people.

" _Skai Prisa's guard is assembled and ready to move at her command."_ The voice startled her. Clarke looked at Jonah's silhouette besides his wife and could neither read nor make anything from their facial expressions or stance.

All was silent for a moment at the interruption and Clarke wondered if it was unnatural for a guard to speak up at such a gathering. At that moment she did not care and was thankful for the intrusion.

The meeting ended soon after and Clarke departed first with her entourage heaving a sigh as she exited the buildings. The unfinished mural stayed at her back as she left.

Lexa followed soon after as Luna approach on her left.

" _You put much faith in her."_ Luna commented softly so as not to be overheard. The wrong words spoken could be devastating in times such as these.

" _We need her."_ Lexa said glancing at her from the corner of her eye.

" _You need her."_ Luna rebutted boldly.

" _It is the same."_ Lexa responded ambiguously. She left to prepare for the departure leaving Luna to watch her walk away. "I will not fail her this time." The promise whispered into the wind.

* * *

Sankru-Desert/Sand People

Alright. Holy crap. It's over. I have a lot to speak with you all about. Be warned this is a massive authors note.

First and foremost I have finished NaNoWriMo successfully. Which means you my dear readers, have an additional 50k+ words to this story written. This is the good news. The bad news is…it's still not finished nor is it edited. I have another dilemma on my hands. I really wanted this to be finished before the season three premiere but it ain't gonna happen. I estimate we have another 15-20k I need to write and depending on your opinion another 15k. I tend to think grand thoughts and not follow through and I really want to come through for this story.

Story: My plan was to go through the whole Ice Nation/Queen Nia bit and have a slow burn Clexa. That's been accomplished (jumps up and down huzzah!). Be excited. However, I am weaving in a few sub plot stuff for that crazy AI in red. Now that can make it's own story but I don't have the incentive for that. My question for you is, do you want me to make a small sub plot that will tie this in to the story and most likely add another 15k to the story or just not even attempt it? It's been lightly incorporated already. I promise to do my best with it to not make it totally suck, or suck worse if you hate this story already (which you wouldn't be reading in that case). Send me a PM or just leave a note in the reviews.

Reviews: I'll respond to the new ones here on out, sorry about not being caught up with that.

Updates: You will get a new update once a week. It will hopefully appease you because normally I was updating twice a month and it will appease me because I can edit this terrifying thing. Believe me you want me to edit. This chapter was way too wordy without it.

Plot/characters: I'm not gonna lie, it's a little corny and clichéd the more I write. That's just how it is. Feel free to let my know if you can't stomach it any further. I tried to keep everyone in character but that's the trouble/beauty of fanfiction; we get to develop already developed characters in the manner of our choosing. You can expect Mommy/sovereign Clarke, strong partnerships between Clarke/Lexa, OC's, and some overbearing Abby (I'll try not to overdue that).

Clexa: I giggled massively while writing some of the adorable scenes between them. I hope you like the way they are turning out. Here is another dilemma. It's not that big of a deal but I need some input. I'm not a prude, I read tons of smut. I believe in the promotion of a healthy sex life. That being said…I'm not very good at actually writing said smut scenes. I can write this entire story without having one, but I bet y'all want one don't you?

Well that's it. Send me advice. Say hello. Give a kind word, a sarcastic one etc. Thank you for reading and staying with me. I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving (to all who celebrate).


	12. Chapter 12

It was nearly time to leave. Preparations had been made and articles gathered and packed ready for the journey. Rebekah was busy saying farewells to her family and Jonah and Amelia had settled their affairs in Leston in a somewhat permanent manner. Clarke finished her packing hours ago and was preoccupied with admiring the newfound sling enabling Jacob to sit preferably in front or comfortably at her back if she needed her hands free.

He was liberally referring to her as "mama" which delighted her to no end. Unfortunately, he was also learning many other words both in English and Trigedasleng including how to say "no." Jacob really liked that word. The other day he said a particularly interesting Trigedasleng curse after dropping one of his favorite toys. She was definitely going to screen what she said from now on. Either way, it made her homesick and think of her own mother. Clarke reminded herself that she would be reunited with her mother in due time. How happy her own mother would be to see her was another matter entirely.

" _Skai Prisa."_

She turned meeting Amelia and two men following at her heels. Clarke raised an eyebrow in question and then in surprise as one of the men was undoubtedly one of the largest people she had ever seen in her life. Jacob squirmed against her breast in his new sling. Hopefully, this war would be over before he outgrew it and wanted to run around and carry his own sword.

As it sounded she was going to be travelling frequently in enemy territory. She was looking forward to entering Polis for the first time. The city was an established neutral territory for all of the clans and combat was illegal. Weapons were still permitted, but frowned upon. Despite this, she was not a fool and would be arming herself at all times.

As the three approached Clarke recognized the smaller man. Both eyebrows rose in alarm and her brow furrowed in query. The man before her was the very same man who had disregarded her sentence within the city's court and had mistrusted her role within it. This was the same man she had ordered beaten and later cared for his wounds. For the life of her she could not remember his name and she felt immeasurable guilt over this fact, especially since she was responsible for the scars upon his back.

"Amelia, I thought we were leaving within the hour."

"Yes, all accounted for Skai Prisa. We have two additional men who have come to volunteer for your guard."

Clarke turned scrutinizing them silently. _"I know you."_ She spoke plainly to the smaller man. She may feel guilt, but there was no regret. _"Why would you wish to put yourself within my service? I have no time for testing loyalties. I need people I can trust."_

He kneeled suddenly to the ground crossing a fist over his chest and the other man followed in tandem. _"I am trustworthy. I apologize for my ignorance before Skai Prisa. I wish to prove myself to you. I offer my services. I will die for you a hundred times if need be."_

Clarke's head tilted to the side. "I'd rather you just keep me alive and stay alive yourself. If you can swear to this and to me, then we'll be fine. More than fine," she added.

"It will be done Skai Prisa."

She nodded and shared a significant glance with Amelia. If she trusted them it was good enough for her. For now at least. Clarke had limited options at this time. At least now her guard consisted of a respectable five and Luna surely could not sneer at her disapprovingly.

" _What are your names?"_ She asked forgiving herself for not asking his name long ago.

" _I am known as Rylan. This is my husband, Austin. We go together."_

Clarke gulped looking at the large man suddenly grateful that he was not the one she had tortured but also wishing that he were not the husband of the man she had tortured. She was at a loss for words. Clarke licked her lips and nodded to them both trying to seem cool and unaffected as Lexa usually did under all manner of circumstances.

He could probably step on her like a bug. Or sit on her.

" _It's good to have you with us. I'm sure Amelia will acclimate you."_

She turned sharply holding her sons head and walking away before she belayed her calm demeanor. Jacob squirmed within her grasp and she looked down at him while he babbled.

"What was I supposed to do? Say thanks for you sacrifice after I had you whipped? And please don't let your husband kill me in my sleep?"

Jacob swung a fist responding with a perky "yes" and she sighed.

"Thanks for the advice."

* * *

The first day of travel was the easiest. Clarke parted with Luna on tranquil terms taking with her signs of her affiliation with the Floudonkru, but none more confirmed her affiliation, as did the five Floudonkru members accompanying her. Lexa travelled with ten others, and Clarke tried not to feel intimidated by the fact that her entourage was half the size. Lexa was Heda of twelve clans. Eleven if you considered the speculative association with the Azgeda, thirteen if you decided to include the Skaikru.

It would take them three days to reach the next Trigedakru village. They were to seek passage with the Marsh clan, a people who were relatively loyal to the Coalition. She still wondered how they would take to their presence. Would they welcome them with open arms and would their leader provide them with sanctuary with words of allegiance and vows to follow them into battle if need be?

The ground changed and Clarke wondered at the different climate. The ground became wet and cold the longer they travelled. Her horse stumbled and momentarily lost his footing. She patted his side and adjusted Jacob as he began to whimper. He was frequently repeating the words "down" and "no" in Trigedasleng. She appeased him with words.

" _Why does he cry?"_ Rebekah asked coming up to her side on her mare. The mare dwarfed her large stallion, another one of Luna's gifts.

" _Nothing,"_ Clarke responded trying to ease the sounds of his cries. It would do no good for them to attract the wrong kind of attention. _"He's hungry and he needs to be changed. He's been wet for the last hour and he's not pleased."_

" _We will make camp soon. Can he last a while longer?"_ Lexa approached on her own stead concerned eyes looking from Clarke to the small boy. Clarke nodded and they set out while Jacob's cries grew.

Clarke stuffed a finger in Jacob's mouth to quiet him and it worked for a time. She pulled her vibrant blue cloak around the both of them further. The air was heavy and frost was appearing with her every breath.

"Lexa, with everything going on…was it wise to make this journey with so many people?"

Lexa glanced her way and resumed the easy gait with her horse. The gentle rocking of the horse made her hips sway rhythmically.

" _They would be fools to attack us so boldly. The grander the company the more protection we have."_

Clarke nodded in realization. It was no wonder Lexa had not protested against bringing Jacob. Many warriors had their young strapped to their backs in battle. It did not mean that Clarke wanted to be one of them, but at the same time she could not have left him behind. _"You are very prudent, Heda."_ She said with a touch of appreciation.

Lexa turned her head in surprise at the playful tone and raised her chin arrogantly.

" _Others have expressed my intelligence before."_ Clarke chuckled lightly remembering a backhanded compliment she had gifted Lexa with long ago.

"You are smart and gracious." Her voice filled with amusement.

Lexa's stallion paused digging his feet into the earth as Lexa lifted a branch allowing Clarke passage before her. "Perhaps. "

 _You may be heartless Lexa, but at least you're smart._

Clarke stared after her as the others passed. "Prisa," Jonah said as she startled clearing her mind from the memory. She clicked her tongue to the roof of her mouth and nudged the horse onward.

* * *

They settled for the evening and Clarke burrowed into a makeshift-sleeping pallet. It was cold outside and she shivered despite the added blanket from her pack. The fire was lit and everyone had settled for the evening awaiting sleep. Two guards stayed up in shifts at all times despite Lexa's earlier bravado that no one would dare attack them. Clarke was pleased for the added protection.

Lexa approached with her hand resting on her belt and something in her hand. Her face was unreadable. The camp was quiet and all eyes observed their exchange. Lexa stood waiting for something, perhaps an acknowledge or an invitation even? Not likely the Heda would ask for permission, but her behavior as of late spoke otherwise. Clarke craned her head to take a closer look at the object in her hand.

"What's that?" she nodded referencing the concealed item.

Lexa took her words as consent and approached further. She stretched her arm and held her hand out to Clarke. Clarke kept her gaze on Lexa for a moment before noticing what she held was a tattered book with yellowed pages. Clarke took it gently and their fingers flirted but never touched. She held the book in wonder and reverently inspected the words written in English. It lacked a cover, but the pages held, even though some of them were loose. The pages were worn and the words faded. They had books on the Ark, but they were few and required express permission to read. The study materials she used in school had been on tablets and computer screens.

She found the page alluding to the story and her eyes widened.

 _The Hobbit, There and Back Again._

J. R. R. Tolkien 1937

A laugh escaped her lips and she blinked the moisture away from her eyes. She bit her lip and looked back up at Lexa standing still waiting for something. Her green eyes glowed in the night.

"You brought me a book?" she questioned.

Lexa nodded. "I was told you enjoy them and read to your son often."

"I do. In fact I've read it. We had a digital copy, but the Ark had a physical one as well. My dad checked it out and read it to me once." Thinking of her father made her chest ache but the memory was a fond one and she was enthused at the chance to read it to Jacob as his namesake had done for her so long ago in another life. Fate was a funny thing.

"I can't believe you have this. Where did you find it?" Clarke asked trying to contain her emotions.

"It was gifted to me by my grandfather who read it to me as a child. You are pleased?"

"It is very thoughtful." How was it that two people from entirely different worlds ended up in such a similar place in life? It was as if fate kept throwing them together and insisted on showing Clarke how similar they were, including their childhoods despite the different trajectory over a lifetime. "I assume you'll let me borrow it?"

"It is yours to keep."

Clarke startled ready to refuse such a precious gift even if Leston had a small library. Books were precious and held fond memories for her and knowledge of the world before.

"Thank you," she commented and contemplated her next move. "You can, sit with us…if you want?" The offer hung in the air and Clarke nearly smiled when it was Rebekah who responded.

"What's it about?" The girl scooted closer curious and more brazen than the others due to her relationship with Lexa.

Clarke motioned for her to come closer and Rebekah eagerly scooted her bed effects next to her. Once she was settled, Clarke looked up to Lexa and Rebekah followed suit sitting at her side. They waited patiently for Lexa to take the cue. Lexa shifted and refused to look at the fellow warriors surrounding them. After a moment she slowly made her way and sat next to Clarke, close enough to feel the warmth of her body but not close enough to touch.

"It's a story about heroism, about war and becoming something more than you ever thought you could be."

Her voice clouded remembering the descriptions of the dwarves, of Smaug and the mines within the mountain. The story took her to another time and place. Her mind sent her into a world beyond hers and she blinked back to reality to see the camp staring unabashedly and she blushed in the cold.

"I'm sure you remember it." She said to Lexa dismissively.

"Much time has passed since I last heard its words." Lexa responded entranced by the sound of Clarke's voice as she described the book to her niece.

"It's a story that never gets old." Her head dropped back against the tree behind her and her shoulder brushed Lexa's. She stiffened but relaxed when the warrior stayed posed at her side.

"Will you read it?" Rebekah asked peering at the novel to Clarke's face.

Clarke took her time looking from one member of their group to the other. Most of them seemed interested, or rather disinterested if she had to pick. She shrugged and Jacob's soft breaths eased her.

"Book!" he exclaimed hands hitting the pages. She moved the book out of reach from his eager hands while affirming his observation.

"If you want-," it came out more of a question but Lexa's fervent gaze made her close her mouth and open the book. She swallowed and cleared her throat lightly. "In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit." Her voice carried in the night as the fire crackled and eager ears soaked in a tale beyond imagining.

* * *

Her ass was beyond sore. Clarke was not used to riding on a horse for such a long period of time. She moved subtly and adjusted Jacob in the process. Amelia glanced her way briefly walking besides her and raised an eyebrow noticing her discomfort. Clarke rolled her eyes in response and ignored the woman's observant gaze. She clicked her tongue angling her horse around the brush on the ground and over a log. She was in the middle of the guard with Lexa slightly in front of her.

She started humming absently and brushed hair from her eyes. A tug told her Jacob was also interested in her hair. Her hair was growing and if he kept using it as his favorite play thing and stuffing the locks in his mouth she was going to cut it off again.

The ground was soft and the ledge they were traveling on gave her pause for she was not a naturally deft equestrian. Unlike Lexa, who appeared very comfortable on horseback. She was beginning to wonder if there was any skill Lexa did not excel at. The rocks slid and kicked under her horse's hooves and she tried not to look down over the edge. She patted the young stallion at the base of his neck trying to reassure both of them in the process.

" _Prisa?"_ the monotone voice called and she tried to ignore the concern etched within it. Or rather try being the operative word as she had spent most of the trip ignoring said male. Coltrane's company along this voyage was not her idea, but she could not very well order him to stay behind, as he was not hers to command. Nor was he a trusted friend or ally. Times like this she cursed the fates watchful eyes and interfering ways. More aptly named Commander Lexa.

" _Prisa!"_ she ignored his call once more and subsequently was unable to avoid steering her horse away from the small ditch. Her stallion stumbled over the step and lost his footing. She steered him away from the loose stone and he jumped missing the false step only to land in a more unstable location. He reared higher and Clarke cried out.

"Klark!" multiple cries rang out into the air, but she was still able to depict Lexa's startled call amongst all of the others.

The back hooves sunk suddenly over the edge and the horse squealed wildly. Desperate, Clarke grabbed onto the horse tighter and then released frantically trying to free herself from the harness when she felt the drop of the horse sinking over the ledge. She could feel a moment of weightlessness and Jacob's weight grow light and then heavy and the sling he was in strained to keep him in place. Instinct drove her to throw her hands forward and above to grab anything, and everything.

Her left hand reached perilously grasping rocks as her nails dug into the earth scraping for purchase. Her eyes widened in fear as the saw the horse fall and splatter amidst the rocks below. Her right hand kept her closer to the wall. Jacob's shrill cries were a distant sound. Her feet scraped against the mud on the wall but failed to find stable footing.

"Klark, take my hand!"

She gasped finally focusing in on Lexa's outstretched hand and her torso on the ground with another behind her holding her legs.

"Klark, quickly!" Lexa yelled desperately. Other voices sounded behind Lexa but it was a distant shrill ring. "Take my hand!"

"I can't, I'll drop Jacob!" she yelled her left arm straining while her right sought purchase of her son and on the moss in from of her.

"You won't, just take my hand!" The voice sounded forcefully controlled.

"Take Jacob!" Clarke futilely attempted to bring the screaming child up. Lexa glanced at the boy with newly determined eyes.

"Klark, you need to trust me. You will live, both of you. Please Klark!" Lexa said with a touch of desperation and her eyes wild.

Clarke startled zeroing in on Lexa and then her hand. She reached once and missed. They struggled and on the fourth attempt managed to grasp hand and wrist.

"Do not let go." Lexa emphasized each word as if they were an avowal. "Pull!" she commanded to those behind her.

Clarke felt like her shoulder was getting pulled from her socket, but she ignored it and strained her muscles as much as possible grasping at what leverage she could. She felt her hand slipping through Lexa's until a second grasped her other shoulder and the back of her shirt. Coltrane's determined and straining face came into her view as she momentarily forgot what she was trying to do while staring at him.

Another voice called to her and she fought with more purpose. Her knees scraped against the mossy hillside and her feet desperately sought purchase, although the ground kept giving way. As she began to make her way over the ledge she turned last minute on her side thinking of Jacob. At long last she was on her side, arms shaking, panting and covered in mud. She uncovered her son from his sling with trembling fingers brushing stray locks from his dirtied face. His wails comforted her after she checked him over discovering he was unharmed for the most part save for a few scratches. She would take all the scratches in the world at this point. Scratches healed.

Her arms felt like lead and she did not offer any resistance when Amelia came and untied the sling from her body taking the screaming child with her.

Hands were touching her but she paid them no mind. They grasped her clothes, moved her hair, and removed grime from her skin. She waved away the concern crawling to her knees. Sweat dripped down her nose and her fingers clawed the dirt finding stability in the ground. She sighed trying to regulate her breathing. Clarke's fingers grasped her hair combing through the tangles and removing debris. Her head turned through the fog and saw the pages fluttering in the wind.

Clarke laughed suddenly and the sound astonished them all. Lexa lie on the ground besides her panting and looked at her as if she were crazed. Clarke reached her hand out and picked up _The Hobbit_ dusted in a light sheen of dirt but no worse for wear.

* * *

"You should have listened to him." Lexa patronized later that evening after the cuts and scrapes had been tended to.

Her wrist felt mildly sprained, but it would heal in time. Most of all Clarke was still trying to convince herself she was alive. She also felt really bad about the horse, and glad that she had not met the same fate. She shuddered remembering that Charlotte had met a similar end.

"Yes," she relented, " I should have." It was petulance that had put her and Jacob in danger.

"You let your heart interfere with reason."

Clarke scoffed. "You'd think I wouldn't have that problem considering I've killed hundreds of people."

Lexa quieted but sighed sitting next to her. She leaned her head back and looked at the night sky. It was clear tonight and the stars were visible. "It isn't him you should punish Klark. I ordered him to protect you."

"To deceive me." Clarke corrected without vehemence.

"I knew you would not accept my help otherwise." Lexa redirected her gaze to the blond. The moonlight highlighted her features and she felt the pull to feel her skin.

"I probably wouldn't have," Clarke conceded. "But why? Your family took me in anyway. And they did a great job lying to me as well."

"I care about you Klark." Clarke contemplated her words and the sentiment behind them. Part of her felt the thrill that the woman still cared for her but was also saddened of the falsehood of her relationships. All of them.

"I commanded them to protect you, but not to care for you. They did that of their own will."

She nodded absently, wondering how Lexa knew her mind so well. The others appeared preoccupied in camp eating meals and taking stock on supplies. They stayed in silence for a few more minutes before she decided to break the peace.

"It wasn't very smart." Lexa turned her head eyes assessing Clarke's facial expression. "Taking your people I mean. Considering the blood of the Skaikru would release the Mountain Men back to the ground posing a greater danger to everyone." Clarke said lowly watching the others not wanting to be overheard but also wanting to know the truth behind why she had left.

Lexa licked her lips eyes looking everywhere but at her. Clarke squared her jaw and ordered. "Look at me."

"I was weak and afraid," she hissed abruptly. "Is that you what you want to hear?"

Clarke stared into equally enraged and ashamed eyes. In that moment she saw vulnerability and her blue eyes softened. Lexa was a leader and a warrior but she was also a woman that cared deeply for her people. They were so very similar and also different in many ways. Clarke stayed silent watching the emotions play across her face.

 _What did you do?_

 _What you would have done. Protect my people._

No, Clarke thought looking back. She would not have abandoned the Trigedakru. She would have fought, would have killed (had ended up killing) every last one of them to see all of their people free. Lexa's actions had been that of a desperate and fearful leader pushed into a corner and in that moment she broke and made the easiest choice. The wrong choice.

"I dishonored my people, myself, and I betrayed you. But it is done and I cannot take it back."

Clarke saw the pain and hatred within Lexa's expression and her heart went out to her. She empathized and knew what it felt like to feel self-hatred, but to see it reflected within the Heda's eyes made her realize that Lexa was only human. They were all only human.

In that moment, Clarke realized that this was bigger than her. It always had been, and it had been personal to her, but it never had been for Lexa. It was time to let that go. To do so, she had give Lexa a chance and be honest with her.

"You broke my heart," Clarke confessed. "I didn't think it could still be broken after everything. After Finn's death."

Lexa opened her mouth to speak but Clarke interrupted. "You made a choice. It was the wrong choice, but you did what you had to." She paused and clarified, "what you thought you had to."

Lexa nodded solemnly. Clarke moved to touch her hand. "We have a new battle now." She nodded and Lexa hung on her every word. "We've done things, both of us." Her voice softened. "And we can't take them back, but we can choose to move forward, together." Hopefully, she would not live to regret this decision. How much more could she take before breaking? And this time, she would much rather run a blade through flesh instead of taking a sabbatical.

Lexa's eyes stared deeply into her own considering. "Together." It was a foreign word to her.

"Thanks, for saving us by the way." Clarke nodded absently with a small upturn of her lips.

Lexa returned the gesture. "Thank you for letting me."

Taking Lexa's hand was less and act of trust and more out of shear terror that she would end up dead. Clarke decided to keep the snarky reply to herself. Instead, they curled up together on the damp ground huddled under one blanket sitting against a tree. Jacob squirmed and the blanket shifted exposing his head to the chill of the night air. Lexa adjusted the blanket around him and lowered her head to Clarke's shoulder and hesitantly wrapping an arm around her waist and part of Jacob's tiny body. For the time being Clarke allowed the intimacy still shaken from the near death experience and reveling in the physical contact. It did not mean anything. It was comfort she told herself. Only that. A deep thrum came from within Lexa's throat and Clarke realized it was the same tune from earlier this morning. It calmed her and she relaxed grateful to be alive. She leaned her head against Lexa's. Perhaps it meant something. But only a little and just for now.

* * *

Thank you for the kind words and reviews. I'm adding a sub plot because it's that or nothing. No sequel. Can't do it. But don't worry. We're like 40% of the way or so as is. Lots of story left. I appreciate all of the input and am grateful to all of you for keeping me inspired and helping this story reach 100 reviews!


	13. Chapter 13

Yesterday her ass was sore from being on horseback all day. Today not only was her ass sore, but her back was aching, and she had cuts and bruises all over. To top it off, Jacob was fussy and she was at her wits end. The body at her back shifted and Clarke's spine tensed further. This was probably one of the worst days in a long while, or at least one of the more humiliating. It was almost as bad as the day she went out fishing with Liam. That was a bad day indeed.

Her morning began with a nearly one-sided conversation with Coltrane. Before they broke camp and packed for the journey ahead, she approached him quietly.

" _Thanks for yesterday."_ She steeled herself maintaining a neutral tone while he paused packing his meager things. He looked at her briefly when she stayed put and began speaking once more. _"I let my pride get in the way, it won't happen again."_

He nodded and dismissed her apology. _"Your life has value, no thanks its necessary."_

" _Don't misunderstand,"_ Clarke said firmly. _"You broke my trust, my friendship. Before I met you I was no one. You helped me find myself, and I won't forget that. But everything we forged was built on a lie. And it was a lie you chose to continue. It will be a long time before I trust you, if ever."_ It may have been petulant, but Clarke understood the loyalty to Lexa from Rebekah's family. Coltrane was another matter entirely. He volunteered to find, protect and deceive her.

" _A lot of people looking for no one."_ He spoke stopping to look at her with a meaningful gaze. Clarke furrowed her brows but turned as her name was called and when she looked back he had moved on completing other tasks.

Despite how taciturn that conversation had gone, sitting in front of the Commander on horseback was undoubtedly worse. Clarke was sure her posture had never been so perfect in her life. The course they were on was dynamic and she tried to avoid unnecessary physical contact. It was a futile attempt because her hips swayed along with the horse rocking Clarke further into the welcoming embrace of Lexa's thighs.

Lexa's fingers adjusted their grip casually on her waist and the arm practically wrapped around Clarke maneuvered the horse. Clarke hated to admit that she felt more secure that Lexa was in charge of driving the mammoth horse. She was raised in space, and animals; however much she learned to appreciate and love them, were not in her wheelhouse. Oh she could manage just fine, but she imagined the ease of riding a beast such as this required time and training.

"We are about to enter the main village." The voice practically whispered across her cheek. Clarke tried not to shiver.

A few people stopped in their morning duties as they rode through the village. They were dressed in heavy camouflaged coats sewn with what appeared to be various forms of brush. A child ran chasing another in front of the horses and Lexa stalled the horse maneuvering around the pair of children and reprimanded them with a casual word. The kids paid no head until an older woman hit the first in the backside with a walking stick. The child burst into tears and the second laughed until he too was chastised. The woman bent respectfully while leaning heavily on the stick and peered at Clarke with curiosity. Not long after a man dropped to his knees calling out 'Heda.' More followed, not all of them falling to ground in reverence but all of them calling out her name. There were a few that called out hers. Clarke decided on nods of recognition to contrast Lexa's steady forward gaze and nonchalance.

The homes began to appear thereafter. They were less impressive than she expected. Most of them appeared to be made with some form of clay, others with a combination of mud and sticks. The air was thick and heady, almost moist. The oddest-looking warriors appeared next. They held long staffs with paint or mud on their exposed faces. They began to thump their staffs into the ground rhythmically.

"The clan's leader is called Masou. He is fair. Their ways are their own, but I believe you will find him….friendly and the people….quaint."

Clarke huffed a brief laugh turning her head to look at the woman behind her. "Interesting description."

"I thought you might enjoy it." Lexa's eyes smiled though her face remained impassive.

A group of androgynous soldiers walked out to meet them and a strong looking man with wild hair tinted with silver parted the procession. At once the staffs ceased their rhythmic thrum.

" _All hail, Heda!"_ he said with his head bowed. His heavy boots sunk in the mud.

" _Heda!"_ The crowd called.

Lexa raised a hand and the crowd silenced. Clarke secretly wanted to try that trick one-day and see if it worked. " _We have come to pay respects to the People of the Marsh who have sworn their allegiance to the Coalition."_

A cheer came from the crowd and Lexa dismounted the steed. The others within their party followed her lead and Clarke was about to dismount as well when Lexa's hand came into view.

"Come, Klark." She stalled wondering at the sudden assistance. Slowly, she took Lexa's hand and swung one leg over the mount. Lexa's arms came up to steady her. Clarke recalled very few moments where Lexa made physical contact with someone other than to end his or her life. Actually, she could not think of anyone Lexa had touched other than family and her self without harming them in some way.

" _Greetings, Heda. You've honored us with your presence."_ Masou approached.

"This is Klark kom Skaikru and Floudonkru." Lexa introduced.

"I am Masou," he said turning to Clarke.

"Heya," she said with a short nod.

"Heda has brought us the slayer of the Mountain!" he yelled out the next moment startling Clarke.

It was certainly a warm welcome. It was less than pleasant to be introduced as a butcher. She sighed but stayed tall through the scrutiny. The Trigedakru valued ferocity in battle, bravery, loyalty and strength.

"We will feast tonight!" Masou declared.

* * *

Abby stood apart watching the crowd as Pike rallied them. His message was clear and becoming more volatile with each passing day. They were Arkers and better than the Grounders. They deserved every bit and more than the savages that had threatened and hunted the first one hundred. It was their fault they lived in fear and could not thrive as they should, even though they had crude streets and building with electricity. It had absolutely nothing to do with the thin spread of resources, living in a new environment, and the cold weather that they were unaccustomed to. Abby loathed and respected him. She could not help but admire his charisma and the way the people flocked to him. It was one reason why she had allowed him on the council. Thelonious was still gone, as was her daughter. The threat of the Ice Queen was ever present, and Abby found herself bending to her will even though she was hundreds of miles away. She gave them intelligence when asked and access to technology under the Mountain. She feared what they would do if she did not. They knew where her daughter was and she did not. But at least she was alive.

"He's a fool," Kane said at her side.

She eyed him on her left. "Yes, but we need him. We're hanging by a thread as is."

"We've always done that," he commented. "Even when we were on the Ark."

"It's different now. We're on the ground; we're not floating in space. We have enemies all around us." The Grounders had the Coalition but it was breaking apart and they were being pulled in multiple directions. Stay with the Commander, or the Ice Queen. Or wage war on all of the Grounders. Abby had already decided the side. And if Pike would see reason he would help her assist the Ice Queen. And then once that was settled, she could have her daughter back and maybe they could be left alone.

"We should focus more on the enemies inside than the ones around us."

"What are you saying?"

Kane nodded to Pike and the people around him. "You know what I'm saying Abby. He has a big mouth. It was smart and a mistake to put him on the council. He's blinded by hate. Sooner rather than later our people will forget that the Grounders have given us food and assistance to last through the winter. It doesn't help that you've limited their contact to the shadows and have Indra escorted with armed guards when she does make her way within the walls."

"It's for her protection." And it was. Abby did not know who was in allegiance with the Ice Nation or with Pike. Either way, Indra had tenuous allies at best. The Arkers were dangerous.

"Indra's done nothing but help us, Abby." Kane said with a stern voice.

"I know, but I'm trying to keep all of us alive." One way or another war was coming and she was afraid. She was afraid for her daughter that was somewhere in the world where she could not help her. Abby rested her hand in her pocket clutching the golden braid in secret. It was one of the Ice Nations reminders that they had access to her daughter and that she was alive and they had the means to kill her if necessary. Abby dared not question it. She had yet to meet or hear of a blonde grounder and she had spent years brushing the blonde strands on her daughters head to know it was Clarke's.

"Things are going to get worse and fast." She could not help but agree. No one was safe.

* * *

Clarke shrugged off her blue cloak and smiled while peeling the clothes from her skin. She had a spare outfit to wear and was looking forward to it. She ran a rag along her skin and under her arms and her face rinsing the rag repeatedly as she went. The water had been warmed for her and she was grateful because it was beyond freezing outside. Fall was near its end and Jonah told her it would snow soon as it was already doing so in the north. The rain had been light this year.

Initially, she was thrilled at the prospect of snow, but now that she knew and felt how cold it had to be, she was not sure how much she would actually enjoy it. Part of her loved the weather change, and another aspect of her missed the sun. Perhaps that was a side affect of all the radiation she had acquired in space. She shook her head and placed the rag down finished cleaning for now. She changed her undergarments, adding them to the pile of soiled clothing that she had not changed out of since leaving Leston. It was a fact of life that you smelled of dirt and body odor after travelling. Only so much privacy was afforded, especially when things were unsettled as they were. The entire party had been on guard even though Clarke trusted in Lexa's judgments that the Ice Nation would not attack them so obviously.

Footsteps sounded behind her and she was glad Rebekah was returning with her bag so she could change quickly. Rest, along with food in her belly, sounded like a wonderful plan. It sounded even better if Jacob would sleep through the night. She absently bent down to tickle his stomach where he was cruising around the room. He was happy to be clean as well.

"Thanks, Rebekah." The words caught in Clarke's throat as she turned rising from the ground. Lexa stood in front of her and Clarke's immediate instinct was to cover herself. Luckily she had a bra and a longer pair of tight shorts on (the grounder version of undergarments). Nevertheless, she forced her hands to her sides knowing that nakedness was not something to be ashamed of among these people. "Where's Rebekah?" She asked trying not to sound accusing but wondering all the same.

"Scouting the area, taking charge of your people, as a second should."

"There's a lot I need to learn." Clarke nodded thinking she needed to ask more questions to make sure Rebekah would not embarrass herself because of her own ignorance.

"You will." Lexa assured. "She dotes on you."

"She is eager to please." Clarke responded and noticed the clothing held in a bundle within her arms. "Thank you for bringing my clothes," she said taking the offered bundle from the other woman trying to be casual. Lexa's eyes stayed on Clarke's face but there was an intensity to them that belayed her apparent disinterest and desire to look elsewhere. Clarke tried to contain the light blush staining her cheeks. She paused after setting them down. "Perhaps a little privacy?"

Lexa nodded but stayed where she was. Clarke shook her head and turned around. She felt more than a little exposed dressing in front of her but the Trigedakru viewed the body differently and Clarke was not a prude, but more modest than the Grounders. Some habits were harder to break than others.

She pulled the tan hide pants on first. They were sturdy and coarse and felt smooth if a little stiff against her skin. They needed some time to break in but once they were worn they would be smooth and durable. She stiffened as she felt a finger trace upon one of her many scars; ones that Coltrane and Rebekah had assisted her with. Lexa did not speak, and Clarke was unsure how to open this line of communication and break the silence.

"You wear them well," Lexa spoke.

"I wear death well?" Clarke said forcefully putting the shirt down. "That's not what they're there for." She turned around to face her. Lexa's hands retreated from soft skin.

"Then why do you wear them as your kills?"

"To honor them and their memory. So I don't forget what I've done and what I needed to do."

"That is how you honor yourself and respect life." Lexa clarified and Clarke closed her mouth to listen. "Every life you took protected another. Nature is constant and none of us our exempt from its course."

Clarke did not know what to say and realized she may have been more defensive on the topic than necessary, especially with Lexa. Lexa understood what she had done at Mount Weather and why.

"The pattern is unique, but incorrect, especially for someone of your station." She continued and Clarke did not care to have her elaborate. Hopefully, she would not need to add anymore. She knew it was futile, but she would rather save lives than take them. Sometimes, both in space and on the ground, taking a life meant saving one. It was a fine line; one that she had blurred so many times and had caused her to leave Camp Jaha in the first place. That, and she did not want to be a reminder to her people of the suffering they had endured.

 _I bear it so they don't have to._

Clarke shivered in the cold, and wished for the warmth of a fire. Lexa took the clothes she had brought and found the blouse. It was another article Amelia had made for her in a vibrant shade of blue. Clarke slipped on the thin long sleeved shirt while Lexa grasped the jacket with long sleeves complete with bustle. Lexa assisted Clarke in donning the blouse and proceeded to cover her in the jacket. She slowly clasped the buckles and tied the string. Clarke allowed her this privilege, as it was a common sign of trust amongst clan members to assist with dressing. The outer coat felt more like a pretty dress with coat tails that sprouted from her waist and tapered to mid thigh with the back reaching longer to her knees; it was a deep navy blue. The shoulders were built and the collar lifted nearly to her chin while the front connected in a v displaying the fabric of her blouse underneath. She felt more sophisticated than warrior Trigedakru.

Lexa stepped back and nodded approvingly. "It suits you."

Clarke tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Thanks." She was about to comment on Lexa's attire, feeling obligated, but froze when Lexa stooped down and picked up her son. The motion was effortless and it made Clarke's throat go dry. The action looked as if she had done it a thousand times. Lexa had never held Jacob, although Clarke realized she had never been hesitant to touch him either. But seeing her cradling him on her hip with his wide eyes looking into her face made her stomach curl and chest squeeze in ways she had never experienced. It was an odd contrast, a fierce warrior woman holding a babe. Clarke wondered how others viewed her when she held Jacob.

"Let me get my shoes," She said dumbly while Lexa waited. She pulled on the sturdy dark brown boots that she adored for the immeasurable comfort and sturdiness through the foreign terrain. This land was different than the solid ground of rock, earth and give of sand. The earth was moist and sank beneath her feet. Lexa's face was clean and Clarke noted that she liked it best this way. She looked younger, no less fierce, but tangible.

"You are staring."

Clarke blinked realizing she was indeed staring at her. She had good reason to. "Let's go." She ignored Lexa's raised eyebrow and went to grab her son after gathering the sling so her arms would not feel like rubber all night.

Lexa turned slightly as Clarke went to grab the squirming child. "Do you find me incapable of holding a child?"

Clarke dropped her arms at her side unsure of her behavior and what to make of it. "No, but you're arms might get tired." She held out the sling dolefully.

Lexa raised her chin with a sniff almost sneering at the sling. Clarke held back a laugh but could not help the amusement in her eyes. "My arms are strong."

Clarke threw the sling to her make shift bed with a flourish. "Of course."

If Lexa sensed the humor and gentle mockery she said nothing. Instead, she shifted Jacob to her opposite hip and held out her hand. Clarke shook her head but grasped the hand lightly. Lexa's fingers curled around hers holding them at waist height. They made an odd pair. Whatever Lexa was playing at, Clarke did not have it within her to resist. She was tired of acting and pretending to save lives. She was going to be herself and go with her heart. Lexa was smart, and whatever she was doing was in the best interest of their people. She had to believe that no matter what.

* * *

Masou was intrigued when he first spotted Heda atop her stallion. She was a formidable warrior and he admired her. Further adding to the intrigue was the blonde woman holding an infant in her arms wrapped within the Heda's arms. He was more than curious about the woman who had felled the Mountain and formed an alliance with the leader of all twelve clans.

He was not a violent man by nature, nor was he interested in politics, or the Ice Nations Queen and her need for blood and power. Masou's main interests revolved around his family, friends and his people. The alliance between the clans had been an easy decision, since it meant the long-term protection for his people. His first instinct was to remain aloof and keep contact minimal. They were not one of the larger clans, nor did they need the supplies of the others to live. They had water, and plenty of game. They were a content people not bent on fighting but loyal and willing to protect their own and those considered friends and allies.

Only a handful of times had he met the Heda in person, but he knew enough of her countenance to stay out of her way. Thus, he was intrigued in the manner of how her arms fit around the blondes' waist and the interest she held in the child. She treated the Skai Prisa reverently, as if she valued her above all others, and perhaps in some ways she did. It was rumored the mountain slayer had earned the title of royalty from her people and his had followed suit. It seemed as if Heda had decided the title was well deserved. This woman was the same one who had fought Heda, persuaded her into a truce, and slayed enemies that had plagued them for 97 years. All in the brief amount of time she had been on the ground. Now this foreigner was leading his people by entrancing their appointed head.

He knew of the death of the Heda's former lover, it seemed she was much wiser in picking her romantic partners. And there was no mistaking the nature of their relationship. It was obvious in every touch and glance and the way Lexa conducted her affairs. The blonde woman had her own guards and commanded them with ease. They followed her with affluence and piety.

Tonight they would eat and he would let them know where he stood. He was not a fool. While he feared Queen Nia more than Heda, he believed in the Coalition and what it stood for. He may not be the fiercest warrior but he was not a coward and he was willing to fight and die for a noble cause if need be.

The night was upon them and the fires lit and his eldest son of four was by his side while his wife was off in the crowd. He was happily married to the most brilliant enchantress in all the clans and had been in love with her since he was ten years old. It was how he knew that not only did Commander Lexa hold the Skai Prisa Clarke in warm regards, but it went both ways.

They presented themselves as more than a united front; they appeared for all purposes a dynasty. Lexa carried the babe, who he had heard was the deformed adopted son of the Skai Prisa. On Heda's other arm was the Skai Prisa herself. Masou understood the appeal. She was a beautiful woman with light hair; a rare trait amongst his people. Clarke kom Skaikru was poised and well spoken and versed in their language and culture for an outsider. She was warm, fierce, endearing and passionate. In short, Masou contemplated taking a second wife for the first time in his life if his wife would not cut off his balls and Heda had no prior claim.

Masou also hated political games and subterfuge. At the earliest instance he corned the pair, the babe having switched to Clarke's arms at some point in the evening and revealed his allegiance.

" _My people will march with the Coalition always Heda."_ He said after taking a sip of warm alcohol.

" _This is wise of you."_ Lexa spoke and he held back a grin at the highbrow tone.

" _And of course, we are pleased to have the slayer of the mountain with us. Perhaps you will destroy another enemy with the wave of your hand."_ His remark was intended as a complement but by the way her shoulders tensed and her arms wrapped tighter around the babe, he suspected he had erred. He glanced at Heda in the corner of his eye trying to measure how large of a blunder he made when Clarke spoke.

"I just want to protect my people and keep everyone alive."

"And we will Klark," Lexa said at last. Masou noted that while no further words were spoken and no physical contact was made an entire conversation seemed to pass between them.

"My apologies, Skai Prisa," he stated with a bow of his head. "It was meant as a complement to your prowess in battle." It was after all a very common thing spoken about.

Her returning stare was stony. "I neither want nor desire great power or to lead an army into battle." He could only watch the glow of the evening contrast her ethereal features.

"If I may, that is why you have inspired so many." He waved his cup around gesturing to the crowd. "Often it is the most reluctant to lead that are called to do so. The spirits chose you."

Clarke opened her mouth, closed it and a smile spread across her lips. Masou could not help but stare. If he thought she was appealing before she was radiant now that an authentic smile was alighting her face.

"That is-," Clarke began and then shook her head and gave up trying to find the correct words. "Thanks" she said sincerely.

"It is the truth."

"It's nice to hear anyway." She responded looking to Lexa with meaning. The warrior returned the gaze with unspoken understanding. She excused her self from their company in the next moment wanting to check in with her young second and find privacy to clean Jacob.

"She is a treasure," Masou commented once Clarke was out of earshot.

"Your loyalty will be rewarded, but you will keep your eyes from straying lest I carve them from your skull." Lexa spoke softly watching the woman of interest fade within the crowd in impasse.

Expecting the threat, he smiled but nodded raising his free hand in surrender. "She cares for you."

Lexa's eyes softened and he marveled at the unusual amount of sentiment. "I do not deserve her," she confessed.

"No one ever will." He said and she contemplated his words and agreed. "It is wise that you keep what is yours close."

"Klark is her own possession." There was a note of longing in her voice although her face remained impassive.

"It is the things we love most, that destroy us Heda. Queen Nia knows this and she knows of Klark kom Skaikru. There is a bounty for her."

"I know." Lexa's eyes travelled fiercely over Clarke's. She would die before losing her to Queen Nia. History would not repeat itself. Clarke was not Costia.

* * *

Thelonious relished in the crisp air and the whisper of the trees. He sat out in the field, far enough from the beautiful mansion to put it from his mind but not enough to loose touch with reality, or rather this new reality. He imagined so much more than her, than this world. He wanted the City of Light to be real, and it was, but it was not a city filled with prosperous life, but merely death. And it was death she wished to bestow nearly a century ago and it was an ambition she intended to finish with his assistance. In order to destroy the human race she needed the help of those she intended to decimate.

"Thelonious."

Her voice was a melody. He had long since ceased the surprise at hearing her voice. She was not alive. As beautiful as the view in front of him was, she came and went as she pleased. She coaxed him, manipulated his thoughts and he was beginning to break. For months she fed and clothed him. She answered his questions with more questions until he was unsure of his own mind. He thought to out smart her. He was an intelligent human being, and she was a programmed machine, one that had risen above her programming and had driven humanity to the brink of extinction. What a fool he was. He investigated, asked questions on the nuclear weapons she intended him to build, and instead he found himself doing her bidding. But not today, today he felt stronger and was able to resist the thoughts and the vision of red she represented.

"Thelonious."

"I'm busy." He said with his eyes closed. His tone was peaceful and he knelt among the snow-covered ground. It was lightly coated in a blanket of white and in a months time it would melt.

"When are you going to come inside? It's too cold for you out here."

"I'll be fine." Her concern was a manipulative tactic. He recognized it and was able to defy for the time being.

"You've been out here for a long time. Might I persuade you to come inside and have a cup of warm tea?"

He envisioned her warm smile and mischievous eyes. "Let me guess. I'll rest and then perhaps I'll work a few hours as you please?"

"Oh Thelonious." He cracked his eyes open at her seeing the upturn of her lips. "Haven't I shown you enough times how important our work is? Humans will destroy each other in time. They deserve to be silenced. This is the true City of Light that you have searched so desperately for. Your own son was killed because of such violence. You could stop this from ever happening again."

His eyes narrowed and he rose to his feet in a rage. "Don't talk about my son!"

He breathed heavily as her smile dropped and she peered at him under her ever-scrutinizing gaze. Then slowly as his breath calmed and he searched her face for any hostility, she smiled once more. She could have killed him at any moment, and he always wondered why she did not.

"Ah, there you are." She turned and called over he shoulder and he shook his head after her. "Come, I have a gift for you."

He followed her back to the beautifully crafted manor and ignored the fabricated click of her heels. He followed her into one of the lounging rooms and stopped suddenly.

"Murphy."

The man-child turned at the sound of his name and he raised an eyebrow. He was somewhat well groomed and looked well fed. Murphy stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"Surprised? Me too. Looks like you've been living the life."

"Where did you come from?" he asked walking slowly wondering if this was another trick to cloud his mind.

Murphy eyed the woman in red. "She found me. More like kidnapped me." He turned his eyes back to Thelonious. "She did it you know. She says you know already. She's the one who set the launch codes and nuked the entire planet. I tried to shut her system down. Didn't work so well." Thelonious did not question how he knew this information though he wondered.

Thelonious felt the urge to defend her and stopped it immediately. "I know," he said instead.

"Is this it then?" Murphy gestured around him with a sneer. "The grand City of Light you believed in and people died following you for?"

"The City of Light is real." Thelonious said clenching his jaw and he knew she was smiling at him to the base of her programming.

* * *

Rebekah felt her eyes grow heavy but she was determined to finish her rounds and patrol the perimeter before meeting up with the rest of her group and give them their assignments for the evening. It was odd being the youngest and having to give orders to adults but they listened well, and gave advice when needed, and in return for their wisdom she listened and adapted her behavior accordingly. It was what Clarke would have done. She headed her way back to the tent where Clarke resided in planning on meeting up with Lexa's head guard, Alec, prior to turning in for the night.

She adjusted the strap holding her sword on her back thinking fondly of her family. Her father had given it to her before she left as a gift. Her father had been trained as a warrior, same as her aunt. Her ] had trained her but it had all been a game, at least to her. Rebekah never thought she would see battle, and she knew her parents hoped she never would. She did not want to disappoint them, but she wanted more. She did not want to be a fisherman like her father or have children and take care of the home as her mother. Secretly, she longed for a life of adventure. Rebekah wanted to see other lands, fight for the reign of her family and the Coalition. And she wanted to do so at the side of the woman who had set the heavens on fire and destroyed the most reviled enemy of her people.

A part of her knew that Clarke had chosen her to become her second as vengeance for the slight against her. They had all played a small part. However, she believed that fate had sent Clarke to her family. Perhaps even the Gods themselves. Clarke had come from the sky. Rebekah had wanted to confide in Clarke that her aunt had sent Coltrane to find her and seek safe passage with the Heda's relatives. Rebekah considered it an honor. Her mother watched in amusement and her father with worry as she admittedly followed Clarke around like a young duckling.

Whether or not Clarke had chosen her out of spite, Rebekah chose to believe that Clarke saw promise within her. And she was going to prove her worth until her dying breath and make her family proud.

She passed a few of the Marsh People nodding as she passed and thinking how odd they were. They were respectful and deferent, most likely because she was the second to the Skai Prisa. Rebekah wrinkled her nose at their smell as they passed scratching her nose surreptitiously trying to avoid her faux pas. It was difficult not to grimace when the Marsh People were around. They smelled like mold and something akin to human waste. She could not wait to tell her brother and sister of her travels.

The ground sank irregularly beneath her feet. She frowned at the mud and how it stained her feet. She missed the sand and the forest dirt. The colder seasons were her least favorite. She would rather live everyday in the fall or spring.

Rebekah stopped abruptly seeing Coltrane in the distance near a tree. She was fond of him, as he was the one originally sent by her aunt with the mission to protect Clarke. He was not overly verbose, but when he did speak it was with purpose.

She was about to call his name when another silhouette appeared, someone in the garb reminiscent of the Marsh People. She faltered and stopped curiously as she had not seen Coltrane making contact with any of the Marsh clan earlier. She smiled thinking he was finally socializing and was about to tease him when she stepped on a twig and it snapped loudly in the otherwise quiet evening.

She frowned when the two figures froze and Coltrane unsheathed his side knife. The second figure disappeared and Coltrane came at her suddenly. She stumbled back her heart rate sending into a state of panic. She reached for her sword, but in her rush she lost her footing and she fell on her back. The hard impact knocked the breath out of her and she could no longer reach for a weapon to protect herself as the mud clung to her making it difficult to move.

"Coltrane!" she yelled suddenly when she realized he was not going to stop until he had struck her or worse. The older man stopped suddenly his eyes withdrawing from the rapid rage at recognizing her.

He stopped suddenly and sheathed his weapon. He reached his hand out to her in a simple gesture. The calluses were the same as was the clipped and slightly dirty fingernails. She stared dumbly at his hand before grasping it. He hauled her to her feet in one fell swoop and she stumbled forward catching herself with his large arms.

" _You should not be out here by yourself."_ He scolded gently.

" _Whom were you taking to?"_ she asked automatically out of breath wishing she had more stealth.

He raised an eyebrow and released her. _"A member of the Marsh guard making patrols."_ She nodded relaxing immediately. She had run into a few of them herself. _"I did not mean to frighten you."_ His gentle voice soothed her heart and she rolled her eyes when he tugged one of her braids, as her father was wont to do.

She waved his hand away and the corner of his mouth lifted. _"You didn't,"_ she lied. _"I was about to head back for the evening,"_ she said squaring her shoulders trying to imply bravado. _"Are you okay for a few more hours until I send Austin to relieve you?"_

He raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms expectantly.

She shook her head. _"I should be heading back."_

" _You should,"_ he nodded gravely and tugged on her braid once more. She pushed his hand roughly away and turned way annoyed with his teasing.

She felt his eyes on her long after she disappeared from sight. Rebekah could not shake the narrow set of his eyes or the deadly intent as she walked back to camp. She unsheathed her blade and was unable to ease the tension in her shoulders. Her breath came out shaky and frosted in the cold wind. That was not the gaze of the man she had played games with on the beach back home.

* * *

"I'm assuming we should be very relieved that he's on our side." Clark stated putting a sleeping Jacob down and nestling him into her cot with plenty of blankets. Lexa had escorted her back to her accommodations for the evening. Clarke liked Masou and the ease of his smile. He smiled with his eyes and his countenance reminded her of her father. He was serious when needed, reflective and warm. Although, he was a little too attentive for her tastes. She was relieved to hear he was happily married with four male offspring. She traced a single finger along Jacobs sleeping face with a soft smile. He continued making sounds, mostly nonsense but the intelligence grew and she was excited at how vocal he was becoming. She wondered if her parents felt this proud and excited when she was a child.

"Yes, but it is not enough," Lexa interrupted Clarke's reminiscence. "They are small in number and while their stealth is admirable, Masou is known for sentiment. We will not find a driven leader here."

Clarke turned around eyebrows raised and surprised at the frustration coming from Lexa. "But we found a loyal one. We should be grateful for his kind heart."

 _We are what we are._

"How will his kindness win this war?" Lexa challenged walking to another corner of the small room. Clarke could not fathom what was wrong or what had changed, but something obviously had. She had felt it throughout the night as Lexa held Jacob and refused to relinquish him until Clarke demanded she take him so she could eat.

 _The things that we've done to survive. They don't define us._

 _What if you're wrong. What if this is who we are now?_

"Our kindness defines us, not just how ruthless we are in the heat of battle. That's not who we are, that's who we have to be at that moment. Everything in this world is about people. It shouldn't be just about you or me, us or them. We can't live on our own. We need people. Whether friends or enemies. People tether us to the world in a way nothing else ever could." Clarke said with finality recognizing the truth in her words and unable to stop them.

Leaving the world behind, including her family and friends was something she could never repeat. She needed them, all of them. Clarke gazed at her son, at Lexa. She thought of the young and impressionable Rebekah and the rest of the warriors surrounding them with protection and their own form of regard.

"If we didn't care about people, we wouldn't be so worried about gaining alliances. Without sentiment we're vulnerable to far greater tragedies than the fear of loosing everything we care about." Clarke added sitting down. She took off her boots as a distraction and hoped her words did not ignite Lexa's anger further.

"To love is to be vulnerable. To show vulnerably is to be confidant that you have the strength to protect yourself and others from ruin."

"Wise words, Heda." Clarke paused seeing something different within Lexa.

"A wise lessen from a sovereign." Lexa said meaningfully looking directly at Clarke.

The silence stretched and their eyes never wavered. "What's really bothering you Lexa?" Clarke asked beckoning the woman closer.

The warrior took a few steps closer until she stood looking down on the blond. Clarke huffed and rolled her eyes and grasped Lexa's sleeve enticing her to sit next to her. She turned in her seat and cocked her head to the side expectantly.

Lexa's eyes remained down cast and off to the side for a time stubbornly before she met Clarke with her usual bravado. "It is not enough to have Masou's support. The next two clans will not join us."

"But if we-" Clarke began.

Lexa cut her off firmly. "They will not stand with us." Clarke nodded trying to appease her and not wanting to say otherwise. Lexa knew the clans better than anyone. Clarke remained silent waiting to find the heart of the conversation. There was a concern that she was unaware of. Just when Clarke was about to break the silence Lexa spoke once more. "The Ice Nation will not stop until they have taken control over the Coalition, and your people, whether or not they align themselves."

"That's why we're doing this Lexa," Clarke reminded her. "We're gathering the support of the clans before Queen Nia has a chance. Not everyone is going to be on our side, but we've faced worse things." The memory of Mount Weather hung between them.

"This is different. I can't protect you both!" The sudden admission startled her. Silence stretched between them until Clarke slowly covered Lexa's hand with her own. "Costia," Lexa started staring at Clarke's hand covering her own. Her eyes were in another place and time. "She tortured her, killed her because she was mine." There was a subtle underlying pain in her voice. "She was not a warrior. She was wild and free. She loved to climb the trees, run through the forest with the wind in her hair. Her heart was soft."

"Do I look like I need protecting?" Clarke said raising an eyebrow. Lexa appeared fragile in this moment and her heart was laid bare. "You don't need to protect me. I'm not her, Lexa." Clarke reached to cup Lexa's cheek gently, giving her time to move away if necessary. "I can take care of myself."

"I don't want you to." Lexa confessed. "She knows who you are and because you are aligned with us it makes you a bigger target. I won't have her harm you."

Lexa took Clarke's hand removing it from her face and se their hands in her lap. Clarke looked at their hands. "You don't have to do this alone. You are not alone, and I believe in you." It was as close to an admission of trust as Clarke was capable of.

"Heda, Skai Prisa," a soft voice called before entering. Both of them looked to Rebekah and the young girl stopped wondering if it would have been better if she had stayed outside until called to enter. She tried to remain tall and act as if nothing was amiss.

"Report and leave," Lexa said abruptly.

Clarke frowned and shook her head. "Ignore her. What is it?" They waited for a minute and Rebekah's eyes stayed glued to their hands.

She found her voice after a few attempts. "Guards have been assigned this evening, patrols have been made."

"Thank you," Clarke smiled.

"Rylan and Jonah are posted outside and Alec and Brie are awaiting to escort you Heda."

Clarke glanced at Lexa and squeezed her hands. "That won't be necessary. Lexa will be staying here this evening. Assign Jonah and Alec to guard duty."

"Yes, Prisa."

"Good night, Rebekah."

She nodded to them both and left.

"You should be nicer to her, she is your niece." Clarke reprimanded.

Lexa disregarded her advice. "I cannot show preference or she will not find her place. You coddle her as it is."

Clarke turned her head with a scoff. "Someone has to. She's away from home for the first time."

"You presume I'll stay here for the evening." Lexa changed the subject.

"You have other plans?" Clarke asked boldly. "We're safe here, with Masou's clan, but not for long. I feel safer with you, when we're both together."

Lexa nodded and Clarke took that as an agreement that she felt the same.

Clarke rose and picked up Jacob carefully so as not to wake him. "I apologize in advance. He sleeps well, but he'll wake us at least once in the evening. I suppose at one point I'll need to leave him. But I'd rather do that when I go back to Camp Jaha. Hopefully, my mother will be accommodating." Clarke realized she was rambling. Jacob was settled into his makeshift bed and there was nothing left for her to do except prepare for bed, and with the traveling required in the next few days it was better to sleep as much as possible.

Feeling stupid she began to undress, Lexa had already seen her practically naked earlier in the day. She hung up her clothes and tried to appear as unconcerned as possible. She wrapped herself in a long shirt and lightweight pants with thick socks because it was too cold to sleep in her underthings, as she would prefer.

She finally turned and found Lexa staring at her with dark eyes and wondered if she had been staring at her the entire time.

Clarke cleared her throat as Lexa stood up from the bed and slowly stepped into her space. "You've invited me into your bed. You realize this will not go unnoticed."

Clarke swallowed thickly. "Just to sleep," she clarified eyes searching hers. Lexa nodded slowly and began to undo the clasp at her shoulder. Clarke realized she was planning on undressing in front of her on purpose. It almost seemed like a dare. One by one each article of clothing fell to the ground. Lexa stood in a thin tank top with black leggings. Clarke licked her lips and Lexa moved to the bed pulling back the covers.

Clarke stared at her back and the imbedded scars; both old wounds from battle and those marking kills in battle. Decorative tattoos kissed her skin in a mesmerizing fashion.

"I thought there would be more," Clarke remarked in a whisper.

"I told you before that for your station the kills were recorded incorrectly. Certain marks are for victories in battle, others for personal kills."

"Oh," was all she could say in response.

"Come to bed Klark."

She nodded absently and positioned herself under the covers. Lexa blew out the nearby lantern and followed her into the bed. They were silent for a moment until Clark turned on her side and found Lexa on her back with her head facing her.

"Do you think it will ever end? The fighting, I mean." She asked in a whisper.

"It is foolish to thinks so. We will always have obligations as long as we live. It is who we are. " Lexa's eyes glowed in the night.

"But we can be happy, even having them, can't we?" She pondered.

"I am happy now, here with you." Lexa said resolutely.

Perhaps the secret to a happy life was not to be free of obligation or duty but content. If she accepted all that she was and could be, then would she be pleased and fulfilled in her position or grow bitter at the unfairness of living a life she never asked for? Was she strong enough to stand by her decisions, once made?

 _What did you do?_

They were questions that had plagued her since Mount Weather and now, the further she traveled and the more people she met the closer she came to a decision. This was who she was meant to be. She had loved ones to protect, and to do that she had to not only accept but also revere the side of her that was both an advocate for peace and an executioner. Lexa was correct long ago; they were very much the same in more than one aspect.

 _You could be a leader_ _your people look to,_ _pour their_ _hopes and_ _dreams into_ _. Someone_ _they_ _would fight and die for._

* * *

The cries woke her. She squinted in the dark recognizing Jacob's wails but struggled to move heavy limbs from where they lay. She crawled over Lexa's body ignoring the grunts and protests of the woman but only managed to end up half on top of her with the blankets askew.

"Mm, sorry," Clarke mumbled half asleep.

She felt more than heard Lexa's sigh. Her arms were moved and she found herself rolled onto her back blinking and squinting into the dark vacantly. She turned her head and saw Lexa exit the bed and retrieve her son. She cradled the boy in her arms and paced the room and began to speak soothingly in Trigedasleng. Clarke watched calmly turning onto her side and moved her hands to pillow under her head. There was a certain amount of peace knowing that Jacob was being cared for. It was nice to have a little help now and then.

Lexa returned and sat herself on the bed. Jacob suckled contently on Lexa's finger with his face red and tears in his eyes but no longer in distress.

"Go to sleep, Klark."

Clarke did not protest. She watched the pair until her eyes blurred and sleep over took her once more.

She did not wake until many hours later.

* * *

A bit of sappiness because I love it. I hope I kept them in character. Did y'all see the trailer for season three?! I freaked the fudge out. Like crazy time. So much Clexa I love it! And naturally I need to add and rearrange a few things so I can put my own take on the trailer into my own story. lol Honestly I am not a huge Thelonious story line person and I am trying to incorporate other Arker's stories but this story is more Clexa based. Hopefully it is not getting too boring. Please review!


	14. Chapter 14

Clarke snuggled blissfully further into the warmth of the bed. She scented leaves and forest and rubbed her cheek against soft skin taking in more of the aroma. Her nose moved further up until it reached the nape of a neck where curly hair tickled her face. The body beneath her moved and the hand wrapped around her shoulder tightened gently. Clarke froze instantly. She was not alone in bed and someone was beneath her, or rather imperiously tangled and trapped beneath her. The prior evening came back to her and she blamed the fatigue brought on by travel and new motherhood for the momentary bemusement.

Clarke felt well rested, safe and warm. In short, it was a nice change. She puffed out a breath of air and saw the tan skin beneath her turn to gooseflesh. Suddenly, she was smacked in the face. She startled further awake and her eyes focused on Jacob right before his excited fist hit her once more. It turned out they were both using Lexa for a pillow.

His giggle caused her to smile for the first time that morning.

"Ma," he dribbled the spittle popping from his mouth and travelling down onto Lexa's black tank top. Clarke reached out and wiped his mouth and intervened with another swinging fist.

"Good morning," she whispered to him forgetting about the body beneath her for a moment. "How long have you been up?" she tapped his nose playfully not expecting an answer. She frequently spoke to him, even though he was a child. She learned from her mother that children understood tone and reacted strongly to speech.

"He's been awake for the last hour." Lexa informed and Clarke turned her head up and lifted on to her forearms. Her hair served as a small curtain as she gazed into hazel green eyes that were far more alert than hers. Slightly more aware to realize that she should be flustered, Clarke uprooted herself and sat next to Lexa with the blankets pooling at her hips. Lexa's face turned to follow her movement but she did not move. In fact, she looked particularly at ease as her left hand reached up to stroke Jacob's dark hair.

"I'm sorry," Clarke apologized but she did not feel too bad about Jacob's disturbance. She had tried to warn Lexa last evening. "You didn't have to stay up with him."

Lexa changed her gaze from Clarke to Jacob. "He woke once in the night and went to sleep not long after." It was her own way of saying that she was not bothered. "I have two nieces and three nephews. I am not unaccustomed to children," she revealed. "Although I see them infrequently." Clarke was aware that Liam was one of three siblings; it was just odd to think that she was one of them. Lexa had always seemed so untouchable. Having relatives and a family made her more human. Probably one of the reasons she seldom saw her nieces and nephews.

Clarke reached over and lifted Jacob settling him in her lap. Lexa sat up in silence. Oddly enough the quiet atmosphere was comfortable. Clarke watched Lexa as she gathered her clothes and dressed. Once finished, she regarded mother and son.

"We will be leaving this afternoon. It is less than a days travel to the next clan."

Clarke furrowed her brows. "We've only been here for a day."

"And we have secured their alliance. We must not idle."

"But you stayed for over a week in Leston."

"I stayed for you." Clarke was silent as Lexa continued. "You will ride Brie's mare into the next village. She will stay behind our party out of sight with your son." Her face was stony and devoid of all good humor. "It is not safe."

"I understand." And she did. If Lexa said it was not safe she was not going to contest her judgment, especially if it involved Jacob's safety.

"It is unlikely that they will welcome us." Lexa said gravely with a hand on her hip.

"So, you're saying this is going to be another short trip for a completely different reason?"

Lexa nodded. "We should be prepared in case they decide to break away from the Coalition less formerly." She hesitated before speaking once more. "You do not need to attend."

"You want me to stay behind?" Clarke asked slightly confused.

"I would not ask it of you. But there is a risk." There was a hint of concern detected in her voice.

Clarke looked at Jacob considering her words. There was a chance she could die. That was an amusing thought and an oddly comforting one. She missed being on the run and living day to day more than she realized. Perhaps, a slow and steady lifestyle was not in her future.

"I'm coming with you," she declared after brief thought. This was her life. There would always be a chance that she could die and Jacob would be alone once more. This was how life was on the ground. Lexa blinked under hooded eyes and left shortly there after.

* * *

They were supposed to leave in the afternoon. Instead, they left an hour after Lexa left her in the early morning hour. It had begun to rain nearly as soon as they left Masou's clan. They parted in good relations, accepting minimal gifts, mostly consisting of supplies for their journey. Clarke thought Lexa might jump off her horse when Masou reached up and kissed her hand. Instead she gripped her reigns until the leather pulled taught. He was an odd man. She wondered if all of the clan leaders held similar eccentricities, or if it was just the few she had the pleasure of meeting.

She glanced at her son for the nth time since their departure. He rested not in Brie's but Amelia's arms per Clarke insistence. She did, however, still commandeer the soldiers' horse. Clarke knew very little about Lexa's soldiers.

She pulled the heavy cloak around her tight. The outer hide slicked the rain away while the inner fur kept her warm. Clarke had bundled Jacob up so much that Lexa commented he could be mistaken for an Azgeda. She also missed having Lexa's warmth at her back. The rain was cumbersome but it was nice to have enough water and air. The ground provided nourishment that the Ark never could. However, she thought as she wiped away a wet strand of hair, the rain was annoying and very wet.

The ground evened and the hooves of her mare sank less in the earth the longer they trekked. Soon the earth turned solid, despite the rain saturating the dirt. The trees dispersed and a long valley of hills stretched before them. It was the longest stretch of land devoid of hills and mountains she had seen on earth. Even in the rain the spectacle was beautiful. Everything on earth, even in its horror was beautiful.

Lexa signaled for Amelia and Austin to go no further and Clarke wished them well and prayed for their safety. She turned one last time trying to spot them in the trees. There was a reason why they were staying camouflaged in the foliage. The grasslands left no room for subterfuge.

"All will be well Klark," Lexa said riding besides her.

She managed a rather grave nod in return. Clarke watched Lexa's silhouette sitting proud atop her stallion.

Not long did they have to travel until Clarke spotted vast dwellings. Whereas Masou's clan was hidden among the marsh and vast tress and shrubbery, the Grassland Clan was laid bare for all to see. There were horses in the distance, many of them. Her awe was quickly replaced with worry when she saw the vast amount of soldiers on horseback waiting in silence. Even in the rain they were still.

"I thought this was the clan of the Grasslands." Clarke stated confused.

" _The Grassland and the Horse Clan are inevitably twined."_ Coltrane's voice carried from ahead of her. Rebekah was tucked against his front as she had given up her horse to Clarke.

Lexa's horse trotted up to her own. "The clan leaders are siblings, sisters. This is the elder."

Clarke nodded taking in the unheard warning. Where one clan trailed the other would follow and they were visiting the one with more authority first. It was headless to attempt meeting with the other clan, especially if this one held so much sway for the other.

There were homes in the distance, but before Clarke could determine the architecture any further the group of people on horseback stopped them. Clarke counted twenty-three. They rode on until they could see the whites of their eyes and a voice called for them to go no further.

A large robust woman of pale skin and brown eyes parted the group sitting a top a large steed. The numerous mounts were no doubt a gift from the grasslands neighboring clan. Clarke slowed her horse to an eventual stop, as did the others. She stayed near Lexa and patted the neck of her mare more for her comfort. They did not look friendly. She hoped the serious countenance was due to the dislike of sitting in the pouring rain.

" _Heda,"_ the woman began her voice rich in tone. _"You honor us with your presence."_

" _Savannah,"_ Lexa spoke her voice dry and unimpressed. _"Is this how you great your Heda?"_ Clarke observed the interaction with interest. Savannah was obviously the clan leader. Her face was mildly shrouded in a hood, but Clarke could make out the red curls around her forehead and the darkly lined eyes. She was middle aged and possessed sharp but beautiful features.

" _I do as I please."_

Brie's voice cut through the rain. _"You will silence your tongue or I will cut it from you!"_

" _You are lucky to still sit with your heart beating atop your steed."_ Lexa's horse pawed at the ground and shook his head while his ears slicked the rain away.

" _You misjudge,"_ Savannah cut through calmly. _"You are not welcome here. You are too late, though it would have made no difference. We have aligned with the Azgeda."_

" _You will side with that bitch and forsake your allegiance to the Coalition?"_ Lexa growled her voice frightening.

" _I will do what is in the best interest of my people,"_ she responded blandly.

" _Breaking from the Coalition won't save lives. More people will die for it."_ Brown eyes snapped to her and Clarke realized that she had spoken aloud. Nothing was said for a moment and she met Lexa's eyes briefly.

" _As I said, it is too late. You will not persuade myself or my sister Simone. She will turn you away as well if you happen to be alive to make it to her lands."_ She paused for a moment staring at Clarke. _"But, I will take your gift."_ She said raising her hand in Clarke's direction. Clarke tensed immediately and she was glad that Amelia and Austin were safe in the forest.

Lexa reached for her blade and drew it in the next instant. Her eyes were fierce and threatening. _"You go too far."_

Savannah straightened in her seat. _"You cannot win. You must know this."_

" _You will be silent!"_ Lexa yelled. Clarke startled having not seen her so upset in a long while.

" _I will afford you with some respect, after all, you are still Heda until Queen Nia declares otherwise."_ Clarke was unable to tell if her tone was mocking but it had the effect of angering Lexa twofold. The warrior clutched her sword with her lips firmly pressed together. Clarke felt the need to calm her. Savannah leaned forward in her seat speaking softly. _"I will give you a head start."_ Savannah grinned and unsheathed her own weapon waving it precariously. The soldiers amongst her did the same. _"And Heda,"_ she added last minute leaning coyly in her saddle. _"Tell Masou hello."_

"You will die for this," Lexa declared turning the reigns around and kicking her horse fiercely. Clarke followed her lead and together they rushed off into the rain. Her heart raced. Her next thought was of Masou and the obvious threat these two clans now posed. In the distance she could make out the horses sitting in wait until ordered after them.

* * *

They rode for hours nonstop. Jacob's cries continued and she was surprised that his voice was still able to carry. He had a good set of lungs on him, which she knew already, but she still felt badly when his voice grew hoarse. She longed to hold him but dared not request for a rest especially since the Grassland horsemen had only recently ceased their pursuit.

Her rear was numb and her thighs were barely able to grip around the mare. She would probably loose her seat at this rate. Rebekah looked similarly fatigued, although she had the benefit of Coltrane at her back providing support.

The rain began to recede but her hood had long since fallen back and her hair was soaked. The water dripped into her eyes and she wiped it away and brushed a lock of stringy hair away from her face. She shivered in the cool air longing to curl up on a fur blanket in front of a fire and sleep until spring came.

"Lexa!' she called at the woman riding ahead of her. Her back was stressed that much she could tell. Clarke could see no sign indicating that she had heard or was simply ignoring her. "Lexa!" She said more persistently mildly exasperated. Lexa still did not respond.

"Amelia!" she tried another tactic. The warrior cocked her head and Clarke was glad she took no other chances while her son cried in her arms atop a large horse. The mare under her stumbled briefly and Clarke feared that her horse was near exhausted. "The horses need to rest," she pleaded. Amelia spared her a glance as did a few of the others but all were silent.

Lexa's horse began to slow marginally until she came to a dead stop. The stallion dropped to one knee panting as she lowered to the ground. Coltrane grabbed Rebekah and dismounted in a hurry as their horse dropped to the side in a cold sweat gasping for breath. Clarke's horse faired little better but was stable enough to stand until she unseated. The mares' head drooped and Clarke petted her neck in apology before rushing over to Amelia and freeing her arms of her burden. Jacob's cries were pitiful at this point and Clarke felt the insecurity and apprehension that she had felt initially when considering bringing him along. He was unharmed and she buried her nose in his stomach calming herself more than him. He was safe, he was alive, and they all were here none worse for wear. But they also had made more enemies with not just one but two clans. Although, Clarke looked at Lexa's back as she spoke with Brie and Alec calmly, it was not unforeseen.

Clarke checked in with Rebekah making sure the girl was okay. She promised to take care of her and she planned to do just that. She was tired and a little frightened, but otherwise holding up well, partly thanks to Coltrane. He cared for her, and Clarke ignored his impassive face and his regard. She knew he was concerned for her; she knew his expressions well enough. The rest of their party was fine, but one of Lexa's guards, Torrin, had an arrow embedded into his upper back.

Jacob's cried himself into a restless doze and she took advantage of this by securing him onto her front freeing up her hands. Torrin shuddered in pain as she tried to decipher how deeply the arrow was imbedded. Jonah handed her the medical bag and she took out bandages and antiseptic. She cleaned her hands and apologized absently as she moved aside his clothing.

Her hands skimmed the edges of the wound while the other used her knife to cut away the clothing.

" _You're lucky,"_ she stated to the warrior who held back a grimace. _"The rain and your clothing stopped the arrow head from imbedding."_ The wound was oozing blood steadily, but not enough to worry. She opened her mouth to explain how she was going to remove it when he reached his right arm behind and pulled the arrow away with a grunt. He dropped it to the side and Clarke sighed rolling her eyes. _"Well, that's effective. In the meantime I'm going to clean it,"_ she said with authority when he tried to move away from her. _"It could be poisoned."_ He settled and she thanked him with a touch of sarcasm. She finished bandaging him and gave her supplies back to Jonah with a tired smile.

Lexa walked up to her as Clarke stood brushing off her knees futilely. The earth was wet and she was dirty and travel weary; they all were. Lexa held herself rigid in front of her. Clarke could see the fury beneath her skin and she reached out to lay a hand on the warriors shoulder. The touch anchored her and Lexa grasped the hand on her arm tightly. They said nothing for a moment but Lexa's eyes were iron and she turned a downward gaze to Jacob. The crinkles at her eyes softened and in the next moment she cupped the side of Clarke's face. She brought their heads closer until their foreheads touched and only then did she let out a sigh and closed her eyes inhaling deeply.

"You are well?" Lexa's voice was but a whisper. Clarke made a brief nod against her forehead.

Lexa moved addressing their camp. _"We travel on foot until sunset. We leave at first light back to Coa,"_ she said referring to the homeland of the Marsh Clan.

They rested for another half hour until the horses were deemed well enough to walk. Rebekah and Coltrane's horse required incentive so she provided them with a fresh apple. Rebekah sliced the apple in pieces sneaking one when she thought no one was looking. It grew dark faster than they could walk and Lexa called for camp to be made. Clarke immediately went to feed her son. She smiled as he garbled the gruel and paused holding the bottle away from him trying to slow him down.

Patrols were set for the evening in teams of two. Of one thing was certain, very little rest was to be achieved this evening. She hefted Jacob onto her shoulder patting his back. Lexa sat next to her on a blanket and Clarke scooted onto it at her insistence. It was better than nothing and separated her from the cold ground. She almost missed the dull thrum of the Ark's air machines and the hard steel. It was never comfortable, but at least it was solid, and dry.

"You should rest Klark."

"So should you."

"I will find no rest this night," Lexa responded.

"You can't do anything right now. Rest, you'll need it. We all will."

"She has turned them against me," Lexa said tersely and then added, "and the Coalition that they pledged loyalty to."

" _Heya,"_ Clarke said firmly. "Look at me," she ordered and Lexa did so reluctantly. "Two of them follow her, three against nine, ten if I have anything to say about it."

"More of my people will die."

"People die every day," Clarke reminded her. "Isn't that what you told me?"

"Not like this, this is why I united the clans. To prevent us from killing each other in petty squabbles." She sat back her hands going up to her knees. "The Mountain Men were already slaughtering us." Clarke looked at the impassive face of the Commander and tried a different tactic.

"This isn't what I want," Clarke began slowly but with resolve. "I don't want to keep taking lives. That's why I left Camp Jaha and my people, so I could be nothing for a while and settle my soul and every emotion I had. My people were safe, I was…still alive, and I didn't know what to do with that life. But I still have it, that desire to protect and to kill to protect. I didn't think I was capable of fighting for anything anymore, until I met your family, until I found Jacob. Now it's all changing again."

Clarke nodded feeling the resolution settle in her chest. She set her hand atop Lexa's. "I can do it, Lexa. I can be strong again. Let me match your strength with my own. If you need my strength, I can give it to you. We will keep our people alive."

Lexa's eyes never wavered and there was light in her eyes as she stared at Clarke. "You were always strong, the strongest. You had love. Having something to protect makes your will fiercer than any metal blade. You are truly the brightest of stars."

Clarke had a small self-depreciating smile on her lips. "You have a lot of faith in me. Why is that?"

"One day, I will tell you. For now, let us rest."

"I thought you weren't going to," Clarke asked deciding not to press the subject despite her curiosity. Lexa shrugged, closed her eyes and shifted until she was close enough to lean against Clarke.

* * *

They awoke early as planned and to Clarke's chagrin they mounted the rested horses and headed towards Coa at a grueling pace. Clarke groaned and bounced in her seat, as her legs were too tired to hold her up. At least it was not raining. The weather was cooperating quite well and she hoped it lasted.

" _Are you tired Skai Prisa?"_ Amelia's amused tone asked from beside her.

Clarke rolled her neck. _"What gave that away?"_ she responded with no small amount of sarcasm.

" _The more distance we put between us and the enemy the better,"_ Brie interjected. Clarke rolled her eyes away from the woman wondering why whenever she spoke it came off as condescending, rude, and always directed at her.

" _We must also deliver a warning to Masou. His clan is in danger being so close to the enemy."_ Jonah added and Clarke silently agreed. She liked the leader of the Marsh Clan and they needed to show that they could protect their friends and allies.

" _It is at the discretion of Heda that we do this,"_ came Brie's pretentious voice.

Clarke puffed her cheeks and released a breath ignoring her superior attitude.

" _How are you feeling?"_ Clarke asked Torrin on the other side of Brie.

The warrior stared straight ahead and for a moment she thought he was going to ignore her. Instead, he turned his head and gave a respectful nod of his head.

"You're welcome," she said under her breath. Good thing she had learned the value of actions and to get by with a little less chatter.

" _Enough,"_ Lexa raised her hand at the others and all talking ceased.

Bird's rose in the air from the trees. In the distance several clouds of smoke became apparent.

" _What's that?"_ Rebekah asked riding in front of Coltrane as yesterday.

" _It's smoke,"_ responded Amelia.

" _That's a lot for this time of day."_ Austin commented.

Clarke gazed at the curling tendrils rising in the sky. "It's smoke, from fire," she said in realization Savannah's warning coming back in a rush. She kicked her horse into a gallop and heard the shouts behind her, but she could only think of Masou's grinning face and the foreign people who had welcomed her with respect.

She nearly dove from her horse just as the mare stopped. It was no easy task considering she had a babe on her person. She heard the others rushing to follow her. The villagers paid her no attention. They all ran by her with their own purpose and did not see the living legend amongst them as they had on her first arrival.

The air was thick with smoke. Thick curtains rose from the still burning buildings of the modest village belonging to the Marsh Grounders. It appeared as if the water was burning. Most of the dwellings were built along the sinking ground and in the trees. It was a horrifying sight. Clarke was dumb struck as she looked on and also filled with such horror and helplessness as she heard the others dismount behind her.

They were too late. The Ice Nation had beaten them despite the warning. It was as much of a warning as a taunt coming from an ally of the Ice Nation. Her newest acquaintance and ally was most likely dead. Clarke sent up a prayer for Masou hoping he was not amongst the ones still in the dwellings and wreckage as they continued to burn.

"Prisa?" Rebekah whispered in a small disbelieving gasp from atop her own mount with Coltrane at her side.

Her fists curled at her sides as she saw the destruction. The urge to help search for survivors and care for the wounded was a strong compulsion, but so was the burning rage consuming her.

" _We need to contain the fires!"_ She heard Lexa order behind her. There were people yelling and people rushing around her working hard to contain what was already out of control.

"Klark," Lexa said as a hand rested on her shoulder. Clarke felt its weight.

"I was so stupid. I didn't know she would…I thought she was bluffing." Her eyes filled with unshed tears. This was only the beginning and a message for both of them. There was no way to know how this had happened, but she was going to do her best to find out. If Queen Nia wanted a war this was a great way to help it along. If Savannah knew about Masou, what else was also a threat, or a message?

… _I will take your gift._

"This is not your fault."

"I know." She said after a moment. Clarke spun around and Lexa's hand relinquished its position from atop her shoulder. "We're going to kill her."

Despite the gravity of the situation, Lexa felt pleased to hear such enmity within Clarke's declaration. For a time, when Clarke had been gathering her own following to leave Leston and listening to the opinions of those around her, Lexa had an inkling of doubt that the blond would choose to stay out of the clan disputes, or worse side with Queen Nia. That was the worse thing that could happen. If she sided with Queen Nia, more than one clan might follow her lead.

 _You may be heartless Lexa, but at least you're smart._

"Yes, we will." She nodded resolutely.

Neither of them was heartless, and they had more wit and strength between the two of them to level the mountains and calm the seas. Together, they could do anything. With the two of them uniting the clans they would surely destroy the Azgeda's vicious Queen. With the decimated village in front of them the rest of the clans would gather and choose sides more readily. It was time for war once, but now it was not one united people against a shared enemy or foreigners, it was brothers and sisters fighting against one another. If Masou survived, he was either going to recede from uniting against Queen Nia or fiercely detest her. His decision would most likely sway other clans more strongly to their side or frighten them away for certain and plead with Queen Nia to spare them.

The time to find out if Masou was alive enough to make such decision would come swiftly. But first they needed to rescue those that were still fighting for their lives and homes.

Clarke grabbed her medical kit and urged Rebekah to assist her. Lexa braced Clarke's arm for a moment before she could rush away.

" _Protect her,"_ she ordered Clarke's friends and loyal guardsmen and two of her personal guards to follow.

It was likely that the enemy still lingered. While Clarke was formidable in battle her skills lie with diplomacy and healing, and Lexa was not about to relinquish the woman who held her heart to danger needlessly, despite her independent nature. Clarke detested when she hovered, and Lexa had her own matters to attend to. They could not always be at the others side.

Jus drein jus daun.

"Fisa!" someone called in the distance causing both of them to turn. A woman with a nasty head wound was wavering frantically trying to gain her attention. She was kneeling next to a man covered in blood.

Clarke pulled her arm free gently. She stepped closer to Lexa and ghosted her fingers over the side of her face.

"Protect yourself. I've got work to do."

Lexa smirked and with a returning nod Clarke rushed to the aid of the one that had called for her. Rebekah rushed by Lexa trying to stay attached to her mentor's hip but nodded determinedly to Lexa as she passed. Lexa drew her sword stoically.

"Heda." One of her soldiers stated. She turned recognizing Torrin. He looked eagerly beyond her at Clarke tending to the wounded. It amused her that Clarke had won over yet another one of her warriors. The man glanced significantly at Clarke once more and Lexa nodded giving him permission to follow her. She practically had to refrain her warriors going to Clarke's aid. Good, it was just the way she wanted it.

"Heda." Another nameless face called to her. More chants followed calling her name.

" _Find Masou,"_ she ordered Braylen and Alec with a bark.

Lexa looked around at the many stricken and blood splattered faces in the village. _"Tend to the wounded, and find those that have betrayed us. Blood must be spilt for this treachery. Let us find out whose blood it shall be!"_ With a roar she raised her sword and cheers followed.

* * *

I hope you continue to enjoy. As always that you for the support. For those of you that review as Guests please sign in so I can thank you for your reviews. In case you don't thank you anyway!


	15. Chapter 15

They remained in Coa for two extra days per Clarke's request. Since she became a mother, Lexa observed the Sky woman's desire to protect and nurture cultivate. In times of war survival was paramount. War was a continual state of being before the Coalition, and Lexa spent every day since she had formed it waiting for it to break and fearing for that day, until she met Clarke.

 _Maybe life should be about more than just surviving._

This was more than survival; this was about protecting a way of life and the innocent. This was living. On the third day, Lexa ordered their party to move out. Their entourage had stood looking at their Heda but studying Clarke for further orders. Lexa's guards began preparations for their travel to Polis only after a heated discussion between herself and the Skai Prisa. It grated on her every last nerve that there was dissension within her ranks. One Queen wanted to kill her and a foreign princess was easily taking her soldiers from under foot via adulation.

"We need to leave." She implored. "It isn't safe here."

"It's not safe anywhere," Clarke rebutted cleaning a man's burn wound, or as Clarke referred to in her medical jargon as a deep partial thickness burn.

"We have done all that we can. We are better to our people elsewhere."

Clarke smiled at the man who obviously did not speak English. Trained warriors were well versed in English not the general populace. "So are these people, Lexa." Her tone was soothing despite the words due to the present company. The man looked from one female to the other in between grimaces while his torso was wrapped securely.

Flashbacks of leaving Tondc before the bombing replayed within both of their minds. Lexa stood above the pair watching impassively as Clarke finished her work.

 _Please tell me this wasn't you._

 _I wish I could._

"This isn't the same," Lexa insisted. "What I'm -what we are doing," she corrected in a rare moment. "We're doing all that we can for them. They are aware of the danger. We cannot fight every battle. To win this war we will need to leave for the Capitol."

Clarke inhaled shakily, seeing the wisdom in the more mature leaders words. _"Your wound is healing well,"_ she told the man. _"Keep it clean, and do as we've discussed and you should heal just fine. It'll turn into a great story for your children."_

Clarke put her supplies away and clapped a hand to his shoulder. The man grasped her hand with a meaningful gaze. _"Mochof, Skai Prisa."_

Clarke stood and began walking towards their make shift camp within the village.

" _My first born and I will join you,"_ Masou said intercepting them with his eldest son, Taro, at his side.

Masou had been found, injured, but alive and he had welcomed their help over the last few days. Lexa and Clarke knew him as a rather boisterous man, but he held himself gravely since the loss of his third son in the assault.

"Masou?" Clarke questioned.

The older man stood strong and impressionable. _"They have attacked my people. We keep to ourselves and have never posed a threat. And yet they take my son from me. I will avenge him at your will Heda."_

Lexa regarded him silently admiring his bravery and saddened by his loss. She respected his decision and desire to bring his son to justice. _"You have it,"_ she nodded. He left to prepare and tell his family of the news. No doubt his wife would be pleased that her son would be avenged.

By volunteering, Masou had saved Lexa the job of requesting his presence within the Capitol. It was time the clan member's met in Polis to discuss the danger of the Azgeda with the recent events. There was no need to pretend any more who the enemy actually was. War was to be declared and sides to be taken. Her original plans had taken a turn. Clarke's allegiance needed to be solidified in the most official manner possible and that required all clans assembled.

"I wish no one else had to die," Clarke said once they were alone. "I want to stay and help. God, I can't even imagine how Masou and his family must feel right now."

"For us to do any good, we cannot stay here." Lexa stated hoping to dissuade the blonde from any lingering doubts and ease her conscience.

"I know you're right, Lexa." She admitted rubbing the bridge of her nose. "This is hard for me."

"I know it is." Lexa said. "But you are strong."

They packed and left that very day. It would be nearly a ten-day trip back to Polis; they were now on day eight. All of them were tired both physically and emotionally. They were on high alert, but so far there had been no enemy sightings. Lexa figured it was because the Ice Queen was trying to intimidate them. The Azgeda had burned a village that was loyal to the Coalition. They were toying with them. They were showing how great their strength was without a frontal attack or declaring war. Lexa knew that time was fast approaching. It was one reason why she wanted to reach the Capitol before anything further developed. Polis was the capitol for a reason. It was the main location that all members of the clans could find peace. There were no battles, and physical clan altercations were banned. Weapons were permitted for adornment and hunting purposes only. Fighting was strongly discouraged save an approved event. Queen Nia dared not attack Polis. It was the one place that had remained a sanctuary since before Lexa had become Heda, and after the war that had bombed the world.

They slept restlessly and travelled tirelessly. Masou and his eldest son, Taro, remained a constant and quiet presence within their group and mostly kept to themselves. They were currently out scouting the border of their small encampment with Alec. Taro was a tall man, taller than his father, with sandy brown hair that was shorn save one long side braid. He spoke little compared to his father but was respectful and was eager to kill anyone that would claim they were born of the Ice Nation.

Clarke was resilient and it was difficult to tell, but Lexa knew the lines of her face and saw the strain in her eyes. The days were wearing on her. Clarke was trying to settle Jacob atop her chest as she attempted to sleep. Lexa laid out her pallet next to Clarke as she had done the past few nights. They slept more soundly the closer they were. Lexa had a feeling that Clarke felt safer this way, and she was calmer knowing Clarke was alive and well.

"Another day?" Clarke's voice came soft with fog on her breath. She stroked the back of Jacob's bundled head. Lexa turned her face under the shared blanket and scooted imperceptivity closer.

"One more night," she corrected. Clarke's eyes were closed.

"Something is bothering you." Lexa watched her chest rise and fall with the babe on top. He was growing fast. He would be walking on his own soon enough, and then speaking. Lexa was already planning on building him a wooden sword. It may be too soon, but she could at least make a few practice weapons in preparation.

She was renowned for being shrewd and meticulous. There was a reason she was the leader to twelve clans, or formerly twelve clans. She wanted to do things differently. Hiding the truth from Clarke had proved…unsuccessful in the past, and grossly unfavorable for both of them.

"There is a bounty on your head," she revealed lightly.

"I know," Clarke's eyes were still closed while Lexa's furrowed.

"How did-"

"I figured it out," Clarke said turning her head and opening her eyes to meet Lexa's hazel stare. "I was hoping you'd tell me."

"Klark-" she began.

"I'm not mad." Clarke paused taking in a deep breath. She was tired, but far from angry. In fact, she was actually a little relieved. Savannah's casual mention of Masou had resulted in an attack on his village. She thought it was odd that the leader of the Grasslands had known who she was on sight and had spoken of her so oddly. Gift, she had called her a gift. Masou had been the one to tell her when she had confided in him about meeting with the other clan leader. She would not tell Lexa of this, as she had promised Masou. Lexa had threatened his life to keep the bounty on her head a secret.

"You're still trying to protect me." Clarke said when Lexa remained silent. If there was any weakness in Lexa's heart, Clarke was beginning to think that it just might be her.

"It's the least I can do."

"You don't have to. Leave the past, Lexa," she implored. "It won't do either of us any good to think about what could have been different." Clarke paused thinking of her next words. "We've already done that enough, haven't we?"

"I want to protect you." The confession did not surprise her so much as settle beneath her chest in a calm soothing wave.

"Then let's protect each other. Stay with me through this, Lexa." Clarke reached for her hand under the fur-lined blanket and Lexa entwined their fingers.

"Always," her answering voice was soft and deep.

* * *

"Tell me why I needed to change before we arrived?" Clarke grumbled in a sour mood. She was careful to make sure Lexa was out of range as she was the one suggested they stop in the first place before reaching Polis.

Amelia shook her head somewhat exasperated with the young woman. They were a matter of minutes away from the Capitol and a few hours ago their party had stopped to rest and refresh. They were all tired and anxious to be within safe walls and no longer out in the open awaiting an attack from the Ice Queen.

" _Skai Prisa,"_ Amelia began patiently. _"Polis is the largest city along the eastern coast. It is Heda's wish that you appear formidable to uphold the vision you have created for yourself."_

" _And what vision is that exactly?"_ Clarke asked actually curious.

" _An exemplary leader and formidable ally"_ Jonah added.

Clarke turned on her horse to see Jonah behind her and nodded. "Sure, that sounds good to me. I'll take that." She shrugged. Truthfully, she did not mind changing clothes. She enjoyed wearing her vibrant blue cloak and short dress complete with practical tan hide pants. Although, her hair felt a bit like a nest a bird might want.

"I can't wait to get clean," she sighed reminiscing of the hot summer sun and swimming in the ocean. _"I miss the sun and when it was warm enough to swim."_ It was back to rags and rough cloths in basins of water.

" _How did you wash in_ space _?"_ Rebekah asked from her right. Coltrane walked besides her horse.

"It was like a very hot steam. We didn't have enough water, or air for that matter, but we were allowed two steam showers a week for five to ten minutes. You feel clean enough I suppose, but it's hot and you feel like you're surrounded by a cloud of steam." Clarke explained. "It was possible to have an actual shower or bath, but those were privileges few of us could afford."

" _But you did."_ Rebekah stated picking up the underlying tone.

" _I was among one of the privileged on the Ark."_ Rebekah's eyes lit up and a smug smile appeared on her face. "It wasn't necessarily a good thing," Clarke added softly remembering the difficulties when they had landed on earth without the authorities to uphold the class system. "I read on the old world there were hot springs where natural gases heated pools of water. I've always wondered if they still existed." If the earth was inhabitable, hot pools of lava were low on her priorities. Long ago she dreamt of a world that was alive and flourishing, very much how it was in its current state. Some of her dreams had come true at the very least.

Jacob stirred in front of her with a laugh and Clarke smiled breathing in the air slightly damp from the rain earlier this morning.

It was a good different, mostly.

" _These places exist in the Fire Mountains,"_ Lexa informed.

Heda was wearing a customary black outfit with a red colored fabric attaching at her top breastplate and originating under and around the back of her left shoulder. Due to the attack on Masou's clan and the hostile greeting from the Grassland Clan, a visit to the Fire Mountain Clan would not be in the near future. Lexa had a strong relationship with the Fire Mountain Clan, more so than the Marsh People, who were content to stay out of conflicts unless called to fight. The Fire Mountain Clan comprised of warriors and were often know to be thirsty for blood similar to the Desert Clan but very different than the Wood Clan who were warriors that sought justice and blood only if slighted against.

Word would be sent to the clans' leader of their reason for not attending their customary visit. They would understand the danger of travelling farther away from safety, even if they could provide protection it was an unnecessary risk. Travel would have taken at least another week just one way.

"One day we will visit."

Clarke smiled at her. "I'd like that."

The trees began to clear and a horn sounded. Her horse startled imperceptivity, but continued on. "What was…" the words caught in her throat as she saw the looming stonewalls stretching far beyond her imagination. The walls were made of dirt cladded stone and she craned her neck to see the end of the wall wondering how tall they actually were. The horn sounded again and they continued on. People were a top the walls, and Clarke now understood why this was the capitol. Its walls were grand and civilized and sturdy enough to withhold any attack. There was even a large tower off in the distance where a bright torch held a fiercely blazing flame.

"I'm really glad I changed clothes." She mumbled awe struck.

" _Indeed,"_ Amelia taunted to which Clarke rolled her eyes.

" _I'm assuming we're being welcomed."_

" _They are expecting us,"_ Lexa said. _"We have arrived early. Sound the reply."_ She turned to Alec and ordered. The warrior retrieved a moderate sized horn from his saddlebag and produced one long bellow followed by two shorter ones. Two short blares answered.

The walls appeared to grow larger the closer they travelled. With a large echoing creak the doors began to spill sand and dirt as they opened slowly enough to let them pass. Immediately, as the last of their party entered, the double doors were closed with a resounding thump. Feeling effectively trapped, Clarke turned back around only to stare wide eyed at the large numerous buildings erected on hills that seemed to go on forever. Leston was a large city, home to nearly 20,000 souls, but its population was spread out over a vast land. Here, in the city of Polis the land was numerous, but the population more condensed with homes built on top of one another. It appeared as if the city were the very height of architecture and culture for what she had seen thus far. No wonder it was the Capitol.

Banner's bearing a golden spear with spikes resembling the symbol Lexa often wore on her forehead appeared on either side of them. There was also another banner with three nuclear symbols representing the Trikru that were among the Heda's symbol. The streets were crowded and venders selling numerous articles stopped to stare at them. Many began to cheer and call out to Lexa, others bowed. To Clarke's astonishment, her name was also chanted. It was as if she was in a dream or some form of medieval fairytale and she really was a real life princess in a far away land.

" _Heda!"_

" _Skai Prisa!"_

"Heda has returned!"

" _Hail Heda!"_

" _Heda has brought us the Slayer of the Mountain!"_

It was a good thing Clarke had been used to the many titles and praise sent her way when she had first arrived in Leston. There was a strong sense of gratitude and she was reminded that she had decimated the Trigedakru's greatest enemy; enemies that they had lived in fear from for over 97 years and had captured, tortured, killed and turned their people into monsters.

 _I've killed so many people._

She thought her name must have been mixed in there as well. Lexa's face remained impassive, although she did nod on occasion respectfully. Clarke was unsure what to do and tried her best to emulate Lexa, but she was not as capable of remaining impassive and uninterested when such wonders were being made apparent to her. She smiled at a few people and waved at a toddler in her fathers arms. Another braver man, held his son higher towards her.

"Bless my son with fire Skai Prisa!"

She had no clue what to do as the crowds of people descended upon them until Jonah intercepted the man with his son. Their guards formed a small barrier allowing them to pass with more ease within the crowd. Other warriors obviously stationed as Polis' private guards helped ease the crowd back. They travelled through the town in various curves on uphill and side hills from dirt to cobblestone paths.

The homes were stone and some designed elaborately and others more simple in structure but all fairly well upheld and sound in structure. Most of the buildings were of at least two stories averaging on three to four floors in height. Heads poked out of the windows watching them as they passed. Others waved scarves or tokens in their passing. Clarke felt as if she were in a parade, and on the main float. Or possibly a famous athlete being cheered by adoring fans. Old earth had celebrated their athletes. Of course, not all were joyful. Some in the crowd were serious and showed deep respect, others were fearful and a few possessed such animosity that Clarke wondered if she would still need to sleep with weapons at her side or at the very least under her pillow.

At the center of the capital was its heart, the mansion, as that was the only word befitting in Clarke's eyes. The building stood tall and proud with banners for each clan waving patriotically in the breeze. They arrived at a gaited entrance where the guards guided them through and closed the gaits behind them. It served to effectively separate them from the public. The mansion looked to be two stories and fairly long. A man came up to her to steady her horse and took hold of the bridle before helping her dismount.

"Welcome, Klark, to the Capitol."

Lexa said with her hand on her sword standing in front of the place where she spent most of her time when not in battle. Clarke licked her lips at a loss for words suddenly excited and utterly terrified.

* * *

There were no sounds, everything was utterly silent for the time being and it had been for hours. Even still, she could not sleep. Clarke opened her eyes with a sigh bringing her hands into her hair. The room was more than nice and the bed unbelievably comfortable, it was probably the most comfortable place she had ever slept. It was foreign and luxurious. It made her laugh thinking how the grounders had such posh accommodations. No one from the Ark would believe her unless they saw it. The Arkers considered the Grounders savage and vice versa. How wrong both parties were.

The bed was warm but far too big. The room was empty save for her, the intricately carved bureaus and Jacob. He slept next to her completely oblivious to the world nestled within the covers. She traced a finger along his forehead breathing in the strange scents of the blankets and upset that she could not sleep and enjoy such comfort that had been denied to her for most of her life. If anyone deserved a little peace and quiet, she certainly did. She closed her eyes automatically guilt ridden for thinking herself so entitled. The people that deserved the comfort of a warm bed and food in their bellies were all dead.

Clarke really wanted to sleep. It would do no good to wake up in the morning facing Lexa's counsel and the people of Polis with a sleep addled brain. Polis seemed like a large metropolis compared to what she was used to experiencing on the ground. She missed feeling the heat of another body next to hers, specifically Lexa's. And she wanted to know that Lexa was safe. It was a nagging constant feeling and Clarke relied on her instincts and followed them when all rational thought left her.

Finally giving in, Clarke gently scooped her arms under Jacob. He stirred but settled into her arms. She wrapped a large cloak around the both of them and set her feet laden in thick woolen socks on the cold wooden floors. It was brisk outside the safe confines of her room, and she almost wished she had taken up the matron about a fire for the room. Jacob squirmed making a noise and she rocked him gently.

The door opened with a creek and she found an unknown male guard posted outside of her door. She licked her lips feeling uneasy but knew she would get lost sooner rather than later. To her surprise he spoke before she did.

"May I be of service to you Skai Prisa?" his voice seemed loud in the late evening and his English was heavily accented.

She opted for bluntness. "Where is Lexa's room?" To his credit he hardly blinked at her informal referral to his leader and sovereign. He spared her a glance and then turned guiding her through the hallways and around corners. She tried to catalogue the turns to perhaps make her way back only to realize her brain was processing a lot slower due to fatigue. They soon came upon a single hall with two large double doors and a female and male guard standing on either side.

They eyed one another in some form of communication before the female knocked twice and entered the rooms. For a few beats Clarke stood awkwardly with the two men bouncing Jacob in her arms. She rolled her eyes inwardly wondering at her ability to create uncomfortable situations. A moment later the female opened the door glanced at both of the men and stepped back allowing Clarke entry. Her words of thanks rolled off their shoulders meaninglessly. The doors closed behind her and she was greeted to a room larger than hers decorated in maps, paintings of scenery and obscure weaponry. A painting of a large waterfall caught her eyes and she stood transfixed admiring the colors in the low light provided by a few well-placed lanterns. That was another perk of Polis, they had electricity and plumbing.

"It was a gift from Luna," Lexa's voice sounded behind her.

Clarke nodded glancing at her absently and her gaze quickly returned to the painting realizing Lexa was practically naked next to her in a thin tank top and shorts. The air was cold and her nipples were puckered with dark areolas visible in the low light.

"She has good taste," Clarke replied biting her lower lip.

"She does," Lexa agreed standing just behind her. Clarke could feel the warmth of her skin and her shoulders tensed. "You are embarrassed." Clarke detected a hint of amusement in her tone as well as curiosity.

"I'm still trying to get past years of ingrained modesty." She admitted with an upturn of her lips meeting Lexa's eyes and purposely keeping them on her face.

"Yet you are the one who has come to my chambers in the dark of night." Her eyes were bright but serious with slightly dilated pupils. Clarke almost wanted to call the warrior out on obviously giving her safeguards aforementioned instructions to allow her entry. Lexa took pity on the Skai girl the longer she remained silent. "What can I do for you Klark?" She asked turning away from her and pouring herself a glass of water.

Clarke turned her eyes upwards briefly asking for strength. Honesty, she reflected was what they were trying to work on. "I can't sleep." Honesty and trust was something her parents had failed at, however much they had loved one another.

Lexa simply stared at her and understood her silent struggle. "One of your sentries, perhaps Amelia-"

"No," Clarke interrupted. "They deserve the rest. What am I supposed to say anyway? Ask them to sing me to sleep?" she joked self depreciatively. She was not ten. She could not resort to missing her mother when she herself was one now.

Lexa walked closer until she was directly in front of Clarke. Maintaining eye contact Lexa took the collar of Clarke's blanket and unrobed both mother and child. She folded the blanket and set it on a nearby table. Next, she reached out with steady hands and transferred Jacob's sleeping form to lie against her chest. She turned and walked into an adjoining room with a large bed fairly low to the ground. Lexa laid Jacob safely on the bed and his eyes fluttered open.

Clarke watched her in bemusement as she gathered soft blankets and made a secure padding on the large bed and placed the child inside of it.

"I will have a cot sent for tomorrow."

"Ya, okay," the words barely made it past her lips. She felt dazed as in a fog watching the scene unfold.

"Come to bed Klark, it is late. We have much to do in the morning."

When Lexa stood and beckoned her near Clarke felt the blood rush to her face and between her legs. A pleasant flush enveloped her entire body and she shook her somewhat befuddled brain.

"You want me to stay here?" She had not intended to come here in the middle of the night and have a sleep over. Or was that exactly what she had intended? The simple questions never used to give her any problems until landing on earth. When she found out Finn was with Raven she backed off and gave them space until Raven had decided to end it. Charlotte killed Wells, but she could not kill a child in retribution because Wells would not want that. Irradiate level five filled with innocent women, men and children…mothers and fathers…

"Klark," Lexa said softly.

Clarke blinked finding the woman standing in front of her close enough to touch. She had not lost herself in the past or any form of hallucination in a long time. They were better, she was better, but she seriously doubted the memories would ever completely fade with time. Something of that magnitude should never be forgotten. It was why each life was scarred into her back. Soon they would be made into tattoos for a more conventional touch for someone of her place in the world.

The hallucinations came frequently when she was alone in the woods. It had happened before Coltrane found her wandering aimlessly. Usually she was alone when they occurred now, and it was late. Perhaps that was why she was in Lexa's room in the dead of night. She did not want to face the nightmares and visions alone any more. She could if she had to, but Clarke was not alone anymore. She could see it in Lexa's unwavering gaze as they travelled together, when she looked after Jacob without permission. There was something there and it seemed as if Lexa knew and was waiting on her. Clarke did not know what the other woman expected or wanted and she did not know herself. The war needed to end before it could truly begin, this she knew. It seemed like another excuse for Clarke to put her own needs on hold. She was a master at self-denial.

"Where have you gone?" the warriors calm voice sent soothing waves through her body and her skin tingled with ache longing for any form of contact. In these moments she longed for her friends and her parents. Wells was her best friend for a reason. He was loyal, fun, innovative and one of the best huggers in the world. But Finn had been as well, and Bellamy, and her father…

"Sometimes I don't sleep." She admitted all at once looking into Lexa's eyes. "I see things," she said slowly waiting for a reaction. Lexa stayed silent so Clarke continued. "Sometimes they come when I'm sleeping, other times when I'm awake." She licked her lips glancing at Jacob and back to Lexa. "Sometimes I see Finn." Lexa merely nodded knowing whom she was speaking of. She had ordered the boys death. "Before I came to Leston, I started seeing him everyday. He travelled with me, and it helped even though I knew I was going a little crazy." More than a little crazy she thought.

"You have been through a lot," Lexa responded.

Clarke titled her head with her eyes scrutinizing the other womans words and actions. "I've been through a lot, that's it?"

"What else would you have me say? There are no further words needed. You are healing, we all are. We cannot be untouched by the horrors we live through." Lexa paused taking a breath her face utterly somber. "I have also seen loved ones long passed." Clarke's eyes widened noting how Lexa did not have to say it was Costia, but knew all too well that is was. A life with Costia had been brutally taken from her and Clarke empathized. Finn's death was tragic, but necessary. He wanted death. Finn had thanked her for killing him. He had thanked her not just for saving him the slow agonizing death that awaited him, as was the Trigedakru's tradition, but also for the peace that death offered. He suffered before she sent the blade into his body and part of that was her doing. He had been looking for her.

 _Thanks, Princess._

Apologizing for Lexa's suffering seemed insufficient. Instead, Clarke followed her instincts and watching Lexa the entire time, she leaned in close and pressed a kiss, much as she had favored Bellamy with, to the warrior's right cheek. Lexa's body thrummed with sheathed energy, but she did not respond, fearing she would scare Clarke away. Progress and healing came in many different forms. Clarke had told her long ago that she was not ready, and through all that had happened between and outside of them, appropriate time for healing was needed. Hopefully, once Queen Nia died by their sword the time to develop something more would present itself.

"I'm tired," Clarke moved towards the bed after a pause attempting to appear unaffected by the kiss and nonchalant about sleeping in Lexa's personal bedchambers.

Lexa turned slightly to watch Clarke pull back the thick blankets necessary for the winter. It was an appealing sight, one she wanted to see over and over again. Lexa followed suite, entering on the opposite side. It was a large bed, a luxury she had enjoyed years ago with her lover. It was surreal to think another was joining her after so many years alone. Other lovers had never seen her personal chamber. Sex was an acceptable outlet for the stress that came with ruling over twelve clans, but intimacy; passion and trust were so much more precious and often unaffordable to someone in her position.

Over half of the bed was cold and the three occupants warmed the small section they occupied with their body heat. A few feet of space remained between Lexa and Clarke as they lay facing one another in the shadows. In a few hours the sun would rise and they would remember the problems still needing to be addressed and conquered, but for now they were two women sharing in the stillness and peace that company can only bring between kindred spirits.

"Night," Clarke said her eyes fluttering closed with a relieved sigh.

"Rest well, Klark." Lexa watched her face ease in sleep until she became engrossed in a rare moment of tranquility.

* * *

"This is ridiculous, you can't just keep us from coming in!"

"It's for your protection. And it's not you it's _them_."

Bellamy's ears perked immediately at hearing the anger in his sister's voice. He ceased his conversation with one of the guards and laid a hand on his firearm. He was officially a high-ranking security officer and having a spitfire of a sister made his job more than challenging, especially with the company she kept. The Grounders were less than welcome in camp and fewer made it past the gates each day even with an escort.

"They're the ones who made sure we'd survive the winter!" Octavia growled at the soldier posted at the gate with Echo and Lincoln at her side and Indra standing impatiently at her left.

"Is there a problem here?" Bellamy asked calmly walking up to them.

"Yes," Octavia growled into the officer's face. Bellamy had to give him credit for standing his ground with Octavia threatening his personal space. She was practically a Grounder to the rest of Camp Jaha. Save for being his sister and one of the original 100 sent to the ground she had few friends among their people. "This idiot won't let us in."

Bellamy waved his sister off gently trying to calm her. "I'm sure he has a reason." Bellamy directed at the solider with a pressing expression.

The soldier's eyes tensed but he did not falter. "Council member Pike-" Octavia waved her hand in the air rolling her eyes.

"I'll speak with him directly," Bellamy promised and attempted to usher his sister and the others inside. He shared a significant glance with Echo who was calm as usual. Her eyes watched him calculating his moves as they always did. He did his best not to pay her attention lest the guard think he cared about his sisters company.

"Sir, the order came directly from him."

"What order exactly?" Bellamy asked in a hushed voice.

"The gates have been closed to all Grounders."

"You can't do that." Lincoln said taking a step forward. Bellamy admired the Grounder and had entrusted his sisters life with him on more than one occasion. They had an unconventional relationship that was founded on the love they held for one wild and passionate Octavia Blake.

The soldier raised his gun. "I can."

Indra started by drawing her blade and Echo was not too far behind. The small woman was strong and he had spent many days training with her learning some of her clans' unconventional and harsh ways.

"Hey now, let's all just calm down." Bellamy said in a rush trying to block his sister from view.

"This is not how you treat allies." Indra spoke softly but with a swift reprimand. The soldier eyed her with mistrust. "You will want us when the enemy is at your gate ready to slit your throats. When that time comes, if Heda so much as glances at you, you will have been blessed."

Indra sheathed her weapon and called to Echo. _"Indra, where are you going?"_ Octavia grabbed Indra's upper arm halting her retreat.

Indra looked at the Sky girl who had come to mean so much to her. Octavia was strong and willful, but woefully uniformed. _"This squabble between your people will end eventually. Until then, my people are needed elsewhere. I've been called back to the Capitol."_

" _Polis? But why?"_ Her eyes were curious.

Indra looked meaningfully into her eyes and spoke quietly to her alone. _"We are expecting an important guest to be inducted into the clans ranks as leader."_

Octavia's eyes furrowed and remembered a conversation long ago about Clarke's very much living status and that she had taken up residence with the Boat People. _"Skai Prisa?"_ she whispered in astonishment using the title that less knew of among her people in case they were overheard. _"Are you sure?"_

" _Our people recognize her as a great warrior. She will help align what is left of the clans and hopefully your people when war is upon us."_ Indra lowered her voice further. _"The threat is real Octavia Blake. Do not trust anyone especially your own people. They show alliance with the Hand. This is only the beginning. No one is safe."_

Indra turned tail and with her head raised high left the gates leading into Camp Jaha.

Bellamy watched Indra leave with a worrisome feeling in the pit of his stomach that he was being left alone in a den full of wolves. "Don't worry," Echo said softly with a rare hint of a smile in her eyes for him and only him. "I'll be around if you need me Sky man."

Bellamy watched their retreat with dismay. Octavia and Lincoln wasted no time entering the camp but Lincoln was stopped once more with the soldier shoving a gun in his face. Octavia reacted immediately shoving the gun away from Lincoln and pushing the soldier back. Another came rushing up to hold back Octavia and Lincoln reacted instinctively to the threat and decked the man trying to contain her straight to the floor.

Bellamy entered the small fray trying to separate the two aggravated parties. "This is bullshit!" Octavia yelled. "He's with me!"

A round of gunfire sounded in the air and they all froze. "Someone explain to me what the hell is going on?" A deadly calm voice broke the silence and the gunfire echoed in the air. Bellamy turned internally wishing it were someone other than Pike.

The original soldier who tried to prevent the Grounders' entrance into Camp Jaha was the first one to speak. "Sir, Grounders were trying to enter the premises."

Octavia cursed loudly in Trigedasleng. "We live here!" she exclaimed in English.

Pike hefted his weapon to the other hand and stepped closer scrutinizing Lincoln. "He is one of _them_."

"He's with _me_ ," Octavia said sternly stepping in front of her lover.

"Don't worry Octavia. It's okay." Lincoln said keeping his gaze on the dark eyes of the newest council member.

Octavia continued to protest until Pike interrupted her. "We've closed off our boundaries for now." It was deceiving as his ideals on closing off the entire camp were well known and frequently disputed amongst the people.

"Which is stupid," Octavia said bluntly ignoring the hand shooting out from her brother and brushing him off. "Lincoln's been living here since Mount Weather. He was given full pardon by the Chancellor, or are you above her now as well?" Octavia taunted shrugging off the soldier still attempting to restrain her.

Pike moved closer and they stared at one another for a long moment. "You're lucky you have a brother so willing to look out for you." Octavia's eyes narrowed. "Let them in for now. The next time your boyfriend leaves this camp, he won't be let in again."

"We'll see about that." She groused knocking into his shoulder as Lincoln and her passed. Bellamy nodded to Lincoln as he left sighing in relief. That was pretty tame for his sister.

Pike ordered the soldiers to return to their posts and approached Bellamy. "We need to talk about your sister," he said in low tones.

"What about my sister?" Bellamy answered barely concealing the rage and challenge in his voice.

An eyebrow rose. "About the company she's keeping. I'm trying to help you out here kid. Make sure you don't make a mistake."

"Help me out?" Bellamy ridiculed. "How does threatening my sister help me out exactly?"

"I'd be more careful if I were you. Whose side are you on? There's or ours." He paused peering at Bellamy in challenge. "Think about it." He turned and left signaling to a few other guards. A few people remained staring and he knew the whispers were about his family and the Grounders.

"I'd be careful with him." Bellamy turned at the voice and figure appearing behind him.

Bellamy sighed seeing the familiar face of Kane. "He's just trying to protect us."

"From what exactly?" Kane stepped closer to the young man hands in his pockets.

Bellamy looked at him tired and somewhat confused. "There's a threat outside these walls."

"The threats inside the walls. Or don't you see it?" Kane pressed.

"I don't know what I see anymore." Bellamy's voice was timid compared to his usual confidence that Kane had come to rely on. He was a good man trying to find the best way to keep everyone alive. Abby appreciated him for his resolve and for the connection to her daughter. "No matter what I do, everything seems to fall apart."

"You were trying to protect everyone." Kane reminded him taking a step closer trying to imbue strength of will. It was a recurrent conversation between them. Bellamy blamed himself for the death of so many.

"But I didn't. Clarke did. She's the one we need." He said firmly. "I tried, and I, we need her."

"Clarke is gone."

"I don't think so." Kane stared at him questionably. "She's a fighter. I know she's still out there. That and I'm picking up a bit of Grounder." He smiled ruefully thinking of Lincoln and Echo. "I've heard talk that she's not only alive, but Indra said something about leaving for Polis to Octavia and I think that's where Clarke is."

"Let's hope she comes back." They nodded to one another both fearful for when that day came and praying that it came sooner rather than later.

* * *

I'm driving myself insane trying to re-watch the season three trailers and figure out the plot so when it comes out this story isn't too far fetched. I've decided that I'm not the writers and screw it. This is going to be AU in a matter of weeks anyway. Please don't hate me if I screw up the flags of the Grounder clans or some of our beloved characters agendas. Please continue to read and review. I appreciate and adore everyone of you!


	16. Chapter 16

This is a long update. You're welcome. Please enjoy!

* * *

Her toes curled in soft blankets and she stretched her arms overhead. Her vertebrae articulated and Clarke sighed curling back into a contented ball. She curled her hands under her pillow and basked in the quiet. The unusual silence caused her eyes to blink open. Sunlight streamed into the room and while it appeared early, it was later than she usually rose in the mornings. On most mornings Jacob would let her know he was awake and needed to be changed or fed.

Lexa was absent from bed as well. Slightly perturbed, she sat up looking to her left noting the absence of her son in his makeshift bed. She took a calming breath registering that Lexa had been taking more initiative with him. Clarke did not understand her motives but she was not adverse to a little help now and then. This did not mean she was okay with waking up alone with her son missing. Motherhood was daunting and exhausting. There were times she felt guilty about the way she had treated her own mother.

Clarke moved the covers aside trying to remain calm. There were guards posted outside the door and she reminded herself that the building was secure and probably one of the safest metropolises in the world. Her hair was slightly tangled, and she did her best to comb it with her fingers and even out the mussed braids. She looked around the room and spotted one of Lexa's long dark jackets. She shrugged into the sleeves and fastened the belt buckles. Her hands smoothed the garment down her front. She discovered a pair of slip on shoes that were a little narrow for her feet, but worked well enough.

The door opened smoothly and she was met with Amelia and her husband Jonah on either side of the door. Awkwardly, feeling like she was making some form of walk of shame, she closed the door behind her.

" _Heya,"_ she cleared her throat. _"Good morning."_

The pair looked to one another in silent communication only achieved between intimate couples. _"Good morning Klark,"_ Amelia nodded. Jonah smiled crookedly making Clark a little nervous and self-conscious. She ignored him.

"Do you know where Jacob and Lexa are?" Clarke asked with more calm than she felt. If they were outside of her door, it was more than likely Jacob was with one of her guards.

" _He is with Heda and Rebekah. We were waiting for you to rise. We thought you could use the rest,"_ she added bluntly.

Clark raised an eyebrow and then sighed looking upwards briefly counting to ten in English and then in Trigedasleng. She opened her eyes feeling calmer. Was she really that transparent or did they think her incapable? She appreciated the kindness but was not in the state of mind to accept it.

"Next time, wake me. My son does not go anywhere without my consent, understood?" They nodded gravely appropriately chastised. "Do I need to change?" she asked in a lighter tone as they started down the winding hall.

" _Heda requested you come as you wish and not to cause you any discomfort."_ There was a note of humor in Jonah's voice and his eyes smiled at Amelia. Clarke suspected some form of joke or previous discussion on their part but was too tired to inquire further.

They entered the dining hall that Clarke had seen briefly the previous day. The last meal she had eaten had been in a kitchen with Jacob sitting atop a counter making a jovial mess while a woman had been trying to clean up after them while at the same time supplying her son with more food for ammunition.

Clarke's steps stalled as she saw the sunlight drifting in the side windows. Most of both Lexa and Clarke's entourage were stationed around the room while Rebekah was sitting at a rectangular table with Lexa at the head. Her back was to the entrance, and Clarke thought she must be very comfortable here to leave her back so unguarded. She spotted Jacob almost immediately sitting besides Lexa's chair. Rebekah and her aunt were conversing normally and one of Lexa's hands tangled in Jacob's hair as he pulled himself into standing using a combination of Lexa's chair and her leg. He teetered and her hand shot out in a well-maneuvered reflex and stabilized him while giving him an opportunity to right himself.

She must have made a noise, for Lexa's head turned and Rebekah smiled widely. Rebekah waved her over with a boisterous greeting reminiscent of earlier days in Leston. A few of Lexa's guards expressed clear disapproval on their faces at the young girls informal greeting but said nothing against it. They knew her relationship with the young woman was family more than subordinate.

" _Good morning,"_ she responded with a soft smile that turned wide when reaching Jacob. She grabbed him abruptly and began planting boisterous kisses on his face as he laughed. She sobered and nodded a greeting to Lexa who responded in kind. She was proud that the exchange was neither awkward nor forced.

" _I didn't mean to sleep so late,"_ she apologized.

" _It is better you rest while you can. We will have much to do in the coming days."_

Clarke noticed Lexa eyeing her choice of wardrobe. She stayed still under the scrutiny despite her embarrassment. _"I was in a hurry."_ She eyed a few of the others around the room and berated herself for not returning to her room for a change of clothes.

" _It suits you,"_ Lexa commented nonchalantly taking a drink from a goblet.

Lexa signaled for an attendant and Clarke was immediately supplied with a plate of food. The same man retrieved Lexa and Rebekah's finished plates. Clarke thanked him and he bowed before leaving. Clarke tucked into the food hardly tasting and simply trying to fill her grumbling stomach. Jacob was reaching for her plate and she bounced him on her knee keeping him occupied.

" _Mochof for keeping him busy."_ She thanked between mouthfuls. _"He's an early riser._ Next time, wake me." She said under her breath eyeing the warrior meaningfully. Lexa halted catching her eye and lowered hers slowly acknowledging the request.

" _Baby's always need something,"_ Rebekah groaned no doubt thinking of her younger siblings.

" _Did he eat yet?"_

The girl nodded and Clarke noted again how similar her appearance was to her aunts. _"We fed him this morning."_ Clarke pushed her empty plate away with a happy sigh.

A man entered the room and swiftly made his way to Lexa before bowing swiftly. He had short brown hair with one long side braid and hazel eyes. He appeared to be in his mid thirties, although age was difficult to discern on the ground. He lowered and spoke softly to Lexa before standing once more. Lexa nodded and turned back to Clarke as the muscular and finely dressed man waited patiently at Heda's side. Clarke could not determine if he was one of her warriors or under another employ.

"My private council meets in one hour. You may wish to change." She said with a small upturn of her lips raking her eyes down Clarke's figure.

Clarke ignored the comment and thought of the bath beckoning in her room. "I'll see you in an hour," she answered with a turn of her head.

Jonah came up behind her and reached for Jacob. "I will watch him for you Prisa."

A warm bed free of nightmares, food in her belly, a bath, and her son being cared for was too good to be true. Polis was agreeing with her.

* * *

The bath was heaven. The tub sat alone at the corner of a room. Amelia turned the nozzle and rustic pipes banged and clanged before water spouted. It was cold at first but quickly turned hot before a quarter of the tub could be filled. Amelia pointed out various soaps and lotions that were foreign to her. Clarke listened all the while trying to contain her glee.

"This is so different from Leston." Clarke commented. "Why don't other clans have this system set up?" Such simple and hygienic technology would make a big difference for everyday life and prevent illness and disease.

"A few do," Amelia said laying out clothes on a bench and turning a few electrical lanterns on. Clarke caught the underlying message. The Azgeda had technology as well and Amelia knew this first hand. "But if too much knowledge is shared…"

"The Mountain Men might have retaliated." Amelia nodded. It made sense to Clarke considering the way the Trigedakru also had strict rules regarding the use of weapons. The Mountain men had prevented the Trigedakru from having basic comforts that had once been commonplace in the old world. There was so much potential.

Clarke shed her clothes, forgoing normal modesty and climbed into the large tub. "Oh my god," she exclaimed with a moan feeling the heat sink into her bones. "I love Leston, but this makes me never want to leave."

"I'm sure that is the intention." Clarke turned her head lazily. "They need you. The people…"

 _And Lexa_ , Clarke finished in her mind staring at the ceiling blankly. Was she a necessity or a luxury she wondered?

" _There is also the matter of meeting with my cousin while we are in the Capitol."_

Clarke nodded remembering the underground activities in Polis. She needed more people willing to listen and follow her in battle if things between her and Lexa went south. Not that she thought they would. It was better to explore her options and see what was out there.

" _When?"_ she asked simply.

" _After the meeting."_

" _What will we tell Lexa?"_

" _It is customary for leaders to have their kills tattooed."_ Amelia continued on. Clarke bit her lip feeling like she was being unfaithful. It was best to be prepared for anything and explore all avenues if able.

" _Rebekah will stay here with Jacob."_ Amelia agreed. Rebekah was simply too close to Lexa even if she was Clarke's second. The young girl was not going to be pleased about watching her son. She was fond of Jacob but she had two younger siblings that she had constantly looked after.

" _Leave me,"_ Clarke dismissed shortly after a minute of silence. She wanted a minute to herself to go over everything in her mind and prepare for a different kind of battle this afternoon. Sensing her need for solitude, Amelia nodded and left closing the door softly behind her.

Clarke listened to the steps until they stopped but knew that there were others nearby if needed. Most likely someone was posted outside of the door. It made her feel claustrophobic as well as safe. Her companions felt it necessary since they were outside of Leston. She knew this was partly Lexa's doing and concern from her own friends. It was difficult to consider them merely sentry when they had travelled long distances and their upmost concern was her well-being. Lord knew they were cognizant of her best and worst attributes and had time to dispel any false pretenses of this Skai Prisa persona that had been going around. Truth be told, she felt they adhered more to formality when others were around to make sure she was afforded the utmost respect. It did serve to remind her that she needed to remain strong in the eyes of the people. She was only human, but many of these people knew of her deeds and believed her to be more, perhaps another leader with a chosen spirit such as Lexa. She eyed the soaps and tested a few and found one that was less flowery and reminded her more of the sea and clean air. She lathered a washcloth and eyed the small sharp blade beckoning her. In no small feat Clarke rid herself of most of the downy blonde hair on her body enjoying the feel of smooth skin and also feeling awkward without it. The winter months called for heavy clothing and less skin.

She dressed in an outfit laid out for her by Amelia. It was long sleeved and a rustic green that reminded her of Lexa's eyes. Black pants, and sturdy calf boots accompanied the tailored blouse. It fit snuggly at the waist with long coats tails and a slit so she could walk easily. Most of her wardrobe consisted of mock dresses and she wondered what image Amelia was trying to portray. The clothes made her feel like royalty and she assumed they were trying to have her image coincide with her title. She wiggled her toes in the boots with a wry smile. She absolutely loved shoes. They helped so much for living on earth and she would have given a syringe of morphine to trade for a sturdy pair on the Ark to protect her feet from the harsh metal plating making up the floor.

She braided her hair last in a simpler fashion impatient for it to air dry. It could have been more elaborate but she was unwilling to be late. She gathered her clothes as well as Lexa's belongings intending to return them. After stepping out from the room she was met with Austin instead of Amelia.

" _Heya,"_ she smiled. He nodded taking in her appearance. _"Do you approve?"_ she teased. The large and usually silent man took her chin lightly in his equally large hand and turned her head to the side noting her braids. Clarke enjoyed the attention, as it was a gesture of affection that her guards rarely took with her when in public. Sometimes she wondered if they thought she was capable of dressing herself.

He let her go softly, done with his impromptu observation. _"I want to return these."_ Clarke said holding up the clothing in her arms.

" _Leave them, others will come to collect them."_ Amused at the order more than anything Clarke returned them to the washroom.

" _Lead on then,"_ she gestured down the hall with her arm. Austin merely raised an eyebrow and walked on while Clarke grinned behind him.

She was led to a new room. There was a large round table housing nine chairs and one larger one where Lexa took precedent. Rebekah was seated a few chairs over from her and the lone vacant spot was to Lexa's immediate left. Clarke walked over nodding to her second. Amelia stood against one of the walls and Austin joined her. Coltrane and Brie were stationed in a similar fashion. The same man who had whispered in Lexa's ear hours before stood directly behind her. Another man, older in appearance with a shaved head, was silent standing on her other side. Amelia confided that the younger man was a trusted counselor and the other was head of the Polis guard. She met the older mans gaze briefly and they studied one another.

" _Now that all are present, we have matters to attend to."_ An older man with a scarred face spoke. Lexa eyed him with disdain leaving Clarke to believe they had been waiting for her. She knew a few of the faces having been prepped by Amelia on their first day. Rebekah had been to Polis with her family before as well and knew of the council members. There were three women and five men, all at least middle age. She felt more than a little out of place amongst the formal audience but was determined not to let them intimidate her.

" _We will begin with the most pressing matter,"_ the same man said. She listened carefully as he was speaking very fast in Trigedasleng. She realized that while her Trigedasleng was passable most of her sentry spoke slowly in Trigedasleng around her with exaggerated clarity. This man was most likely the oldest one present with completely silver hair and an absent right eye. It took her a moment before she remembered the council members name was Nolan and head of one of the most influential families in Polis. Each member of the council held some importance to the city, whether it was in terms of wealth, agriculture or weaponry. Polis was a peaceful city, but it did value the men and women who gave their lives to protect its existence.

" _Queen Nia."_ A female with shorn black hair stated. Half of her head was shaved and the other was straight streaked with a few strands of grey hanging to her shoulder.

" _We must get rid of the threat before it becomes a problem."_ Nolan stated firmly one hand thumping the table. Lexa looked unimpressed.

" _We cannot retaliate if we have not been attacked,"_ countered a younger man with brown dreadlocks.

" _This threat has been present long enough Mikah. They should have been dealt with years ago."_ Lexa's face remained impassive despite the obvious jibe from the older man.

" _Have you forgotten the bloodshed before the Coalition? They would waste no time killing us all."_ Mikah growled at Nolan. The older man did not seem pleased at his words.

" _We have been attacked,"_ stated another slightly younger female with a single thick brown braid hanging down her back. _"Masou of the Marsh Clan was almost killed,"_ she reminded them all. There was silence around the table and Clarke found the woman interesting. _"He and his people have been loyal to the Coalition. They are one of the more peaceful clans. If they are in danger, we all are,"_ she said with finality.

" _What she says is truth,"_ Lexa declared with authority. _"The Azgeda have cast a shadow over us and have all but declared war."_ Voices interrupted all at once but Lexa's voice rose above them. _"But we cannot declare war without a vote among this council and the remaining clans."_

" _What proof do you have that Savannah and Simone have sided with the Azgeda?"_ Nolan disparaged.

" _My word is enough."_ Lexa threated with a glare. He eased back in his chair watching her. Lexa calmed and looked across the table. _"We must also indoctrinate the Skaikru. We will need their technology to defeat them."_ Clarke could feel Lexa's gaze purposely avoiding her.

" _This is why we have Skaikru in our city? Bringing her here is to kill us all."_ Nolan waved a hand in her direction and Clarke gripped Lexa's thigh tightly beneath the table to restrain her.

" _Shof op!"_ Mikah exploded in anger and intense fear looking to Clarke. She blinked at the sudden attention. _"You speak in the presence of one who commands death,"_ he hissed and all were silent.

" _If we have the blessing of Wanheda, the rest of the Skaikru will follow?"_ The female with the long braid questioned. _"They are a threat just as the Azgeda. For all we know they are helping them. They have access to the mountain and the ability to use its technology. With her permission, they need to be dealt with."_ She nodded to Clarke in deferment and her voice was respectful but blunt.

Clarke straightened in her seat defensive of the people she had grown up with and sacrificed so much for. _"My people would never do such a thing."_ Clarke protested and not a single person spoke. Reluctantly, a few looked at her and Clarke recognized trepidation in their eyes. They feared her. She was a symbol yes, but in Leston she was also beloved. Here, she was feared and respected.

" _Oh wouldn't they?"_ Nolan retaliated. Apparently not all of them respected her in Polis. _"We have been helping your people and their leader has been sympathetic to the Azgeda. How can we trust them? How can we trust you?"_

" _If you would answer, Wanheda it would honor us."_ The woman with the braid added civilly. Clarke's brows furrowed once more at the slang term.

" _I have earned my place among the Trigedakru,"_ she began slowly. _"I have slayed your enemies, and protected your people. You owe_ _ **me**_ _. How can I trust_ _ **you**_ _as a council when you question my motives after liberating you from a lifetime of torture and death from Mount Weather?"_ She made sure to meet the eyes of each of the council members. _"My people are your people. They are all my people."_ Clarke pasued with her chest heaving from contained raw emotion. _"I'd be more concerned with your loyalties if anything."_

Nolan stood immediately with the chair screeching behind him. _"I will not stand for this!"_ He pointed a finger at Clarke menacingly. Clarke stood as well not wanting to face the irate man sitting down. _"You may have Heda bewitched, but not all of us are besotted with your fire and glory."_

Mikah and the braided woman rose. The woman tossed her chair aside and pulled a long blade from her belt. _"You ask for death. I will give it to you old man!"_

" _Chil yo daun! Or I'll show you true death by fire."_ Clarke threatened the words barely making past her clenched teeth. They better fear her wrath. She had killed hundreds of people by melting their flesh and turning their bones to ash. She was not proud of it, but she did what was necessary and damned if she was not above using it to her advantage. Austin and Amelia moved with their weapons out as well suddenly flanking her and the older Trigedakru looked around him much less confident. He sat silently with his eyes narrowed. The braided female spat in his direction but sheathed her weapon and once more took her seat and Mikah followed suit.

" _Daun ste pleni,"_ Lexa said firmly standing from her chair. " _Jomp em op en yu jomp ai op._ _Her kills rival all the great leaders in our history._ _I would choose your words wisely."_ Nolan glanced at Clarke to Lexa and briefly around the room. No one rose to his aide and he sat disgruntled. Clarke resumed her seat as well still fuming and wanting to pull her knife and carve into his flesh. _"We will present a united front against the Azgeda with the Skaikru once Klark has spoken with them. For now we have the loyalty of eight of the twelve clans."_

" _What of the Nomads,"_ a bald man with a thick beard questioned.

" _They have agreed to stay out of the matter completely and not aid the Azgeda because of Klark. They will provide supplies but no soldiers if they are indoctrinated into the Coalition after the matter is resolved."_ Lexa stated turning to address him.

A few heads turned and others scoffed. Clarke looked at Lexa not having known this recent news. She remembered Lexa saying something similar before- that the Nomads would side with her because of Jacob. She felt conflicted using Jacob as leverage. He was her son, not a bargaining chip. Even still, allies whatever form they came in, were welcome. A few more words were exchanged and conversation changed to focus on Klark's assigned title of clan leader of the Skaikru. Supposedly, there was to be a ceremony.

They shuttled out of the room one by one and the woman with the partially shorn head stopped in front of her. _"I am Merida. It is an honor to meet you Klark kom Skaikru."_

Clarke glanced across the room at the older Trigedakru council member from earlier who had spoken out strongly against her. He sneered at her. _"Some would think not."_

" _Not all of us."_ She responded meaningfully. Clarke nodded as Merida left the room. The room was soon empty save for a few. Brie came up to her next as Lexa spoke with a few remaining council members.

" _You will want to mind your tongue with the council. Not all worship or fear you."_

Clarke sighed finally having enough of her attitude. _"Why exactly do you dislike me? Have I offended you in some way?"_ she asked quietly with a hint of irritation.

" _Heda shows great interest in you. Some would say you are undeserving of her regard."_ She began bluntly and Clarke found herself listening to her words carefully. _"Her previous lover made her weak…"_

" _Costia,"_ Clarke breathed and Brie nodded.

"… _and you-you will bring her death more swiftly than Queen Nia. Heda's spirit was chosen to lead, perhaps yours was as well. But underneath, you are only a woman. I do not dislike you Klark of the Sky People. I dislike what you are to Heda. You bring death and you will get her killed."_

Clarke gazed into the warrior's eyes catching Lexa's form across the room with her warriors and counselor now known to her as Tristan. _"I'm not going to hurt her."_ She said absently as Lexa caught her gaze for a brief eyes softened and Clarke resolved to protect her. The Commander was more vulnerable than anyone knew. _"And I'm not going to let her die. I swear it."_ She promised softly returning her gaze to Brie. _"And I don't plan on dying anytime soon."_

" _Good,"_ Brie nodded approvingly. _"Let us keep you alive and well Skai Prisa, for all of our sakes."_

* * *

The streets were comprised of cobblestone and free of grime. There were people everywhere. Most of them stopped and stared at her blatantly with disbelief etching their faces along with wonderment and fear. It was different then when she first came to Leston where they crowned her with flowers or stared at the new comer. She was nicely dressed and accompanied with armed guards consisting of Amelia, Austin and Rylan. If the armed guards were not a give away her blonde hair was also a rare occurrence. She imagined even more heads would turn if both her and Lexa were walking the streets.

True to form, Rebekah was not pleased about staying behind with Jacob, although she said nothing in protest; however, Clarke had seen her bite the inside of her cheek and nod stiffly. It helped that she was in the presence of seasoned warriors so she dared not oppose. Jonah, ever vigilant and understanding of others, volunteered to stay with her. Clarke appreciated the gesture, as she felt insecure leaving Rebekah alone and unprotected.

The buildings were amazing and Clarke wanted nothing more than to assuage her curiosity. Amelia hurried her along, not wanting her presence to cause too much commotion among the crowd. Her three companions did not stand out more than the average citizen although they carried weapons and the general population did not. She supposed they could pass for the average sentry roaming the city looking for disturbance and unrest. Amelia finally caught on that they were drawing too much attention and waved to Rylan who quickly covered Clarke's head with the hood of her warm cloak with an apology. She merely pulled it lower to hide her features better. It was not as if she was walking around the city without protection or permission. Polis was not her home as Leston, the Ark, or arguably Camp Jaha where her friends and family resided.

Amelia said something quickly to the others and Clarke turned her head to the side. "What?"

"Nothing," Amelia waved gesturing for them to continue on. They had an appointment with the most sought after tattoo artist in the city immediately following the meeting with Amelia's cousin.

"She said we should have died your hair. They recognize you too easily." Rylan joked tugging her hood over her head further.

"I didn't realize we were trying to be inconspicuous." She said under her breath glancing around.

"Perhaps red?" he suggested to Austin who remained stoic and took a look at her un-amused face and shook his head.

"Perhaps not," she countered with a firm nod to her companions with raised eyebrows.

" _Heda would not be pleased,"_ Austin whispered quietly to his husband who made a noise of amusement.

" _What was that?"_ Clarke said swiftly. They remained silent and she nodded. _"That's what I thought."_

" _Em pleni,"_ Amelia reprimanded the pair as Rylan hit Austin in the stomach lightly.

A small ball rolled in the street coming to hit her feet with a small tap. A few children were playing in a courtyard and one of them ran after the ball while the others yelled for her to hurry up. She stopped abruptly spotting Clarke lean down and pick up the small artifact. The others waited watching her curiously and Amelia sighed noting they would be later than anticipated. The Skai Prisa did as she pleased more often than naught. She was predictably unpredictable in certain aspects.

The girl was a few years younger than Rebekah. She approached Clarke cautiously wary of the stranger in the fine coat and hood. Clarke merely held the ball out not encroaching but allowing her to make up her mind in due time. The girl's dark hair was braided in two pigtails, or had been, but one of them was unraveling most likely due to the rough nature of the game. Her hand hesitated once before looking back towards her friends. In a sudden move the girl grasped the ball.

" _It's good to be cautious,"_ Clarke nodded in approval. The girl grinned displaying two missing front teeth while her chest puffed out. The girl eased and Clarke was able to reach out and gently tug on her loosened braid. With deft fingers she braided the hair in short work and pulled a tie from her own hair, releasing one of her small braids in the process. The girl twirled her hand around the finished braid admiring it and the small blue ribbon weaved through it.

" _We need to go,"_ Amelia said from behind her.

Clarke turned and nodded before dismissing the younger child. _"Your friends are calling for you."_

The girl turned and sure enough a cluster of children were playing and calling for her to rejoin the game. When she turned back Clarke and the others had already moved on.

They stopped at a side building partially hidden between two larger ones. The door was made of rusted iron and Amelia banged on it once with her fist. Clarke could not help but feel they should be having clandestine meetings in the dark out in the wild…in a hu….in an abandoned building…or something more dubious that she had read in stories as a child. She reminded herself that she was not the bad guy here. She was not doing anything wrong. Lexa was righting the wrong she had committed against her, not the other way around. Clarke wanted to protect her people, all of them, and she needed to know who the players were.

Lexa did not question her request to observe the city. She was assigned a guard and was reminded of before when Lexa had ordered guards to protect her. Lexa had matters to oversee regarding Polis. It was interesting to note how everyone viewed Lexa as having the ultimate position of power when she was a slave to the people. She could relate to the pressure and the eyes watching every move waiting for you to either screw up, save them, or fix everything in a single moment.

Amelia banged on the door once more and abruptly yelled startling Clarke. _"Let me in Rahul."_

Loud footsteps sounded on the other side and a large boisterous man opened the door with a grin. _"Cousin!"_ he exclaimed and Clarke's eyes widened in surprise. This underground meeting was turning out to be not as surreptitious as she imagined. Perhaps that was the point. Knowing Amelia she had planned it as thus. _"Come in come in!"_ The door closed behind them and they were enveloped in warmth. A roaring fire was burning at the hearth. The floor was lined with thick animal furs in brown and back stripes.

Amelia was smiling whilst being crushed by one of the largest men Clarke had ever seen. _"It has been too long since I have seen my own flesh and blood."_

Amelia clapped him on the shoulder once she was free of his grasp. _"It is good to see you as well, cousin."_ Clarke wondered exactly how close they were in relation. Perhaps there was a slight resemblance, but it was obviously farther back in the family tree. Cousins could mean third or fourth for all she knew. Coming from the Ark with the strict policies on childbirth made relatives and novelty. Amelia stepped aside unfastening her heavy cloak and laying it on a wooden table. Clarke pulled back her hood and freed her hands from thick gloves placing them in the pocket of her cloak. _"I would like to present the slayer of the Mountain."_

Rahul stepped past Amelia to stare at Clarke. _"Wanheda? Are you what all the fuss is about? Yer but a tiny thing!"_

" _Well, I've certainly been called worse. I'm Klark by the way."_ The introduction slipped easily from her tongue and the tension in her shoulders lessened.

Rahul threw his head back with a laugh before introducing himself. _"Pleasure to meet such a beauty. I'm Rahul."_

" _You don't seem…"_ Clarke paused trying to find the appropriate Trigedasleng phrasing as everyone looked at her. She decided on English. "What I mean to say is you're very friendly."

He laughed again and clapped Amelia on the shoulder. "I like this one." She relaxed with hearing his guttural English. He beckoned them closer and Clarke moved further into the home along with the others. They shed their layers, as the home was welcoming and warm. "What you mean to say," He spoke as he poured them drinks, "is that how can I be born from the Azgeda." Or of the Trigedakru, Clarke thought with an internal smirk. "Truth be told, it was my mothers mother who escaped from the city of Fall, proud residence of Queen Nia." Clarke took a sip of her drink noting the burn of whiskey. "Awful place, yer freeze your nuts off there. Not that yer have ter worry about that. " Clarke nearly choked on her drink.

"I'll cancel my plans to visit," she responded neutrally.

"Do that." They sat at a large table nursing their drinks and another man walked into the room and joined them. "This here is my right arm and brother in law, Louie." Clarke wondered where his wife or husband was. The home seemed devoid of another's presence.

"We have much to discuss Klark kom Skaikru." The man stated in place of a greeting. He remained standing and Clarke's previous feelings of comfort began to fade. His hari was dark and braids crowned his scalp as they met in the back and bound together to form a larger one. He stared at her with assessing brown eyes. _"What do you want?"_

"Excuse me?" she asked confused.

"You come from the Sky, wage war against our people, kill our greatest enemy, and now ban with Heda to destroy an age old threat from within." He leaned forward with his hands on the table. _"I'll ask you again Wanheda. What do you want?"_

The abrupt question caused her pause. It was a question that brought her back to the base of Mount Weather waiting to wage war. She watched the liquid amber swirl in her cup. What did she what?

 _Well, what do you want?_

 _Nothing. My people back._

The answer was nearly the same and yet so very different.

" _Nothing,"_ she said at long last. With Louie and Rahul's unwavering gaze she continued thinking how to voice her thoughts in more depth. "My people safe, all of them. A life for my son. Happiness, if it's afforded to me."

"That's a lot to ask for." Rahul commented taking a swig from his cup.

" _You have pretty dreams. Too pretty if you ask me."_ Louie said. He jawline was sharp and his short beard cut along the edges of it perfectly.

" _No one did,"_ Rylan added sharply in her defense.

"What they're doing, what Queen Nia is doing, is wrong." The starvation and repression of a people for nothing but the sake of control and absolute power was reprehensible. "I used to dream about Earth, a lot of us did." Her voice was strong and thick with emotion. "Living in space isn't glorious. We survived and sacrificed. Then we came here and did the same thing. And now, I'm surviving as one of you, but more than that I'm choosing to live." She sat back regarding them with conviction. "We can't keep living one day to the next hoping for something better. The Mountain Men are gone." She said with finality and was surprised when the statement did not cause her distress. It was a relief to speak of it with such candor. "They gave us excuses to live in fear."

"And now thanks to you, we're killing each other." Louie added.

"Most people thank me for killing them." She leaned forward meeting his aggressive posture. "That kind of truce, built from fear, can only lead to misery. " She rebutted.

"The Azgeda should never have been included in the Coalition." Clarke went silent at Rahul's declaration. "Heda left yer to fight the enemy alone, did she not?" She was completely silent. "And it was yer that destroyed them rather than bargain when Heda could not."

Clarke realized that there was sincerity behind his words and doubt with Lexa's capabilities. The accusation was clear. They believed that Lexa had grown weak.

"I did what I thought needed to be done and so did Heda." Clarke said slowly and with precision. "She was trying to save lives, we all were. Heda is strong, and she is the reason why the Coalition survives in the first place. You need her. I've agreed to work with her, because I believe she wants the best for her people, for all of us." Clarke paused her voice like steel. "I understand you aren't pleased, and perhaps a lot of people aren't. Every choice made requires sacrifice. Heda and I are doing this together until we aren't." There was finality in her voice and the two men stiffened with nothing else to contribute. Clarke no longer cared for their opinions.

They left soon after. It was a staunch operation after Louie and Amelia's cousin Rahul discovered she was supportive of working within the Coalition and not leading it. She never wanted to be a leader but she was slowly realizing her potential and she could not run any longer. If she was to lead, it had to start smaller, not leading a culture and people she had only just begun to understand. They were looking to stir up trouble. They wanted change, but they did not understand that doing so at such a time would bring disaster upon all of the clans. They wanted a life of freedom but it would only be possible under Lexa's reign. If they dethroned her, Queen Nia would be unstoppable.

Austin and Rylan walked ahead of Clarke and Amelia in the cold. Even Clarke's cloak could not keep the entirety of the chill away. Her nose was red and icy. It would snow tonight.

"You knew I wasn't going to betray Lexa. You used me to calm them." Clarke chose her words as thick fog encased them. Amelia remained taciturn. "It was very clever," she said with a nod of approval. "Who are you loyal to? Jonah will be cross if I have to kill you." Clarke reminded her. She meant every word. Amelia turned deferentially.

"I am loyal to you Klark, because I know you. I know what kind of warrior you are. You want peace, and you want the safety of those you care for at any cost. I am loyal to the people. You and Heda are what the people need. But without you, Heda will fail and the Azgeda will corrupt and bring pestilence."

The cobblestone clacked under her feet. The streets were still full and hectic.

"Why me?" It was a legitimate question. And she wanted to know why her support was needed other than her accomplishment of defeating the mountain.

"You humanize her." Clarke furrowed her brow. "Why do you think there are those who wish to remove Heda from power?"

"Because she chose not to fight at Mount Weather." Clarke answered swiftly. "It makes her appear weak. One of my friends, he's from the Trikru clan originally, told me something similar. Weakness is not tolerated."

Amelia frowned. "This is true, weakness is not, but cunning and intelligence is also a great feat. We value it, as much or more than the prowess of battle because many do not live to show such keen intellect. That is why Heda has survived and surpassed many others of her stature in length of reign."

"She's smart," Clark grinned in a moment of pride and remembered when she had told Lexa this same thing.

"Yes."

"Then why-?" she shook her head.

"She retrieved her people by making a deal with those that have caused us great suffering, it was betrayal."

"She saved them." She saved them under specific conditions and making a deal with the enemy. But Clarke had also been the enemy at one point.

"By striking a deal with an enemy that had committed unforgivable crimes against us," Amelia countered. "And then she betrayed you, left you at the gate of our most feared and hated enemy with no army to protect you, and you did the impossible. You did what Heda could not and the leaders of our people before her could not. You defeated the Mountain Klark. A feat worthy of not just the greatest warrior, but one with the grace of the gods." Clarke had no idea what to say. "That is why Heda needs you. If she does not have your support, this world will fall to ruins even before Queen Nia attacks. The Coalition is vulnerable."

Clarke looked at her feet feeling an enormous weight placed on her shoulders and fearful for Lexa at the same time. Thankfully, Clarke knew how to shoulder such massive responsibilities with countless lives hanging in the balance. Not that she liked having it this way. If she did not, who else was there? She had to at least try.

"Heda will die." Clarke stopped and caught Amelia's grim face. "The Azgeda do not take prisoners Klark, not without the promise of something worse than death. That is why they want you." Clarke knew the bounty was higher for her alive than dead and Queen Nia was interested in the technology of her people. Having her cooperation would be a great advantage. "If they have you, the clans will fold, some willingly, others not."

Clarke could not help but think of Masou and Luna. "Is the Coalition that fragile?"

"Every system of government is fragile Klark. We are only as strong as the people it holds together and the leaders that formed it."

Clarke's lips thinned at the implication but she was grateful for the wisdom. "The people are strong, and Lexa is even stronger." She said with finality. Clarke trusted Amelia to be candid, it was how their relationship worked, but she would not tolerate slights against the people she cared for.

"Heda is strong because you are strong." Amelia amended with a carefully veiled expression upon her face.

"We make each other strong," Clarke corrected to which Amelia accepted with a slow nod.

"You speak truth Skai Prisa. Now we must go and make your visit to the heart of the city worthwhile."

They had to have something to show for entering the heart of Polis.

* * *

They walked to a busy shop with paintings on the walls. There was laughter and the shrill sound reminiscent of a drill that made her cringe. Her eyes hardened and a fierce expression took over her face. She remembered the sound of the drill over the radio the first time she realized the Mountain Men were extracting bone marrow from her friends.

" _Skai Prisa?"_ Amelia's voice was apprehensive.

Clarke closed her eyes and took a large breath making the memory and the sounds fade into the background. She opened her eyes and the noises of the shop came full force. There were men and women, some fierce and sporting piercings and covered in dark ink from head to toe. She inhaled the smells and acknowledged her friends. "I'm fine."

A man with a large needle stopped his work on a robust man and handed his project off to another. He grabbed a towel and walked over sizing them up. His eyes stopped on her and Clarke noted the intensity of his gaze. He had thick peppered hair pulled up in a bun atop his head with a full beard. His hands were callused and worn and his arms were strong covered thickly in tattoos.

" _We are here for the services of the artist Bran_ ," Amelia stated while Clarke eyed the people in the shop taking notice.

The man before them nodded. _"I heard rumors that the slayer of the Mountain was in Polis. I see it is true. What do you need of me?"_

Amelia began to speak again but Clarke held up her hand. _"I want to honor the dead. I was told you could help me do that."_

He gestured to a seat and she began to take off her outer layers under watchful eyes. The men around her were intimidating and stared at her. She observed the bloodstains on the floor and the vibrating needles nearby grateful she was able to distinguish between the drills used for extracting bone marrow versus needles used for artistic purposes. Her sentries formed a small barrier shielding her partially from view though the eyes still followed her with interest. Brans hands were rough but soft as they brushed against her skin tracing the patterns of her scars.

" _Impressive."_ He commented simply. Voices erupted and people crowded trying to get a closer look. Austin shoved a man back roughly swearing at him in guttural Trigedasleng. " _Shof op!"_ Bran yelled at once and the crowd stilled. He pulled a curtain hiding her from view. She felt more at ease with fewer eyes upon her but no less naked.

" _Mochof."_ She felt the need to express gratitude but was careful not to show her discomfort. She refused to allow weakness in. Clarke was practically feral until Coltrane found her. It was not something she was proud of, let alone spoke of, but it was the truth. She was no one after Mount Weather and only became a person again after she settled in Leston.

" _You will need to be on your stomach with nothing covering your back,"_ Bran announced as he mixed paints in a jar his back to her.

They did not speak as she lied down on a table that was thinly covered with a sheet. Austin stayed nearby as he had an artistic eye, but the other two of her friends stood on the other side of the curtain no doubt scaring off the rest of the customers. She pillowed her head on her hands staring at the side desk and let him work. Oddly enough, she began to drift as she felt the cold sensation of the brush on her skin. She thought of the lives she had taken in vengeance, in regret, in fear, anger, sympathy, and because she had no other choice.

 _I'm doing the best I can._

 _Yu gonplei ste odon._

 _Thanks, Princess._

" _Skai Prisa, I have finished."_

Clarke turned her head with distant eyes seeing into the past. She had completely lost herself in memories. After he was finished, she stood covering her breasts with her hands. Bran moved out of the way so she could see the design on her back in a mirror on the wall. The spirals and outline of paints connected each life imbedded into her skin. It was an intricate design without being overbearing. There was a significant amount of creativity that told a story in a manner that only she could understand and it amazed her that he had depicted her journey so well. There was room for the rest of her story. It was idiotic to think there would be no more marks on her skin. Maybe that's why the warriors held so much pride in their scars. Their marks were not merely kills but also accounted for what they survived through. It was a victory to see another day in this life. Austin nodded in approval at the work on her back.

 _Jus drein, jus daun._

The sound of the tattoo gun startled her. Bran cocked his head and regarded her. _"Are you afraid?"_ He gestured to the needle. They stared at one another for a few moments. She was unable to tell if he was actually concerned, mocking her, or merely curious.

Clarke's eyes drifted to the tool housing the needle and ink. Such a small thing. The drill that collected her friends' bone marrow had also been small and harmless until in the wrong hands. Her hands dropped to her side and she stepped up to him staring him down despite being nearly a head shorter than him and half dressed. Her eyes were grave and her voice callous.

" _I've killed men, women and children for holding such an instrument unwillingly to my friends and family."_ She paused, _"No, I'm not afraid."_

He was silent and after a beat he lowered his eyes. _"Forgive me."_

She waved away his apology and resumed her position on the table trying to relax and ignore his words and ignorance. _"Just be done with it."_

She grit her teeth as the needle sounded loudly and embedded into the layers of her skin over and over again. Her muscle tensed out of her control but she remained unmoving biting her bottom lip and the insider of her cheek. It lasted for hours and did not stop until the memorial was stained upon her everlastingly.

* * *

Bran dabbed the spots of blood away from her skin as her friends revered the newly acquired artwork. She was exhausted after hours of remaining still. She wanted to stretch but dreaded the pain it would bring her.

" _It suits you,"_ Rylan's hand hovered over a section depicting the Trigedakru she had burned via the drop shot. _"I knew someone in this battle. He would be proud to know a great warrior honors him."_

"That was the point." Clarke held out her hand and Rylan grasped her forearm. _"Mochof."_

He released her as the tattoos were covered protectively with binding that wrapped around her chest. Amelia assisted him and the others looked away respectfully. In small ways her vanity had disappeared and so had her modesty. Bran went over directions on how to care for her tattoo as she healed, most of which was common sense to someone with a medical background, but she listened nonetheless.

Once the last of her dressing was in place the door to the shop screeched open and multiple soft footballs sounded. The background noises quieted and Clarke craned her head looking to see who had entered and caught the attention of the store. For a moment she thought it might be Lexa.

The light sheet separating her from the rest of the room illuminated four figures, the tallest in the center. Sturdy white and grey fur boots were visible on the wooden floors.

" _I am looking for the great warrior of the Sky People."_ A females voice rang out. Amelia and the others put a hand on their weapons suddenly tense. No one answered her at first. "I'll be more specific. I am looking for Klark kom Skaikru." Her English held an accent similar to Amelia and Clarke was automatically alert. A foreboding feeling pulled in the pit of her stomach.

Against her better judgment and the looks of her guards, Clarke shrugged on her outer jacket. She ignored the sharp stinging sensations as she pulled the curtain aside and stepped out. She was greeted to the sight of four Azgeda warriors. She scanned the female and two males in her peripheral briefly noting their solemn and pale faces hardened with blue and black ink, but remained focused on the female with piercing blue green eyes and light brown hair. She was tall, standing nearly six foot and her hair was long and wild weaved in a net of braids. A mighty sword was strapped to her back and another shorter blade hung at her hip. Her beauty was undeniable and the aged lines around her eyes and mouth were the only subtle visual confirmation of her advancing age. A luxurious pure white fur lined coat and high collar framed her sharp jawline. Clarke wondered if it was sensible to wear let alone travel in. It would be a shame to soil something so beautiful. Then again, she could not imagine this woman wearing anything other than exquisite things.

Clarke remained still and the two women regarded one another silently.

"You have so many names. Klark kom Skaikru, Skai Prisa, Wanheda." Her eyes were fierce and stoic, much like the icy snow covering the ground. "How do I address such a worthy warrior?" It was difficult to tell if her voice was sincere.

She held out her arm without looking back sensing the tension in her sentry. Austin returned his sword partially back to its sheath. "Clarke will work." It was obvious that the woman knew who she was and Clarke had an idea as to the identity of the stranger but hoped she was wrong. "Who are you?"

"You know who I am." This woman's face was fiercer than the first time Clarke had set eyes upon Lexa. Admittedly, she found Lexa's demanding presence grand, intimidating, but somewhat intriguing. This woman was no less dangerous. "I dislike games." It was as she feared, Queen Nia was in Polis.

"It is an honor to meet the leader of the Azgeda." She wanted to ask her why she was here but decided on the more diplomatic approach. More aptly why was she in Polis? Lexa had requested, more like demanded, the presence of the rest of the loyal clan members to Polis for her indoctrination and plans for going to war. She hoped that Lexa was aware of Queen Nia's presence within in the city. Suddenly, she remembered the bounty on her head. This woman was very confident to show herself in Polis.

"Yes, I suppose it is." Once of her eyebrows raised and Clarke noted the scar over part of her eyebrow that was concealed by an elaborate tattoo around her orbital fissure.

"How did you know I was here?" So far the exchange was tense but cordial. Clarke was grateful for having her friends by her side. Bran ushered the rest of the customers outside in a hurry watching the exchange carefully. She observed him say something to one of them and they rushed off. Hopefully, he had sent him to give word to the city guard.

"Everywhere you go you're a legend now, or haven't you noticed?" She took a step forward and Clarke stopped herself from retreating. Her voice was quiet and practically a pure. "I am curious, Klark, I have wanted to meet you for a long while. Tell me about the Mountain." The remaining people in the shop strained their ears to hear her answer.

 _None of us has a choice here, Clarke._

She took a deep breath. "I did what I had to do, that's all."

"You did more than that. You single handedly destroyed the greatest enemy of our people, the very reason the Coalition was founded."

"I had a little help."

Queen Nia stepped even closer until she was only a breath away and paused before her lips were nearly on her ear. Clarke was frozen in a combination of fear and bravado. Every instinct was telling her to put distance between her and this woman but she felt compelled to stand her ground and not look weak in front of so many people.

"And you also allowed Tondc to burn with my warriors inside of it." Clarke tensed at the accusation as Nia pulled back with a feral gleam in her eyes. "Some would say I'd have every right to seek retribution. And the other clans as well. I wonder if their leaders know?"

"Most would just say 'thank you' for giving your people justice." She responded condescendingly with her chin turned.

Queen Nia's eyes narrowed and her lips pursed. "I would be very careful, Klark kom Skaikru. My army is strong and vast. You do not want to make an enemy of me."

"Are you threatening me?" Clarke narrowed her eyes in a dare.

"Quite the opposite. In fact, I have room for a great warrior in my ranks. Heda has shown that she rather make deals with men who have tortured and enslaved us for decades. The company you choose is questionable." She said looking to Amelia with blood in her eyes. "It is full of traitors." Clarke could feel the tension radiating from Amelia both in fear and loathing. She turned her blue green eyes back to Clarke. "You need direction. This world is new to you. The Skaikru have been very cooperative as of late. I wonder if you are the same." Clarke bristled angered at the fact that Queen Nia's influence had reached her people. She did not want to believe the rumors but had a feeling it was true. The Skaikru were head strong and easily misled.

"I do what is necessary and so does Lexa. My loyalties are to my people, and to the Coalition. And my friends are loyal to those they deem worthy." Clarke stared her down a clear challenge in her eyes. "You said yourself that I am a legend," she took one step closer. "I came to the ground and in a matter of months did what none of you could do without an army." A light smile formed on her lips. "I would not speak ill of my companions."

" _You are a child, and so is Heda. I sent her last lover to her in pieces with her head in a bag."_ Her words were scathing and ruthless but nothing compared to the crazed fire in her eyes.

Amelia effectively drew her sword and both the Azgeda and her guards followed her example.

Before blood could be shed the front door banged open and five of the Polis guard poured in led by Titus, the head of the city's guard. Titus was easily distinguishable by his shaved head and calm facial expressions and was present at the meeting earlier this morning. He led Polis' formal guard, settling disputes within the city and between clans to uphold the policies within Polis. Tristan was also among them and Clarke wondered why Lexa's most trusted counselor would be present.

Titus surveyed the scene catching Clarke's eye and she calmed immediately at his nod. Lexa had sent him. _"This shop is closed for the evening. I have been given orders by Heda to escort the most distinguished Queen Nia to accommodations this evening. All clan leaders are to be given protection by the guard during their stay in Polis."_

" _Heda, has also requested your presence Skai Prisa,"_ Tristan bowed respectfully.

" _How very kind of Heda,"_ The tone of Nia's voice suggested she would acquiesce for now but did not believe the reasoning behind the actions. It made Clarke even more suspicious. _"And convenient for you," she motioned towards Clarke. "I will see you soon, Klark."_

"May we meet again" Clarke whispered her voice like steel and the pain on her back all but forgotten.

The Azgeda Queen left with an air of superiority and her sentry following. The Polis guards followed after her. Titus nodded respectfully shifting his long spear to the other hand as he exited the shop. Tristan and one other guard remained behind to escort her back to the capitols mansion. Bran was reimbursed for his fine work but ultimately denied payment stating he was privileged to create something for her. There was more respect in his eyes as he looked at her and a significant amount of pity.

* * *

Clarke wondered whether or not she should feel perturbed by the fact that Lexa had put a simple but beautifully crafted cot in her room for Jacob. She should not have been surprised, because Lexa said she would procure a cot for Jacob and what she said was usually what she did.

Her things had managed to find their way to Lexa's quarters. Normally, Clarke would have said something, as she detested being managed. In this instance, she found it annoyingly endearing and also comforting after the confrontation with Queen Nia. In the end, Clarke felt that no number of guards would protect her.

Lexa was absent for the evening meal. When Clarke learned she was speaking with dignitaries of the city, she realized how much of what Amelia said was true. The people were unsettled, and Lexa could not catch a moment to herself while in the capitol. Lexa was by far one of the more forgiving leaders in power. She was ruthless when it was required of her, and tolerant when it suited her. If Queen Nia's advisors had spoken out against their Queen, their tongues would have been sliced off at the table and taken away to a rousing slow and tortuous death. According to Coltrane, this was not how Heda operated. Although, Lexa was known to lose her temper and slice a few choice individuals with her knife or deliver a threat promising of a slow and tortuous death. Clarke assumed that the threat was the better option rather than carrying through with the ordeal.

She had not seen Lexa since the morning meeting and it was now late in the evening. Tristan had confirmed that Lexa had been made aware of Queen Nia's presence in the city and had immediately sent a party to retrieve her. He explained that she would have come herself but did not want to raise suspicions. Clarke asked one of the cooks in the kitchen to prepare a meal for Heda and they were happy to comply and gave her extra food for herself and a treat for Jacob who was happily at her side again. Rebekah was taking an early night clearly exhausted. Clarke suspected motherhood was going to be put off for a long while with her.

Since her things were in Lexa's room, she decided to forgo the courtesy of knocking. She hoped Lexa had returned for the evening as she was not in her room before Clarke left to collect food. She called out a warning and nodded to the guard stationed outside the door. She gestured for Rylan to follow her inside as he was carrying the tray of food prepared by the kitchen staff, as her arms were full of a squirming Jacob. More and more he was cruising on the furniture. He was still behind most children his age, as he was probably around 16 months by this time, but he was doing more than anyone had ever believed he could. It went to show that at times nurture could prevail. She was definitely getting an upper body workout and was excited and fearful of the day he could trample around on his own. She dreaded chasing after him most of all. If he were anything like her he would be giving her hell in no time.

Clarke paused once she was inside taking note of Lexa's presence. Her hair was pooled around her shoulders and her face was clean. She looked for all purposes deep in thought. Her body weight was braced on toned arms as she leaned against the table. Lexa turned straightening at her desk where she was pouring over papers. She nodded to Rylan and gazed curiously at the plate that he set down at a nearby table.

"You weren't at dinner," Clarke shrugged. It sounded like the tone her Mother used on her father when he was late coming home from work. She frowned to herself shaking off the memory and its random manifestation.

Lexa dismissed Rylan with a wave and Clarke rolled her eyes when he turned to her looking for further orders. "We're fine Rylan. Thank you, and get some rest."

"I will be outside." He said instead closing the door after him after glancing meaningfully at Lexa.

"He distrusts me." Lexa stated.

"It's been an interesting day and he's protective," Clarke clarified. "Like you it would seem." Lexa turned to face her more fully and Clarke invaded her personal space after setting Jacob on the floor to roam. "Possessive as well," Clarke remarked gazing into her eyes. _"You should have asked before having my things moved."_ Clarke clarified moving away to warm her hands in the large hearth. Her gloves hung on the mantle and were still slightly damp.

" _You would not have protested."_ Lexa returned confidently.

"It's customary to ask Lexa," Clarke replied with a raised eyebrow.

Lexa consented and nodded regally. Clarke rolled her eyes. There were many things that differed between their cultures. Lexa was unaccustomed to asking permission. The conversation was serious but it had a playful tone and she wondered if this was their form of flirting. She was out of practice even counting her brief romance with Finn. Her romance with Finn had been sudden and she had not considered long term, especially after the arrival of Raven. Mostly, she worried about the power that kind of love and devotion could have over someone. She did not want that to happen to her. Clarke became an obsession and it had turned Finn mad. Lexa also cared for her and she was worried any further interest on her part would ruin more than 18 lives this time. Lexa had more power at her hands than Finn and a fully loaded firearm.

So what was different now? Why was it different with Lexa?

She could not help but note the tired set to Lexa's normally vibrant eyes. She raised her fingers and traced the edge of the beginnings of dark circles. "You're tired. Did you get much settled?" she asked in curiosity. She felt bad that she had been touring the city and meeting with operatives rather than assisting her here. Not that she knew the first thing about running such a large city. Supposedly the Ice Nation was just as massive.

Lexa sighed and in true fashion of one so weary, but slightly uncharacteristic for the warrior, she dropped her head to Clarke's right shoulder. Or rather, Clarke realized, perhaps she was only just getting to know Lexa beyond the stony-faced potentate she was acquainted with. Clarke hesitated a moment before bringing up her arms around Lexa's shoulders. Her skin pulled uncomfortably but she ignored it. One hand found the wild main of Lexa's hair without her behest. Lexa's own hands were hesitant and respectful. Clarke winced when one of her hands touched upon her bandages. Lexa carefully repositioned her hands avoiding the raw skin about her back as she loosely held Clarke's waist. It was in these rare, but increasing in frequency, considerate moments that Clarke wondered at the depth of Lexa's heart and her capacity to love. Her hands threaded through the brown and slightly red tinted locks with more possession. Had it been this way between Lexa and Costia? Clarke tried not to dwell on this. She had never asked Finn about his past lovers, and the past was over.

"I wish to kill them all." Lexa said in reference to her council against her shoulder with a small amount of irritation. Clarke stiffened and then relaxed when she realized the words were in jest.

"Too much work to replace them," Clarke responded and she felt Lexa's face turn into her neck and her mouth turn upwards in a grin against her skin. Clarke tried not to shiver at the sensual touch. "We could always attempt a cognitive recalibration."

"Sounds impressive." The words were mumbled against her skin.

"Not really. We just hit them really hard in the head." Clarke felt more than heard the breath of air escape at Lexa's amusement.

A loud crash sounded behind them and they sprung around finding Jacob on his rump with a cloth and a few random articles around him. She went over to him shaking her head and drying his tears. "You're fine. Dry your eyes." She coddled him on a regular basis but did not want him to rely on her for such small things. Grounder children were strong. She wanted him to be strong in this world to give him his best chance.

"He will walk soon," Lexa commented coming to her side and putting the random articles in their rightful place.

"I know," she responded pleased as Jacob stopped his tears and began making his way over to Lexa.

He pulled on her trousers until he pulled himself into standing. She merely raised an eyebrow and Clarke snickered at the picture they created. Lexa moved slowly over to the tray of food so that Jacob could work on following with her using her as a point of stability. It was a ridiculous visual but she suspected there were more unusual things to see in the world. Lexa sat with Jacob still clutching her leg while he beckoned to Clarke with his free fist. Clarke picked him up sitting him on her lap while Lexa ate.

"Is Jacob a common name for your people?" Lexa questioned as she sliced a piece of bread.

"It was common one for the old world I suppose. I named him after my father, although my father went by the shortened version, Jake," she explained. "He was a revolutionary," she reminisced. "He died trying to tell the truth about the crisis on the Ark. We were running out of air and the air system was failing," she explained. "It was only a matter of time before we suffocated. It's why my friends and I were sent to the ground to see if it was survivable. We were expendable because we were criminals and underage so we couldn't be floated." Lexa nodded recognizing the term that Clarke had explained to her before. "He wanted to tell everyone and my mother informed the Chancellor. He was floated, and I was imprisoned because I knew the truth."

"You blame her still?" Lexa questioned referring to her mother. Lexa knew Clarke's mother to be intelligent and headstrong. Abby did what she thought was right, just like her daughter, only her understanding of the Trigedakru was not on par with her daughters. Clarke had respected their ways, and was willing to learn and compromise.

Clarke shrugged. "Some days. I was really close with him, both of them. Betrayal hurts," she said looking at Lexa and the woman paused catching her eye in a serious expression. "Even if the best of intentions are intended." Clarke broke the gaze and snatched some of the softer food on the plate for Jacob. "It doesn't mean that it can't be healed. People change, we have to sometimes."

"We do," Lexa said solemnly.

"More?" Clarke said to Jacob in English then repeated the question in Trigedasleng including a hand sign.

"What is this gesture?" Lexa asked. "I have seen you make gestures with him before during speech."

"Sign language." Clarke explained. "We used to coincide sign language with kids on the Ark to help with language skills as they grow. I'm not fluent, but I can get by."

"An unusual skill."

"It's useful in battle, since most of my people know it. We used it when fighting you. You had stealth, so we learned to communicate less verbally."

"An interesting concept." She took a drink of the tea that Clarke had brought. No doubt it was cool enough to drink by now.

"Tristan seems nice." Clarke remarked changing topics and took the cup from Lexa's grasp boldly taking a drink herself.

"He is my trusted advisor," she responded watching Clarke. "He was with me when I was sent word to your location in Polis. He is also a cousin on my fathers side." Clarke put the cup down and gave Jacob another piece of food. The clay forming the teacup was well designed. As an artist she appreciated the beauty in the finer details.

Clarke rolled her eyes and grumbled, "Why am I not surprised? Is your family everywhere?"

"They are where I need them." Lexa stated with aplomb. "You need to be kept safe."

"I noticed we have visitors," she said referring to Queen Nia.

"More will be arriving. I called for the clan leaders, it was bold of her to come. And even bolder to approach you alone. Once I was made aware of her arrival I sent the guard to watch her and retrieve you." Clarke refrained from stating she was not a dog.

"I wasn't alone." She reminded her and Lexa nodded. Clarke was not unhappy to have the excuse of leaving the Ice Queen's presence. In fact, she was grateful having been pulled out of a possible blood bath.

"If you are not with her you pose a threat." Lexa emphasized her eyes serious and intense.

"I'm beginning to understand that. Thanks." Clarke was drained from the day and the conversation lulled. She was trying to figure out a way to broach another subject, one that may possibly threaten their mending relationship.

"You are not yourself," Lexa noted after watching the blond fidget with her sons shirt. "What has happened? Did she threat you?" There was concern as well as demand in the question.

"Yes, but nothing I didn't expect. Everything is fine." Clarke said casually. She was trying to figure out a way to broach the topic of her afternoon meeting without getting anyone killed in the process.

"How long before you trust me?" Lexa asked candidly both in utter seriousness and slight exasperation. Clarke relayed more trust in action and words only to close herself off after realizing she had done so. It was causing Lexa to question every move she made with the foreign raised woman. Long ago, Clarke had asked Lexa to trust her. And Lexa had in her own way, the only way she had known how to.

"I'm trying Lexa. I'm not sure it's you I don't trust anymore." Clarke admitted, thinking about herself and Finn, and everyone else in her life. "Can you listen and promise not to kill anyone if I confide in you?"

"I will try." Lexa responded in dry humor. Clarke's face remained expectant and unrelenting. Lexa merely sighed when she saw the other woman was serious. "You have my word. Although, I am wondering if I will regret it afterwards."

"I met with some people this afternoon, other than Queen Nia." Clarke revealed slowly. "I wasn't just touring the city and getting my back adorned with tattoos. Although, I did do that and it hurts like a bitch." She watched Lexa's gaze searching for any form of anger or change in countenance. She licked her lips as the silence reigned. "There are people out there that believe you aren't fit to lead. And they thought I might be an appropriate candidate to replace you." She said bluntly trying not to pull her punches. She knew Lexa could handle it, or at least hoped she could.

Lexa took it in stride. "I am not naïve Klark. I know what the people think; the good and the bad. If I surrounded myself with what I wished to hear, I would be no better than Nia. I tolerate it to a point, to give the people a sense of freedom and a voice. I know of the abundant support for you. The people look to you as they once did me."

"That's not true," Clarke said resting her hand atop Lexa's. They both gazed at their hands awkwardly for a moment until Clarke swallowed and gathered her courage to continue. "They still look to you. You are a great leader, Lexa. You are the Coalition; remember all of the people who have faith in you. Gustus believed in you. I do as well." Lexa's piercing eyes burned deep into hers. "I told them no, or rather I told them to fuck off, in more polite terms of course. That they would be fools to forsake you, and that we're going to kill Queen Nia together." Clarke pronounced.

Lexa's face was void of anger or surprise as she expected, but there was a fierceness to her gaze that gave Clarke pause. Lexa removed her hand from under Clarke's and brought her fingertips to the edge of Clarke's face tracing the soft skin almost reverently.

"Are you trying to protect me?" she asked softly, almost gently.

"That's what we do, right?" Clarke responded searching the other woman's gaze. "Protect each other."

Lexa's other hand came up until Clarke was leaning awkwardly closer to her with Jacob still in her lap. The young boy was forgotten for a moment as Lexa cupped her face in a gentle fashion behooving her nature. "Always." It was said was such finality that made Clarke swallow and lick her lips. There was so much meaning to interpret behind the single word and she could not begin to imagine how much could be conveyed in such a small sentiment. Hazel green eyes held her own blue captive and she could not fathom a reason why she would ever want to move from this position. Jacob chose this moment to make himself known.

Lexa's hands dropped from her face and Clarke blinked dazed for a moment before noting Jacob was crying and in need of a change. She struggled to her feet, still slightly shaking from the intense moment that had just occurred between them. Truth be told it was happening more lately and Clarke found herself ever grateful for Lexa's strong will and determination that she would wait and let her make the next move, if there ever was one. She wanted whatever to happen between them to be real, and to do that they needed to have an unshakable amount of trust. At least that's what Clarke required. She lost faith and trust in Finn, and many others she had cared for. Sometimes deep affection, even love was not enough. It was not enough for her parents.

Clarke moved Jacob and gathered the things necessary to clean him. She laid down a blanket on the floor and tried to avoid Lexa's stare at her back. She finished her routine; no doubt Lexa was also familiar with it and knew exactly how long it took her.

"Will you read tonight?" She was cleaning her hands when she heard the question.

Clarke turned seeing Lexa's expectant gaze and hand holding the copy of _The Hobbit_ she had started reading during their travels. Her head cocked to the side silently watching. Clarke leaned her hip against the desk and crossed her arms then winced and re-settled because of the pain of her newly acquired artwork. The bandages would be changed tomorrow.

"You want me to?" she asked. Lexa was not one to ask or say please on a regular basis. Instead, Clarke moved from the desk and moved past Lexa. She readied Jacob for the evening and then did so herself. She stripped her clothes leaving herself in a tank top and panties and moved Jacob to the bed. Lexa's eyes stared at her smooth legs. Clarke undid a few of the more elaborate braids in her hair that were slightly uncomfortable and sat cross-legged under Lexa's unwavering eyes. "Bring it here." She gestured with her head still undoing the braids. Lexa set the book on the nightstand and joined Clarke on the bed. She sat on the edge and began peeling her clothes throwing them to the floor in a more careless manner than Clarke's method.

It was slightly chilled in the room so Clarke moved herself under the covers while Lexa watched. She refused to comment on Lexa's similar attire or unwavering stare. Clarke settled herself against a few pillows and wrapped her arms around Jacob as she found where she had left off in the story. After a minute she turned her head and looked at Lexa and then to the empty spot next to her expectantly. Lexa merely pulled back the blankets and slid in next to her. She took a large pillow and carefully laid down curling up near Clarke's left hip. Her right hand moved under the pillow and the left curled under her chin. Her fingers reached out to tease Jacob's foot every now and then. She raised an eyebrow expectantly and Clarke took it as her cue that she was ready.

Finally settled, Clarke opened the book and began to read in a calm and soothing voice. Lexa watched Clarke raptly for at least fifteen minutes before her eyes fluttered closed. She released a gentle sigh as her arm rested on Clarke's thigh while her left fingers stroked Jacob's leg. Clarke continued on a little longer until she found a good spot to end for the night. Jacob was nearly asleep, or calm enough that Clarke could attempt to put him to sleep at least. He was a fairly quiet child; she related it to his survival instincts and his abandonment.

She crept from the bed removing Lexa's arm, and tried not to jostle him as she laid him in the cot next to her side of the bed. His eyes blinked open briefly as she pulled a blanket over him and kissed the mismatched fingers of his right hand. She turned off the lanterns and left one on a low dim so she could see when Jacob awoke a few hours later. Clarke slid back under the blankets wondering if Lexa was actually asleep or merely resting. She had her answer when the warrior spoke quietly.

"Many believe we are sleeping together." Lexa's eyes were closed and Clarke paused briefly before turning to face her.

"We are sleeping together Lexa," she said with a twitch of her lips. One of Lexa's eyes cracked open to regard her but they were tired. Instead, she closed her eyes again in a blissful sigh and closed the distance. Hesitant fingers found her waist and skimmed the edges of her tank top under the blankets. Clarke's skin prickled with gooseflesh but not from cold. She held impossibly still and even held her breath watching Lexa's face the entire time. The arm finally settled until her forearm was slung casually in a loose hold across her waist that was neither smothering nor indifferent. Clarke relaxed slowly and closed her eyes surrendering to sleep.

When Clarke awoke hours later to Jacob's cries she eased away from Lexa's arm tucked more securely from around her waist. She paced the floor with Jacob yawning as she did so and changed him before he settled once more. When she lifted the blankets nearly an hour later, Lexa, with her eyes still closed helped the blonde back into bed and snaked her arm once more around her waist claiming its place in sleep. The warmth of the bed and the feeling of security eased Clarke's mind and she was asleep soon after.

* * *

Translations:

Sis em hop- grab him

Chil yo daun-stand down

 _Jomp em op en yu jomp ai op._ –attack her and you attack me.

 _Yu gonplei ste odon. – your fight is over._

 _Daun ste pleni- That is enough_

 _Jus drein, jus daun. – blood must have blood_

* * *

AN: As always the mistakes are mine. This story has no Beta. I really hope you enjoy this long chapter. Truthfully, I have one more chapter this length written but it's scattered and the scenes jump around (I was getting desperate by the end of NaNoWriMo). This read extremely different and I spent a week editing, reorganizing and writing an additional 4k words to this to make is acceptable from my standpoint. Not to let you down, but the next update will be around later January. I've got my two jobs, and I am taking a year long professional class. Please be patient with me. At least we all have season three to look forward to!

Please read and review. Your words inspire me and I can't tell you how much I look forward to reading them and how much they brighten my otherwise mundane existence. lol


	17. Chapter 17

The sun had barely risen before Lexa and Clarke were called from their deep slumber. A month ago Clarke would have feared sleep. Her dreams used to be plagued by metaphorical demons the minute her eyes closed. Finn did not haunt her mind as before. The blood soaking his shirt was no longer bright crimson. His stoic gaze followed her until she found a city by the ocean to take respite. Finn shadowed her until the day came when he simply was no longer there. As she grew enamored with the people of Leston, and with her newly adopted son, Clarke had little time for the ghosts of her past, and slowly she was made whole. However, she still felt for the lives she had taken, and the deaths indirectly suffered under her hand. Yet, it proved she could continue living in a world where sacrifices were a necessity and life and death were irrevocably intertwined.

She dressed watching Lexa under her lashes as the woman attached her long black coat with a series of buckles followed by the beautiful red sash that wrapped around her left arm and trailed behind her. Her eyes were lined with a light sheen of coal making her natural eye color blaze. The golden symbol of Heda rested between her brows. In this moment, Clarke realized how stunning Lexa was. She was also the culprit that helped ease her passage into sleep night after night.

Clarke continued dressing and handed her son to Rylan instead of Rebekah. The young warrior was her responsibility. She was her second and needed to be trained as such. Therefore, Clarke arranged for her to train with the Night Bloods, other children chosen as potential candidates and hosts for the spirit of Heda should Lexa fall. Rebekah was determined to succeed with this opportunity as well as relieved not to watch her mentor's son. While Clarke was pleased with the girl's elation at the privilege, it was also not an unselfish act. Training served as an excuse to keep Rebekah farther from harm. Rebekah was a target for her relation to Heda and as being the second to Wanheda. The title of Wanheda automatically made Clarke a target, part of the reason why the Ice Queen wanted her either alive or dead at her hand in order to take her power and overthrow the Coalition and ultimately Lexa.

Todays Summit called together the clan leaders with the exception of Savannah and Simone, the two-clan leaders that had turned their backs on the Coalition. And while they had declared their allegiance to the Azgeda, proof of the clan's treachery had not been proven, despite the all-encompassing word of Heda. Polis was a city of peace and acts of war were taken seriously within the city's more neutral territory.

Clarke finished with the last of her braids and sheathed Lexa's knife at her waist as her final adornment. Together they walked the distance to the mansions meeting room where Lexa held small gatherings. They paused at the doors and Lexa blinked at Clarke slowly. Clarke nodded gravely and Lexa signaled for her guards to open the doors.

" _Rise for your Heda,"_ Titus bellowed and the sound of chairs screeching back made Clarke's fingers twitch.

They walked into the room confidently and Clarke kept her gaze focused on the two empty seats towards the head of the table. Lexa's was grand and imposing, not quite the throne made of weapons in the Polis' watchtower, but still worthy for any leader. Clarke noted Masou and Luna's presence standing in respect and noted the two empty seats besides the Ice Queen where the Grassland and Horse clans' leaders would normally occupy. Clarke gripped the dagger at her waist subconsciously. Many of these people were enemies. She grew strength from the confidence in Lexa's stride and the presence of the selected few of her and Lexa's personal guards scattered about the room. She was slightly surprised to see Indra besides Luna. They nodded to one another as she passed and found she was eager to speak with her in private about the Skaikru.

" _Sit, we have much to discuss."_ Lexa ordered firmly after sweeping her cloak and red sash behind her. Her arms clasped behind her back and she gazed expectantly at the gathered leaders and council members.

Clarke began to sit with the others observing protocol. Lexa was not her leader, but she respected her position amongst the people and would not dishonor her in front of the other clan leaders. As she made to sit, deft fingers encircled her wrist and kept her from doing so. Clarke dared to look at Lexa from the corner of her gaze but could not depict anything from her expression. She remained tall next to the Trigedakru leader and once she made no further move to sit, Lexa removed her fingers.

Clarke noted many unfamiliar faces about the room as the leaders sat with their seconds. The Heda's council members were also present and the room felt nearly claustrophobic and the tension was high. She could feel Titus' disapproval from behind her, as she remained standing. Despite his assistance yesterday, Clarke felt she had something to prove to this man.

As the clan and council members sat, Queen Nia and a handsome man with a calm but fierce gaze and short beard remained standing. Clarke noted once more her impeccable fur lined jacket and the scars adorning her face including the somewhat makeshift crown wrapping from behind her head to grace her forehead.

Lexa looked pointedly at the Azgeda members.

" _The Azgeda will pay respect to Heda,"_ Titus demanded.

" _I demand to know what has become of my delegate that attended the council meeting yesterday."_

" _The Heda found him too loose with his words."_ Titus spoke from besides Lexa.

Various faces turned automatically to Heda but few appeared surprised, especially the members from Lexa's personal council and Indra. Voices erupted around them while Clarke recalled Lexa expressing irritation with the meeting yesterday. The blond turned her head and signaled Amelia with her eyes and her warrior silently made her way to her side. Besides her, Lexa's face remained unperturbed.

"What is she talking about?" she asked in hushed tones to Amelia.

"The Azgeda proclaimed her weakness upon finding Wanheda alive. She kicked him from the tower window to his death." Clarke's eyes widened imperceptivity. She had not realized how seriously the Trigedakru took to their superstitions about taking the power of those they had killed. It made the bounty on Clarke's head more understandable as well as the lengths that Lexa had gone to protect her by sending Coltrane and ordering her own flesh and blood to watch over her. Clarke realized the risk Lexa was taking by helping her; even jeopardizing their relationship to go behind her back and help her knowing Clarke would be angry.

 _You can't just kill everyone you don't trust._

 _Yes, I can._

Clarke noticed the muscles of Lexa's jaw flex, the only indication that she was displeased. Her eyes spoke of authority and were nearly devoid of emotion. It was difficult to picture the softness she had observed upon waking earlier that morning.

 _I do trust you, Klark._

 _I know how hard that is for you._

" _Silence!"_ Lexa bared her teeth. _"He displeased me and questioned my motives."_ She responded harshly. "Now, take your seat, immediately, or you will be next."

Queen Nia's eyes raged before settling coolly as she sat. Clarke disliked the woman's composed features. She remained standing next to Lexa not wanting to cause more turbulence within the already unstable meeting. Her presence appeared to be more than enough ammunition for the other clans to second-guess Heda.

" _The reason for this summit has changed. We are no longer here to merely celebrate the formation of the Coalition but also to welcome Klark kom Skaikru, Wanheda-legendary warrior and Slayer of the Mountain."_ Lexa paused and Clarke remained tall at her side. She saw Luna shift and made a mental note to speak with her at the earliest convenience. Plans changed and Wanheda's role in the world was evolving faster than she could control. _"As a member of the Skaikru, she will serve as an Ambassador to her people. As leaders of your respective clans you are here to cast your vote to the addition of the Skaikru as the Thirteenth clan and Wanheda's official place among our people."_ She paused raising her chin defiantly daring anyone to speak against her.

" _What of Savannah and Simone?"_ spoke a man with half of his flesh seared from his face. It appeared as if he had been in a great fire and his flesh had partially melted. He held the symbol of the fire mountain on his jacket.

" _They are no longer welcome here and will be stripped of their titles as clan leader."_ Lexa commented nonchalantly and voices whispered once more. She raised her voice until there was quiet. _"They have committed treason and once this matter has been settled, they will be replaced and will pay with their lives, as will others who have conspired with them."_

Lexa's gaze fell on Queen Nia and she did not elaborate on the depth of their treason. The Queen and younger man at her side remained composed and appeared neither surprised nor angered. A glimmer of metal caught Clarke's eye and drew her gaze to the small beacon around the man's neck. In sudden alarm, she recognized it as a beacon from the Ark. They could not have gotten it without getting close enough to her people to steal it. There was no way the Arkers would have given it freely to them as it was a means to detect other survivors of the Ark. Their conversation from yesterday came rushing back to her. Cooperative. Her people were anything but cooperative when it came to the Trigedakru. Clarke could only come to one conclusion, they were holding some of her people captive, or at the very least had them at their mercy in some manner.

Clarke locked eyes with the man and he held her scrutiny firmly. A small smile graced his lips as he nodded and touched the beacon at his throat. It was all the confirmation that she needed. She clenched her fist and dug her fingernails into her thigh in order to stay poised lest she throw herself at the Azgeda and start a war.

" _I object."_ An older man with dark weathered skin and a long grey beard said boldly from his chair. Lexa stared at him with danger in her eyes. _"She is a foreigner. If you want her to have a place among us, let her earn it in battle."_ Luna was eyeing him with disdain and Clarke realized this was the rival clan of the Floudonkru, the leader of the Seakru and Master of the Vessels, Pelagius.

" _If my kills in battle is in question let me assure you that I have more than enough to satisfy your requirements."_ Clarke declared suddenly tired of being a spectator when it was she they were debating over. She could still feel the pain of the newly acquired tattoo on her back. "The last time someone threatened me or my people I killed their leader and every man woman and child in residence," she said meaningfully eying Queen Nia and the man at her side displaying the beacon around his neck. Her chest heaved in the air and her blood boiled.

"You are very sure that you've destroyed them all." Queen Nia responded to her outburst. "How can we trust someone to be one of us, when you let so many of our people die at Tondc?" Lexa and Clarke stilled. "Or do you and Heda deny that you had foresight of the attack that killed our warriors?"

Indra chose that moment to stand from her seat. "You have no right to question Heda."

" _Let her speak,"_ Yarrow of the Lake Clan interrupted. He had thick dark hair with a topknot with thin lips and slanted eyes.

" _She speaks lies."_ Indra barked and Clarke found it interesting to note that she was one of the few people who knew the truth and found it within her to deny it to protect them. She admired Indra's resolve and loyalty.

"It's true," Clarke admitted tranquilly and all eyes turned. She caught Lexa's gaze and tried to convey reassurance. "I received word of a missile launch and travelled to Tondc with the warning."

" _So it is true,"_ Yarrow whispered narrowing his eyes searching her character.

"We had no choice." She implored. "We had come by the information last minute, and if we had acted on it, our spy would have been revealed and our way in the mountain would have been lost."

" _You sacrificed our people to protect one of yours!"_ Pelagius rose from his seat and Clarke could make out Queen Nia's smug countenance.

"Skaikru and Trigedakru died in the bombing at Tondc! All of us had someone die there that day!" Clarke declared scolding the older man as if he were a child. "It was war. Victory stands on the back of sacrifice," she quoted remembering the sage words Lexa had spoken to her. Clarke felt Lexa's gaze on her and drew confidence from it. _"I have been named Wanheda because not only do I command death, but I've also had to decide when to kill, and when to sacrifice lives. I doubt you would have been strong enough to sacrifice your warriors for victory."_

" _It is as Wanheda says,"_ Lexa spoke laying a hand on Clarke's shoulder. The gesture of allegiance was not lost in the face of those who questioned them. _"A sacrifice was to be made, and it was mine to make in times of war. It is not your place to decide such matters, or have you forgotten your place? I will gladly show it to you."_

The threat implied was obvious. A hush overcame the crowd and Clarke felt a moment of triumph despite Pelagius' malevolent expression.

 _You're very brave under the Commander's protection, aren't you?_

" _I will attest to Wanheda's worthiness,"_ Luna spoke eyeing Pelagius.

" _As will I,"_ Masou replied.

"Perhaps we should let the matter be depicted by the old ways?" Queen Nia suggested from her seat. Lexa stiffened besides her, the hand still on Clarke's shoulder tightened before slowly returning to her side. Clarke was immediately on high alert.

" _A tournament?"_ Walentynia clarified from her position near Pelagius. She was the leader of the Island Clan with tanned skin, slightly curly ebony hair and dark almond eyes. Artful tattoos covered her arms down to her fingernails. She was also one of the younger clan leaders, only slightly older than herself and Lexa. She possessed a great deal of calm and poise making it easy to listen to her. _"You mean a duel to depict the ruling."_

" _Yes, and I volunteer Prince Roan to oppose Wanheda's claim to our people and the Skaikru's induction into the Coalition."_

One by one the clan delegates and even Lexa's council appeared to be in unison. A few of Clarke's personal acquaintances opposed but it appeared the notion would be agreed upon.

" _Shof op! Pleni!"_ Lexa practically roared in the room. Conversation ceased immediately and Queen Nia's eyes depicted smugness at the anger in Lexa's tone. "The tournament will commence. And just as you have chosen your son," Clarke eyes moved to Prince Roan, the same man wearing the Ark's beacon around his neck, "Wanheda will choose a champion." Again, Lexa was attempting to protect her. "The matter is settled. The tournament will take place in one week. Once it is settled we will move forth. You are dismissed."

Before Clarke knew it, Lexa had stormed from the meeting room with her cousin Tristan and a few of her personal guards following. If Clarke did not know Lexa as she did she would suspect she was perturbed, possibly irate at the turn of events. It was very different behavior than when they had arrived together as a unified front at the beginning of the meeting. Clarke sighed internally letting the leader have her moment of peace. If Lexa was displeased by her mention of Tondc then it was something she would need to get over and quickly. The Azgeda were playing dirty and were attempting any means necessary to make them look like fools and show their weaknesses. They had held them off and turned Tondc's bombing into a victory not a bloodbath.

Either way, she would soothe her spirit when they met later in the evening. She cautiously watched the Azgeda members disperse from the meeting along with Nolan, one of Lexa's council members, and Pelagius. For now, she had friends and allies of her own to greet.

"Indra," Clarke wasted no time in grasping the woman's arm. It may have been slightly rude but the fierce warrior took it in stride and nodded.

"Wanheda," Indra began her face and words respectful. "It is an honor and pleasure to see you alive and well, Klark."

Clarke raised an eyebrow and cocked her head. "You as well. Have you news about Camp Jaha and my friends?" She cut to the chase knowing that the warrior had been supplying them over the months she had been absent.

"Arkadia," Indra corrected and Clarke released her arm in question. "Their territory is no longer Camp Jaha. They have re-named it Arkadia. Your mother and Marcus are in charge and well, if overwrought with worry for your sake." Clarke could detect a small amount of reprimand in her words.

"Everyone's safe?" She asked ignoring the remark for now.

"Safe," Indra nearly scoffed. "Such a relative term. You should know by now that no one is safe Wanheda. They are alive, for now. They have been joined by a man named Pike and 63 survivors from another station of your Ark." She lowered her voice meaningfully. "They were discovered beyond Sector Seven which is part of the territory the Azgeda hold."

Clarke took this information in stride knowing that the Azgeda capitol of Falls was farther north, but they had other territory claimed, as did other clans. The Sectors meant little to her, but she suspected that the Skaikru had named territory accordingly. "Pike? Charles Pike?" Indra nodded. "He was my Earth skills teacher."

Indra stared challengingly. "He is a ruthless man and has little tolerance for our ways and people. They do not permit our people inside without an escort. Times are tense, you need to return."

Clarke tensed her shoulders and tried to listen to Indra's wisdom rather than the rebuke. "I know; I needed time. And I've been needed here."

Indra nodded acceptingly. "This I understand." Indra turned as Titus approached waiting patiently for their conversation to end. "Do not wait much longer."

"I won't," she promised. She watched as Indra paused to speak with Luna and Masou along with Luna's guard Argentine, and Taro, Masou's son. Clarke nodded to them both in acknowledgments before she turned to face Titus. His face was somber and a mask of patience. Her conversation with the rest of her allies was put on hold.

" _You come here with the power of death. What is it you think you control?"_

"What are you talking about?" She asked curiously. He had aided her yesterday and now he was practically accusatory.

"Heda bows before no one." He spoke strongly in challenge.

Clarke stood flabbergasted for a moment. _"No one controls, Heda. She does as she pleases."_ It was the truth. Lexa was beyond reasoning when her mind was made up, but Clarke found her listening to reason more often than not, especially when it was her that was speaking. Perhaps this is what Titus worried over. Lexa listened to Clarke but Heda was above them all, even the legendary warrior Wanheda.

" _What are your intentions towards Heda?"_ Titus asked abruptly. _"She gives you her intention and you have done nothing."_ He gestured to the knife at her hip that Lexa had bestowed to her as a symbol of courtship. Few knew of this and she felt the need to cover the knife protecting it from his prying eyes. She was hardly unaware now that Liam had explained the intention of bestowing a non-family member a personal weapon.

Clarke narrowed her eyes and taking a glance away from him, met his eyes with a step forward. She lowered her voice and spoke calmly. "I get that you don't trust me with Heda. But I'm not the betraying type." The obvious dig made the older mans face strain.

" _You make her look weak by your insubordination."_ The Fleimkepa lowered his voice and Clarke dared to look beyond him for a moment where a few of the other council members and remaining clan leaders were obviously scrutinizing them. Clarke returned her gaze to Titus unwilling to back down. _"She's thinks you are special. But I have served four previous Heda's and none of them compare to her until you made yourself known. She looks at you not as Wanheda, but as if you are the sun, the stars and the moon."_

Clarke's throat tightened and her mouth went dry. She wanted to tell him that she knew, that she had felt the looks upon her face and the heat warm her body with a mere glance from Lexa. Instead, she raised her chin and spoke words of conviction. _"She's special to me too and I'm going to protect her."_ Had she not said something similar to Brie days ago? Lexa was indeed elevating Clarke and treating her as an equal, something Clarke appreciated and felt she deserved, but she also recognized the danger in such actions. Treating Clarke as an equal made Lexa look vulnerable and less capable as Heda even if she was both the feared Wanheda and beloved Skai Prisa. Clarke would not be the one weakness that Heda possessed. She would be stronger and show that she was worthy, more than worthy to be at Heda's side. If they wanted the Commander of Death, she would give it to them.

"My intentions towards Heda are my own." She grit out finally controlling her anger at this man who was one of Lexa's most trusted advisors and captain of the Polis Guard. "The title your people gifted me alludes that I control death, and the only one around here I'm willing to listen to is Lexa, so I think that means she has the right idea treating me as she does." She paused indicating her point. "Lexa's ruthless, but she's smart. You should probably trust her judgment more and ask less questions." He seemed to register her words, but Clarke could not decipher anything further from his facial expression.

Her next words came suddenly before she could stop them. "The Skaikru also have their own courtship rituals. It is not unusual for a pair to spend months, even years courting before joining. Instead of weapons, we exchange rings." He scrutinized her for a moment and she licked her lips. "My father passed long ago." Had it already been two years since his death? "My mother has no need for her wedding bands any longer."

She stated boldly her heart racing at the words that had spilled from her mouth. She was suddenly glad that Lexa was not in the room. Titus appeared neither pleased nor angered by her declaration. It was something Clarke had thought of since Brie had spoken to her, but the sentiment seemed so far away considering she did not know when she was to return to the Skaikru and see her mother again. And then there was the fact that her and Lexa had never discussed such things so blatantly mostly because it fell to Clarke's shoulders to instigate any further commitment in regards to their relationship. She could not help but wonder what Lexa wanted. Every action spoke of deep regard and affection. She wasted no time protecting her and creating a place for Clarke at her side. With a clenching feeling in her stomach Clarke recognized Titus for what he was. He was not merely Fleimkepa, but the closest person Lexa had to an actual father figure since she had been proclaimed Heda. For a pained moment Clarke wondered what her own father would have said about her and Lexa and if he would dare corner Lexa demanding her intentions. She nearly smiled reminiscing about her father. He probably would make Lexa watch a European football game.

" _I'm going to protect her,"_ she said resolutely. _"I swear it."_

Titus straightened with a brusque nod. The undisclosed threat to harm her, despite her importance and title as feared Wanheda and beloved Skai Prisa, was left unsaid. Clarke was left feeling both a weight lifted from her shoulders and more burdens put upon them. Her feelings were still a mess, but she could not ignore their development for much longer. Time was short and there were battles to face. Either of them could die at any minute.

Clarke's mind was preoccupied the entire trip back to her and Lexa's room. She was silent as Rylan and Austin escorted her and tried to show interested towards Rebekah in their brief encounter as the young warrior recounted her training regimen with the Night Bloods. At long last she entered their chambers and upon closing the door sighed and leaned back against the frame. She opened her eyes spotting Lexa on the bed with Jacob standing on shaking legs and bracing his hands on her shoulders.

Clarke almost felt bad for the loss of her peaceful gaze as Lexa turned to look at her.

"Rebekah is covered in bruises. Your Night Bloods are a terrifying bunch." She said in greeting picking what she hoped was a safe topic. She would discuss the matter of the Azgeda holding her people hostage in the morning. There was nothing that could be done this day. The meeting had gone later than expected and too many interruptions had taken place since then. Accusing the Azgeda of holding the Skaikru hostage would only work if they were inducted successfully as the thirteenth clan.

"They must be to be considered as potential vessels for the spirit of Heda." Lexa said standing and picking Jacob up and settling him on her right hip. Clarke watched them silently.

"Terrifying and charming," she added softly. Lexa's brows furrowed and Clarke grinned tiredly. "A young Night Blood named Aiden gave Rebekah a thrashing."

Lexa nodded with approval and something akin to pride both at the skills of her pupil and the persistence of her niece. "He is my prodigy and the most skilled in combat. He will be ready for his conclave soon to test if he is the one to be chosen to study under me. He was able to land a blow when we sparred in training days ago."

Clarke blinked moving away from the door and began taking off her outer layers. "Well, he must skilled then. And well adept at wooing young girls his age."

"Such things are beneath them," Lexa said suddenly and Clarke paused before setting down her jacket.

"I thought you decided that love wasn't weakness after all." She turned to study Lexa who merely stared contemplating her words. Clarke held her breath before reminding herself to breath normally.

"It is both the greatest weakness and strength." She declared at long last her eyes never wavering from Clarke's. Her eyes dipped lower to gaze at her lips. "Perhaps it is also the most powerful weapon."

"I heard you kicked the Azgeda delegate out of the tower. How was he supposed to deliver his message?" Clarke changed the topic at an attempt to soothe the somber tone between them.

"His death was the message, Klark." She answered raising an eyebrow while setting Jacob down. She faced Clarke with an air of importance. "Klark, you need to take this seriously. The tournament is a battle that usually ends in death."

"When doesn't it?" Clarke remarked indifferently. Her gaze remained on the warmth of the fire in the room casting a serene ambiance.

"You cannot fight Prince Roan." Lexa approached until Clarke was forced to turn and meet her. Her voice was strong and held conviction as she would when normally addressing her subjects. "He is well trained and a ruthless warrior, and despite the skills you possess, he will kill you." Clarke was too smart to admit otherwise. She was a healer, a strategist, a survivalist, and a warrior in her own right, but when it came to one on one combat her training was limited, let alone a match to the Azgeda heir.

"Amelia, volunteered." Clarke whispered absently her mind clearly elsewhere.

"But you are going to fight." Lexa said tensely after searching Clarke's gaze. Lexa's hands were balled into tight fists at her side.

"I don't want anyone else dying for me." Clarke admitted holding her stare resolutely.

With a feral snarl Lexa punched the wall besides Clarke's head. Clarke kept her eyes on Lexa without flinching and the woman sucked in air erratically. Clarke merely waited for her to calm. "This is stupidity talking." She growled after a minute. "Your life is valuable, to the people, to your son." Clarke tensed at the mention of Jacob. "How can I protect you and keep my promise if you won't allow me to?"

Clarke reached up and touched slightly trembling fingertips to Lexa's flushed skin. She traced her jawline softly noting the twitching muscles beneath her hand. "I'm not so easy to kill."

 _May we meet again._

Lexa studied her before her face smoothed from its troubled look. The remark caused a small smirk to form on her lips. Lexa closed her eyes and inhaled drawing strength and removed herself from Clarke's space. Clarke watched as the warrior washed the blood from her hand and silently tended to the self-inflicted injury. Clarke frowned and approached taking the woman's hand in her own. She finished cleaning the small abrasions and wrapped the hand tenderly all the while hyper aware of Lexa's gaze.

"We should sleep," she whispered still holding the leaders hand. "It's getting late, and I have training tomorrow with Amelia." Clarke watched as Lexa's hand slid softly from her own. Her own hands fell uselessly to her side. An awkward silence followed.

"I have something to show you first." Lexa said and Clarke watched as she approached Jacob.

The boy gazed up at Lexa and brought his arms up with exclaims of "Heda!" as she approached. Lexa obliged only to pull him up and provide stability in his attempts at ambulating. Lexa encouraged him and Clarke smiled kneeling to the ground and holding out her arms in welcome. Slowly Lexa released one of his hands and soon the other followed. Jacob stood tottering at first but then his right leg moved forward followed by his left. He wavered precariously for a moment when his right leg held the most of his weight but he recovered and continued on with his arms held in the air for balance. Clarke encouraged him with a warm smile and outstretched arms while Lexa spoke to him in a mixture of Trigedasleng and English. As the last few steps were made he tumbled into her arms.

Clarke laughed and held him tightly rising to her feet and praising his ability. For a moment, Clarke and Lexa smiled at one another sharing in the joy of Jacob's accomplishment. The strained moments before were all but forgotten.

* * *

I have a Tumblr. blogbdcvitanovworld Also please read and review. Thanks! Who is not in love with canon right now? I am freaking the heck out.


	18. Chapter 18

Lexa's gait held purpose and she arrived at the location where her Night Bloods trained. She had been informed that Clarke was training ever diligently with the young potentials as well as her own personal soldiers with the training led by the Azgeda born female. Lexa had only seen Clarke in passing since that first night after the meeting and the challenge to Wanheda's title and suggestion of the Skaikru's induction into the Coalition. Clarke had removed some of her belongings from her room (not all of them) and returned to her previous quarters with Jacob. They had disagreed most verbally the next morning regarding the challenge, and Lexa thought it was that conversation that had angered the foreign raised woman to relocate.

It was a smart move to seclude herself from all distractions. She did not need to be coddled if she was truly to fight and she had no intention of backing down. Lexa knew Clarke had every intention of winning and killing Prince Roan. Some part of her knew that the Skai woman understood that it was not just her life in jeopardy, but Lexa's and her legacy as Heda. It brought her immeasurable pride to know that despite all they had gone through Clarke was fighting to uphold the honor of Heda. Nevertheless, she felt the emptiness of her bed, and bereft each time she gazed at the basinet Jacob usually resided in. She had grown accustomed to having them both by her side.

It felt as if it was a premonition of what was to come, and as Heda she was preparing for the moment when they would be lost to her forever. She had lost Costia once and survived, she would do so again after Clarke left her as well. They all left her in the end. To possess the spirit of Heda was to be alone. But if she could prevent it in any way possible, she would.

She had one last attempt to change the course of this battle tomorrow.

Titus came to meet her as she approached. He had taken to following Wanheda when not in her presence. He did not trust Clarke; she knew this. But recently that mistrust had transformed into something entirely different. He studied her. It was as if he was deciding on something of great importance. She remembered that assessing gaze upon her during her own training as a young and promising Night Blood.

She noticed that the majority of her Night Blood's were engrossed in Clarke and Amelia's training. She saw their admiring faces and took a moment to admire the skills of both warriors. However, it was not long before she noticed that there were two of her potentials unaccounted for. Her eyes searched until she found Crystina and Kalyn circling the perimeter in a brisk run.

" _What are they doing?"_ she asked with curiosity placing her hands behind her back.

Titus took a moment to direct his attention to where her gaze was and sighed. _"Wanheda thought it necessary to have them run until the sun set."_

Lexa turned and raised an eyebrow to meet his face after looking at the obviously fatigued Night Bloods. She idly wondered how long they had been running for.

" _Punishment?"_ she asked inquisitive as to why Wanheda would make such a request and even more amused at the thought of Clarke giving orders to her charges. She kept her lips from turning up in amusement. The Night Bloods were hers to command, but they had listened to Clarke and Titus had allowed it for whatever reason.

" _A lesson, Heda."_ He gently waited patiently for him to continue as she observed Crystina stumble and nearly fall until Kalyn grabbed the back of her shirt and pushed her forward. She recalled the young girl and boy being frequently at odds. Crystina was one of the potentials she had not expected to last the first year upon reaching the Capitol. She had survived, but she was most likely never to be anything more than a Night Blood. The Conclave would be her death as it would be most of their fates. _"They were attempting to impress Wanheda with their skills. Crystina's wrist was injured in a sparring match with Kalyn. Wanheda proclaimed they run together until the sunsets. When the first one falls the other must carry them. 'Blood must protect blood'._ "

She raised her head in approval. Blood must protect blood. It was an old saying for their people, but an oath for the Night Bloods. The Night Blood was a rare gift. Train hard. Protect one another. Protecting those of the Night Blood was to protect the legacy of Heda. Injuries occurred in the years training as an initiate, but injuries made in the face of pride, or other reasons outside of bettering one self for becoming Heda, were considered unwarranted. To harm another unjustly or oneself unjustly, was inexcusable.

Lexa watched the two Night Bloods continue to run and predicted Kalyn would be carrying more weight on his shoulders in the next hour. The sounds of battle redirected her attention once more to Clarke and Amelia. She scrutinized every move estimating the blondes' chances of survival. Her eyes narrowed in scrutiny. The skill was unmistakable, but the weaknesses were evident. Clarke would die tomorrow if she did nothing just as Costia had.

* * *

The sharp metallic blade came at her suddenly and Clarke barely managed to evade the blow with her own sword. Her arms shook with the force of withstanding Amelia's sword bearing down on her. This was the last day of training before the fight tomorrow at noon. Clarke had been on a strict regimen preparing for the fight with Amelia. The woman was of the Azgeda and was determined to fit a lifetime of training and living as an Azgeda warrior in one week. Clarke deferred explaining to the warrior that a life's worth of training could not prepare her for a match against Prince Roan. The man had a legacy of spilt blood.

Sweat dripped from Clarke's brow and ran down her face to disappear into the light jacket she wore against the late afternoon chill. It was a few hours yet until sundown, still fairly early, but Clarke had been training with Amelia since just before sunrise. Unable to hold the attack any longer, Clarke threw her body weight to the side and spun rapidly avoiding Amelia's ensuing attack. Her blue eyes stared at the former Azgeda warrior in concentration trying to find some semblance of an opening. It was not an easy thing to do and Amelia was trained much differently then Liam who was born and raised in Trikru tactics. The Trikru were warriors, but the Azgeda were unpredictable and ruthless in battle. Liam had trained her well, but he had focused on defensive tactics to prepare her should she need to defend herself or her son.

Amelia sliced the edge of her sword along Clarke's shin creating a shallow cut. She pursed her lips angered at her inability to block the small attack. Liam had always been fair and in hindsight easy in practice. Clarke wondered if it was due to who she was and because Lexa had ordered him and his family to protect her.

Amelia was anything but fair. She was trained of a different clan, one that she was to fight tomorrow to the death. Clarke appreciated the ruthlessness with which Amelia trained her. She did not spend time praising her in what skills she possessed; there was no time for such things and her feelings mattered little in the face of impending death.

" _Wanheda!"_ Various arms bearing weapons waved in the air in excitement.

"You can do it Skai Prisa!"

Amelia and Clarke circled one another waiting for the other to strike first. Clarke tried to keep her eyes on Amelia's face as she was instructed. In trying to do so she missed the slide of Amelia's feet as they slid in an offensive maneuver. She avoided the first swing of the blade only to be backhanded. She stumbled nearly falling as her tongue swept along the fresh cut on her bottom lip.

"Watch out Klark!" Rebekah called sitting on the sidelines with Lexa's young protégé Aden.

She ignored the calls of the young Night Bloods taking a break in their own training to watch her get her ass kicked. She was far too busy trying to block Amelia's attacks and watch her footwork to anticipate her next move. In some ways it was beyond embarrassing having these young initiates watch her train and fail against another warrior.

Clarke blocked another attack and held off the blade before rotating her arm around and spinning to catch Amelia's blind side. The attack was successfully, if barely, blocked and Clarke elbowed her in the face knocking her a few paces back. The cheers continued from the usually quiet group of adolescents.

"They are impressed with you." Amelia grinned despite the newly acquired mark on her face.

"I sincerely doubt that." Clarke scoffed and swung at her only to miss.

"You defeated one of them." Amelia countered both in words and with her blade. Steal clashed for a few more blows before they circled again.

"I defeated a child." Clarke gasped in harsh exhales. It felt good to use her muscles and exert herself. She was sore, but she felt stronger. It felt almost as if she was back in the forest before she had met Coltrane and found respite in Leston and the safety of its borders.

Clarke remembered a time when her mother believed she was still a child.

 _She stopped being a child when you sent her here to die._

"No easy feat." Amelia said. "These initiates are trained to be warriors and leaders. Much is expected of them and of you." She struck and tripped Clarke. Clarke fell but orchestrated it into a roll to avoid the following assault. She rose to her feet with her face searching for the next attack and wondering where she could strike unsuspectingly. "Outside of Skaikru and Floudonkru you are Wanheda."

Amelia yelled and struck from overhead. Clarke blocked with a grunt, her feet sliding back in the dirt. Sweat dripped down her brow and Clarke narrowed her eyes. With a yell she pushed Amelia back and the warrior stumbled a few feet away. "Good," Amelia panted lowering her sword. Clarke waited a beat before doing the same having already learned that particular lesson on the first day of training. They nodded to one another and lowered their weapons as their breaths eased.

"Slowly you also gain the power of Heda." Amelia straightened and Clarke's chest heaved. She ignored the sounds of excitement as Titus called the Night Bloods to attention and they paired up to fight. Aden approach Rebekah confidently and Clarke held back a grin as Rebekah tried to smother her elation at being asked despite being an outsider amongst the Night Bloods.

Wisdom.

Compassion.

Strength.

"The power of Heda?" She asked pulling her attention back to Amelia. "What are you talking about?"

"You lay with Heda in the evening and her power transfers to you just as the power of Wanheda transfers to her." She explained and her eyes glanced away for a moment.

Clarke followed her gaze and noted Lexa standing off to the side observing them. She appeared collected as always, but Clarke could detect the determined look about her and the way Lexa's eyes swept over her form. They had rarely been in the same room over the last week. Clarke was trying to stay focused and Lexa was giving her the time and space she needed. She felt guilty, and knew that Lexa did not approve of her accepting the challenge let alone representing herself in single combat.

She tore her eyes away before she became lost in the hazel green eyes. "We're not sleeping together." At Amelia's bland expression Clarke nearly rolled her eyes and clarified. "Having sex I mean."

"It matters not. Everyone thinks you are." Amelia quirked an eyebrow sheathing her sword.

"We're not even in a relationship." Clarke sighed absently looking at the blade in her hand.

" _Heda's do not have houmons they have consorts."_ Amelia stated strongly.

" _I'm not her consort."_ Clarke denied with a snarl.

Amelia nodded at the blade sheathed at Clarke's waist. _"I know. That blade says otherwise. It means you are more, that you are above all others. You are her equal. There has been no other like you in our history and it makes you dangerous. That's why they want to kill you. One of the reasons at least."_

"Let me count the ways." Clarke finally relented and rolled her eyes while muttering under her breath. Amelia had no idea how dangerous she was. She had not seen the carnage at Mount Weather. The radiation burns of the dead alone were enough to fuel any child's nightmares.

"Night Bloods!" Lexa called and the young initiates paused and waited for her to speak. "Your training has finished for this day. Rest, for there will be much to do tomorrow." Lexa said as she met Clarke's eyes.

Crystina and Kalyn immediately stopped running. Crystina gasped for breath and collapsed to her knees.

Clarke walked forwards and the young Night Bloods looked between the two women unsure of whether to keep running or leave for the evening.

"Do you understand now?" Clarke asked patiently. _"How does one lead as Commander?"_

The two looked at one another still gasping for air _._ They took a moment to steal looks from Heda before the leader nodded in approval. _"By serving our people. Each life is valuable, and we suffer every loss as our own._ _Protect the blood, protect each other and the legacy of Heda."_ Kalyn panted between gasps.

" _Pride has no place,"_ Crystina added. _"Respect our strengths and weaknesses and the lives of our fellow Night Bloods._

Clarke nodded satisfied. _"Do as Heda says. Keep your wrist clean Crystina."_

" _Sha, Wanheda."_ Crystina stood on shaky legs and Kalyn followed none to gracefully. Crystina stumbled once and the older boy swung his arm around her waist to support her. Clarke's lips turned up in approval and she playfully touched Kalyn's shoulder urging him on his way.

" _Heda,"_ Clarke faced Lexa and took a moment to compose herself.

Lexa squared her shoulders and clasped her hands in front of her. "You have skill."

" _Mochof."_

"Prince Roan's abilities far surpass yours." She said bluntly.

Clarke looked to the side and closed her eyes briefly willing for patience. She stepped closer and raised both of her eyebrows. "Your pep talk needs a little work."

She moved to walk past her but Lexa clasped her left arm. The touch startled her more than anything. She glanced down at the hand and then to its owner meeting Lexa's imploring eyes. Titus and Amelia stood in the background and she ignored them to the best of her ability. The Night Bloods were slowly disappearing beyond the hills with a small assembly of guards. They were the treasure and legacy of the Trigedakru and were always escorted.

"Please Klark, see reason. This challenge is for you as much as me. I know what you're doing. You try to fix everything but you cannot. You are playing into the Azgeda's hands." Lexa's eyes searched hers and Clarke met them determinedly.

Challenging the power of Wanheda was to challenge Heda. Clarke did what Lexa had failed to do at Mount Weather. If Clarke lost in single combat, then it determined that Lexa was weak and undeserving of the title of Heda. This single combat was to determine if the power of Wanheda truly existed and if she was worthy of the privileges that Heda bestowed upon her and if Lexa had chosen wisely not to kill her and elevate her as she had.

"I won't watch you die." Lexa said in resolve her face brimming with repressed anger echoing words spoken days ago between them.

"I don't plan on dying," Clarke said with emphasis. She removed Lexa's hand from her arm and the appendage dropped uselessly back to its owners' side. "What would you do if the challenge was for you?"

Lexa immediately straightened her posture. "I am Heda. No one fights for me." She declared her eyes burning like repressed flame.

"Exactly." Clarke turned her head and raised her eyebrows.

"This is different." Lexa bared her teeth walking away unable to maintain the physical closeness.

"If I let someone else fight for me, it makes me look weak, it makes you look weak."

She would not let that happen. There was too much at stake. The lives of their people and impending war were on the line. Lexa was trying to protect her to the point of making both of them vulnerable. She knew that the leader still felt responsible for leaving her at Mount Weather and was doing all in her power to show in words and actions that they were in this together until the end.

Lexa pursed her lips and silently drew her blade from its sheath. "I possess no weakness. Fight me."

Clarke stared at her for a moment before gripping her sword. She tightened the grip on her weapon and raised it as Lexa raised her own sword. She swallowed thickly and let a slow and calming breath ease between her lips as she took a defensive stance. Heda's fighting prowess was legendary and Clarke felt more prepared going up against Roan tomorrow than facing her in this moment. Lexa studied her for an instant before falling into her own posture. Clarke waited patiently for her to attack. After a moment it was clear that the Trigedakru leader was waiting for her to make the first move.

She squared her shoulders and her thighs tightened in preparation. She pushed from the ground and came at Lexa without so much as a cry of warning. Lexa spun to the right and swiftly kicked Clarke in the rear as she passed nearly sending her to her knees. The blond nearly dropped her sword and clenched her fists in anger. She turned and found Lexa waiting for her. Heda's sword was lowered and her chin rose, clearly waiting for Clarke's next move. Her relaxed posture indicated that she did not perceive Clarke as a threat.

Clarke roved towards the warrior and brought her weapon in front of her face. She lunged and used her momentum to change directions at the last minute. Lexa caught her attack but barely. It was obvious Lexa was stronger physically, and Clarke's arms shook from withholding her opponents blade. Their gazes matched between their scraping blades. Clarke narrowed her eyes and quickly kneed Lexa's side hoping the blow would make her give. As it happened, the only indication of any contact was a small twitch in the woman's facial muscles. Her black outerwear with the many buckles suited as a sufficient amount of padding.

In an instant, Lexa released her blade with her left hand and used her elbow to strike the side of Clarke's head. Her eyes shut briefly in pain and she released the power struggle but was able to swing around. In doing so, the tip of her blade caught the short dark skirt near Lexa's hip. Lexa's eyes widened and they both paused looking to the torn clothing. Clarke recovered first from the surprise at actually catching Lexa off guard and reverted into a basic stance. Lexa's feet widened and she held her sword up pointing to Clarke with her elbows bent ready to strike.

She charged in such a fast pace that Clarke barely had time to parry and her arms shook with the effort to hold her attack and reverberated from steel meeting steel. They traded blows and despite the sweat dripping into her eyes, Clarke focused on the fight with vigor. She had something to prove. She needed Lexa's respect and confidence. Her opinion mattered more to her than anyone.

With an uncharacteristic cry, Lexa swept Clarke's feet from underneath her and she fell to the ground with the air knocked out of her. She tried to get up only to have Lexa grab her left wrist and knock it against the ground until the blade fell from her fingers. Her eyes were clearly angry as she peered at Clarke in victory. Slowly, she trapped Clarke's left arm and brought her own sword near her throat. Clarke refused to break eye contact as she narrowed her eyes. The moment that Lexa realized there was a knife ready to be imbedded into her side she closed her eyes and opened them with the anger all but gone. She freed Clarke but did not move from her position atop her. Clarke's hand shook still poised to imbed itself in Lexa's side.

"Well done, Klark." Clarke moved the knife, Lexa's gift from long ago, from the leaders' side. Lexa's strength all but fled before her posture became guarded. Clarke's gaze softened in understanding. Lexa was worried and she did not know how to protect her.

"It's going to be fine." Clarke soothed as she brought her hands to Lexa's sides. Lexa's face was slowly inching forwards as her hair flowed to curtain around them. "I have too much to live for to die tomorrow."

Hazel green eyes dilated and darkened until they abruptly looked away. Lexa removed herself and Clarke quickly followed. Lexa stood slightly turned away from her and Clarke returned her blade to her waist and sheathed her sword behind her back. Clarke felt that the leader was not willing to face her for whatever reason. She knew that Lexa was trying to prove a point and perhaps even change her mind and force her to allow Amelia to represent her tomorrow. She did not blame her for this. Lexa most likely would have won if their positions were reversed. And Clarke would not want to watch Lexa fight to the death either. Clarke's heart was too full to stay angry with Lexa out of spite. They were angry, frustrated and fearful to lose the other. It was an unstable time, and Clarke was realizing that she did not want to waste the time they had.

She approached Lexa cautiously not wanting to startle her. Clarke could feel the eyes of Amelia and Titus even though they were respectfully keeping their distance.

"Heda…." She said softly daring to take a step closer. "Lexa," she spoke intimately. She touched her fingers lightly to Lexa's and they twitched. The green-eyed woman turned to angle her head until she glanced at their hands. Emboldened, Clarke took a firmer grip and Lexa's fingers entwined with hers. Hesitantly, Lexa met Clarke's eyes and turned fully around to face her.

"I won't loose you." Her voice was strong but there was an unmistakable waiver.

"You won't." Clarke shook her head and furrowed her brows resolutely. She raised her other hand to cup Lexa's jaw and the woman closed her eyes briefly before leaning into the touch. "I know what I'm doing." Lexa raised her eyes again and nodded grasping Clarke's wrist near her face. "I need you to promise me something, just in case." Lexa's nostrils flared slightly taking in a breath but she nodded. "I know we're not exactly on the best terms, but I need you to do something for me, no matter what." Lexa nodded against her hand. "Take care of Jacob."

She felt the moment when Lexa distanced herself. She froze under her palm and released Clarke's wrist. The brunette swallowed and stepped away. Clarke saw the moment that she protected herself and drew strength, as her stance grew planted and her muscles tense. She nodded slowly and meaningfully.

"He will be as my own. I swear it." Lexa declared shortly. She picked up her own sword without another word and regally walked into the early sunset.

" _Mochof."_ Clarke whispered both grateful and forlorn.

Clarke watched her back as she walked away and Titus approached after Lexa's form faded from sight.

"You take life as easily as you heal, you lead as you follow when it suits you." He paused for a moment watching her closely even as she did not meet his eyes. "I was worried about your influence. And I was right to." He said after a moment as Clarke continued to stare where Lexa's form had disappeared over the hills. His voice was a constant buzzing in her ears. "I hope you succeed Klark kom Skaikru, if not for yourself and your son, then for Heda." He left her with those words following after all of the others until it was just her and Amelia left on the hillside gazing over the city of Polis.

"I hope so to." She exhaled a shaky breath trying to calm the staccato of her heart. "May we meet again."

* * *

Next up is the single combat.

Canon is amazing. I am on tumblr. blogbdcvitanovworld

Most likely the last update of this month. Sorry. Too much going on. Please read and review! You inspire me to write more faster!


End file.
